Zero Punctuation: Gears of War 2

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Gears of War 2

This week Zero Punctuation reviews Gears of War 2, but only for all you big manly men.

Watch Video
 

Volucer

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Loved it. I just got it over the weekend, and I've got to say that although I can see everything good about the game, I just can't seem to enjoy it. Also I'm suprised nothing was said about
how well your armour protects you from falls in the final act. You fall from a platform, cage and house and survive completely unschated
 

Speccr

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I lol'd. That was awesome.

EDIT: Whats up with all the losers posting before they watch it? Wow..
 

LesIsMore

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Finally, a brief mention of Gears of War 2! Can't say I'm surprised to see he (sort of) liked it - in its previous E3 and award show mentions images seemed to be a bit more supportive of it than other titles. And really, Gears of War is nothing more than what it is and it's comforting to see that Yahtzee recognizes this.

And I love the fact he felt the need to defend last week's FarCry 2 accent.

So he's worked through his promised backlog - wonder what comes next?
 

Avida

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Wow, this one was almost a return to form IMO, he really needs to stop reusing certain gags though, the triple cunted hooker in particular is getting a bit old. Also HAHAHA at all those banned above me.
 

Angrywyvern

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Yeah, I didn't like Gears of War 2 that much, I was kind of bored through most of it, I don't know why though.

I loved the bit about the chest high walls, lol.
 

Lucane

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I wondered why he did the voice in the last one thought he might of lost a bet or something clearly not the case.

Sigh, why is it shooters and stories rarely get along well.
Edited
 

Clairaudient

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keyper159 said:
cool new video but why are so many people banned for those posts??
They posted their "lolllzlz I LOVE YTAHAZEEE" before they could have even finished watching the actual video. The video was up around noon, lasted 5 minutes and there's people commenting on it by 12:01
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Wow, that is some fast banning. 8 users in 8 minutes.
Haha, I lots of chest high walls in this game. Hey the triple cunted hooker is back!
Great review Yahtzee, didn't make me laugh as much as the others though.
EDIT: Huh, I just noticed Yahtzee did a shout out to all the people who didn't know he was doing a south African accent :p
 

lacktheknack

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Jan 19, 2009
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They're banned because they replied before actually watching the video.

Which was awesome, by the way!
 

Baby Tea

Just Ask Frankie
Sep 18, 2008
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keyper159 said:
cool new video but why are so many people banned for those posts??
Because they are posting before it's even possible to have watched the movie. Therefore it's a pointless post when you're saying 'That was awesome!' (See past tense) when you haven't even watched it yet.

On topic, I was surprised he was so nice to the game! I figured he'd be pretty harsh!
Not too shabby.
 

PhiMed

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Best review in a while. Not only did he engage in constructive criticism, but he succeeded for the first time in month in making me laugh out loud.
"Sometimes popular things are popular for a reason. Because they're good... or because Will Smith is in it." HAHAHAHA
 

Spinwhiz

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Clairaudient said:
keyper159 said:
cool new video but why are so many people banned for those posts??
They posted their "lolllzlz I LOVE YTAHAZEEE" before they could have even finished watching the actual video. The video was up around noon, lasted 5 minutes and there's people commenting on it by 12:01
*nods and shines hammer*
 

Spacewolf

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i love it when the first 9 people are just intantly suspeneded, yea that reveiw was pretty good as it covered most of what gears 2 is, its gears one part two rather than a whole new game.
 

BrainedbySaucepans

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lol, loved this game, but as usual. yahtzee has managed to pinpoint all the things that ARE bad about it, especially the AI; seriously, the number of time's I've bled out while Dom happily stands on my head is ridiculous.
 

anti_strunt

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Wee, in before the second page.

Too bad he never did GoW 1; would've been fun for comparisons sake...
 

Taranoleion

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I love how the stupid AI is always made fun of, and it's done in the most hilarious way.
"... the frustrating kind of dodgy, where they fail to notice that your lungs are poking out of your ears, so you have to crawl over to where they're hiding and then they run away because a sparrow farted next to their head and then you die and have to start the encounter all over again..."
After I saw the sparrow saying "sorry" I laughed for about 3 minutes. xD
 

Zayus

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Will smith? wth xD

I like gears and gears 2 for the shear good gameplay. The story dose not mather as long as you can chainsaw som random creature in two to show of your awsome manlyness.
 

D_987

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Wow, Yahtzee actually liked it...very true with the whole "Chest high walls" part, I never thought about it like that.
 

Lucane

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Deleted by myself becuase it was said about six times or so already and also right after this post.
 
Feb 13, 2008
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keyper159 said:
cool new video but why are so many people banned for those posts??
It takes about 5 minutes to watch the video. Anyone trying for a first post gets the banhammer, and you can see why.
 

Clairaudient

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Spinwhiz said:
*nods and shines hammer*
Hey Spin, I just just received my prize for the 'Easiest WoW' contest ever this morning. Says it cost 45$ in shipping? That's a bit steep for me doing nothing to earn it (plus the cost of the prize itself!).

The_root_of_all_evil said:
keyper159 said:
cool new video but why are so many people banned for those posts??
It takes about 5 minutes to watch the video. Anyone trying for a first post gets the banhammer, and you can see why.
I think you got ninja'd on this one root. =P
 

excessum ado

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This one has been the funniest one in quite a while. I havent laughed alot at a few of the more recent installments but this one was spot on.
 

Ultimateslayer

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I really enjoyed the return of the triple cunted hooker (that was the weirdest sentence I ever wrote my entire life) but i agree that the accent last week was pretty odd.
 

Undead Dragon King

Evil Spacefaring Mantis
Apr 25, 2008
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Awesome bannage.

I never really jumped onto the GOW train. I tried playing a couple odd levels at a friend's house and didn't find the game that appealing. Great review Yahtzee.
 

BlueInkAlchemist

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Jun 4, 2008
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A return to the flippity glombo spletch. Seriously, this feels a lot more like a legitimate review than four minutes of hilarious cynical ragging. I had a feeling he was going to dislike it based solely on the big tough "space marines" in ridiculous suits of powered armor fighting waves of monsters who are monstrously thick, but what I didn't expect were the more subtle gay jokes (in comparison to, say, Army of Two), Freud (FNARR FNARR made me laugh) and Will Smith.

And even if Cliffy B got a big "Fuck You," I'm sure Yahtzee still considers him an extremely sexy man.

Very good, quite funny, will watch again.
 

Optimystic

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D_987 said:
Wow, Yahtzee actually liked it...very true with the whole "Chest high walls" part, I never thought about it like that.
Of course he liked it, it's an amazing game!

Hilarious as always, keep it up.

EDIT: And Will Smith makes EVERYTHING better!
 

Spinwhiz

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Clairaudient said:
Spinwhiz said:
*nods and shines hammer*
Hey Spin, I just just received my prize for the 'Easiest WoW' contest ever this morning. Says it cost 45$ in shipping? That's a bit steep for me doing nothing to earn it (plus the cost of the prize itself!).

The_root_of_all_evil said:
keyper159 said:
cool new video but why are so many people banned for those posts??
It takes about 5 minutes to watch the video. Anyone trying for a first post gets the banhammer, and you can see why.
I think you got ninja'd on this one root. =P
Yeah well, we like our community, so we hook you guys up. :)
 

Lucane

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TheHecatomb said:
Lucane said:
I wondered why he did the voice in the last one thought he might of lost a bet or something clearing not the case.
You are thick.
Oh heh heh I ment clearly instead of clearing. I never would of gotten the bad South African thing his Austrailian rang out more to me than that did.

Or did I miss something else too?
 

ghostgnome

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2 eggs, toast, and a heaping helping of Zero Punctuation to start my day.

