Zero Punctuation: Mass Effect
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
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BUT IT OFFENDS MY SENSE OF COMPLETION TO LEAVE THINGS UNKILLEDshihku7 said:For those who hate the Mako levels, I recommend just driving past the enemies instead of killing them all. It's tempting to kill everything you come across since you get XP for it, but just driving on will save you from a lot of headaches
Eventually I found out that charging into enemies and running over everything while shooting wildly until I get to them actually works pretty well. And I also found out that you have a cannon instead of just the machine gun. It was pretty good after that.
But my god, they could have used some sort of training for that stupid thing.
Great points especially the nerd bashing but i deffinitly take it with a grain of salt because a good story is my crack. I love great plots and good romance so mass effect was so my game, but understandable it was definitively more like a mod of KTOR, but with alot more awesome. None the less great work love your reviews.
I think the only thing that bothers me isn't the commentary Yahtzee makes, as I found the game spectacular, but the flock of drones falling to his feet to agree that ME was crap when so many shitty games have been released this year to less flak. ME at least met it's goal of being a new form of RPG to try out, and if it's not your cup of tea, it simply isn't.
Just get out of the mako and kill them. That part of the game works better and you get 3 times the xp for killing things on foot. Once you get some decent guns (Spectre gear) you actually do more damage on foot.Gab said:BUT IT OFFENDS MY SENSE OF COMPLETION TO LEAVE THINGS UNKILLEDshihku7 said:For those who hate the Mako levels, I recommend just driving past the enemies instead of killing them all. It's tempting to kill everything you come across since you get XP for it, but just driving on will save you from a lot of headaches
Eventually I found out that charging into enemies and running over everything while shooting wildly until I get to them actually works pretty well. And I also found out that you have a cannon instead of just the machine gun. It was pretty good after that.
But my god, they could have used some sort of training for that stupid thing.
About the Mako...
For the first few minutes the controls drove me insane.
And then I realized that the reason I was going insane is that they use the EXACT SAME control scheme for the vehicle as they do for Shepard. Left stick is facing, right stick is move. Once I clued in the Mako control became a snap. You drive the Mako just like you drive Shepard except the steering is slower.
The problem with this approach is that it's hard to wrap your mind around the control scheme for two VERY different modes of transportation being identical. They're not at all alike. Holding the right stick forward and adjusting facing with the left feels so natural for a character, but for a vehicle with six wheels that looks so much like a tank I was expecting more tank-like controls. Left stick controls the left wheels, right controls right wheels. Pull both sticks back to back up, push both forward to go forward, and alternate to turn. Would've been WAY more intuitive given the vehicle design.
For the first few minutes the controls drove me insane.
And then I realized that the reason I was going insane is that they use the EXACT SAME control scheme for the vehicle as they do for Shepard. Left stick is facing, right stick is move. Once I clued in the Mako control became a snap. You drive the Mako just like you drive Shepard except the steering is slower.
The problem with this approach is that it's hard to wrap your mind around the control scheme for two VERY different modes of transportation being identical. They're not at all alike. Holding the right stick forward and adjusting facing with the left feels so natural for a character, but for a vehicle with six wheels that looks so much like a tank I was expecting more tank-like controls. Left stick controls the left wheels, right controls right wheels. Pull both sticks back to back up, push both forward to go forward, and alternate to turn. Would've been WAY more intuitive given the vehicle design.
Well Yahtzee, I've got to say it's time to bid you farewell, just like every reviewer I've faithfully looked up to for a good idea of what's good for gaming. It's not that you've lost your edge. This review is admittedly less funny than most, but it's not like you're not preserving a certain status-quo or losing at the funnier\suckier ratio.
It's the way you review this game. You're reluctant. You're avoiding the content. The only thing I could agree with is the driving, because obviously you've experienced this, but you touch so little else, and every piece of content the game throws at you is accepted as a chore you must fulfill. You just want to finish it, tuck on a check mark, make a bad pun involving penises and get your money. You've lost your immersion as well as your interest, which is odd, considering you've reviewed Assassin's Creed with the patience of a Zen archaeologist, or something.
Suffice to say that by becoming another zombie in an army of dead-line reviewers, you've lost credibility with those who appreciate good, well rounded content. You admitting to not playing the side-quests makes things even worse, as those were things that rounded up the game and gave it a little more color than just resentfully pulling yourself through the story, hating every last thing that prevents you from finishing it. But let's face it: getting from point alpha to point omega doesn't really work in a game with some open ended content. And hey, since when are RPGs _not_ wordy?
And besides, I know you've played through most Final Fantasy games and some Breath of Fire, so don't give me that JRPG hating crap.
It's the way you review this game. You're reluctant. You're avoiding the content. The only thing I could agree with is the driving, because obviously you've experienced this, but you touch so little else, and every piece of content the game throws at you is accepted as a chore you must fulfill. You just want to finish it, tuck on a check mark, make a bad pun involving penises and get your money. You've lost your immersion as well as your interest, which is odd, considering you've reviewed Assassin's Creed with the patience of a Zen archaeologist, or something.
