Zero Punctuation: God of War III

[goatmilk]

Loved the voice. I dunno if anyone has been around since the beginning with the very first review of The Darkness. This was basically his original voice, without all the yelling and stuff. And I really enjoy his old reviews. I liked that he was calm and just talked fast. Fantastic review, truly a return to form for Yahtzee.

 

[Mcface]

Seems a tad unenthusiastic. Almost as though opening a bar in a major Australian metropolitan area may somehow be draining.

Anywho, at the risk of attracting replies from kneejerking GoW fans, personally I was bored of GoW when I was bored of Devil May Cry. GoW-III may be "fun," but (from the other 3 1/2 minutes Yahtzee was talking) sounds like it's lacking in worthwhile substance.

Lacking in worthwhile substance? I hope you realize that that particular charge can be plausibly leveled at most video games in existence.

If you haven't already seen it this video points out a number of interesting things but what I'm referring to specifically this time around is when he says "right now about 95% of the video games in the world......" near the beginning of the video.

http://www.destructoid.com/rev-rant-fun-isn-t-enough-142052.phtml


But of course Yahtzee probably wouldn't be one to agree with the video as a whole. In his review of Saints Row 2 Yahtzee strongly implies that fun is all that's needed in a game. Of course this also makes his petty God of War 3 nitpicking all the more odd. But then again I've said it before and I'll say it again. Consistency certainly doesn't seem to be Yahtzee's strong point.

As if it's impossible to like a game where you drive around in a huge varity of cars, use a varity of weapons, customize yourself in hundredes of different ways blowing people to hell, and dislike a hack and slash game?

Don't split hairs. Mindless fun is still mindless fun. Does it really matter where it comes from?

And Yahtzee certainly doesn't dislike God of War 3.

If mindless fun is more mindless than fun, it is different.

 

[Caiti Voltaire]

A somewhat bland review not helped by his sickness affecting his voice, but is rather accurate in the sense that Kratos does seem to take this whole revenge thing a LITTLE too seriously, and thus is harder to relate to his plight. I'm still working through the game but I've killed about 3 Gods and now the seas are flooding, the sun is gone, and vegetation is dying. And when one of the Gods who is really innocent in all of this brings up the fact that his quest is ruining the world, Kratos proceeds to break said God's neck. It still is a fun game that every PS3 owner should experience, but the feeling that you're fighting for the best cause that was there in 1 and 2 (destroying Ares to save Olympus and to eliminate your nightmares, getting revenge on the Gods after they betray you) is lost in this. Really be ready to check your brain at the door, but you'll still have tons of fun.

Not to sound like I'm flaming or anything, since I have to wonder to myself if I can word this in such a way that it won't come off like that, but I find it a little funny and kind of "meta" to come off sounding like you're reviewing a .. review.

 

[A1]

Seems a tad unenthusiastic. Almost as though opening a bar in a major Australian metropolitan area may somehow be draining.

Anywho, at the risk of attracting replies from kneejerking GoW fans, personally I was bored of GoW when I was bored of Devil May Cry. GoW-III may be "fun," but (from the other 3 1/2 minutes Yahtzee was talking) sounds like it's lacking in worthwhile substance.

Lacking in worthwhile substance? I hope you realize that that particular charge can be plausibly leveled at most video games in existence.

Speak of the devil.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Consistency certainly doesn't seem to be Yahtzee's strong point.

Yes, because it's completely unreasonable for a person to have two minds about anything.

(Note to confused onlookers or Mods-who-feel-they-can't-get-through-the-day-without-slapping-somebody-with-a-probation: I'm being short with A1 for a reason. I've a long history explaining to him why it is that Yahtzee can have a definite negative opinion while expressing a positive note as a counterpoint at some part of his reviews, especially on the subject of certain PS3 games. These explanations have fallen on deaf ears in every attempt, he's absolutely adamant that Yahtzee won't be clear, even in the face of articles where he's attempted to clarify, and I've neither the time nor willpower to try again.)

So it's completely unreasonable for someone to be consistent I guess.


And the main problem is that you've been trying to explain things and clarify things. But you really have no right to do that.

Such explanations are not yours to give. Such clarifications are not yours to make. That's why they don't hold any real weight. This is Yahtzee's opinion so only he can do those things.

And exactly what "articles" would those be?

And another thing is you at one point described yourself as a "tireless rebutter". What happened with that interesting declaration?

 

[PatternWolf]

I agree with him on the story goes. Gameplay is great. Playing an anti-hero is one thing. But Kratos' murder spree starts getting a little ridiculous. It seems like he's going out of his way to murder things. He's more cartoonishly vicious now.