The review was really funny. I can't wait to see what you have in store for next week
 

johnman

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Exactly what i thought about it.
Been waiting for this for ages, and loved will smith reference.
 

Brokkr

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Very amusing. He is definitely liking more games these days. I also found it amusing that he explained what he was trying to do with last weeks accent.
 

Alyten

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absolutely brilliant!

the last line about the accent made me laugh soooo hard ^-^
 

Lanowar

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I liked Gears 2 on the gameplay side; sure it's weird there are chest high walls all over the place but at the same time if it's the game's selling point why not. The combat, shooting, reloading and the focus on working as a team in multiplayer and Horde modes are pulled off really well.

The plot on the other hand simply falls apart the moment you escape the giant worm. Your thrusted back into the Locust's base and then you decide to do what they are planning to do and rather try to simply let you do it, the Locust try to stop you and sacrifice there troops in the process. Also the ending is more or less the ending of the first one. That is the story to Gears of War 2 it has some good moments though and on the whole is a stronger story then say Halo 3 which was simply schizo about the tone of said story and how it wanted to pull off the plot.

As for the video? It felt like a series of jokes I've heard a million times before since say Gears 1 came out in 06. Not to say he didn't hit the nail on the head but I've also heard other people say the same and convey the same feelings across. I am suprised he didn't have a dig at Cole who seems to stand out as a very cartooney character and what happens when Dom finds his Wife.

...Also I am still unable to figure out why people are confused over the bad south african accent in the Farcry 2 review.
 

Vlane

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I liked the "exchange the penis for a minigun" part and it was actually pretty funny.
 

CJ1145

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Loved the review and distinct lack of bad accents, one of your best in a while.

I get this strange vibe about your Marcus and Dom that just screams "recurring characters". I can only pray that this is true.
 

LesIsMore

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anti_strunt said:
Will Smith takes your mainstream and makes it better.
And he also makes white people feel better about themselves: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/21/14-having-black-friends/
 

Cheesebob

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I loved it :D

I wonder...who would win in a fight of homoerticism, The guys from GoW 2 or army of 2?
 

AceDiamond

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Lanowar said:
...Also I am still unable to figure out why people are confused over the bad south african accent in the Farcry 2 review.
People are stupid. (yes that's the answer I'm going with since I knew what he was going for last week without having to ponder "oh is he doing a South African accent, then?")

Anyway I have to agree that a lot of what he said about Gears 2 is what people have been saying in general (myself included, minus all the positive bits) but at the same time collusion on what isn't good about something isn't a bad thing. But on another note I find it odd that Yahtzee praises a title for being mainstream while at the same time his larger mainstream example (Halo) was frequently used as the target scapegoat for everything wrong with FPS games these days.

Then again contradictory statements aren't new from him (and opinions do change over time) so I sorta just forgot about that after he inserted the "I wish there was an award for Most Pretentious Trailer" zinger in the credits.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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"So often it's quicker to just trudge right up to the enemies, soaking up all the damage, and carve them up with your absurdly over-compensatory chainsaw gun."

Someone was playing on the easiest difficulty in the game. Both Hardcore and Insane mode would like a word with you.
 

anti_strunt

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LesIsMore said:
anti_strunt said:
Will Smith takes your mainstream and makes it better.
And he also makes white people feel better about themselves: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/21/14-having-black-friends/
He's like the Mutual Black Friend of all white people everywhere.
He's just an all-round great guy like that.
 

anti_strunt

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verd said:
"So often it's quicker to just trudge right up to the enemies, soaking up all the damage, and carve them up with your absurdly over-compensatory chainsaw gun."

Someone was playing on the easiest difficulty in the game. Both Hardcore and Insane mode would like a word with you.
Yeah, he does tend to do that... (...and can still manage to complain about the game being difficult...)
 

Chieffw

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Wow, a truly objective review of something main stream :O This is why I have ZP bookmarked. Yahtzee clearly presented its flaws, and then presented its good sides in a completely professional manner....YOU ARE GOD! MAY I HAVE YOUR BABIES??
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Yahtzee pretty much nails the game for what it is with this review, i don't think the AI was as bad as he claimed, but it is true that they often did not help you when they should have.
 

ikari_matt

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heheh funny ill admit its been a while yahtzee has liked a game ,cant wait what else awaits this year ^^
 

UltraBlumpkin

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Good timing for this video! As of yesterday, the Gold Plated Lancer is now available free for download on the XBL Marketplace! I doubt Yahtzee would approve of it, but here's the link if you want to queue it, or just search for it from your 360!

http://marketplace.xbox.com/en-US/games/media/66acd000-77fe-1000-9115-d8024d53082d/?p=1&of=6&sb=1&did=0ccf0001-0000-4000-8000-00004d53082d
 

rockchild17

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I think Gears of war 2 succeeds where games like it that yahtzee lampoons fail becuase of the fact that cliffy B is excactly the demographic that these games are made for. he just also happens to be a great game designer and have good articulation.

my friend got to hang out with Cliffy B. apparently apparently they just talked about Cliffy's new tattoo: a cog from gears shown ripping out of his skin. it is people like that who Gears of War are made for.
 

ZenNz29

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Loved it Yahtzee....been looking forward to this review for a while now...although you did bash the little things, I'm happy you did like it...but there is one thing that bugged me in it....the whole storyline thing not going anywhere and the broken story.....if you read the book that takes place in between games 1 and 2, you get a TON of backstory and realize why things are they way they are.

Granted, I can understand that you should get the story from the game without having to read the book....however, after I read the book (by the way, it's not that long), I got a real sense of the world that the COG live in, and had so much more fun playing both games again


Nonetheless, another great review...and by the way, I know you get paid for doing these reviews, but I dont think anyone's ever thanked you for them...It gives us gamers something to watch and laugh that relates to us....Thanks, and keep 'em coming!
 

Odoylerules360

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Aug 29, 2008
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the chest-high-walls were glaringly obvious in the first one too.
I like active reloading, even though it is a QTE.

And it's good to see people getting banned for commenting before they watch the video.
 

Jursa

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Damn this weeks banhammer had a good workout... Yahtzee seemed to have this I have to hate it, but I just can't voice this week and that gave it the spice it needed to make my day. It's good to remember that if you shut down half your brain when you play this game it's actually amazing...
 

Lord Doom

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I thought Yahtzee would comment on his accent in the last video. As for the plot of this game, I think they going with the fact troops are given orders and that they are rarely explained for what reason or something like that and that not everything in life is explained when to your average person when he encounters something new in the world. You are suppose to be a random solider no one really gives a damn about. Although, Gears 3 better have you charge into general's or whoever the head guy is of COG, chainsaw a leg off on get him to explain everything and the last Carmine better do something badass when he dies like taking out 10 Brumaks and an army of Berserkers. The Carmine in this game was a character not a red shirt. The worm deserved to be carved from the inside out. AVENGE CARMINE! MAKE THE LOCUST SUFFER!
 

ZenNz29

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Not sure of the author's relationship to the game, but it was pretty good...like I said before, tons of backstory
 

not_tragedi

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I love that for all the incredibly well-thought out and complex games he enjoys Yahtzee can praise the glories of plain ol' bloodshed, biceps/triceps/abs and BFGs for the fact that they are fun.
 

Trucken

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"Plus, there aren't any quicktime-events. Oh, wait, actually there is one. A little one. I guess that means I have to hate it then. Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck you, Cliffy B!"

I giggled like a schoolgirl from this sentence. Great and hilarious review as always. The thing about Dom's wife was deliciously evil and entertaining.
 

