Zero Punctuation: Final Fantasy XIII

[nutgear]

gets good 10 hours in LOL!!!

 

[yanipheonu]

All I know is that apparently there are a lot of effing trolls in The Escapist community.

 

[Bokra]

Bought it, played it, wasn't impressed. In this day and age in video gaming it is laughable to me to release a title that is so linear. I know, later it gets better but I'm still not impressed. If you can choke through the first 20 hours of the game, there's a mediocre experience to be had. The only npc that I had any real desire to fight was titan and (SPOILER ALERT) you can't. The weapon system was a joke too. The only good thing I got out of this game was that the combat system reminded me of Xenogears and made me start to play through that again.

 

[Distorted Stu]

Im gonna have to agree, i stopped playing it 30hours in... its not that enjoyable as i hoped. Im only playign to see how the fucker ends.

 

[Soxafloppin]

ZP's are much more enjoyable when you dont like the game hes reviewing.

Good episode.

 

[Lord_Seth]

I like the review, but I'm also surprised it made me want to play the game, but in the same way people (including me) watch bad movies for fun. Are people doing that with games? I mean, is there like a Nostalgia Critic for bad games?

Does the Angry Video Game Nerd count?

 

[Seneschal]

I like the review, but I'm also surprised it made me want to play the game, but in the same way people (including me) watch bad movies for fun. Are people doing that with games? I mean, is there like a Nostalgia Critic for bad games?

Does the Angry Video Game Nerd count?

Oh, right. Haven't thought of him. Though, he's much too retro; looking at someone raging over a bad 30-years-old game played from an audio cassette just makes them look like they care too much.

 

[Mr.Mudkip]

I like the review, but I'm also surprised it made me want to play the game, but in the same way people (including me) watch bad movies for fun. Are people doing that with games? I mean, is there like a Nostalgia Critic for bad games?

Does the Angry Video Game Nerd count?

Oh, right. Haven't thought of him. Though, he's much too retro; looking at someone raging over a bad 30-years-old game played from an audio cassette just makes them look like they care too much.

Have you ever heard of the SpoonyOne then? He reviews newer games!

 

[BryanS7]

Thank you.

 

[Justin Harris]

You know, it's easier to assume anything Square Enix makes is crap rather than play the filth they produce. Just because it's titled Final Fantasy doesn't really mean it is part of the series. It's more of an indicator that it's the last fantasy game of theirs you'll ever desire to play.

 

[Cluskey]

I really wish that Final Fantasy would roll over cough once and DIE! How many games will it take before they finally wipe their hands and decide they have made enough. You know when NEVER!

If there is one thing i get to wish for when i die it will be that these f***in sequels will stop.

Please let there be an end.

Cluskey.

 

[JonahNYC]

Bought it, played it, wasn't impressed. In this day and age in video gaming it is laughable to me to release a title that is so linear. I know, later it gets better but I'm still not impressed. If you can choke through the first 20 hours of the game, there's a mediocre experience to be had. The only npc that I had any real desire to fight was titan and (SPOILER ALERT) you can't. The weapon system was a joke too. The only good thing I got out of this game was that the combat system reminded me of Xenogears and made me start to play through that again.

Linear is not a crime. I often love linear games. The problem is BORING. Final Fantasy XIII is BORING. There's not a single interesting thing about it. It's so boring that it makes grey look festive. The characters are so uninteresting I'm shocked they don't cave in on their own inaneness.

This. Is. A. Bad. Game.

 

[General BrEeZy]

I've always enjoyed Final Fantasy, but I don't know if I'd attach to that style of playing the games, like 13 and 12...idk though, maybe I'd go past 5 hours, just because I love the games so much. They really are fun, I love the 2D games, I love 7, I adore 10...put I still understand everything Yahtzee meant.

Funny review too XD
I wonder what he's up against for next weeks review...

 

[JonahNYC]

I really wish that Final Fantasy would roll over cough once and DIE! How many games will it take before they finally wipe their hands and decide they have made enough. You know when NEVER!

If there is one thing i get to wish for when i die it will be that these f***in sequels will stop.

Please let there be an end.

Cluskey.

Someone tell Square what "Final" means.

 

[yourbeliefs]

I just love all the personal attacks on Yahtzee from this review. Extra Punctuation should be a good read on Tuesday.

 

[JonahNYC]

I want to hear Ben say "twaaaat".

 

[CheckD3]

Surprise surprise, Yahtzee doesn't like a JRPG, oooooo

I was surprised Yahtzee actually reviewed this game, I was expecting him to just say fuck it and do something else, I'm actually kinda upset, I thought he'd be doing God of War III and found out I was wrong, isn't that great?

Guess this answered the questions in my head if opening the new bar would get int he way of playing his games...hopefully they figure out how to operate a buy napkins, you just click your character instead of Yahtzee, choose buy and then select napkins, just make sure you have money otherwise you could end up really fucked over in the end...

 

[Otterpoet]

Five hours... well, Yahtzee I tip my hat to you. I barely made it through the /first/ hour. One of the first games I've actually gotten mad at. "WTF is going on? Who the ^$%& are these people? Why does that black guy have a bird living in his Afro?! Am I supposed to do something more than press a button to attack? Am I actually attacking?"

* eject *

Normally, the man exaggerates for the sake of satire, but holy crap... this one was spot on! Who the hell can drudge through 20 hours of this before it 'gets good'?!

 

[JonahNYC]

Five hours... well, Yahtzee I tip my hat to you. I barely made it through the /first/ hour. One of the first games I've actually gotten mad at. "WTF is going on? Who the ^$%& are these people? Why does that black guy have a bird living in his Afro?! Am I supposed to do something more than press a button to attack? Am I actually attacking?"

* eject *

Normally, the man exaggerates for the sake of satire, but holy crap... this one was spot on! Who the hell can drudge through 20 hours of this before it 'gets good'?!

Even I know that was a Chocobo. But the black character was borderline offensive. Nearly Stepin Fetchit.

 

[Lagwalker]

Heh love seeing game i like getting bashed as well. thing is he is not wrong on a single point.