Also, does anyone else wonder why in god of war 2 he didn't simply just (spoiler warnings) use the sisters time travel thing to go back in time to save his family, as opposed to bringing back the titans to destroy the gods. I know, its because we won't have god of war 3, but I hate time travel because of these kind of loopholes.

 

[Booze Zombie]

I'm kind of surprised you didn't make any comments about almost absurdly well-rendered titties, but I suppose that would've been too obvious?

Or perhaps it was such a tiny part of the game that it didn't even bare mentioning...

 

[13thforswarn]

Sounds like he's got a sore throat or a cold.

He didn't drop the "Like God of War but" bomb this time... I wonder why...

 

[Enigma6667]

Another great review. But I gotta say, it was still a highly enjoyable and fun game. Not perfect, because of course nothing's perfect, and definitely not even close to perfect, but it was just...fun.

 

[A1]

Seems a tad unenthusiastic. Almost as though opening a bar in a major Australian metropolitan area may somehow be draining.

Anywho, at the risk of attracting replies from kneejerking GoW fans, personally I was bored of GoW when I was bored of Devil May Cry. GoW-III may be "fun," but (from the other 3 1/2 minutes Yahtzee was talking) sounds like it's lacking in worthwhile substance.

Lacking in worthwhile substance? I hope you realize that that particular charge can be plausibly leveled at most video games in existence.

If you haven't already seen it this video points out a number of interesting things but what I'm referring to specifically this time around is when he says "right now about 95% of the video games in the world......" near the beginning of the video.

http://www.destructoid.com/rev-rant-fun-isn-t-enough-142052.phtml


But of course Yahtzee probably wouldn't be one to agree with the video as a whole. In his review of Saints Row 2 Yahtzee strongly implies that fun is all that's needed in a game. Of course this also makes his petty God of War 3 nitpicking all the more odd. But then again I've said it before and I'll say it again. Consistency certainly doesn't seem to be Yahtzee's strong point.

As if it's impossible to like a game where you drive around in a huge varity of cars, use a varity of weapons, customize yourself in hundredes of different ways blowing people to hell, and dislike a hack and slash game?

Don't split hairs. Mindless fun is still mindless fun. Does it really matter where it comes from?

And Yahtzee certainly doesn't dislike God of War 3.

If mindless fun is more mindless than fun, it is different.

Interesting. But with regard to the God of War III review it's only conjecture.

 

[Fox242]

Sounds like he's got a sore throat or a cold.

He didn't drop the "Like God of War but" bomb this time... I wonder why...

Because this is God of War. There's no need to drop the "Like God of War but..." on something that is God of War.

Anyway, to the main point of this post. I remember that after people viewed Yahtzee's Assassin's Creed 2 review, there was alot of discussion concerning his voice and how different it was. He then had to devote an Extra Punctuation article explaining why his voice sounded different instead of focusing on something more insightful.

For fuck's sake people, do we really need to keep talking about how his voice is different this time. Yahtzee has already stated that he has a sore throat on a Twitter post and other people here have already pointed that out. Do we need Yahtzee to waste his next Extra Punctuation article on his voice when he could be using it to bring his unique brand of wisdom to us all concerning Kratos' character or the God of War series in general? The answer is no. So please stop talking about his sore throat already!

 

[geldonyetich]

And another thing is you at one point described yourself as a "tireless rebutter". What happened with that interesting declaration?

I became an old curmudgeon whose dislike for kids on his lawn has grown to exceed his enjoyment for the pastime of butting heads with them. Although, in truth, I haven't shaken the habit entirely - I'm here, after all - and I'll rebut a lot of topics. However, you're out of luck here because I've come to recognize a situation in which there seems to be zero progress at all as being futile.

Perhaps the other party has overmuch respect for "consistency" (funny how close such a respect is to "wanton ignorance" or "stubbornness"). Perhaps the other side is taking the matter too personally and will expend every fiber of their creativity to opposing everything I say -- perhaps unaware that making excuses not to understand is something any adequately willful 5-year-old can do. Perhaps because the other party only makes adequate time to read the parts of the message they want to read and are overly eager to disregard the rest, like any other drooling serial nitpicker. Perhaps the other party simply enjoys having a belief, in time-honored human tradition, and in doing so has consciously chosen to regard anything expressed to the contrary to be an absolutely unacceptable blemish on the face of mankind.

I'm sure this isn't a complete list of why no progress is being made. They're all easy pitfalls of commonplace delusion that the poor sap on the other side of my message may have succumbed to as easily as breathing. The result is the same: I'm wasting my time. There's a difference between a tireless rebutter and a flat out stupid one.