Abedeus

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People still try to post 30 seconds after someone posts a video? Dear Lord. And why not ban them? Only suspend? :/

Anyway, if Yahtzee likes GoW 2, than it's not really worse than GoW. Which I never got to finish, because every time I got to Act IV, the game went PEW PEW SORREY NO SAVVED GAME START AGAIN JA? on my ass.

Also, I wish GoW 2 was on PC. I don't get it - they are trying to get money by forcing Gears for Win... I'm sorry, Games for Windows in every bloody major release (Fallout 3/Dawn of War 2), yet they don't want to get game porter to Windows?

That's like we're in Bizarro world, where Microsoft is fighting for rainforests and Bono is a cat-eating bastard.
 

Dread_Reaper

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I am surprised that he didn't catch the significance of the whole "mutant super soldier" thing in the lab. Kind of makes me think he just ran through it without listening to any cut scenes or finding any of those ubiquitous lab reports strewn about the place.

Oh well, it will be funny to see him eat his words when its all explained in Gears of War 3.

-Dread_Reaper
 

Zand88

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rockchild17 said:
I think Gears of war 2 succeeds where games like it that yahtzee lampoons fail becuase of the fact that cliffy B is excactly the demographic that these games are made for. he just also happens to be a great game designer and have good articulation.

my friend got to hang out with Cliffy B. apparently apparently they just talked about Cliffy's new tattoo: a cog from gears shown ripping out of his skin. it is people like that who Gears of War are made for.
Hahaha.
 

VaioStreams

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Abedeus said:
People still try to post 30 seconds after someone posts a video? Dear Lord. And why not ban them? Only suspend? :/

Anyway, if Yahtzee likes GoW 2, than it's not really worse than GoW. Which I never got to finish, because every time I got to Act IV, the game went PEW PEW SORREY NO SAVVED GAME START AGAIN JA? on my ass.

Also, I wish GoW 2 was on PC. I don't get it - they are trying to get money by forcing Gears for Win... I'm sorry, Games for Windows in every bloody major release (Fallout 3/Dawn of War 2), yet they don't want to get game porter to Windows?

That's like we're in Bizarro world, where Microsoft is fighting for rainforests and Bono is a cat-eating bastard.
what's funnier about this whole GoW2 not on Games for windows and microsoft basically delaying it is they will make more money if they release it for GFW.

my 360 died and i just can't be bothered to have a 5th one. i'm really cross with the 360 right now. but i do partly agree with him on mainstream games. some of them are good. but i'm getting tired of it. i liked back in the PS2 days when original IPs were coming out. something different. when stories were properly flushed out. but with the rise of casual and mainstream games. the quility of games has gone down. a lot of the younger kids or people just getting into gaming wouldn't know this. but this generation as far as games goes has kinda been a let down. I'll never own the number of games for the 360 or PS3 that i own for the PS2 combined
 

DoomBlackDragon

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Great video. I have not played GW2 or one for that matter many cause it on Xbox only. You review give alot of detials about the game. Seems odd of a game that could make you undecide if you hate it or like it. I still like the 75% retard comment. Sill I think you being a bit nice. Haha I would have gone to at less 90% or more.
 

Archaon6044

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it must just be me, but whenever i did single player, if i got stunned, i was instantly dead, with no chance of being revived by my AI team mates, but when i did multi co-op with a friend they seemed to crowd around me and get in the way, just so they could be there to pick me up.

the video was good, and pretty much said it all. when you think about some of this shit it's quite obvious, and you wonder how you missed it. like the chest-high walls gag. they're everywhere, but you just say "yup" and keep on with it
 

domicius

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Lord Doom said:
I thought Yahtzee would comment on his accent in the last video.
He does, in the comment on the last "credit" screen.

Also, isn't there some kinda badge for being suspended?
 

dssturn

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A well-rounded review. I talked to a friend who plays GoW2 incessantly and he also thought the wife subplot was annoying and unnecessary.
 

KeithA45

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hilarious as always, Yahtzee. To be honest, I was hoping for more game reviewing than game rediculing, but in this it fit and was worth it anyway
 

chaos666

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As always nice review, full of laughs and good points about the game. All in all Gears of War 2 is a good game just not as good as they hyped it up to be (in my opinion anyway). Don't get me wrong I still liked. Don't suppose you can can do a Resistance 2 review, or Call of Duty world at War, please pretty please.
 

Dean Reilly

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Loved it. Wondering how many students are going to make references to chest high walls in my classes tomorrow. Also, part of me hopes that some innocent wee gamer is going to watch that and think that games really *are* developed by blokes locked in cupboards.
 

Breno

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haha so funney :ull get kicked so hard that ur balls will come out of ur ears laughed my arse off there

but in my opinon gears is really boring i mean could forgive it others things like id still buy it but i would recomned it to a friend unless there brain is like the ai in gears lol i dont it like because its just the same thing over and over agein fire fire fire cover cover cover thats all i mean in most shooters the enemi after a period of time will come up to u and force u to get out of there in gear ur just in cover all the time fireing at the same spot in till they die also as yatzee said its to set up for u (chest high walls)
 

Cid Silverwing

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Jul 27, 2008
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Just for once I'd like to see a ZP video that doesn't suffer 5+ first-posters who get insta-suspended.

And GOW = Halo.
 

Neonbob

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Dec 22, 2008
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That was great! Chest high walls dropping from the ceiling, wearing half a car, and the moronic AI during revivals were dead on! Although I do have to say that the lab level does explain why there are giant insane thingies trying to kill you.
But what about the craptastic boss fights? After the ones in Gears 1, I was hoping for much more than the gimmick/repeat method of killing giant things.
 

Avatar Roku

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Bored Tomatoe said:
My god, he actually gave some good points to a game as well as bashing it...
Oh no, the world is ending! Run!!
PhiMed said:
Best review in a while. Not only did he engage in constructive criticism, but he succeeded for the first time in month in making me laugh out loud.
"Sometimes popular things are popular for a reason. Because they're good... or because Will Smith is in it." HAHAHAHA
I know. That particular statement is the first thing in a long, long time that Yahtzee's said that I fully agree with.
Odoylerules360 said:
And it's good to see people getting banned for commenting before they watch the video.
Not really. We were finally getting the number of ZP banees down, I was thinking maybe the trolls learned their lessons. Oh well.
 

Russian_Assassin

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Whoever said that Yahtzee isn't funny anymore can go jump off a cliff! I fucking love every single episode and this one is no exception. I literally pissed myself when he said that joke with the little farting bird :D Hoo-bloody-ray for Yahtzee!
 

Erana

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orannis62 said:
Odoylerules360 said:
And it's good to see people getting banned for commenting before they watch the video.
Not really. We were finally getting the number of ZP banees down, I was thinking maybe the trolls learned their lessons. Oh well.
Do you think the ZP fanbase has leveled off yet?
I can't quite figure out how there are always soo many banees every video...
 

willard3

New member
Aug 19, 2008
1,042
0
0
This is one of those lovely gems in which I agree with almost everything he says. I got Gears 1, returned it after beating it and got Gears 2 with the money from returning it, beat it, returned it and probably ended up MAKING money.

That being said, the campaigns were fun though the story was very very lacking and some sequences got frustrating, especially those split-up ones from Gears 1. But it didn't really have lasting appeal to me. I only wish Yahtzee had ventured into the buggy, cheater- and hacker-filled mess that is Gears 2 multiplayer.
 

Peace Frog

New member
May 31, 2008
122
0
0
I can't believe the first posters thought no one would notice them claiming to have watched it in under a minute.

Hmmm.. Yahtzee liked a game... I must get it.
 

mew4ever23

New member
Mar 21, 2008
818
0
0
Yet more NPCs with the stupid virus, Is that what you were trying to say Yahtzee?
Also, an epidemic of chest high walls that doesn't transition to well?

