Zero Punctuation: Kirby's Epic Yarn

[spwatkins]

... Also, it's pretty terrible that the use of the word "epic" to just mean "cool" is being reinforced more and more.

I remember when this happened to the word "awesome".

 

[Sneftel]

...but my feeling is that a game whose quest is over halfway through -- with a whole bunch of optional levels remaining, and interior design your only remaining motivation to play them -- has its sights slightly misaligned.

You mean, like Braid?

 

[daxterx2005]

According to Yahtzee I'm a big fat pink retard who likes shit rubbed in my eyes.
I'm okay with this.

 

[Cid Silverwing]

Somehow I figured he wasn't going to like Kirby but kids these days are lame.

This x a trillion.

Curious selection even for you, though, Yahtzee me ol' mate. Not running out of games to hate, I hope?

 

[KorLeonis]

Couldn't care less about Kirby game thing, but cumsprouts is replacing spawn as my word for children. The Borg had the right idea, maturation chambers, lock em away out of sight til they are actually people.

 

[TotalHobNob]

I despise little kids too. and funny review this week.

 

[DTWolfwood]

o a righteously funny ZP this one is.

To be fair a 5 yo can play and beat this game. I don't believe games of old that catered to 5 yo were all that difficult neither. Less you're comparing pre-teen games to pre-school games.

 

[xyrafhoan]

I enjoyed playing Epic Yarn (though it was only a rent) and the whole YOU CAN'T DIE EVER thing was annoying until you realize, getting hit seriously reams your ability to rank highly in any given level. It's not so much reaching the end of the level, but rather reaching the end after a collectathon of every goodie in the level. That said, I don't see any instance where Yahtzee has ever liked collectathons so I can see why the game garnered a rather "meh" response. Nor did I really find the game challenging enough at a base level to want to buy the game, either.

Still, it didn't really sound like he hated the game, either. This was a much less angry sounding review than say, MindJack.

 

[Android2137]

...Yahtzee, what if your hypothetical child really IS a girl?

Also, you can't die in this game? ...Maybe I should go check it out. What happens if you fall down a bottomless pit or into the lava pool?

 

[mrhateful]

Come on give us DA2 review, I want to hear you hate on it

 

[GxRacer]

That was probably the most brutal review for a video game ever and that's saying something for Yahtzee's reviews.

 

[Madara XIII]

If this review won't be positive, I will kill you O_O!
*watched*
Aw. But it's so cute, Yahtzee! That should render it immune to scrutiny by default!

That logic only applies to the fairy tale world!

I Loved Yahtzee's review of this. Seriously you really don't die!

WTF!?!?!

TEACH KIDS SOME FAILURE DAMMIT!! It's what inspired us older gamers to do better at a game.

What would Battletoads be with infinite health?
What would Altered beasts be with limitless continues?

Crap what would Mario, Sonic or Megaman be like if they couldn't die!?

Challenge the little buggers Nintendo. You did it so well to us in the past, I think this generation deserves just as much a kick in the ass as we got.

Wario's been in games where you can't die and that's never stopped his game career. Just saying.

And speaking of complaints about not dying, I find it hypocritical of how Yahtzee says the same thing about not being able to die in this game yet in previous reviews, he's mentioned that a "lives system" should be obsolete so anyone can finish a game. Kinda contradictory aint it?

So you want to die in games so they can be challenging but you think "lives systems" are obsolete? Make your mind Croshaw! What do you want games to be?! EASY OR HARD?!

Wario however while well known amongst gamers isn't that big a name to the "casual audience" now a days.

Secondly what someone else said. He feels that the lives system is obsolete because you have to start your progress all the way back from the beginning. (Ex: Sonic) My pet peeve with that was at least let me restart the world instead of the entire goddamn game!!!!

Idk though maybe he's used to the infinite live system.
I for one however am in favor of the lives system. Except in the Super Mario World or Megaman Sense in which you have to restart a whole level when you lose all your lives rather than the whole game like Sonic did.

Good points over all. Sadly I think the DIE or FAILURE element needs to be present within a game if necessary. You want to punish your players brutally, but not to the point where they'll quit out right. No you need to savor their pain and discouragement in small incriments. Bit by delicious bit... MWAHAHAHAHAHAA

 

[SickBritKid]

Yahtzee, if you think Fox News is "mainstream", then I wonder what you'd think if you watched CNN, MSNBC, CBS, or ABC. Aka the "If you don't support Barack Obama in every way, shape, or form, then you're a fucking racist!" media...

 

[SickBritKid]

Though, I must say, if this game's as bad as you make it out to be, then I can't help but be disgusted with you.

I, myself, enjoy challenging games. And if Epic Yarn has no challenge, which I was hoping that it would because I though the concept could be pretty damn sweet, then that's just one more reason I'm thankful that I have an XBox 360 instead of a Wii.

These days, I wonder what a child would do if confronted by, say, the final levels of Super Mario Brothers 3 or Super Mario world. God help them if they played Devil May Cry...

 

[RamirezDoEverything]

"A game shouldn't be afraid to tell you, YOU FUCKED UP, when I was a kid, they did it with fucking fanfare and rubbed shit in your eyes, AND THAT'S HOW WE LIKED IT!"

This is why I love ZP. He states the truth in out-fucking-landish ways.

 

[Darkauthor81]

First of all, YES someone who also hates children and isn't afraid to say so.

Further proof that the Wii truly is meant for childeren. First adult who I see playing this game will get a lollypop and a colorful cap with a propeller on top from me.

I love Epic Yarn. It's so cute and it's quaintly fun. On long hard days of wanting to strangle customers I come home, get under a blanket, poor a cup of coffee and play games like these. It's my way of telling a angry psychotic world to go abuse someone else for a while, I'm on break. Now, give me my damn lollipop!

 

[SlothfulCobra]

... Also, it's pretty terrible that the use of the word "epic" to just mean "cool" is being reinforced more and more.

I remember when this happened to the word "awesome".

It made more sense with "awesome," although it is a bit of a shame that word was cheapened, but "epic" had a more specific meaning, it was supposed to be a noun meaning a sort of long narrative following a legendary hero.

Kirby's no Odysseus, and Meta Knight and King Dedede are no Scylla and Charybdis

 

[Okysho]

This game was pretty good, until I tried doing those little mini-games those apartment renters make you do. Holy shit, those things are frustrating and awful. And all you get for doing them was wallpaper I wasn't going to use, more money that I didn't need, and some points towards 100% which doesn't really mean anything important. Yay, I got 100%. So what? Once again I wasted my time playing something unenjoyable for something that when I look back on it now, it means fuck all.

Rest of the game was pretty fun though.

Also, it looks like Epic Yarn took everything Sakurai couldn't put into SSBB adventure mode and threw it into one big game. I know HAL entertainment are notorious for secrets and backtracking, but FUCK!

Well, it didn't. It was made by Good Feel, not HAL. Thanks for playing though!

Epic Yarn was made by Feel Good AND HAL. Kirby isn't Nintendo's property, it's Masahiro Sakurai's, the owner of HAL who "technically" went 3rd party after finishing Brawl, but still only makes games for Nintendo.

yeah... This is Sakurai's doing...

 

[jonyboy13]

So EA payed so much that even Yahtzee can't say anything about DA2 huh? Lovely.

Anyway, if the game is not a challenge then it's poo. I say we let kids play DMC and not give them food until they're done.

 

[Dr Snakeman]

I still want this game even if it is short and easy.

Short and easy. Like a promiscuous dwarf.


Sorry, I just had to.

Anyway, good video, funny like always. Don't have a Wii, though, and I don't plan to get one.