I'd extend you the same respect I'm demanding here but it's too late now. You've given me too many signs in the wrong direction. You've tripped my futility alarm. I'm more or less positive now that, were I able to bend the very fabric of time and space with the power of my words alone, you would instantly manifest the ability to be in a small pocket dimension where you're still in stark disagreement. Consequently, I've written off this whole back and forth with you in regards to Yahtzee's "consistency" as being a radical difference in perspective.

So, instead, I've undergone a topic shift. I'm telling you to get the hell off my lawn. By that, I don't mean the Escapist - that's not my jurisdiction. Rather, I'm implying you should stop barking up this particular tree (myself) trying to pick an argument. Not unless you want to argue about how sick I am with arguing with you, because apparently that's a topic I am interested in.

Besides, contrary to what my obsessive-compulsive editing of this message suggests, I've better things to do. It's dawned on me that any amount of typing I could be spending here would be better spent working my Indy game. I've a Spanish 102 exam coming up tomorrow, and am subtly wondering when I'll stop ignoring it. These and other matters take higher priority than this deeply ingrained forum habit of mine.

Not a tireless rebutter. Hrmph. Look at all those finely crafted words I made while under the firm belief that they will be ignored or misunderstood.

 

[Mcface]

Seems a tad unenthusiastic. Almost as though opening a bar in a major Australian metropolitan area may somehow be draining.

Anywho, at the risk of attracting replies from kneejerking GoW fans, personally I was bored of GoW when I was bored of Devil May Cry. GoW-III may be "fun," but (from the other 3 1/2 minutes Yahtzee was talking) sounds like it's lacking in worthwhile substance.

Lacking in worthwhile substance? I hope you realize that that particular charge can be plausibly leveled at most video games in existence.

If you haven't already seen it this video points out a number of interesting things but what I'm referring to specifically this time around is when he says "right now about 95% of the video games in the world......" near the beginning of the video.

http://www.destructoid.com/rev-rant-fun-isn-t-enough-142052.phtml


But of course Yahtzee probably wouldn't be one to agree with the video as a whole. In his review of Saints Row 2 Yahtzee strongly implies that fun is all that's needed in a game. Of course this also makes his petty God of War 3 nitpicking all the more odd. But then again I've said it before and I'll say it again. Consistency certainly doesn't seem to be Yahtzee's strong point.

As if it's impossible to like a game where you drive around in a huge varity of cars, use a varity of weapons, customize yourself in hundredes of different ways blowing people to hell, and dislike a hack and slash game?

Don't split hairs. Mindless fun is still mindless fun. Does it really matter where it comes from?

And Yahtzee certainly doesn't dislike God of War 3.

If mindless fun is more mindless than fun, it is different.

Interesting. But with regard to the God of War III review it's only conjecture.

Agreed. But he is a critic, it's his job to be funny and unfair. I don't own a PS3 but it's one of the few games I do want to play when I get mine.

 

[Sylocat]

I hope you feel better soon, Yahtzee.

 

[lonercs]

I'm starting to grow weary of all the hate... I understand you want to please your fans, but now you're just nitpicking! You can't complain that a game has TOO MUCH variety... Ah well.

Not necessarily, if a game has too much variety in is weapons/magic/items and it is not a RPG, shooter, or something like it, then some of them will never be used. It's not bad as it is a shame. You want to mix things up and have variety, but if you can dominate by using one weapon and 1 or 2 items/magic those extras are just extras.

 

[imaloony]

What happened to ZP's voice? It sounds like his review of Psychonauts.

Funny review as ever.
I although thought the same thing:
Why do we need God of War 3? Isn't is just God of War 2 but prettier and with an even worse plot?
I'm sure you could just save some money and play through God of War 2 again, and if you desperately want to know how the story ends (SPOILERS! KRATOS KILLS A LOT OF GODS!) then just watch the (unskippable) cutscenes on Youtube.

 

[Galad]

If Yahtzee had a different kind of sore throat, he could've done that review in a mock-up of Kratos' voice actor...teheee

 

[soulsabr]

Man, Yatzee seemed pretty mellow this time around. I think he needs to lay off (or on) the pills and get back to the snap and slap criticisms we all love.

 

[AdmiralMemo]

The sore throat voice actually reminds me of his first Escapist video. Retro, baby! :-D

 

[blankedboy]

Ar will never replace nom yhatzee! neveerrr!

What?

OT, that was a pretty good one. Made me laught more than usual, dunno why.

 

[clzark]

I'm glad he pointed out how kratos became a complete dick. I still like the games, but at this point it's only for the gameplay. I actually can't stand kratos anymore

oh you miss your wife? can't miss her too much if you're banging anything that moves...