All and all, very funny.
 

Hamster at Dawn

It's Hazard Time!
Mar 19, 2008
1,650
0
0
This review reflects my thoughts on the game exactly. Even with all its flaws, Gears of War 2 is an enjoyable game. I personally only play in coop though because, as mentioned, the AI is useless and will sometimes run out and get killed thus forcing you to reload a checkpoint.
 

Optimystic

New member
Sep 24, 2008
723
0
0
Cheesebob said:
I loved it :D

I wonder...who would win in a fight of homoerticism, The guys from GoW 2 or army of 2?
I'd have to say Ao2, the Gears guys don't share parachutes. It's also much clearer with the Army guys who the, uh... catcher and pitcher would be >.>
 

Grand_Poohbah

New member
Nov 29, 2008
788
0
0
I'm quite surprised. I figured you'd have nothing but hate for it. Well entertaining review, summed it up quite nicely =].
 

Russian Redneck

New member
Apr 21, 2008
190
0
0
I'll take the, "Does so much right that you can't help but respect it" bit as, "It pulls off everything within it's homogeneitous background so well that it's a league above its contemporaries" or something like that. Basically, does the same thing but does it so well while adding a few new touches that it rises above the competition.
 

MichaelMaverick

New member
Jan 28, 2009
65
0
0
I lately find that I'm progressively less and less eager to watch Yahtzee's videos, partially because of a faint impression that he's kind of lost his touch since the last 4 entires or so, but mostly because the reviews, as good as they may be, no longer overshadow the notion of having to wait for an hour - no, literary for an hour - until the video LOADS.

I've been aware that the server's on crack for a while now - sometimes I can watch rows of ZPs without having to wait at all, but more often than not (oh, let's say, 85% of the time), my computer struggles with just ONE. I've seen several other people having the same problem as well. I've only interest in ZP and not the Escapist site as a whole (which is mainly why I'm posting this here), but I suggest somebody try to do something with this, as it gets strongly annoying after a while.

As in, like having to remove the tiny bodies of smeared BATS from the windshield of your car every time you want to take it out for a ride during the night.

(For the record, been trying to get the video to run for about two hours now and it still doesn't work by the time I'm typing this.)

(For quite another record, as advanced as I may be for a student, English is not my native language. Just saying so ahead for all the die-hard Yahtzee fans who'd commonly not hesitate for a moment to resort to flaming me via ridiculing my grammar.)
 

Ryuzaki

The Public Face of L
Nov 5, 2008
199
0
0
Great video, the bit about the chest high walls had me in stitches. I really liked this game, mainly due to the co-op mode. The cover system is what sets this FPS out from other shooters and in the harder settings you do need it. Also there is nothing more satisfing in this game than going to town with the sniper rifle.

Looking forward to next weeks video.
 

jacobschndr

New member
Aug 15, 2008
580
0
0
good video
Although I have to say I liked gears of war 1 and 2. Gears of war to me is like what painkiller is to Yahtzee mindless, cathartic, (sp) violent fun. So in many ways I disagree with him on his review (even though he did say there were somethings likable). And yeah things like the story are no where to be found, or the other charaters are really annoying, like Dom and Cole.

And theres somehting I wanna get off my chest right now...

It should be apparrent to anyone that you shouldn't judge every new game that comes out as innovative and original because most are not. This will just drive your expectations down into ground. So when I listen to reivews like Yahtzee's I see that he still gets worked up about how it's the same old game and story, big human tanks against stupid alien cridders. And for the most part it's just plain boring. I get it no one makes anything original anymore, like Beyond good and Evil, or Portal etc. It gets on my nerves too.

But hey every once in while it's nice to see the same-old-same-old game redune and made to be totally fun.
 

Ryuzaki

The Public Face of L
Nov 5, 2008
199
0
0
MichaelMaverick said:
I lately find that I'm progressively less and less eager to watch Yahtzee's videos, partially because of a faint impression that he's kind of lost his touch since the last 4 entires or so, but mostly because the reviews, as good as they may be, no longer overshadow the notion of having to wait for an hour - no, literary for an hour - until the video LOADS.
This is something I have experienced on this site as well recently, though clearly to a lesser extent than you (2 hours!) and mainly on longer videos like the escapist show. I think it is to do with the new video player they put onto the site. I don't think it has anything to do with the server however as when I try to watch these videos on a more up to date computer they start almost immediately, so its more likely down to internet connection and type of computer not being able to stream the video fast enough.
 

Dragon_Nexus

New member
Jul 17, 2008
45
0
0
Honestly surprised to see this one. I was trying to guess what he'd do and I dismissed this out of hand. Glad to be wrong =)

I always find Yahtzee funny, but this is one of the rare times I've laughed from beginning to end. Hard to stop long enough so I can actually HEAR it XD
 

Miral

Random Lurker
Jun 6, 2008
435
0
0
Lucane said:
Oh heh heh I ment clearly instead of clearing. I never would of gotten the bad South African thing his Austrailian rang out more to me than that did.

Or did I miss something else too?
You mean like how the first time he used it he mentioned that it was a South African accent and that he was making fun of it? Yes, perhaps you did miss something.

domicius said:
Also, isn't there some kinda badge for being suspended?
There's a badge for *not* being suspended for a while...
 

WaffleGod

New member
Oct 22, 2008
217
0
0
"Plus there aren't any quick time events. Ow wait, actually there is one. A little one, I guess that means I have to hate it then. Yeah, let's go with that! Fuck You cliffyB!"

Soo funny :)

Aswell as the "chest high walls" part :p
 

AnonymousBosch

New member
Jan 28, 2009
3
0
0
I assume the repeated references to Wifey McSobsalot are deliberately in your face so that even the slow kids at the back of the class, (and on the moon), will realise that these guys aren't running around in some 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell, But Bend Over Big Boy' fantasy after all. This allows them to enjoy the wholesale slaughter of alien races without worrying that Dom is more interested in finding uncomfortable places to stash his minigun of the Marcus bung-related variety.

Still, you must admit, the appearance of bum-high walls into the battlefield would add another strategic element to game play.

I'd be all for Homoeroticism (1) if it would add a much-needed layer of Anything-That-Could-Be-Read-As-Subtext into the game. And no, pretentious slow motion videos set to acoustic versions of 80's songs (2) do not count, especially if you keep expecting Marcus to start mouthing 'Frodo......', (and, seriously, as much as I loathed the 'Ironic' Pop-Punk 80's cover version that was de rigeur for 90's bands, the 00's Hipster Musician Prentious 80's Cover Version is a far worse beast indeed).

(1) The guys in 'Army Of Two' are simply acting in a way that 11 year old boys think is 'cool', therefore they're not Gay, they're Ghey.

(2) It would have been much funnier if it had been 'Smalltown Boy' by Bronski Beat.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

New member
Aug 8, 2007
11,049
0
0
Volucer said:
Loved it. I just got it over the weekend, and I've got to say that although I can see everything good about the game, I just can't seem to enjoy it. Also I'm suprised nothing was said about
how well your armour protects you from falls in the final act. You fall from a platform, cage and house and survive completely unschated
I think that may be too veg to actually count as a spoiler, What surprised me is that he didn't really rip into the tank segment. Whoever decided aiming should steer was drunk and wanted the driving to reflect it,
 

Jetbaby

New member
Jan 28, 2009
64
0
0
Always look forward to a new ZP. Nice to see a positive review, as well.

Dumb question: any chance he'll review Little Big Planet, or is that too twee and precious for his sensibilities?
 

geldonyetich

New member
Aug 2, 2006
3,715
0
0
I like how Yahtzee was pretty clear this time around.

