Zero Punctuation: Halo: Reach

[LazyAza]

As someone who's had a kind of 'meh' attitude to halo since its inception I was surprised how fun / awesome Reach was.

And fuck yeah Oni sequel, loved that game. I wouldn't care if it were set in the same universe or if it even still had a weeaboo art style, the gameplay of Oni was what made it awesome, was like a nifty combo based third person brawler but you also had some fun guns to use too.

 

[Angryranter101]

Halo is fun online without the lifeless sadoes, without the penalization (ok well done there Reach, got something right), round a friends house. That?s all the praise its garishly coloured games are getting and the less said about the plot holes larger than the Halos themselves the better.

Still, I agree, if you have money to spare, which I admittedly do (I actually choose standard and not supersaver delivery on amazon) then get it cheap somewhere. Get a used copy unless you like the plot and the multiplayer more than any other game.

On one final note, what always bugged me wasn't the seatbelts. That?s a stupid thing to be bothered by. If they do crash it'll be because the complete lack of armor on 75% of the vehicles meaning if the small arms fire doesn?t simply blow them up in concentrated doses then it'll simply shred the occupants.

Any competent commander would notice that all but the heavier tanks have no armor other than a windscreen and on most occasions no roof. When they find out that these things serve as the transports, then air-bursting shells become a "must have".

 

[Xarhs Vrentas]

I didn't need Yahtzee to tell ME that this game is a dud!

I still can't believe that people still play Halo when there are sooooo many other games that are soooo much better.

GAH! *quotes self*

Really, some people make me so damn annoyed. They seem to have made it their life's mission to try and destroy any games they don't like (and usually this means "games not made by Valve" on these forums). Do they care that some people don't give a shit about comparing Halo to some old game which supposedly has greater depth and more change, because they've got a positive enough outlook on life to be satisfied with a game which is just fun? No. They will not rest until every person in the world has been utterly convinced that Halo is an abomination and we should all be playing Half-Life, and are convinced that anybody who prefers Halo is a casual dipshit with no taste. It's the very worst kind of fanboyism, and I hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, and I just wish these people would see reason and stop.

This militant, elitist and extreme fanboyism of Half Life 2 is incidentally why I hate the game and franchise despite never having played it.

Halo fanboys: Thinnest skins in the west. Saying anything needs improvement is mean, and Halo shouldn't be compared to other games, because that's unfair. It should be judged on its own merits, and every feature of the game judged on how it perfectly matches past Halo games.

And here we go again. You misunderstand me to the extent that you're probably just trolling, and you have no idea how much it is taking me to remain civil here.

As I said, there are some of us with positive enough outlooks on life to be satisfied with a game. For us apparently privileged few, every game doesn't need to be absolutely perfect, totally deep, and completely innovative. We possess the apparently unusual ability to focus on what we think the game does well, and how it's fun. This is why I don't envy game critics - they're paid to be the opposite of this mindset, pointing out every niggling flaw in a game.

There, understand me now?

Yeah... You sure showed me with that post. I'm not at all thinking of an chimpanzee going into a hysterical giggling fit when someone jingles their keys.
I apologize for having standards that require a piece of media to have some amount of substance before I can enjoy it, or as Halo fanboys call it: "trolling".

Man, you people are bad at this. "YOR STOOPID. Now respond to my non-thought-out point, YU STUPED MEENY!"

No no, merely having such standards isn't trolling. What you are doing is trying to assert that your views are correct and being demeaning (or rather, trying and failing to be demeaning) towards those who disagree with you. That right there is either trolling or flaming (or both), take your pick.

See, I would have had no problem with you if you just said "meh personally I don't like Halo, I prefer my games to be deep and all that". What you are instead doing is trying to make enemies by saying "My personal standards mean I look down upon this pathetic excuse for a game from my godly perch and lol at those noobs who like it".

Sometimes I think "the Escapist" should be renamed "the Elitist".

(And by the way, quit with the insults, they don't do much for your credibility or your argument).

Blah blah meanie blah blah elitist blah blah subjectivity. Couldn't possibly care less. This bliss-mommy crap is old hat. Why don't you just start calling people hipsters and complete the "words that don't mean anything and just take up space" trifecta.

