Zero Punctuation: Halo Wars

[KDR_11k]

America? From what I read X-Blades was actually made by Russians. I think Two Worlds was made by the people who made Earth 2160 and they were from eastern Europe as well.

Anyway, that Halo Wars was retarded in campaign mode comes as no surprise, all RTSes with the possible exception of the Perimeter games (which have an active AI in the campaign and if you wait too long it'll outmass YOU) turn into an outmassing contest in the campaign because usually the enemy has a static unit set that doesn't grow like yours so building up means inevitable victory (unless the game throws some arbitrary goal at you). I stop bothering with the campaign in an RTS after the novelty wears off and go for skirmishes instead. No need for patience in those, in PvP an RTS really turns into an action game with the ability to royally screw yourself over in the buildup phase.

 

[Yegargeburble]

unskippable guy wasn't TOO bad, it just sounded like he was trying to be like yahtzee. halo wars part was pretty good. i don't blame his for hating strategy games. the only one i ever liked was fire emblem.

Fire Emblem games are the only type of strategy games I am good at...(them, FFT, and Shining Force, but the latter two to a lesser extent).

It was an interesting review, but I have to say I laughed the hardest at the imp thingy at the end. It was just so odd.

 

[SgtFlaman]

I can't take this anymore!

lol

 

[Elader]

The whole crossover thing was great! I am an RTS fan however, I had hoped that he'd do a DoW II review thanks to Relic's surprising showing in the March Mayhem. Maybe someday.

 

[AceofSpadesCard]

omg...if you didnt watch the ENTIRE thing...you missed amazingness...nuff said...great episode, yahtzee, even if i really did enjoy Halo Wars thouroughly...

 

[Stabby Joe]

This episode was really interesting in its own merit IE first we get Unskippable review, then Yahtzee reviews an RTS and then... what? Gremlins?

 

[WolfMage]

Very well done, and I think that Unskippable and Zero Punctuation should have more guest episodes, but only from each others show, as all the others are pretty snooze worthy.
Also, should make an entire episode where Yahtzee does Unskippable alone, and Graham and Paul should do their own ZP episode without Yahtzee.
Yeah, it'd be awesome.

 

[Amax29]

Funny I also thought Halo 3 was a begginers quide to rts games

 

[finalfantasyrules77]

extremly funning yet again llol
but it made me confused with the first bit who was that dude llol

 

[CakeDragon]

Yay for the Unskippable cameo

 

[Emendo5]

hehehe, I just knew Unskippable would come into ZP this week, sorry john, but you just can't beat Yahtzee.

 

[Rodger]

Two great reviews. I actually thought Graham's review was pretty good. The review at the end there came out of nowhere too so that was interesting.

...Huh. Well those comments were rather generic. Can't have that now. Well, Graham might have went a teeny bit overboard with the picture references but I liked the part where Kratos and...err...whatshername were arguing about her game. As for Halo Wars, I'm pretty sure thats not the only game with a silly timed mission like that. I can't think of any specific examples but it does get rather silly when you've more or less completed the mission and yet you STILL have the clock counting down. Actually, I hate timed missions in RTS games entirely because I have a tendency to fail over and over and I will continue to hate them for it. I don't get missions to rescue troops either for that matter because I'll often waste a hell of a lot more troops trying to do so.

By the way, I see Cross Edge's release on the horizon *evil grin*

 

[Enlong]

I think I would have liked the opening better if he didn't try to do it Yahtzee-style. Whenever you hear "triple-cunted hooker," you know exactly what's in store for you. The opening would have been better suited at the end. Shame to say it, but no one can do Yahtzee but Yahtzee. It was, however, a valiant attempt.

That was the point, frankly. If you remember this week's Unskippable, Grahm was saying to Yahtzee that Zero Punctuation was an easy show to do, so he was doing it ZP-style to prove his point. However, when he got to the music, he ran out of steam, and Yahtzee was able to take over.

 

[yourbeliefs]

Quite good. Of course, the rant at the end was the best part. ALL RTS players have experienced that at one time or another. And the Chinese thing was also great.

 

[Zivlok]

Loved it. I was impressed by how long Graham's bit went on. I mean, he had a good number of images, and even some minor animation and such, so, technically, it was pretty great. I'm used to Graham's voice, so I found his altered voice hilarious (and a joke in and of itself), as well as all the many, many, many digs at Yahtzee. Really, Graham's bit was only that funny if you've watched all the ZP vids multiple times, but, well, most people here have, and if they haven't, WHY THE HELL NOT?

As for Yahtzee's review, I loved his diatribe at the end, but the rest of it was usual Yahtzee fare - humorous and a highlight of Wednesday's, but not Earth-shattering. Really, I don't think Yahtzee will ever manage to be as hilarious as he was in the Prince of Persia Retrospective, but his stuff is pretty much always good.

I was disappointed that Graham made no slights at Yahtzee's mum, but, hey. Also, loved the Imp's bit at the end. Also also, the second or so image in the credit sequence where the imp tackles Yahtzee from behind NEEDS to be Rule 34'd.

I can't think of too much else - Graham obviously put a lot of work into making his 2 minute review (ZP knock-offs are very time-consuming to make, and he's got a comedy website, a video series on the Escapist, and a job), whenever Yahtzee yells it's pretty much guaranteed to be hilarious, and a nice show of support for Unskippable during the credits.

 

[Shadow Law]

I'm surprised he got angry at that one mission, for the last group of solders I had to save I took my bloody time with while taking everything out in the map.

 

[Signa]

Are the imps at the end doing a Yahtzee review on pedigree chow?

 

[Thrashalla]

Well done and nice April Fool's shot in the beginning. It's kind of sad how disoriented I got when someone else voice was thrown over the ZP animation; alas Yahtzee thou hast pampered us with thy dreamy Aussie accent these long months. I could not agree more about Halo Wars and I hate to make your prediction true by adding this last part, but you should definitely try other RTS games in their native mouse selecting, unit-hot keying, PC glory. In the end you will probably still find that the "strategy" of building the biggest shit-kicking armour unit and rolling across the whole map will work best...but the build up is at least distracting rather than frustrating and might shine some light on the permavirgin attraction to the genre.

 

[Freedon Nad]

Rly, that mission Yahtzee complained about? Freaking hell it's lame. I watched my friend playing. So here how it goes AND MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS:

so three Flood's bases are blocking off three groups of troops that have Spartans and maybe some heavy armour attached. So you build the base, clear the flood (possibly loosing more troops than rescuing) and then lead the whole bunch of tits back. So my roomate leads the last group back. Ant then there is one Spartan that's not at the LZ, but a stone throw away (stuck behing his base's turret). MISSION FAILED, F-YOU. Smooth, real smooth

 

[gunluva]

Eh, the review was kinda bland. The ending where he talks about the mission was really the only interesting portion, imo.