Not only did he clarify for us poor fools that, yes, was he kidding about that accent last time, he also said clearly in the beginning and the end that Gears of War 2 was, "Good" before his usual bout of entertaining nitpicking.

If he did that in every review (or when doing a "Game of the Year" feature) maybe we'd stop thinking he was such a bitter, jaded man he can't enjoy anything.

I'd be the first to admit that people in general are quite thick and mockworthy, but give them enough credit not to expect them to be mind readers too.
 

goggzilla

New member
Jan 28, 2009
13
0
0
i gotta defend 2 things:

1. the way the whole Don's wife thing ends up isn't mentioned, and i think that was a pretty strong moment in the game.

2. the whole bit about running around the old army research base i'd think its pretty safe to guess that that is where the locus come from (i.e. they were created by us) and will be fleshed out in the 3rd and final game.

Still a funny review as always and it does point out some of the games problems.
 

Clemenstation

New member
Dec 9, 2008
414
0
0
Hamster at Dawn said:
This review reflects my thoughts on the game exactly. Even with all its flaws, Gears of War 2 is an enjoyable game. I personally only play in coop though because, as mentioned, the AI is useless and will sometimes run out and get killed thus forcing you to reload a checkpoint.
See I didn't really 'get' this part. I never found the A.I. to be terrible or nonsensical (compared to other squad-y shooter games). I suppose I got a little pissed off at how Dom would charge into the middle of battle and get downed right away, but as long as it had little bearing on my own side of the fight I didn't much care. And if I went down, they always picked me up pronto.

If you play co-op, though, and then return to that savegame later in single player, Dom will still be equipped with whatever weapon your co-op guy was last using. In my case it was the boomshot, and Dom developed a disturbingly suicidal track record with that thing. Firing it point-blank into the waist-high walls and so forth.

Uh... so maybe Yahtzee was right.
 

legolas23

New member
Jul 21, 2004
83
0
0
The bit that had me in stitches was:

Tv: Shoot these guys.

Yahtzee: Why?

Tv: They look weird.

Yahtzee: Fair enough.

I was surprised because, like many others, I thought he'd do nothing but bash the game at every end...Nice to see he balanced it out.
 

Fightgarr

Concept Artist
Dec 3, 2008
2,913
0
0
Woo, Will Smith!
Again, glad to see some review elements, but not quite back up to the actual review standard of early-mid 2008.
 

hippo24

New member
Apr 29, 2008
702
0
0
I couldn't agree more with this review.
GOW had a bad, cliched, and inconsistent plot, but it was so fun to play that it was still an overall good game.

Its also nice to see him have a definitive statement on his opinions, rather then the dodgy rants that he has been going on lately.
 

the farkinator

New member
Nov 6, 2008
23
0
0
I really loved this game, and it really made me laugh a whole lot more than many of his later works perhaps due to nostalgia factor.

Oh and nice crack on Will Smith at the end there
=)
 

RTR

New member
Mar 22, 2008
1,351
0
0
Yay! The triple-cunted hooker is back. This was definetely funnier than last week. BTW, Yahtzee's right. Will Smith is a walking ball of charisma. He can make almost anything popular.
This has to be the first review where I have no idea what was Yahtzee's recommendation about the game.
 

-bladerunner-

New member
Dec 22, 2008
302
0
0
I loved the game overall but somehow yet again you twist my arm and make me agree with the bad points you mentioned!
 

ljaysmith

New member
Jan 15, 2009
33
0
0
Or because will smith is in it. Quality. :) i dont hate gears , but at the same time dont like it. A saw fence sitter. But oh well doms wife is a dead **** :DD
 

L4Y Duke

New member
Nov 24, 2007
1,085
0
0
D_987 said:
Wow, Yahtzee actually liked it...very true with the whole "Chest high walls" part, I never thought about it like that.
Yeah, me neither.

Good ZP this week. Especially the "Yeah, let's go with that. F*** YOU CLIFFY B!" rationalle.
 

ntnimara

New member
Oct 3, 2008
107
0
0
liked the last words

the accent was alright I guess..

to be honest.. I've never heard a South African accent.. so... I can't really have a say :p
 

MiloP

New member
Jan 23, 2009
441
0
0
CHEST HIGH WALLS.
Although good for Yahtzee for finding a mainstream game good. He's getting weaker. :D
 

Simriel

The Count of Monte Cristo
Dec 22, 2008
2,486
0
0
Hes right you knowm If one can ignore the horrible story line, which has little point exept for kinda hinting at where the locust came from, the actual gameplay is nice, and the different locals are pretty good
 

duchaked

New member
Dec 25, 2008
4,451
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0
I really liked Gears of War 2, but I'm glad he pointed out the conveniently placed chest-high walls (that and all the testosterone that cracked up me and my friends). It was kind of odd, but we weren't complaining, haha.
 

DrummerM

New member
Nov 24, 2008
167
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0
As a big fan of both Gears of War 2 and Zero Punctuation, I must say I'm rather surprised that Yahtzee had good things to say about it. Judging from what he's said in previous reviews, it didn't seem like he'd enjoy it too much (What with the whole "space marines killing hordes of aliens" plotline).

There were a few things I disagree with Yahtzee about, mostly the friendly A.I's actions when you get downed by enemy fire. Most of the time when it happens to me, at least one of the other guys will come over, revive me, and resume fire. Occasionally they all concentrate fire on one big enemy and seemingly forget about me. Oh, and as far as I can tell your friendly team mates only revive you on the lower difficulties (Casual and Normal). Anything above and you don't get a second chance. And the whole "charging into enemies to carve them up with your chainsaw" doesn't usually work on the higher difficulties.

But those two minor points aside, this was a good review.
 

HadesWTF

New member
Jun 4, 2008
43
0
0
Talk about a flashback big enough to cause a brain hemorrhage. (the Getaway)


Good review, funny in a very good way.

I have a hard time caring for Gear of War 2 though.
 

niblik

New member
Jun 13, 2008
35
0
0
Getting an error when I try to watch the video... :( Something about file not found.
 

Toomachine

New member
Sep 10, 2008
11
0
0
High chest walls. That was classic.

Surprised how he didn't mention Baird's pessimistic, smart-assy attitude and Cole's hyper active shenanigans throughout the storyline. Both my favorite characters aren't even mentioned, but still very nice job.
 

darmey

New member
Sep 10, 2008
41
0
0
Great review, but then the double kick to the balls with the unfunny guy at the end who brought along clips of the absolutely terrible "The Getaway". >_<
 

SomeBritishDude

New member
Nov 1, 2007
5,081
0
0
Muh...I prefered Cliffy B back when he was making awesome platformer/shooters about Bunnies. I miss Jazz Jack Rabbit...

Great Video, by the way.
 

flaming_squirrel

New member
Jun 28, 2008
1,031
0
0
IT'S THE COLE TRAIN BABY!

GoW is one of those odd games which I've always sort of liked playing, but never actually got excited over. The game-play might be solid and entertaining enough, but when the plot to back it up is as weak as Atlantic Ocean piss it tends to lack the critical aspect to draw you in.
Also did anyone else laugh for a good few minutes when Dom finally found his wife? I sure as hell did, now THAT'S entertainment.

Liked this one more then last weeks, had a bit more review in it (not that the last one was bad, just lacking in the 'actually looking at game-play' section).
 

lukemdizzle

New member
Jul 7, 2008
615
0
0
basically sums it up. gears 2 is dump as shit but its still fun to blow up skyscraper size monsters with oversized guns
 

bitzi61

New member
Jan 28, 2009
227
0
0
Yahtzee had it right on the money!
All I gotta say is "Go Go Gadget, WILL SMITH!"
LOL!
 

sky14kemea

Deus Ex-Mod
Jun 26, 2008
12,760
0
0
Yahtzee has a point, why does everything Will Smith appear in get popular almost automatically?
i loved the joke about Simon Cowell XD great review Yahtzee!
 

