I get your syncretic fractal ludonarrative babblings Yahtzee. I do. It's one of my gripes about the new Zelda, where you're immediately told that the world is at stake and you have to go save it, despite knowing nothing about it and caring about no one yet. Compare it to OOT or Wind Waker, where you start out on a smaller quest that gets progressively bigger and of more importance as you explore more of the world, and by that time you care because you have a weird-cute fish fiancee or a weird-cute bird person fiancee.
The point is that Zelda is only good when weird furries try to ride your lap BEFORE you hear about Gannon and his BS. 7/10.
Also Tom Clancy's cock was probably gray before he died, just going out on a limb here.