Zero Punctuation: Final Fantasy XIII

Recommended Videos

mumakurau

New member
Sep 3, 2009
108
0
0
I'm about 10 hours in on my friends copy and I'm STILL waiting for the game to get good.

EDIT: Final Fantasy 6 is freakin' boss.
 

MatsVS

Tea & Grief
Nov 9, 2009
423
0
0
Therumancer said:
Now, he did have some very valid complaints about pacing, and the fact that the game was ridiculously linear.
Actually, that's not even nearly a valid complaint, seeing as linearity is a design choice. Not necessarily a choice you need to agree with, but a choice none the less. Reading just a single review of this game would also inform you of said linearity, thus rendering all ensuing complaints void of validity. It is akin to complaining of too much driving in a racing game, as in stupid. Really, really stupid.
 

Grampy_bone

New member
Mar 12, 2008
797
0
0
Ah ha! Well this finally confirms my suspicions that Yahtzee is an old-school fanboy who hates everything after his chosen installment in the series; i.e. the exact same as every other forum dwelling internet twat. But at least it means he wasn't complaining about games he didn't actually play.

His criticisms about FF13 are entirely fair however. You shouldn't have to wait 10-20 hours for your entertainment product to become fun.
 

PessimistOwl

Senior Member
Jan 19, 2010
275
0
21
blalien said:
I'm getting a slight hunch that Yahtzee is not a fan of Vanille.
OH you must of fallen asleep for that three billionth's of a second where he said "And I especially love Vanille the best, she made the entire game worth it!", at least I thought I heard it....
 

Rayansaki

New member
May 5, 2009
960
0
0
k-ossuburb said:
Belladonnah said:
WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO VANILLE YOU MISERABLE TWAT I HOPE YOU DIE OF SQUIRREL AIDS!
Someone's taking things a little too seriously. Also, who/what the hell is "Vanille"?

OT: had to watch this just because it ripped on Final Fantasy. I had a friend in college who was gah-gah over it and would never listen to my reasons for hating the game. Not only that, she wouldn't even bother to try out something different; it was FF or nothing, which was a shame.

Oh wait, she also liked Kingdom Hearts. Pfft, like there's a difference.

Edit: never mind, I just saw who she was; the "kooky" character. In that case what exactly did he do to her? She barely played a part in it other than being a moron, which is probably accurate.
It was a joke:X Vanille is the character he mutilated in the end of the episode during the credits.
 

Onyx Oblivion

Borderlands Addict. Again.
Sep 9, 2008
17,021
0
0
Aww...The combat picks up in hour 7. When paradigms become really key because they split you into groups of 2 for extended periods.
 

Samurai Goomba

New member
Oct 7, 2008
3,679
0
0
dochmbi said:
If you took Yahtzee's reviews seriously, you would play one game every 5 years.
Actually there are a lot of games he likes or kinda likes, but they don't get nearly as much attention from either himself or the Yahtzee fans as the ones he despises.

Somebody else mentioned that Yahtzee's complaints about FFXIII seem to be largely issues with JRPG cliches, and therefore his opinion is irrelevant or some such. I don't profess to know anything about that the man, but I'd like to address that here anyway:

If a game series does nothing to address the inherent flaws within its own genre and continually reuses the same ideas to its own detriment, most of the problems with said game will be of a highly unoriginal nature. For example, an FPS shooter series that keeps ripping off the Aliens/Star Wars franchises at every turn, with every installment and never stops doing this will always have the same complaints leveled at its story. This does not mean the complaints become worthless after the 500th time because they are now "cliche."

Besides, JRPGs vary wildly in gameplay and story. Persona 3 adheres to some anime cliches but purges some of the most offensive of the typical JRPG problems. Persona 4 fixed still more issues. And let's not forget the JRPG Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter, which was a survival RPG that took place entirely underground and favored the RE4 approach to inventory management.

Folks can like whatever they want, I'm just saying a "cliche" objection to a problem which tends to plague certain game genres can't be brushed off simply because it has been heard before.
 

Onyx Oblivion

Borderlands Addict. Again.
Sep 9, 2008
17,021
0
0
Samurai Goomba said:
And let's not forget the JRPG Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter, which was a survival RPG that took place entirely underground and favored the RE4 approach to inventory management..
That got horrid reviews for NOT living up to the cliches.

*goes to buy it*
 

tobyornottoby

New member
Jan 2, 2008
517
0
0
Suskie said:
I agree. I don't hate FFVII or anything, but I am a bit sick of people saying it's literally the best game ever made when there are so many things obviously wrong with it. I kinda think it would take a Yahtzee review to finally knock some common sense into some of these people. (And that was going to sound like a flame no matter how I worded it, so whatever.)
A turd with a flag on top is still a turd, of course you couldn't word it better because it keeps being utter bullshit =)
 

Autocracy

New member
Feb 25, 2009
28
0
0
One thing I have to absolutely agree with is "it gets better twenty hours in" is not a valid point. It's a flimsy excuse designed to, more than anything, to reassure and justify a purchase that a person was uncertain about.