SpyOfGeneralTso

New member
Jan 21, 2009
5
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0
I'm curious as to why the Multiplayer aspect wasn't covered, though. I would think that even fragments of the atrocious Matchmaking or the Invincible Chainsaw tactics would have caught even his attention.

Despite this, what he said was still funny, AND true. Hats off to him.
 

Sir_Chumley_Warner

New member
Dec 25, 2008
24
0
0
That was informative, not that I didn't already surmise this anyway but it's a lot more funny with cartoons and an Australian voiceover.

Yahtzee, if you're reading: If GD goes through and you guys get picked up by some TV network, grab an interview with Noah Antwiler,(spoonyexperiment.com) I've never seen him interviewed and I think you could come up with some good questions. If you haven't heard of him, he is an extremely funny and witty individual who does reviews of old movies and strange/old/broken games as well as reviews of modern games and movies too.(not that todays games aren't broken or strange as well.)
 

crimped

New member
Feb 3, 2008
45
0
0
meh, game sucked review sucked. i think my computer screen may implode from all this sucking!
 

zoozilla

New member
Dec 3, 2007
959
0
0
Surprising that Yahtzee liked it, to be sure.

Though it's good that at least some mainstream games are good, as about 95% of all games ever made are meant to be "mainstream".
 

RogueDarkJedi

New member
Dec 28, 2008
224
0
0
Okay, it seemed like he mostly liked it. But even after watching, I'm still not really sure.

Doesn't matter I guess. The episode was funny...unlike this week's Unskippable.
 

Muphin_Mann

New member
Oct 4, 2007
285
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0
I wonder if i should pick this up. See, i hated the first one. I got about to the point were some guy dies at the hands of a big alien walking down the street (2 or 3 levels in) and i said "F*** this shit." and i traded it in. Then i was perfectly happy playing Halo and Half-Life. But people are raving about this sequal so it must be better. Right?
 

FlawedLegacy

New member
Jan 28, 2009
8
0
0
Yahtzee you Charistmatic Stallion,
once again completely right.

I gotta say, it may have been quite a while ago (Orginal Xbox while ago...) that i played Gears 1, but when i finished the first level of Gears 2 i couldn't help but think its exactly what i experienced in the first game... that not much had changed... may have just been me though.

Keep up the epic reviews
 

Cryofthewolf

New member
Feb 28, 2008
414
0
0
This one was one of the funniest Zero Punctuation reviews of all time.

"...mother nature will drop rock walls out of the sky..."

^_^
 

MorkFromOrk

New member
Sep 9, 2007
87
0
0
This was one of Yahtzee's best game reviews. I liked the game but you know...After a few hours I was kinda like "Yeah OK, I've already done this scenario." Just like when I played Halo 3 and felt that it was all getting a little long in the tooth.

Too I didn't like the A.I. all that much. I mean what kind of capable military squad runs right out in front of your line of fire???

All in all the macho-man third person shooter is feeling mighty stale these days. I think game studios should take a break from post-armageddon first/third person shooters (except for Bioshock 2 of course) for awhile and try something else for a change.
 

Xaositect

New member
Mar 6, 2008
452
0
0
Having been unable to load last weeks vid, I was gratified to see this one come off with out a hitch, and be made of awesome. Im glad to see no mercy whatsoever was shown to this games absolutely preposterous overly macho masturbatory nature. The characters are ridiculous and 2 dimensional, anyone with half a brain can tell this. This of course means that the developers must be severely lacking in brains to try and miserably attempt to convince us for a second they arent just chainsaw-gun wielding monuments of insecure masculinity.

Oh, and nice to see a stab in regards to the second of Gears of War's pathetic and pretentious trailers. Why dramatise a game that could be changed to "Meat at War", which is about pieces of meat shooting and sawing up other pieces of meat, and little beyond aesthetics would be changed?

The only way I will ever respect Gears of War is if they stop trying to make it look refined and instead let it show fully that its nothing more than a brainless shoot-&-saw-em-up-fest, which I can understand people honestly enjoying. The trailers should be composed of frenetic in game combat footage with heavy metal music playing over the top, emphasising the simplicity of the game. Not some sack of meat staring longingly at a photo of his wife while riding a drillevator underground with emotional music playing. Pfeh.
 

Metalrocks

New member
Jan 15, 2009
2,406
0
0
LOL. it was funny nd for a change he din't talked the game down all over. good thing i din't get it. was always sceptical about it.
 

Auron555

New member
Jun 15, 2008
348
0
0
Awww, my chin isn't NEARLY big enough to play this game...
Guess I'll wait and see for the third one.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

New member
Aug 8, 2007
11,049
0
0
Enjoyable. Surprised he liked it, but then, I've never played the game, so I guess I can't judge it just by some of the people who play it.
Will Smith does draw a crowd.
 

ssgt splatter

New member
Oct 8, 2008
3,276
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0
he finally reviewed it, im so happy. that was funny as hell, at first i couldnt figure out what the QTE was but then i remembered, the chainsaw duels with the drones, palace gaurds, and Skorge
 

ssgt splatter

New member
Oct 8, 2008
3,276
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0
Auron555 said:
Awww, my chin isn't NEARLY big enough to play this game...
Guess I'll wait and see for the third one.
dude, why do you want to wait til the 3rd one, even though it is enevitable, you still got to play it.
 

Stabby Joe

New member
Jul 30, 2008
1,545
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0
The chest high walls point is a good one that I didn't consider before.

Either way the main problem and good thing about Gears 2 is thats its to much the same as the first.
 

Auron555

New member
Jun 15, 2008
348
0
0
ssgt splatter said:
Auron555 said:
Awww, my chin isn't NEARLY big enough to play this game...
Guess I'll wait and see for the third one.
dude, why do you want to wait til the 3rd one, even though it is enevitable, you still got to play it.
...joke?
 

sheic99

New member
Oct 15, 2008
2,316
0
0
Spinwhiz said:
Clairaudient said:
keyper159 said:
cool new video but why are so many people banned for those posts??
They posted their "lolllzlz I LOVE YTAHAZEEE" before they could have even finished watching the actual video. The video was up around noon, lasted 5 minutes and there's people commenting on it by 12:01
*nods and shines hammer*
I've always wondered, is there a competition to see who can ban/suspend the most amount of people on these threads, or do you just take turns?
 

anmolngm

New member
Oct 19, 2008
58
0
0
Just a quick question but why are the first people that respond to Zero Punctuation banned?
 

ElArabDeMagnifico

New member
Dec 20, 2007
3,775
0
0
Did he really just contradict himself at the end or was it solely to build up the will smith joke?

Anyway, not surprised he didn't like it but...I am surprised he didn't hate it. Apparently because the levels had variety = good game.
 

kommando367

New member
Oct 9, 2008
1,956
0
0
Yahtzee Croshaw said:
Gears of War 2

This week Zero Punctuation reviews Gears of War 2, but only for all you big manly men.

Watch Video
I don't get what you mean, about bad ally AI. the only problem i had was the part where the player has to kill 2 maulers, then two bloodmounts, where in, dom ran to the cover down the stairs and got killed by the mauler.
 

ownedbygod

New member
Dec 24, 2008
1
0
0
Come on Yahtzee...remember Psychonauts! Nobody likes you when your being nice and your reinforcing the fanboy stupidity prerequisite(except fanboys and devs of course). Besides, the only thing Gears2 has done is further the ideal that we can and should settle for less story as long as the action keeps us from getting bored and the screen is littered with more visual stimulation than anyone who doesn't see the world in stop-motion-vision can possibly expect to process. My point is that you can't have your meringue pie and eat it too. You have to choose if video games are an art-form or if you are simply going to pick apart every bad aspect and coddle your fanboys ;) I know, I know, your complex and damn-it-all if you don't continue to give us what we want, but for the love of Pete, love it or hate it, don't pfaf about and hope the Cliffy-B gives you a call, like Molyneux did, and pat you on the back while secretly wishing he had asked your opinion on where the story should have gone or how many color-pallets should have been accessed. Best Friends!
 