That or stop whining whenever someone points out the simple fact (c wut I did thar? lol, i luk 4wd to u wasting a paragraph going "Like... that's just... your opinion, man.") that every Halo game is more of the same. You can like better games where more care is put into them, and bad features are taken out instead of reinforced. All you have to do is learn to invest a little bit in what you spend your time doing.
You're allowed to care about what's happening on the screen.

You have now crossed the line from infuriating to absolutely hilarious. I haven't got much to say to that really, so I'm not even gonna try. I'm glad you are, deep down, so unsatisfied with your life that you have to validate your continued existence by convincing yourself of the inferiority of all those who disagree with you.

Oh, you're a chick. You shoulda said that in the first place so I wouldn't have pegged you as a teenage boy.
Actually, since my big words seem to have confused you, maybe I should just give you a Hercul- um... a challenge: Say something good about Halo Reach.

I know. That was unfair of me.
But now that you're in full thick-headed unphasable "Baaw opinions are subjective" (No duh, Captain) mode, I figured that for your own good, I should put you down with the one question that sends every Halo fan running for the exit. If it can't be answered by "Opinion! Opinion! Stop being mean!", you Halo fans can't answer it.

Say something good about Halo: Reach.

Ahahaha, accusing me of being a girl! Think up that one all by your lonesome did you?

You are one spectacular troll, you know that? If you're doing this unintentionally, it's a feat to remember.

Alright, I'll humour you for a while by taking the somewhat lateral way out.

One good thing about Halo: Reach is the Active Roster. If your friends are online and playing Reach, you can see this the moment you enter the main menu. You can queue to join them, so that when they finish their game you are partied up with them. When in the queue, you can also see details of their game, most usefully how long until it finishes. It's efficient. It's easy. It's a good feature, perhaps even an innovation.

Now I present a challenge to you:

When you try to rebut my point - as you inevitably will - don't try and redefine your parameters. You told me to "name one good thing about Halo: Reach", and I named something. I half expect you to say "lol I meant in gameplay, you stupid chimpanzee", but don't - the extent to which one enjoys the gameplay for any game at all is based around opinion, so "name one good thing about Reach's gameplay" is as impossible a question as "name one good thing about Metroid Fusion's gameplay" or "name one good thing about Homeworld's gameplay" - gameplay features I love, such as the 3D gameplay in the latter (an RTS), may be hated by someone else.

Well this is fun... I think I'll stick around a little bit just to see how this ends. Hahaha

 

[doodger]

i don't know why you say goodbye when i say halo XD

 

[mr_rubino]

I didn't need Yahtzee to tell ME that this game is a dud!

I still can't believe that people still play Halo when there are sooooo many other games that are soooo much better.

GAH! *quotes self*

Really, some people make me so damn annoyed. They seem to have made it their life's mission to try and destroy any games they don't like (and usually this means "games not made by Valve" on these forums). Do they care that some people don't give a shit about comparing Halo to some old game which supposedly has greater depth and more change, because they've got a positive enough outlook on life to be satisfied with a game which is just fun? No. They will not rest until every person in the world has been utterly convinced that Halo is an abomination and we should all be playing Half-Life, and are convinced that anybody who prefers Halo is a casual dipshit with no taste. It's the very worst kind of fanboyism, and I hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, and I just wish these people would see reason and stop.

This militant, elitist and extreme fanboyism of Half Life 2 is incidentally why I hate the game and franchise despite never having played it.

Halo fanboys: Thinnest skins in the west. Saying anything needs improvement is mean, and Halo shouldn't be compared to other games, because that's unfair. It should be judged on its own merits, and every feature of the game judged on how it perfectly matches past Halo games.

And here we go again. You misunderstand me to the extent that you're probably just trolling, and you have no idea how much it is taking me to remain civil here.

As I said, there are some of us with positive enough outlooks on life to be satisfied with a game. For us apparently privileged few, every game doesn't need to be absolutely perfect, totally deep, and completely innovative. We possess the apparently unusual ability to focus on what we think the game does well, and how it's fun. This is why I don't envy game critics - they're paid to be the opposite of this mindset, pointing out every niggling flaw in a game.

There, understand me now?

Yeah... You sure showed me with that post. I'm not at all thinking of an chimpanzee going into a hysterical giggling fit when someone jingles their keys.
I apologize for having standards that require a piece of media to have some amount of substance before I can enjoy it, or as Halo fanboys call it: "trolling".

