Zero Punctuation: Final Fantasy XIII

Sorceror Nobody

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Dec 24, 2008
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Much as I love XIII, Yahtzee makes some fair points. In many ways, the series has declined since VI, and while I like the later ones, VI remains one of my favourites by far. On the other hand, his "four discs" comment becomes irrelevant as soon as you dump the 360 and go PS3...

So, he doesn't like the ATB system? I personally think XIII's variation on ATB is the best so far, btw. Still, if Yahtzee wants a Final Fantasy game to give him some push-button-to-kill-enemy action, he needs to review Dissidia. I'd seriously love to hear what he thinks of that.
 

SuperFlik

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Jun 30, 2010
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If Yahtzee is interested in a JRPG that doesn't have turn-based combat or characters that are agnsty teenagers with ridiculous haircuts and clothing, you should give Tales of Vesperia a try. It's currently only out on the 360 everywhere that isn't Japan (who also get it for the PS3 with enough extras to choke a donkey) and honestly the most fun I've ever had with a JRPG.

You want to press one button to walk up to the enemy to smash him on his head? That's what Tales of Vesperia and every other Tales game does. And Yuri Lowell, is one of the most badass main characters I've ever seen in a JRPG.
 

Gabriel Xollan

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Jun 4, 2010
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I bought the action figures that were released prior to the games release and find that if I had to choose between watching a game that had little to do with me actually playing it I'd rather stick to playing with the action figures and making my own story up. It was nearly just as expensive, but at least I get to control what happens, haha!
 

GodBeastX

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Dec 3, 2008
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Couldn't agree with you more on the FF3 (6 in nerd speech). Ever since 7 I have no idea what Square is thinking. And people actually ask me why I didn't buy 13?

Tactics was the last good final fantasy in my opinion, the rest are just the MTV of RPGs.
 

digital warrior

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Oct 17, 2008
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Couldn't have said it better myself, I got to about 8 hours before i had to quit or risk brain damage. Some people say i didn't give it a chance if after 8 hours you have failed to make me care than something is wrong.
 

littlerudi08107

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Sep 23, 2009
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I rented FF13 recently and I think I can accurately describe it as Final Fantasy 7 with a creamy .hack//sign sauce served with a side of Mass Effect.

And I agree, Vanille is the worst Final Fantasy character ever, even worse than Tidus.
 

scorptatious

The Resident Team ICO Fanboy
May 14, 2009
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After playing through Final Fantasy X for the first time, I can finally understand why you hate the kooky spice characters so much.

God I wanted Rikku to die so much in that game. I cannot comprehend how people actually like her.

With FF7 and FF9, (the only other two FF games I've played so far.) I didn't mind Yuffie and Eiko so much. The former because she's a ninja and ninjas are awesome (also she's an optional character for people who hate that kind of character), the latter because she's a little kid, therefore it makes sense for her to act that way.
 

Da Joz

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May 19, 2009
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I have played and every final fantasy (except 11 and some spinoffs) and have generally really enjoyed them. But this game one is just plain awful.
 

Justin Harris

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Mar 24, 2010
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You all DO realize there hasn't been an authentic Final Fantasy game since 9 right? Anyone who had actually been associated with the previous titles quit when Squaresoft was bought out. 10 was only vaguely assembled from scraps of notes. Every Final Fantasy since then, has been a pretender, created by a 3rd party company that Sqare Enix outsources the project too. Do some research, and for those misty eyed folks that thought they were being true to their title of choice, they may now quietly go hang themselves, for they've been feeding the murderer of their series. :)
 

Justin Blade

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Sep 23, 2010
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AgentBJ09 said:
nicodeemus327 said:
At least you're honest with yourself. That was rather unprofessional. Then again most of us don't watch your videos for an actual review. It's just fun to listen to a fast talking person with a English accent that swears a lot.
Would you consider Destructoid's review unprofessional? They hated the game for one very big reason, among others: Good art not compensating for a poorly executed story and game.

