Zero Punctuation: Final Fantasy XIII

[katsabas]

Well, he did have a point at giving the game a shot. Liked how he chewed on his face at the end. Also: story flows like an ant pushing a brick across the desert. That is the best analogy Y has managed to put together since his Too Human review. Also, does Y even have that kind of underwear? Whoah, don't open that door...

 

[Vestsao]

FFXIII is the only FF game I've played and I really like it... My heart is broken and I shall now email YZ about how wrong he is and how he should reviewing games..

 

[addeB]

I never liked JRPGS or turn based combat (except in civilization) and Final fantasy XIII didn't change that.

 

[k-ossuburb]

WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO VANILLE YOU MISERABLE TWAT I HOPE YOU DIE OF SQUIRREL AIDS!

Someone's taking things a little too seriously. Also, who/what the hell is "Vanille"?

OT: had to watch this just because it ripped on Final Fantasy. I had a friend in college who was gah-gah over it and would never listen to my reasons for hating the game. Not only that, she wouldn't even bother to try out something different; it was FF or nothing, which was a shame.

Oh wait, she also liked Kingdom Hearts. Pfft, like there's a difference.

Edit: never mind, I just saw who she was; the "kooky" character. In that case what exactly did he do to her? She barely played a part in it other than being a moron, which is probably accurate.

It was a joke:X Vanille is the character he mutilated in the end of the episode during the credits.

Oh, sorry I didn't bother with the credits. I just saw the caps lock and was immediately reminded of the fangirl friend I mentioned earlier. I thought you were being serious there, which made my "chill the hell out" reflex come into action.

 

[yanipheonu]

FFXIII is the only FF game I've played and I really like it... My heart is broken and I shall now email YZ about how wrong he is and how he should reviewing games..

Which raises a great point. A lot of the nay saying is due to nostalgia. Most (actually likely all, even the linearity) of the elements people don't like have been done in FFs before.

I know it would be wonderful if FFXIII was the same as your favourite, but Square wants to make what they want.

 

[Monshroud]

I somewhat expected Yahtzee to review the game with glowing praise actally. Being right near April 1st it would have been a great April Fools joke.

Either way, still a funny review and looking forward to next weeks.

 

[crimsonshrouds]

I was starting to think i was the only one who stopped playing final fantasy after 6...

I love final fantasy 6 and the ones before it but never played the ones after and probably never will.

 

[Hayate_GT]

that was good...watched it twice in a row...and thank you fellow escapists i honestly thought i was the only person in the world who never wanted to touch any one of those f*cking games...angst angst...kook kook...now back to half-life...

 

[Rinshan Kaihou]

Yahtzee, I'm not a huge fan of Final fantasy, and I will agree that that first couple hours are pretty slow. But about 10 hours in it gets much better. Even sooner, the hope kid gets useful, and becomes an interesting character. The combat is VASTLY improved over previous games. Though Vanille is the most annoying character in any game I've ever played, ever. It is terribly linear, but the story is interesting enough to keep going with it. Lightning takes a while to be warmed up too, but when she did she became my favorite character. I'm actually about 18 hours in, at the part where most people consider it "Better", but I think it picked up the pace pretty well after the Lightning Eidolin fight. Much better than FF X, I actually like this one.

 

[trent08]

good luck with the bar

 

[Burst6]

Nice episode, made me laugh.


Now, if you dont mind, ill go back to crushing giant dragon/wolf things that can stand up on 2 legs and turn their horns into giant swords.

 

[LazyAza]

Yep ff13 is a steaming turd, awesome review Yahtzee.

Its crazy that their are actually people out there who enjoy and defend this game, like wtf. Then again theirs been like two or three good jrpgs in the span of 15 years so eh I guess the genre just caters well to people with terrible taste in everything from gameplay to story to characters.

I am not an anti-anime person, some of my favorite series/movies ever are anime but fuck I've had more illnesses I've enjoyed than I have jrpgs.

 

[nyysjan]

Well, the only really unexpected thing about this that Yahtzee actually reviewed FF XIII instead of it being another april fools joke, it was a funny episode, but in a totally unsurprising and expected way.
I'll probably buy the game at some point soon, and i probably will complain, a lot, about linearity, lack of side quests and totally unsurprising characters/plot twists, and when thay release the next Final (totaly, next time they'll mean it) Fantasy, i'll probably do it all over again.

 

[dex-dex]

COCONUTS?

a Monty python reference i see!
i guess they could not get a horse.

 

[ShibuyaRiver]

Yahtzee talks about how linear FFXIII was, and brags about most of the content not being unlocked 20+ hours in.

But then turns around to say FFVI was one of his favorite games, maybe the most linear of all the earlier Final Fantasy titles, and, it's another example of content being unlocked, that's a major focus on combat and stat growth... GASP! 20+ hours into the game! NO NO NO!

I know I'm not supposed to take this guy seriously, but when his fans go off on a huge circle jerk with every single video he posts, I find it alittle hard to believe.

Though, then again, this is the guy who played Left 4 Dead on multiplayer, saying that's how the game was intended. Then turned around to play Borderlands and Bad Company 2 in their single player aspects.

 

[AndrewOfHell]

First thing I thought when I saw this was "Oh Christ some games anus is about to be torn...".

Surprisingly this was all spot on, and bloody funny ^^

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

I know putting any kind of comment in what quickly is becoming the Dark Knight of his reviews (I.E. it is getting lots of reviews very fast) is going to be noticible as pouring out a glass of water in the middle of the pacific, but I been wondering, anything interesting happen in the first week of the Mana Bar Yahtzee?

 

[blalien]

I'm getting a slight hunch that Yahtzee is not a fan of Vanille.

Who the fuck is a fan of Vanille, besides those gamers who think mindless, kooky, underaged girls with no visible contribution to the storyline are cute and thinks they're comic relief. They're not comic relief, they're annoying and more of a joke. The only thing I see from the "Kooky spices" are as further bait to satisfy the hungers of perverted fan-artists.

If you are a fan of Vanille or will otherwise prove me wrong in some fashion, I have no reason to respond back because this is what I consider as fact. I do not want fillers/filler characters in my games or in my animes. Also, if there's some good explanation as to why she acts like that, then please reply back as to how she also contributes heavily to the storyline outside gameplay.

Relax, I am as much a fan of Vanille as you are of anger management.

 

[Snotnarok]

Fantastic video, I knew he was going to tear it apart but I didn't expect him to leave nothing left but confetti...that's on fire. The game looked terrible but the like that I heard both from Yahtzee and a friend "Game gets better 20 hours in" is exactly what I said "NOT A GOOD SELLING POINT" 20 hours is nearly a day and I have better things to play that are great from the start.

 

[Aptspire]

Well, I never did understand the FF characters to begin with, so I'm starting off poorly
oh and good on you Yahtzee to not try an early April's fool joke...unlike SOME people