Man, you people are bad at this. "YOR STOOPID. Now respond to my non-thought-out point, YU STUPED MEENY!"

No no, merely having such standards isn't trolling. What you are doing is trying to assert that your views are correct and being demeaning (or rather, trying and failing to be demeaning) towards those who disagree with you. That right there is either trolling or flaming (or both), take your pick.

See, I would have had no problem with you if you just said "meh personally I don't like Halo, I prefer my games to be deep and all that". What you are instead doing is trying to make enemies by saying "My personal standards mean I look down upon this pathetic excuse for a game from my godly perch and lol at those noobs who like it".

Sometimes I think "the Escapist" should be renamed "the Elitist".

(And by the way, quit with the insults, they don't do much for your credibility or your argument).

Blah blah meanie blah blah elitist blah blah subjectivity. Couldn't possibly care less. This bliss-mommy crap is old hat. Why don't you just start calling people hipsters and complete the "words that don't mean anything and just take up space" trifecta.

That or stop whining whenever someone points out the simple fact (c wut I did thar? lol, i luk 4wd to u wasting a paragraph going "Like... that's just... your opinion, man.") that every Halo game is more of the same. You can like better games where more care is put into them, and bad features are taken out instead of reinforced. All you have to do is learn to invest a little bit in what you spend your time doing.
You're allowed to care about what's happening on the screen.

You have now crossed the line from infuriating to absolutely hilarious. I haven't got much to say to that really, so I'm not even gonna try. I'm glad you are, deep down, so unsatisfied with your life that you have to validate your continued existence by convincing yourself of the inferiority of all those who disagree with you.

Oh, you're a chick. You shoulda said that in the first place so I wouldn't have pegged you as a teenage boy.
Actually, since my big words seem to have confused you, maybe I should just give you a Hercul- um... a challenge: Say something good about Halo Reach.

I know. That was unfair of me.
But now that you're in full thick-headed unphasable "Baaw opinions are subjective" (No duh, Captain) mode, I figured that for your own good, I should put you down with the one question that sends every Halo fan running for the exit. If it can't be answered by "Opinion! Opinion! Stop being mean!", you Halo fans can't answer it.

Say something good about Halo: Reach.

Ahahaha, accusing me of being a girl! Think up that one all by your lonesome did you?

You are one spectacular troll, you know that? If you're doing this unintentionally, it's a feat to remember.

Alright, I'll humour you for a while by taking the somewhat lateral way out.

One good thing about Halo: Reach is the Active Roster. If your friends are online and playing Reach, you can see this the moment you enter the main menu. You can queue to join them, so that when they finish their game you are partied up with them. When in the queue, you can also see details of their game, most usefully how long until it finishes. It's efficient. It's easy. It's a good feature, perhaps even an innovation.

Now I present a challenge to you:

When you try to rebut my point - as you inevitably will - don't try and redefine your parameters. You told me to "name one good thing about Halo: Reach", and I named something. I half expect you to say "lol I meant in gameplay, you stupid chimpanzee", but don't - the extent to which one enjoys the gameplay for any game at all is based around opinion, so "name one good thing about Reach's gameplay" is as impossible a question as "name one good thing about Metroid Fusion's gameplay" or "name one good thing about Homeworld's gameplay" - gameplay features I love, such as the 3D gameplay in the latter (an RTS), may be hated by someone else.

So as I said: "Multiplayer yo" ("you chimpanzee"). Again. Nice.
And no, I made the connection you were a girl since every chick goes for the "You're just arguing with me cuz you hate yourself and are just jealous cuz I'm hot 'n' stuff. No, I can't stick to a subject and yes, I fear forming arguments to defend things. Why do you ask? Also, thinking gives you wrinkles" defense.
I don't have to [pointless meandering and desperate attempt to avoid saying anything good about Halo:Reach that doesn't have to do with making multiplayer a more multiplayery experience]. You've shown me a perfect example of a Halo: Reach fan.

 

[zeratul123]

Great episode this week.

 

[Programmed_For_Damage]

That last joke about Playstation Move caught me totally off guard. I think the whole office heard me laugh out loud.

And I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who's had the Wraith predict where I'm going to be and lob a mountain of plasma on my head.

