Zero Punctuation: Final Fantasy XIII

[Wounded Melody]

That doesn't make it a good story though. Come on if any of the FF plots were released as novels they'd be a massive flop. Seriously, people who think any FF had a fantastic story was either playing a different series than me or is a drooling moron. They can be entertaining yes, so was Avatar, doesn't mean they have an original, hugely engrossing storyline.

You could make almost any of the FFs into a good novel (maybe not 8 XD), but of course you'd have to add some things, and take away others, but that's because a video game storyline flows differently than a written narrative.

 

[Grand_Marquis]

... and partly because Final Fantasy games never learned what narrative pacing is.

Im not quite sure that we are talking about the same brand of games here , I mean, this is not an FPS where all you have to know is to shoot anything with legs until the score pop-up shows up, or an RTS where you select all your units and command kill anything in a 20 mile radius, or even a Fighting game where...well, you just kill.
RPGs (ether J or W) are all about the story and its pacing. Pretty much all of the previous FF games, with the exeption of 10 & 12 of course, had a deep yet easy to follow story filled with more or less likable characters.
However, since FF10 the series has had a decline in character and story-pacing quality similar to the right side of a negative parabola.

I agree with your comment but don't generalize the whole series.

I didn't mean to generalize the whole series - the people responsible for writing it now are not the same as the ones responsible for writing it back then. But these days, the games all seem to be unnecessarily padded out. I usually enjoy a good, slowly paced story, but there's this very important gulf between slowly paced and dragged out which the FF team have quite clearly jumped. And not recently, either.

 

[UkibyTheMaid]

OK, I like this game, but I agree on two or three things A LOT:

-THE SOUND OF WALKING AROUND! Could you be NOISIER, please? I don't think the sound is driving myself insane enough >_>

-Why can't you guys explain anything about any character in the first 10 hours?????? I was dying to know Sazh's backstory and for a moment I thought I wasn't going to get it at all >.<

-HOPE! Stop being a whiny *****! (OK, he gets better later on, but he pissed me off a lot before that -.-")

 

[Ghost]

The only thing that's more of a ***** than Hope is the people who harp on about how 'final Fantasy games aren't what they where back in my day'.

 

[dark-amon]

What troubles me the most is that even thoug Final Fantasy has been my favourite gameseries for years I completley agree with Yathzee on that this game is unlovable. It is torture to play it any longer than when you realise that it isn't fun to play.

 

[F8L Fool]

It's amazing how people completely ignore the fact that he played less than 10% of the game, or are actually applauding him for doing that much. Those are the same people that can't think for themselves, and/or actually take anything Yahtzee says as real merit.

Some people will dislike the game, some people won't. But to have someone make that decision for you is just irresponsible and foolish. Especially when said individual hasn't even played the whole game. Seeing how successful Yahtzee is with reviewing games he hasn't even completed 1/4th of, perhaps he should start reviewing movies too? He'll watch the first ten minutes, then go write a full "comprehensive" review on it. I'm sure people would eat that up.

 

[Tony2077]

note to self and everyone that comes here take these thing with a grain of salt

 

[Tetranitrophenol]

... and partly because Final Fantasy games never learned what narrative pacing is.

Im not quite sure that we are talking about the same brand of games here , I mean, this is not an FPS where all you have to know is to shoot anything with legs until the score pop-up shows up, or an RTS where you select all your units and command kill anything in a 20 mile radius, or even a Fighting game where...well, you just kill.
RPGs (ether J or W) are all about the story and its pacing. Pretty much all of the previous FF games, with the exeption of 10 & 12 of course, had a deep yet easy to follow story filled with more or less likable characters.
However, since FF10 the series has had a decline in character and story-pacing quality similar to the right side of a negative parabola.

I agree with your comment but don't generalize the whole series.

I didn't mean to generalize the whole series - the people responsible for writing it now are not the same as the ones responsible for writing it back then. But these days, the games all seem to be unnecessarily padded out. I usually enjoy a good, slowly paced story, but there's this very important gulf between slowly paced and dragged out which the FF team have quite clearly jumped. And not recently, either.

very true

 

[JPH330]

It's amazing how people completely ignore the fact that he played less than 10% of the game, or are actually applauding him for doing that much. Those are the same people that can't think for themselves, and/or actually take anything Yahtzee says as real merit.