Read it and see for yourself: http://www.destructoid.com/review-final-fantasy-xiii-167136.phtml

From Destructiod: "The game has plenty of promising ideas. The central theme of inescapable destiny, interspersed with hints of racial prejudice and propaganda, could have been something excellent. However, not enough time is devoted to the exploration of these themes. Instead, most of the game is given over to having the characters whine about how hopeless their situation is every thirty minutes. That's when the game isn't introducing epic FMV cutscenes that contain no narrative value whatsoever, just because Square Enix's art department felt like publicly masturbating."

Agreed. I saw nothing but that sort of thing in the months leading up to the game's release, and once the game came out and someone convinced my to rent it from work, which is Gamestop by the way, I knew Square Enix had done something wrong. Afterward, I kept wondering why this game was given such high reviews, and I think it's because people know it's bad, but just can't bring themselves to admit that this game deserves a lower score than almost everyone has given it.

But, I guess word has gotten around. My store alone now has almost twenty used copies sitting in our drawers, and nearly the same number of reserves that have not been picked up yet. Plus, every time someone brings FF XIII back, they often say they didn't like what Square had done, which is give them a linear game and a poor story with nothing but nice graphics to pad it out.

And, I agree.
aannnd you suck u work at game stop.....which sucks. I am a videogame designer and am here to say people gave the game high reviews becus its a good game. So shutup and go sell what i make.
 

Trogdor1138

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May 28, 2010
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Justin Blade said:
AgentBJ09 said:
nicodeemus327 said:
At least you're honest with yourself. That was rather unprofessional. Then again most of us don't watch your videos for an actual review. It's just fun to listen to a fast talking person with a English accent that swears a lot.
Would you consider Destructoid's review unprofessional? They hated the game for one very big reason, among others: Good art not compensating for a poorly executed story and game.

Read it and see for yourself: http://www.destructoid.com/review-final-fantasy-xiii-167136.phtml

From Destructiod: "The game has plenty of promising ideas. The central theme of inescapable destiny, interspersed with hints of racial prejudice and propaganda, could have been something excellent. However, not enough time is devoted to the exploration of these themes. Instead, most of the game is given over to having the characters whine about how hopeless their situation is every thirty minutes. That's when the game isn't introducing epic FMV cutscenes that contain no narrative value whatsoever, just because Square Enix's art department felt like publicly masturbating."

Agreed. I saw nothing but that sort of thing in the months leading up to the game's release, and once the game came out and someone convinced my to rent it from work, which is Gamestop by the way, I knew Square Enix had done something wrong. Afterward, I kept wondering why this game was given such high reviews, and I think it's because people know it's bad, but just can't bring themselves to admit that this game deserves a lower score than almost everyone has given it.

But, I guess word has gotten around. My store alone now has almost twenty used copies sitting in our drawers, and nearly the same number of reserves that have not been picked up yet. Plus, every time someone brings FF XIII back, they often say they didn't like what Square had done, which is give them a linear game and a poor story with nothing but nice graphics to pad it out.

And, I agree.
aannnd you suck u work at game stop.....which sucks. I am a videogame designer and am here to say people gave the game high reviews becus its a good game. So shutup and go sell what i make.
Wow, well thought out response there... I'm sure your games have brilliant writing too.

The guy gave a well thought out long response and there are genuine complaints about the game whether people agree or not. I personally really like the game and am playing through it at the moment, but I have several problems with it.
 

Splitfire3

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Dec 20, 2008
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crikey, wonder how much stuff this forum contains..? this comment just might make it to the 35th page..
this review is so awesome, it makes me laugh quite alot:D im bi lingual and does not speak english regurarly, so getting the most obscure references has been kinda tricky, even though i do understand about 99%. Guess humour sometimes need Full comprehension to make it to it's full extent, for somebody, but hell, i find yahtzee funny as fudge even so^^
 

crystalsnow

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Aug 25, 2009
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krgskks said:
Are you serious? Who the hell plays a game that isn't fun for 5 hours? I wouldn't play a game for more than one if it isn't fun or any good. And then people claim the first 20 hours are boring? What. The. Hell.
If a game is bad, then you don't need to fully play it, to say it's bad. Easy as that.
I wouldn't play for more than 30 minutes....