Zero Punctuation: Final Fantasy XIII
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
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I enjoyed this review, I really felt that he was bashing things which were actually detrimental to the game itself, rather than just focusing on miniscule aspects for the sake of comedy. Sure, there was the footsteps thing, but shut up, that was pretty funny.
How is the naysaying due to nostalgia if all the points of contention are elements from previous games? That makes no senseyanipheonu said:
And regardless, it's almost the default "covering my ears, I'm not listening!" argument of people defending an entry into an established series to suggest this. Not that it doesn't ever happen, but really LISTEN to the things people are saying about it. The complaint isn't "this game has some minor linearity", it's "this game is TOO linear." There's a big difference there. The argument is thus that the game is more linear than its predecessors, not just that it is linear. Previous games all - repeat, ALL let you freely explore the environment to a certain extent (and I'm just talking about "Numbered" Final Fantasy games here, not Tactics, etc...) from the get-go. Sure you didn't get access to the entire world right off the bat, but unlocking more and more of it as you progressed and obtained new vehicles, etc... was part of the fun of exploring. They mixed this up a bit with FFX and FFXII, but you still had the ability to backtrack, sidequest, and explore a little bit (moreso in XII). Thus, completely removing this freedom from the game is a big change.
And yes, change isn't necessarily a bad thing, but having played the game myself I can safely say that, to me, every single mechanic change they implemented is just terrible, and makes XIII far less fun than any of the previous titles in the series.
Because nobody could possibly actually dislike something you like... How exactly does it "open up" in four hours? You for damned sure can't make it to Grand Pulse in that time, which is the 20 hour mark everyone else is referring to. You're probably just talking about the combat system fully unlocking, but I don't really care about that, since the whole system is **** as far as I'm concerned. The "opening up" bit people have been talking about is when the game stops forcing you to run down straight-line corridors punctuated on either end by cutscenes, and 20 hours is a pretty accurate guess on that.ShibuyaRiver said:
The combat system is the least-involving, least-nuanced iteration that we've ever seen with the ATB. You only directly control one character, and even that is a tenuous claim, because most of the time you'll just be hitting the auto-battle button, since battles occur in real time and thus wasted seconds are truly wasted. You can issue your party general commands with the paradigms, but think of how simplified that has made things - your control over your entire party has been essentially whittled down to the same level of control you have over squadron-mates in flight combat games like HAWX or Ace Combat. "Attack, Defend, Support" has been expanded to include "attack with magic, debuff the enemy, and heal us", but it's still an incredibly basic, AI-reliant mechanic that ensures most of what you'll be doing in battles is watching from the sidelines, casually tapping one button again and again until you need to paradigm shift. It's all just BORING. At least with Gambits when the game played itself it did so based on the rules YOU set for it.
I'm a big fan of Yahtzee, but this felt like a very unprofessional review. He admits that not only did he not finish the game, he only got 5 hours in and proclaimed it as ass, which is like taking a nibble off of a slice of cake and decreeing that the cake is disgusting. He can make all the arguments about how a game shouldn't have to take a long time to get good, but it doesn't make his decision to only play 5 hours any more valid. If it was taking him so long to get through the game then he should have A) Waited to review it until after he finished it and review a different game this week instead, like he did with Mass Effect 2, or B) Mark the review as a "First Impressions" like he did with The Witcher.
Why it would just be same as every other game he criticizes for nothing more than his fan base? The one time he tried to do a good "review" people hated it and it never really happened ever again.Suskie said:
OT: Not surprising really nothing I didn't expect from Yahtzee who not only hates JRPGs but also has to hate nearly everything. Ah well what are you gonna do?
Right: on the subject of the review, this is probably the single most disappointing review Yahtzee has ever done. I've been waiting to see Yahtzee tear this game to pieces almost as long as I've been waiting to play it myself, and he phones in a "yeah mana bar opening sorry first five hours no good"? Tsk. This was supposed to be the grand JRPG teardown, not some...some...I don't know... *sigh*
Can I just say, thank you. I'm sick of people talking about how good the game is, when really, it's complete utter crap. An absolute disappointment that I only continue to play due to some masochistic form of brand loyalty. I'm around hour 32, and the game doesn't get better. Sure, the story starts to try to be told, but even at this point in the game, I still find myself more confused then actually knowing what's going on. And from what part of the story I do follow, it doesn't make sense, because the story is fucking retarded. Then there is the whole issue of the new battle system, and let me just say, I'm slightly disappointed you didn't get that far in the game - around 10 hours in before you are able to control the battle more extensively - because you would have ripped Square a new asshole for the absolute stupidity and inefficiency of the how it is set up. The whole game is just one big pretty waste of time, that I've equated to chewing on rocks, because that's the closest thing I can describe it's enjoyability. Though, I did like your oven metaphor, that is probably more accurate. It's nothing but linear corridor after linear corridor, which no grand scope of the world it's trying so desperately for you to like, that you just hate every moment you play and just want it to be over. But the achievement whore in me continues to solider on for absolute no other reason than I'm that asshole.
Yahtzee hates all games (except GOW) equally but the reviews are entertaining and thats the point eh?
Less disks?Pendragon9 said:
Surely only playing 5 hours he was still on disk 1.
I don't blame him for only playing 5 hours. It's the amount of time it took me to finish MW2 Campaign on Advanced so surely by playing for 5 hours someone would be able to tell whether or not the game is good or going to get better for them.
I really appreciate the abuse of Vanille. I tolerated the things that came out of her mouth on the grounds that she seemed to honestly have some kind of mental disability.
And, the erotic fanart? Out already? It was out BEFORE the game was released. The perv is nothing if not punctual.
And, the erotic fanart? Out already? It was out BEFORE the game was released. The perv is nothing if not punctual.
I think Yahtzee criticized the points of the game that got it off slow. I think this FF started slow because it's Square Enix first HD game and they had lot they wanted to work with and they ended up drawing out the games' story and story telling system. I haven't beaten the game yet but I'm at the point where the story is telling itself (not through Datalogs) just after or under and hour of gameplay. And with a game this large and it being a FF that's pretty good intervals.