Zero Punctuation: MindJack

[FFMaster]

Thanks a ton Square, for making another badly done game. As if FF XIV wasn't a bad enough way to end 2010. Piece of advice: Stop making games for a while and focus your efforts on single projects. I think you need it at this point.

MindJack was NOT developed by Square, it was published by them. It was developed by feelplus (started out as a MS development team to aid mistwalker according to wikipedia, so take that with a pinch of salt), they have co-developed a few other games that peopel think have been made by square but actually have only been published by them

 

[kebab4you]

Tell you the truth, the multi player that was described did kinda sound like fun, but then again I do like to grief other peoples stuff.

 

[FROGGEman2]

I'm crying with laughter. Good show.

Also: Yobbos. Feeling Australian, are we?

 

[Tom Phoenix]

Mindjack, huh? I guess it's possible that the developers watched "Gundamjack" one too many times.

 

[similar.squirrel]

I would also like to say I am not brain damaged. Just putting it out there.

Calumon: Why would they think that?

Possibly because of Calumon, Calumon.

OT: Between this and the Big Picture, there's a lot of hilarious bad vibes making the rounds.

 

[badoli]

"Leave some innovation for us, daVinci!"

Made my day.

 

[AssassinJoe]

Very clear indeed Yahtzee, not that I had high hopes for this game anyway. Actually I am a little disappointed they couldn't make good use of the core concept.

I was disappointed with what they decided to call the game. MindJack? That's terrible! Especially considering that it's called MindHack in the game.

 

[scw55]

So my prediction of "Mind Wank" is pretty much accurate for this game.

(Jack-off being a euthism for wanking-off in Britain).


The suggestion of some etheral parasite using people as hosts while does sound interesting, it would of course fail in a video game if the UI is mentally challenged. The review does imply that the game developers wanted to create a new form of earthquake resistant skyscraper out of Dutch Edam Cheese, but lacked the technology and tools to make it work.

 

[Veldt Falsetto]

I had a feeling this game would've been pretty interesting, turns out I was wrong. I felt it could've been a sort of, 3D, cover shooter with Abe's Odysee elements. I dunno, too bad it's awful.

 

[SABRENOSE]

Wow this was the meanest Yahtzee review I have ever seen...he might be a little mad this week.

 

[ILTE7]

But Yahtzee shouldn't have made it sound like Square Enix is somehow developing this game, when they published it. Square Enix never develops an ugly game. A bad game, yes. But an ugly one? No way.

I totally agree - while I have no problem with Yahtzee laying into a game and tearing it a new one he has several times bashed square enix (which he's fine to do) for a game that they have not made. published - yes - actually had a hand in the desgin etc. no.

me thinks his bias agaisnt that company (steming from a hatred for jrpgs) gets the better of him...


...just sayin'

 

[Kyle Gabriel]

I haven't played any Square Enix's games since The Last Remnant since I want to leave that publisher in a good note...

Boy did i come to enjoy that decision...

Edit: I was gonna say FFX-2 but i quickly remembered TLR...

 

[BrownGaijin]

What was with the naked fat female cousin joke? I feel dense because I didn't get it. I went back to the beginning a few times, but I didn't see any setup or anything. Am I missing something?

The imp is unable to make sense of YZ interpretations due to inbreeding.

(At least he didn't put an American ball cap on the him)

OT: I laughed the hardest at the short bus joke. Does that make me a bad person?

 

[Rayansaki]

So... did he like it? I couldn't tell.

Yes he did like it. He said it wasn't quite as good as portal but was still probably his second favorite game ever made.

Angry Joe said this was the very worst game he ever reviewed. Wonder if Yahtzee considers this above or bellow Too Human

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

But Yahtzee shouldn't have made it sound like Square Enix is somehow developing this game, when they published it. Square Enix never develops an ugly game. A bad game, yes. But an ugly one? No way.

I totally agree - while I have no problem with Yahtzee laying into a game and tearing it a new one he has several times bashed square enix (which he's fine to do) for a game that they have not made. published - yes - actually had a hand in the desgin etc. no.

me thinks his bias agaisnt that company (steming from a hatred for jrpgs) gets the better of him...


...just sayin'

Oddly enough, Square Enix published his GOTY last year. Just Cause 2. I don't see him mistaking them for the developer in that case.

 

[Matt Shi]

Mindjack? I'm surprised Yahtzee hasn't reviewed Majin and the Forsaken Kingdom. Majain is a great game and seems like something Yahtzee would like.

 

[vxicepickxv]

I want to see how terrible this is. When does it go on sale at gamestop for a handshake?

 

[MrGalactus]

MindWHAT? Never heard of the bloody thing. Squeenix have a horrible habit of never advertising anything without the words Final and Fantasy in it's name.

 

[Something Amyss]

Man, I completely forgot about this game.

From the sound of things, I'm probably better off for it.