Suffice to say that by becoming another zombie in an army of dead-line reviewers, you've lost credibility with those who appreciate good, well rounded content. You admitting to not playing the side-quests makes things even worse, as those were things that rounded up the game and gave it a little more color than just resentfully pulling yourself through the story, hating every last thing that prevents you from finishing it. But let's face it: getting from point alpha to point omega doesn't really work in a game with some open ended content. And hey, since when are RPGs _not_ wordy?
And besides, I know you've played through most Final Fantasy games and some Breath of Fire, so don't give me that JRPG hating crap.
I liked this review, in my opinion a return to form after the last two. But well yeah, this is a Bioware game, it wasn't exactly going to be dialogue-light. Which I personally don't mind, since I love stuff like Fallout, Baldur's Gate, KotOR and Planescape: Torment. Heck , I even like Icewind Dale II. So I wouldn't quite hold it against Mass Effect unless the dialogue has been done poorly or is just plain boring.
But, amazingly, I also like Nipponian RPGs for the simple reason that they come with tons of easter eggs and secrets, there's hordes of micro-management to do in order to break the game and sometimes it's just plain old, dumb fun to watch the over-the-top story, weapons and attacks the folks at, say, Square-Enix, come up with. For example, I enjoy toying around with a JRPG's ultimate weapon (which is usually ludicrously oversized and often several buildings explode while the character's unsheathing it before the actual attack (combo)) much more than Xrannr's Blade of Unspectacularness which comes with an intriguing backstory but is effectively nothing more than a Longsword +5 (with ooo +4 on enemy AC on a successful D20) and looks and animates like every longsword in the game, possibly with a different colour pallette.
To each their own. On that note:
-> Rebochan, hi
"As for the feminine men, I secretely think the reason guys go ballistic over them so much is they are secretely afraid of being attracted to them. Oh, and then there's the fact that using all characters from one series, including two that aren't even close to feminine (and Kuja has a plot reason for the poofy skirt), doesn't do much for showing off a spectrum of JRPGS, now does it?"
No, not really. We are usually just plain annoyed at having to roleplay as one of those ladies AGAIN. Feminine-men-who-are-totally-normal-and-accepted-by-their-equally-over-the-top-peers-in-their-fictional-worlds-btw have been hogging the spotlights in JRPGs over the past few years and as JRPGs typically center around a single protagonist, it'd be nice to see a little more protagonist variation rather than the next make-up revolution (Will he use mascara AND pink lip gloss, or not? Does he use an extra conditioner after taking a bath under the village waterfall, or not? Now on Next Big JRPG!). Why not make an actual woman the protagonist for a change? Aya Brea did pretty well, I remember.
Fortunately, things are (gradually) changing. I really enjoyed being able to switch characters in Final Fantasy XII, and playing Okami was an awesome experience. Maybe the day will come when JRPGs took a look at the western archetype, and offer a character creation (or select) screen at startup. I'd certainly appreciate that.
But, amazingly, I also like Nipponian RPGs for the simple reason that they come with tons of easter eggs and secrets, there's hordes of micro-management to do in order to break the game and sometimes it's just plain old, dumb fun to watch the over-the-top story, weapons and attacks the folks at, say, Square-Enix, come up with. For example, I enjoy toying around with a JRPG's ultimate weapon (which is usually ludicrously oversized and often several buildings explode while the character's unsheathing it before the actual attack (combo)) much more than Xrannr's Blade of Unspectacularness which comes with an intriguing backstory but is effectively nothing more than a Longsword +5 (with ooo +4 on enemy AC on a successful D20) and looks and animates like every longsword in the game, possibly with a different colour pallette.
To each their own. On that note:
-> Rebochan, hi
"As for the feminine men, I secretely think the reason guys go ballistic over them so much is they are secretely afraid of being attracted to them. Oh, and then there's the fact that using all characters from one series, including two that aren't even close to feminine (and Kuja has a plot reason for the poofy skirt), doesn't do much for showing off a spectrum of JRPGS, now does it?"
No, not really. We are usually just plain annoyed at having to roleplay as one of those ladies AGAIN. Feminine-men-who-are-totally-normal-and-accepted-by-their-equally-over-the-top-peers-in-their-fictional-worlds-btw have been hogging the spotlights in JRPGs over the past few years and as JRPGs typically center around a single protagonist, it'd be nice to see a little more protagonist variation rather than the next make-up revolution (Will he use mascara AND pink lip gloss, or not? Does he use an extra conditioner after taking a bath under the village waterfall, or not? Now on Next Big JRPG!). Why not make an actual woman the protagonist for a change? Aya Brea did pretty well, I remember.
