Zero Punctuation: Final Fantasy XIII

Recommended Videos

lupercal27

New member
Mar 11, 2010
23
0
0
The game goes take an ungodly amount of time to drop the training wheels. Also it is very linear, especially for protagonists that don't even know where to go or what to do really.

All that redundant text posted redundantly in the text of the text says the same thing over and over and again and again, redundantly. I think they were trying to fix some of the past games' confusion points in their plots (like FF7 and FF8 being rather convoluted). It is a bit too much narrative to read. it's like the movie script and cliff notes and encylopeadia all wrapped into one.

Overall I do enjoy the game, it just took too damn long to get moving.
 

Tehlanna TPX

New member
Mar 23, 2010
284
0
0
nicodeemus327 said:
Tehlanna TPX said:
I'm enjoying 13 immensely but unlike some fans I have a sense of humor :). This was awesome. And goddamn Vanille is pretty kooky isn't she? I thought it was just me. She's batshit crazy!
There's actually a reason why she's batshit crazy and acts so kooky.
I had gathered. But I'm not there yet (I'm juggling to even fit in time to play 13 atm!) soooo no spoilers :).
 

Gvaz

New member
Sep 8, 2008
24
0
0
neilsaccount said:
i think that he should have done metro 2033 instead of ff13
So instead of playing one bad game he should play another bad game? Is this what you're saying?
 

Scrythe

Premium Gasoline
Jun 23, 2009
2,367
0
0
I was really looking forward to this one, but I decided to have it tested on my favorite guinea pigs: my friends.

And while I'm watching them play through FFXIII, I found it increasingly difficult to stay awake. I don't know what it is, but for whatever reason the game cannot keep me interested for more than ten minutes before I flip up my laptop and go for as-yet-another full round of Civilization IV. Yes, micromanaging a miniature government is more entertaining to me than a Final Fantasy game. The world around me should be crumbling

Beating a dead horse here, but what Yahtzee said about the characters is painfully true. I know there's sources and interviews and such of the developers flat-out calling this game a FFVII remake, but could they have at least tried to disguise it? Lightning is such an obvious clone of Cloud that if it actually fits better if I pretend I'm playing as Cloud in drag again, and why the fuck do I need to revisit that?

The only upside to this is that Snow kinda reminds me of Laguna, and I am admittedly really gay for FFVIII.
 

KDR_11k

New member
Feb 10, 2009
1,013
0
0
Awwww, I had hoped you'd gone through all 60-what hours to really build up the bile until you look like the Great Unclean One but I guess by then the review would have consisted of the news headline "Australian goes postal in Japanese game developer's headquarters wielding three DVDs as aweapon".
 

Jared

The British Paladin
Jul 14, 2009
5,630
0
0
Hehe...I noticed the walking thing too...so loud!

And yes Vanille...yeah...lol
 

PessimistOwl

Senior Member
Jan 19, 2010
275
0
21
Toasty Virus said:
I really tried to enjoy this game, I loved all the other Final Fantasy's(Even 8) but this just didnt do it for me

Although Sahz made the bits I played worth it =D
Completely agree. The only character that I gave half a shit about was Sazh. The rest of the characters were half assed at best.

Despite the fact that I know all aboot Vanille's "secret" I still think that she is honestly retarded. Sorry but she is just "not there" in the head if ya know what I mean.

Finally, you forgot about all the origami weapons. Was I the only one that noticed that all the weapons were foldable and easy to carry? What is this some kind of new add campaign that square enix, sorry *ahem* s-enix seeing as enix has mainly just taken all of what was good in Squaresoft and made into some horrible abomination that cannot be mentioned in decent society. But seriously? "Why worry about carrying a big-ass blade around with you (cloud) and worry about you cutting your own foot off when you can fold it!"
 

CK76

New member
Sep 25, 2009
1,620
0
0
The main difference is I enjoy turn based combat and if anything Final Fantasy XIII seemed like it was made to appease people who aren't as big of fans. It's an all right game, and I did have fun playing it, but agree characters were...bit meh.
 

wadark

New member
Dec 22, 2007
397
0
0
I agree on a few bits: the fact that the game takes 2-3 hours before it gets a semblance of entertainment is terrible.

And the fact that the majority of the story is not told through the actual game but through the datalog, is asinine.

BUT, I can't help but love the game. Probably mostly because 12 was so so SO fucking unbelievably AWFUL (particularly the combat) that I can't help but like the combat.
 

Therumancer

Citation Needed
Nov 28, 2007
9,908
0
0
Hmmm, I have no major problems with the game. The lead in isn't all that bad in context.

I think the problem is that Yahtzee has a very limited skill set, all those menus, stats, target selection, abillity selection, gear customization, and other aspects are why I like RPGs. Granted I generally tend to prefer WRPGs, but JRPGs are far from being bad at it.

Now, he did have some very valid complaints about pacing, and the fact that the game was ridiculously linear. But other than that he seemed to be involved in a stereotypical JRPG hate rant. Just because he admits his bias does not fully excuse him in this case.

I doubt it will happen but I would argue that as Final Fantasy XIII is intended as a long term time investment, and was intended as one, The Escapist should have him finish it and request a more professional review. Oh granted, he'll probably still hate it, but I'd like to hear more about Final Fantasy XIII specifically and less about his opinion on a given genere (which basically comes down to immediate gratification twitchy finger games being good, providing they fall solidly into a moderate difficulty range, and RPGs and anything turn or stat based being bad).
 

tobyornottoby

New member
Jan 2, 2008
517
0
0
About Vanille:

Well yeah she actually is from space, or rather -she- is from the resident earth and the others are from space =)
 

CK76

New member
Sep 25, 2009
1,620
0
0
PessimistOwl said:
Toasty Virus said:
I really tried to enjoy this game, I loved all the other Final Fantasy's(Even 8) but this just didnt do it for me

Although Sahz made the bits I played worth it =D
Completely agree. The only character that I gave half a shit about was Sazh. The rest of the characters were half assed at best.
I kept forgetting his name so I just came to call him "Danny Glover from Lethal Weapon".
 

k-ossuburb

New member
Jul 31, 2009
1,311
0
0
Belladonnah said:
WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO VANILLE YOU MISERABLE TWAT I HOPE YOU DIE OF SQUIRREL AIDS!
Someone's taking things a little too seriously. Also, who/what the hell is "Vanille"?

OT: had to watch this just because it ripped on Final Fantasy. I had a friend in college who was gah-gah over it and would never listen to my reasons for hating the game. Not only that, she wouldn't even bother to try out something different; it was FF or nothing, which was a shame.

Oh wait, she also liked Kingdom Hearts. Pfft, like there's a difference.

Edit: never mind, I just saw who she was; the "kooky" character. In that case what exactly did he do to her? She barely played a part in it other than being a moron, which is probably accurate.
 

geldonyetich

New member
Aug 2, 2006
3,715
0
0
Oh, my, I knew when Yahtzee was going to Interview Final Fantasy XIII that it was going to be awesome because he's repeatedly expressed he hates JRPGs. This review did reveal it's more that he hates what JRPGs have become, but it nonetheless was little more than exposition for Yahtzee's discontent.

Plus, this comment thread is positively exploding. The review's only been out 2 hours and we're up to 350+ replies now.
 

Jennacide

New member
Dec 6, 2007
1,019
0
0
So happy to see someone else bash on the FF series for the same reason I've come to hate them lately, the belief that spectacle is more important than everything else.
 

tomhaigh7

New member
Mar 23, 2010
93
0
0
well alex, i have no idea but you should be doing some homework and also Final Fantasy is a good game I played it twice