It's like. . . beer. I know some people like beer but I don't. I hate the stuff. I'll throw back whiskey or sake or whatever but beer? No. I'm told you have to acquire the taste, that you have to get use to it or something. Why? If I didn't like it the first few sips or the first whole bottle, why should I revisit with the promise that it "gets better"?

I can understand if a game starts slow. It happens. You have to wait an hour, maybe, for it to pick up. Maybe two. Three at most but if it takes any more than that? It's ridiculous. More so that Final Fantasy 13 is so linear. It ends up being one long corridor. The game may as well be just ten hours long with a few fights, some story, and a lot of cinematics. And a friend of mine asked "why isn't this just a movie".

I like the game just fine but I don't disagree with the flaws that Yahtzee pointed out.
 

Virtual_Dom

New member
Jul 3, 2009
246
0
0
hoping for God of War 3 but oh well.
LMAO at its about as well paced as an ant pusing a brick across a desert.
 

Mirroga

New member
Jun 6, 2009
1,119
0
0
blalien said:
I'm getting a slight hunch that Yahtzee is not a fan of Vanille.
Who the fuck is a fan of Vanille, besides those gamers who think mindless, kooky, underaged girls with no visible contribution to the storyline are cute and thinks they're comic relief. They're not comic relief, they're annoying and more of a joke. The only thing I see from the "Kooky spices" are as further bait to satisfy the hungers of perverted fan-artists.

If you are a fan of Vanille or will otherwise prove me wrong in some fashion, I have no reason to respond back because this is what I consider as fact. I do not want fillers/filler characters in my games or in my animes. Also, if there's some good explanation as to why she acts like that, then please reply back as to how she also contributes heavily to the storyline outside gameplay.
 

Rayjay06

New member
May 13, 2009
58
0
0
Samurai Goomba said:
dochmbi said:
If you took Yahtzee's reviews seriously, you would play one game every 5 years.
If a game series does nothing to address the inherent flaws within its own genre and continually reuses the same ideas to its own detriment, most of the problems with said game will be of a highly unoriginal nature... Folks can like whatever they want, I'm just saying a "cliche" objection to a problem which tends to plague certain game genres can't be brushed off simply because it has been heard before.
My sentiments exactly, QFT since you beat me to the punch. To add to it, the typical JRPG genre flaws were widely established by earlier iterations of the FF series. Therefore a game is not only avoiding flaws in its own genre, but in its own series. That, my friends, is a real shame.
 

Autocracy

New member
Feb 25, 2009
28
0
0
Samurai Goomba said:
dochmbi said:
If you took Yahtzee's reviews seriously, you would play one game every 5 years.
Actually there are a lot of games he likes or kinda likes, but they don't get nearly as much attention from either himself or the Yahtzee fans as the ones he despises.

Somebody else mentioned that Yahtzee's complaints about FFXIII seem to be largely issues with JRPG cliches, and therefore his opinion is irrelevant or some such. I don't profess to know anything about that the man, but I'd like to address that here anyway:

If a game series does nothing to address the inherent flaws within its own genre and continually reuses the same ideas to its own detriment, most of the problems with said game will be of a highly unoriginal nature. For example, an FPS shooter series that keeps ripping off the Aliens/Star Wars franchises at every turn, with every installment and never stops doing this will always have the same complaints leveled at its story. This does not mean the complaints become worthless after the 500th time because they are now "cliche."

Besides, JRPGs vary wildly in gameplay and story. Persona 3 adheres to some anime cliches but purges some of the most offensive of the typical JRPG problems. Persona 4 fixed still more issues. And let's not forget the JRPG Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter, which was a survival RPG that took place entirely underground and favored the RE4 approach to inventory management.

Folks can like whatever they want, I'm just saying a "cliche" objection to a problem which tends to plague certain game genres can't be brushed off simply because it has been heard before.
High five.
 

Autocracy

New member
Feb 25, 2009
28
0
0
Grey_Focks said:
comet5002 said:
CITIZEN SNIPSSSSSSSSSSSS!
wait, wait, wait. you liked Zell? Really? not gonna lie, I find this disturbing.


OT: Actually agree with yahtzee for once. I too haven't liked a Final Fantasy since 6. Ever since 7 it really has been more about the spectacle and "pushing the visual limits" instead of making a good game and writing a good story. 8 and 10 in particular had some of the worst story/writing in any game I've played in ages, though they did look pretty for when they were released.
I'm going to dissent and say I actually liked Final Fantasy 7, 8, and 10. I don't claim they are the greatest thing since sliced bread but I do enjoy them. Emo or no Emo. I am, of course, against the remaking of Final Fantasy 7 because I see that as a terrible idea. No one fan group will ever be pleased with it and I fear the hype will be so great that any credibility will be destroyed when it doesn't meet it.