DrummerM

New member
Nov 24, 2008
167
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0
SpyOfGeneralTso said:
I'm curious as to why the Multiplayer aspect wasn't covered, though.
I'm going to take a guess and say that it's because he didn't have enough time to try out the multiplayer, or anything other then the campaign mode. Same thing happens with other games that have online multiplayer modes (Like Call of Duty 4), Yahtzee's said before that he really only has enough time to play the story-mode, finish it if he can, make a review and then do the same thing in time for the next week. And usually by the time he finishes reviewing the one game, there are a whole bunch of others that need to be done (As mentioned in the Mirror's Edge review).

Probably not spot-on, but it's close enough.
 

Bofus Teefus

New member
Jan 29, 2009
1,189
0
0
I just started playing the first Gears, and he pretty much summed up how I feel about it with his Gears 2 analysis. Fun gameplay with characters so macho, you almost wonder if they're lying to themselves.
 

MercurySteam

Tastes Like Chicken!
Apr 11, 2008
4,948
0
0
Clairaudient said:
keyper159 said:
cool new video but why are so many people banned for those posts??
They posted their "lolllzlz I LOVE YTAHAZEEE" before they could have even finished watching the actual video. The video was up around noon, lasted 5 minutes and there's people commenting on it by 12:01
Wow i though they got banned for just saying random stuff, and not saying anything helpful. Can't believe it took me so long. What morons. do they really wanna be Gonzos that much? They screwed with the wrong Escapist Contributer.
 

PopcornAvenger

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Yeah, it's a pity he didn't try the multiplayer, where you can headshot guys with a scopeless sniper rifle . . . while they're so close they're giving you tongue. Or they can hit you with it, and suddenly a precision and delicate instrument becomes a huge iron baseball bat. Yay, Gears! \o/

It seriously broke my heart when they announced it won't be ported to the PC. *sob*
 

killer_friend

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I am glad that somebody in the game business agrees that GOW is not that great of a game, in fact i wish that people would stop putting Cliffy B on such a high horse, he isn't that great of a game designer and GOW is doing nothing but playing off of halo's success (no offense if you genuinely like the game) but i digress, great review yet again Yahtzee
 
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Personally enjoyed it, but his review did shed some light on the not so great things.
Also, why did like the first seven comments get suspended? I see nothing wrong with them.
 

AceDiamond

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DrummerM said:
SpyOfGeneralTso said:
I'm curious as to why the Multiplayer aspect wasn't covered, though.
I'm going to take a guess and say that it's because he didn't have enough time to try out the multiplayer, or anything other then the campaign mode. Same thing happens with other games that have online multiplayer modes (Like Call of Duty 4), Yahtzee's said before that he really only has enough time to play the story-mode, finish it if he can, make a review and then do the same thing in time for the next week. And usually by the time he finishes reviewing the one game, there are a whole bunch of others that need to be done (As mentioned in the Mirror's Edge review).

Probably not spot-on, but it's close enough.
That's probably part of it, I also seem to remember him stating at one point that he doesn't share the belief that multiplayer can save a game experience, and that a good game should be enjoyable both in single player and multiplayer (unless it's a game that has to be multiplayer only by design or vice-versa, of course)
 

Stylish_Robot

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I think he mentioned in the Halo 3 review that he doesn't spend all that money to find a short campaign but everything's in multiplayer.

As for Gears 2, I loved it when it first came out and missing 7 achievements but then it just got...old, I don't know.
 

Wounded Melody

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Loved the review even though I haven't played GoW2 yet. Chest high walls! That will be on one of my lj icons.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Holy Harold Christ! Have you seen that first-page bannage? That's just... awesome.

Why do people bother posting "lol so good, 1ST!!1!" Is there some supreme badge for moronic behavior?
 

P1p3s

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good review - back to his thoughtful insightful self...suspiciously slow speech however...hmm
;o) only kidding, can't fault him, and it's nice to see him enjoy a game that I do and not leaving me feel like a plebian toad
 

Sgt. Dante

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I have to be fair, this game has actually held my interest somewhat, I mean i've basically finished it in two sittings and i doubt i'd play through the story again, but it was a good ride.
 

Aura Guardian

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Kahoony117 said:
Personally enjoyed it, but his review did shed some light on the not so great things.
Also, why did like the first seven comments get suspended? I see nothing wrong with them.
anmolngm said:
Just a quick question but why are the first people that respond to Zero Punctuation banned?
While there is nothing wrong with the comments. The fact is that they posted them before they watched the video. Which gets rather annoying.
 

WVUFairless

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Im glad he explained why he used that weird accent in last weeks review in the last 5 seconds of this review lol
 

Spinwhiz

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sheic99 said:
Spinwhiz said:
Clairaudient said:
keyper159 said:
cool new video but why are so many people banned for those posts??
They posted their "lolllzlz I LOVE YTAHAZEEE" before they could have even finished watching the actual video. The video was up around noon, lasted 5 minutes and there's people commenting on it by 12:01
*nods and shines hammer*
I've always wondered, is there a competition to see who can ban/suspend the most amount of people on these threads, or do you just take turns?
Naw, it's just whoever gets to the thread first. I just happened to refresh my screen at the right time. We really don't like banning people at all but some people just don't learn until you smash them in the avatar with a glowing banhammer.
 

Almgandi

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@the end; or because one of the voice actors is the same as the one who does Bender on futurama
 

ultimatechance

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hahahaha, chest high walls and the shawshank references were the best. (Edit: Did no one else really get the shawshank reference?)
 

Ickabod

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nothing on how you can't see crap in the game because your character takes up half the screen?
 

jemborg

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BlueInkAlchemist said:
A return to the flippity glombo spletch. Seriously, this feels a lot more like a legitimate review than four minutes of hilarious cynical ragging. I had a feeling he was going to dislike it based solely on the big tough "space marines" in ridiculous suits of powered armor fighting waves of monsters who are monstrously thick, but what I didn't expect were the more subtle gay jokes (in comparison to, say, Army of Two), Freud (FNARR FNARR made me laugh) and Will Smith.

And even if Cliffy B got a big "Fuck You," I'm sure Yahtzee still considers him an extremely sexy man.

Very good, quite funny, will watch again.
Agreed.

Innuendo? In-YOUR-endo!...

Mrs. Saunders: "Oh dear, I see that overfed rooster of yours has fallen over and got a concussion Mr. Gimley! Need some help?"

Mr. Gimley: "Yes Mrs. Sanders, grab my big fat cock and and give it's throbbing head a rub will you?"

Finbar Saunders: "FNARR FNARR".

Keep up the grand work Yahtzee. :D
 

SpartanAssassin

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If I knew he was going to read these posts I would have asked him to review Gears 2 a long time ago, instead of Tomb Raider Underworld that everyone knew has going to suck in the first place, after all, the newer they are the worse they get.
 

soren7550

Overly Proud New Yorker
Dec 18, 2008
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Holy Christ this was funny! My brother couldn't stop laughing at the giant chins part or the half a car bit.

Keep up the good work! Pie we can! Pie we can!
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Good review, think I might have to try the game. I'm glad he explained that terrible accent from last week, and hope he never repeats it.
 