Some people will dislike the game, some people won't. But to have someone make that decision for you is just irresponsible and foolish. Especially when said individual hasn't even played the whole game. Seeing how successful Yahtzee is with reviewing games he hasn't even completed 1/4th of, perhaps he should start reviewing movies too? He'll watch the first ten minutes, then go write a full "comprehensive" review on it. I'm sure people would eat that up.

Okay, I partially agree with this, and partially don't. I disagree with you criticizing Yahtzee for playing so little of FF13. First impressions mean a lot in a video game, and if a game can't impress in the first five hours then it's clearly doing something wrong. I think Yahtzee had every right to stop playing the game, but it is true that if one wanted to consider him on the same level as "professional" critics, it wouldn't really work.

That's the thing, and I'm glad you seemed to acknowledge this as well. In my opinion Yahtzee is a comedian first, and a reviewer second. If people take him too seriously, there's going to be a problem. That's why I can only laugh at all the people who bitched at Yahtzee when he reviewed Bad Company 2 without playing the online multiplayer. Even if he did review it, he wouldn't have liked it, and he would have called it shit anyway, and then people would have complained that he didn't give it enough of a chance or something stupid like that. It's utterly pointless. These people just can't handle the fact that Yahtzee doesn't like the games they like, and they need to laugh it off and shut their mouths.

Anyway, I went way off track, so let me wrap this up by saying that I somewhat agree with you.

 

[anjichan]

I completely agree about the menu-bar attack style. For ****s sake, I want to smash their face in, not have the stupid thing do it for me! Thats no fun at all!

Then you click the attack button. That is simply how these games work, and I hardly see how its any different from pressing a button for it to be done.

well, It seems a bit less personal when you have the person attack for you. I personally feel more interested in the game when I can attack directly instead of going through the menu every time

 

[Sheo_Dagana]

I don't blame him for only playing five hours when he only has a week to make these. I can't play FFXIII for more than two hours and a lot of my friends feel the same way.

 

[DreamingMerc]

Given the massive feedback coming off the FFXIII review it might be time to have another one of those Yahtzee responds videos similar to what happens with SSBB. The time frame works, a review that comes out gets an expected heavy amount of comments, a review for a God of War game, and then the feedback. Or perhaps I've just been drinking to much rubbing alcohol.

 

[startreknerd11011011]

i agree with yahtzee totally, the new fight system is shockingly bad, the last good final fantasy game was IX, FFXIV should have the actual gameplay return to be the same as IX, it worked, and they should bring back the magitech armour

 

[Wounded Melody]

Check out the awesome Snow = TWAT ZP icon someone made:
http://www.livejournal.com/allpics.bml?user=wounded_melody

 

[EddySpaghetti]

hehehe hehehe i think this vid was verrrrry funny all his vids are..,i alwais end up LOL...

 

[enriquetnt]

Dont blame him for hating it, but as a HUGE fan of the series (and even huger fan of FFVI, 3 in america) i can understand that he could not stand it for over 5 hours, at that point i almost threw the disc out of the window, and it took me another 10 hours to get to gran pulse where the games gets good, REALLY GOOD, matter of fact the last 10 hours of the game where better than all the ffs from 7 forward (yes if you ask me the last good one was 6, everithing after it was bloated crap, and yes i played and completed ALL of them so i can talk whit property)

 

[numanumatutu]

I think you should have given the game more time and effort but you hate jrpg's so i understand. I dont think the review was as balanced as it should have been.

 

[Shjade]

That's the thing, and I'm glad you seemed to acknowledge this as well. In my opinion Yahtzee is a comedian first, and a reviewer second. If people take him too seriously, there's going to be a problem. That's why I can only laugh at all the people who bitched at Yahtzee when he reviewed Bad Company 2 without playing the online multiplayer. Even if he did review it, he wouldn't have liked it, and he would have called it shit anyway, and then people would have complained that he didn't give it enough of a chance or something stupid like that. It's utterly pointless.

So mouth-wateringly true. Alas, this is the internet and as such people will continue taking variance in preference as a personal attack to be rebuffed with expletives and rage.

 

[chepenoyo]

This review confirms most of what experiences with FFI, II, VII, VIII, and X had lead me to expect.

Hearing people refer to FF as a RPG gives me twitches. RPGs are about choices and character development, not slogging through repetitive fights to see the next interstitial on the railroad.