I'm surprised people are surprised Yahtzee liked it; it is actually good.

 

[Uberpig]

There was a nice amount of bile in this one.
And he thought the game was okay too, which was surprising.

 

[SAMAS]

Agreed. That was actually positive as far as ZP goes.

Now I won't buy the game because Yahtzee proved it sucks.

Yeah, you probably said that when you saw he did a review of Psychonauts.

 

[CoolTrixs]

Sorry to burt yaz bubble but The Halo franchise is actually continuing by a company called 343 industries. Hope i didnt make you look to bad.

 

[james castle]

He doesn't mention the multiplayer (which is basically what makes Halo Halo) because a game has to stand up on its own on single player? Really? Unless it's L4D apparently. Go watch his review where he says "It is fun as a shared social experience...Like I said it?s up to you whether this is all worth 50 bucks."

Apparently all the bashing of Bungie fanboys doesn't stop him from being a Valve fanboy.

 

[Vrach]

Surprisingly Fair. Didnt care too much about this, hope the space combat and jetpack is Bungie Teasing what they are gonna do now they aren't Microsofts Bitches!

From Microsoft to ActiVision. Granted, it probably feels nice to get a dick out of their arse, if only for the transition, but you know it's going right back up there again.

Anyway sorry Yahtzee, I quite fancy iron sights for a lot of weapons, makes sense not to fire from the hip. Not terribly averse to cover either, although the ME2-like cover based system (ie click a button to put back against cover) does belong in 3rd person shooters indeed if that's what you meant (though again, I like those too x.x). Mind you that's with PC in mind, the experience might not be as natural on the consoles, I wouldn't know.

OT though, Reach looks a bit generic but that's what Halo was always about. It does seem to be nicely executed so props for that, but I'll never be trying it out for myself, not a console fan.

 

[PortalParadox]

What I learned today:

I technically don't exist, seeing how I am a hardcore Half-Life fanboy and also think that Halo is a fantastic series.

Thank God for these forums, or I never would have realized that.

 

[ShatterPalm]

It must be pretty damned good if even Yahtee's saying it isn't bad. XD

 

[Kuchinawa212]

hehe
Noble Team
Noble deaths. Actually makes sense now =D

 

[CoolTrixs]

Also they were GOING to put a multiplayer space fight but because dumbasses and trolls (me to) have bombarded them with the same repeditive question whens it 8====D---coming out, and as we all know when they put it out on an early deadline they had to cut out stuff. In short. Were bungies pain in the ass.(or next time with any game be paitient so they can promise us awsome stuff.)

 

[Andy of Comix Inc]

I am actually surprised that he didn't tear it apart, but I still think that saying "a game has to stand up on single player alone" is a very silly statement. So is the quality of an MMO diminished because there's no mode to grind quests by yourself?

A game WITH single-player has to stand up on it alone. Obviously it doesn't count of it's a multiplayer-only genre or title.

Some games (Unreal Tournament 3, Universe at War, what have you) just throw in single-player because they can, without much forethought.

 

[Xarhs Vrentas]

What I learned today:

I technically don't exist, seeing how I am a hardcore Half-Life fanboy and also think that Halo is a fantastic series.

Thank God for these forums, or I never would have realized that.

Well, you either don't exist or you are far superior to other gamers, judging from the people on this forum

 

[SnakeCL]

Now, myself being anything but Bungie fanboy, or a Halo fanboy, or even a Microsoft fanboy, I liked Reach.

Until recently, I didn't even own a 360, was just a PS3 kind of guy. I decided to "jump in" when they started offering the Reach bundles, and the idea of a group of Spartans fighting their last desperate struggle appealed to me much more than the "I AM GOD"ness of Master Chief in the previous games.

Now, onto a primary point. I feel like if you're going to criticize Halo games for being "Generic" then you're effectively writing off almost all FPS games. We see small variations on a theme, with increased graphics, as technology marches forward, but its always essentially "get gun, kill things, unlock door, get to next area, repeat".

I guess my point is, I haven't really been enthralled with a "new" FPS game since Quake II or Half-Life (1). Everything thing else appears to be variations on a theme, but the fault Halo for it, you'd pretty much have to fault every other FPS that's come since.

 

[cheese_wizington]

Just for once fucking try the multiplayer, you could have at least tried split screen firefight withya friends.