Mighdas

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Well Yahtzee, if it makes you feel better,

Dom ends up killing his wife in the end...
 

Tietsu

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One of my favorites. recently I've felt that Yahtzee has been hit and miss with most of it, but this actually was a review that mentioned the good with the bad and didn't just rape us through one ear and out the other. Assuming Yahtzee even bothers to read these bloody things I would recommend to continue in this vein.

and the Alien = good = bad bit was funny as hell.
 

Somthing

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stoid7 said:
Good review, think I might have to try the game. I'm glad he explained that terrible accent from last week, and hope he never repeats it.
explained? are you really so outright retarded that you need it explained to you? i mean he said if you do not count having a hilarious african accent as a mutation right when he started with the accents that SHOULD (note should meaning that it didnt due to internets crazy amounts of retarded fuckhead. I say DO MORE ACCENTS AND CONFUSE THE MASSES!!!!!
 

Schap3lleCorby

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good review, loved the way he spoke about the fail A.I. by the sounds of it it seems like its nearly as retarded as the people who always get temp bans for posting comments before theyve had a chance to watch the video like the 4 or 5 guys on page 1 lol
 

beddo

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Hamster at Dawn said:
This review reflects my thoughts on the game exactly. Even with all its flaws, Gears of War 2 is an enjoyable game. I personally only play in coop though because, as mentioned, the AI is useless and will sometimes run out and get killed thus forcing you to reload a checkpoint.
Is it difficult to form your own opinions on a game without Yahtzee telling you what to think?
 

beddo

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Mighdas said:
Well Yahtzee, if it makes you feel better, Dom ends up killing his wife in the end...
Nice, it's called a spoiler. You just have to put "spoiler" at the beginning and "/spoiler" at the end with each enclosed by '[' ']'.
 

beddo

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dejawolf said:
garghle, he forgot to mention the on-rails shooting gallery feel of the whole ordeal!
Yes, unlike in any other linear shooter.
 

beddo

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Odoylerules360 said:
the chest-high-walls were glaringly obvious in the first one too.
I like active reloading, even though it is a QTE.

And it's good to see people getting banned for commenting before they watch the video.
It's not really a quick time event. By that standard shooting when an enemy comes out of cover is a quick time event.

Quick time events are generally integral to the progression in the game, for example if you don't press a button at the correct time your character dies.
 

bartholen_v1legacy

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Jan 24, 2009
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I think this episode is pretty much everything ZP needs to be; there's no blabby-blabby-bullshit in the beginning and Yahtzee does what he is supposed to do: picks every single bad thing about it and then beats it brutally to death with them (though not as brutally as he could, but we saw what that means in Sonic Unleashed). And the triple-cunted hooker joke was actually quite appropriate, because like CoD4, this is also an extremely popular mainstream shooter which has received tons of praise.
 

DiamondJack

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I would have to imagine they were baned for posting pointless twadle. The kinde of genaric comments that are only intended to usurp the coveted "first one to post" award. Who wants to read retarded statements like "loved it", "great", & "watched it". Good for you trained monkeys, but why did you like it or is that to complicated a thought process. I think Yatzee or whoever band those posts was hoping for more intelligent comments then what you find on YouTube, and if so can you realy blame the moderator?
 

Quelthazar

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nice. great to see that there are games that Yahtzee even likes. haven't really played it myself but maybe someday...
 

tobyornottoby

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ultimatechance said:
hahahaha, chest high walls and the shawshank references were the best. (Edit: Did no one else really get the shawshank reference?)
Nope I thought SR was one of those fabled 'gender-neutral' movies (so not just for girls, or is that the joke? <.<)
 

ultimatechance

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tobyornottoby said:
ultimatechance said:
hahahaha, chest high walls and the shawshank references were the best. (Edit: Did no one else really get the shawshank reference?)
Nope I thought SR was one of those fabled 'gender-neutral' movies (so not just for girls, or is that the joke? <.<)
lol, i dont get it. Its about a man who struggles to survive in prison, so i dont see how thats for girls whatsoever. But the reference goes perfectly with the whole "happy ending" topic that Yahtzee was talking about.
 

Malkavian

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Having only played GoW 2 for 2 hours or so, Yahtzee seemed to acknowledge all my views on the game. And as always, it was done with bitter style.
5 tophats for you, sir.
 

Zenode

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Is it just me or does Yahtzee fail to mention the multiplayer yet again?
I dont really mind but its just that other people babbled on the whole review about "Horde Mode" or what not

btw What the hell was in the background when he said about the "squishy" level?
 

ZippyDSMlee

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Epic fails now adays, even more so when GOW PC hit its DRM "expiration date"..... crap designs and games made for casual gamers gotta love modern gaming...

Zenode said:
Is it just me or does Yahtzee fail to mention the multiplayer yet again?
I dont really mind but its just that other people babbled on the whole review about "Horde Mode" or what not

btw What the hell was in the background when he said about the "squishy" level?
MP is over rated, it should never replace a solid SP experience for a SP based game... .
 

iateurpie

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i reely like zero punctuation shit for it is funny and original. I don't understand why yahtzee doesn't rule the world with his sadistic critising fist. Any who disagree with me can jump off a bridge before being melted into butter.
 

Zenode

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iateurpie said:
i reely like zero punctuation shit for it is funny and original. I don't understand why yahtzee doesn't rule the world with his sadistic critising fist. Any who disagree with me can jump off a bridge before being melted into butter.
any other great opinions on the actual game review?
(Does grammar and spelling exist anywhere in that parapgraph of yours?)

Gears of War 2 is a great game it is one of those games where it is a good improvement on the last (and thank god there was no Halo 2 kind of endings) Thank god the campaign was longer I rented Gears of War 1 and beat it way to quickly on Hardcore.

Hopefully Gears of War 3 will top the lot.
 

goatzilla8463

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i never rly liked gears of war. the first one of just to dark to see anything. i couldn't see where i was going. i kept on getting stuck on various bits of crap
 

Echo42

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to be honest from what you've spoken of hasnt swayed me in how i see this game, i admit it looks good.. but so do many other things, and they can turn out bad... so im still deciding to avoid Gears 2 like the plague until a free play opportuniy arrises and i can make my decision then.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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I love the chest high wall joke

Too me I love gears 1 and I read the book and I played this game and I love the storyline in this game its much deeper than you think. Halo's story was good as well but not as good as Gears of war

I love characters in the game like dom,marcus,baird and carmine and cole but my favorite out of all of them is baird. I love his sarcastic humor
 

Miss_Fortune

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thank you Yahtzee for making Wednesday bearable.
(the Simon Cowell feature will be implemented in Gears of War 3)
 

lizards

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i like gears 2 and apparently judging on how he said "good" we know what yahtzee likes
 

Sixties Spidey

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Great review Yahtzee! And I agree that science facility level was really needless. it didn't really tie in with the rest of the plot at all.
 

KingPiccolOwned

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Well you've heard it here, Gears2 is actually good. And don't get on me about what Yahtzee said at the beginning with the "Oh, wait there is a QTE. A little one I guess I have to hate it now!" bit because you and I both know that if he isn't bashing a game he essentially has no show. A lesson that Yahtzee admited he learned after his review of Psychonauts, and during his one of Portal.
 

KingPiccolOwned

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That may have been a problem with your monitor, or whatever the hell you played it on, cause it wasn't that dark for me.
 

Vlane

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KingPiccolOwned said:
That may have been a problem with your monitor, or whatever the hell you played it on, cause it wasn't that dark for me.
Yeah it was brown.
 

PirateKing

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Yahtzee proved something to me in this review. That he can actually like a game despite its popularity. I was starting to think that he wouldn't allow himself to like it.
Thanks for proving me wrong Yahtzee!