Fortunately, things are (gradually) changing. I really enjoyed being able to switch characters in Final Fantasy XII, and playing Okami was an awesome experience. Maybe the day will come when JRPGs took a look at the western archetype, and offer a character creation (or select) screen at startup. I'd certainly appreciate that.
Hey guys, you might want to look into the CAD rule... it's a method for making CAD actually amusing... and I'm wondering if anyone named their char Adrian Shepard, that would also be amusing... "So THAT'S what happened to him!".
Anyway, I can't help but love these reviews... Yahtzee, you are one of a kind... a professional game reviewer with BALLS. It's so refreshing to see you rip into a game, no matter how good it may or may not be, because every other reviewer just gushes over every over-hyped failed abortion of a game in varying degrees, and just brushes everything under the carpet as they tack some arbitrary score onto it. You tell me what I want to hear from those hype-mongers... what SUCKS about a game. Thank you so much for bringing to light, in hilarious detail, what others devote a weak little paragraph to.
Moving on, I'm actually pleased in an odd sort of way that they at least TRIED with the dialogue. Since Oblivion's nauseating success, I, as a fan of western RPGs, have been quite afraid that other developers would follow in Bethesda's evil footsteps and condense RPG dialogue down to that same level of "See Dick. See Dick run. Run, Dick, Run!" While "WALLS OF TEXT/DIALOGUE in generic sci-fi setting #4429" is not the best way to do things either, I'll take it over "Morrowind for Ritalin-inhaling retard children with a graphics fetish" any day of the week. The hair on the back of my neck still stands on end at the mention of Fallout 3, though...
Anyway, I can't help but love these reviews... Yahtzee, you are one of a kind... a professional game reviewer with BALLS. It's so refreshing to see you rip into a game, no matter how good it may or may not be, because every other reviewer just gushes over every over-hyped failed abortion of a game in varying degrees, and just brushes everything under the carpet as they tack some arbitrary score onto it. You tell me what I want to hear from those hype-mongers... what SUCKS about a game. Thank you so much for bringing to light, in hilarious detail, what others devote a weak little paragraph to.
Moving on, I'm actually pleased in an odd sort of way that they at least TRIED with the dialogue. Since Oblivion's nauseating success, I, as a fan of western RPGs, have been quite afraid that other developers would follow in Bethesda's evil footsteps and condense RPG dialogue down to that same level of "See Dick. See Dick run. Run, Dick, Run!" While "WALLS OF TEXT/DIALOGUE in generic sci-fi setting #4429" is not the best way to do things either, I'll take it over "Morrowind for Ritalin-inhaling retard children with a graphics fetish" any day of the week. The hair on the back of my neck still stands on end at the mention of Fallout 3, though...
Great show Yahtzee, you know what would be great to review, The Witcher, the title alone is worth a couple of gags. But it is really a seriously fun and addictive game.
I guess that could be the case, but I have a different theory, in fact, if any of you didn't get this before, you should slap yourselves on the forehead.Booze Zombie said:
They're not pandering to boys with these protagonists, they're pandering to that unavoidably creepy fanbase that builds up around every attractive (sometimes not so attractive) boy character. By that I mean: they're trying to sell it to the yaoi fangirls.
maybe that's what makes the comment section worth reading?
anyway, i wanted to talk about some people criticising him for not reviewing properly. They might have forgotten that these reviews are merely for entertainment, not real reviewing.
And for those that think yahtzee hates CAD, he critized it only for it's wall of text. He didn't say he hates CAD, just that wall of texts aren't a nice read.
anyway, i wanted to talk about some people criticising him for not reviewing properly. They might have forgotten that these reviews are merely for entertainment, not real reviewing.
And for those that think yahtzee hates CAD, he critized it only for it's wall of text. He didn't say he hates CAD, just that wall of texts aren't a nice read.
-> hickwarrior, hi
"And for those that think yahtzee hates CAD, he critized it only for it's wall of text. He didn't say he hates CAD, just that wall of texts aren't a nice read."
Relative. Walls of text shouldn't be a problem if the walls of text are well-written and interesting. Ever read the classic comic series "Blake and Mortimer" by Edgar P. Jacobs? It features walls of texts which make those of CAD look brief and concise, yet once you start reading them, you get sucked into the story and wouldn't want it any other way. Same goes for Planescape: Torment, where examining objects sometimes turns into a story of its own.
"And for those that think yahtzee hates CAD, he critized it only for it's wall of text. He didn't say he hates CAD, just that wall of texts aren't a nice read."
Relative. Walls of text shouldn't be a problem if the walls of text are well-written and interesting. Ever read the classic comic series "Blake and Mortimer" by Edgar P. Jacobs? It features walls of texts which make those of CAD look brief and concise, yet once you start reading them, you get sucked into the story and wouldn't want it any other way. Same goes for Planescape: Torment, where examining objects sometimes turns into a story of its own.