Zero Punctuation: MindJack

[MattAn24]

Gettin' REAL sick of these ZP reviews of games nobody's fucking heard of. REVIEW FUCKING SONIC COLORS ALREADY!!! SOMEBODY needs to give that horrible piece of shit game the buttfucking it deserves. Do it, Yahtzee, PLEASE!!

You complain about him reviewing games no ones heard of.... Then ask him to review 'sonic colors'?

Hypocrisy, thy name is 'Gaming King'.

Bullshit. You probably just don't play Wii games. It's a huge game, hailed by retards as Sonic returning to form, which couldn't be farther from the truth. People say it is good, but it's not.

YOU say it's not good. That's all. YOU. It's personal opinion. Not saying others don't hate it too or whatever, but your personal view of gaming means absolutely fuck all to anyone else. People will play what THEY want to play. Who the fuck are you to dictate?

 

[roostuf]

Another funny and compelling review, and i just dont under stand why people cant see he is exaggerating and making fun of the game because he's being paid too.

 

[Apostacious]

Yatzee always confuses the developer for the publisher? it works in his advantage though, he can throw shit at the game based on games released previously by the same publisher, but in his reviews, it just sounds like he has no idea of publisher/developer differences and makes him sound like a dumbass.

mid jack was developed by feelplus and published by Square Enix, I have no idea what final fantasy "looking like shit" has to do with mind jack.
Me thinks yatzee was Mindjackingoff when he wrote this review.

 

[migo]

LOL@ Like Chinese parenting but less nightmarish.

 

[sarahvait]

Gettin' REAL sick of these ZP reviews of games nobody's fucking heard of. REVIEW FUCKING SONIC COLORS ALREADY!!! SOMEBODY needs to give that horrible piece of shit game the buttfucking it deserves. Do it, Yahtzee, PLEASE!!

You complain about him reviewing games no ones heard of.... Then ask him to review 'sonic colors'?

Hypocrisy, thy name is 'Gaming King'.

Bullshit. You probably just don't play Wii games. It's a huge game, hailed by retards as Sonic returning to form, which couldn't be farther from the truth. People say it is good, but it's not.

YOU say it's not good. That's all. YOU. It's personal opinion. Not saying others don't hate it too or whatever, but your personal view of gaming means absolutely fuck all to anyone else. People will play what THEY want to play. Who the fuck are you to dictate?

Besides Gaming King, as he stated in the Alone in the Dark vid, he's not your "sweary ninja for hire". So I doubt he's going to rip it a new asshole just because you want him to. But hey, Sonic Colors could be on his to-do list at some point, so maybe you'll get your wish by default. Unless he likes it. Can't say he will in my opinion. Haven't played it myself, but this is ZP and a Sonic game we're talking about, so...

 

[tkioz]

I love it when he reviews a game that is unambiguously bad, because that's when he is at his most funny.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Snip

You didn't mention that the game has a co-op mode that is broken beyond repair. The second player normally is supposed to take control of the "faceless female robot" but starts each and every level in the mind projection mode. There are numerous times if the player doesn't jump into the girls head a nano second after the level starts they will be trapped behind a moving door/truck/random pile of junk that prevents the player from back tracking through the game. So your stuck their till the luck fairy comes in and just flings you into your characters body, often after the AI has made them recreate a charge during the first world war.

 

[Nacimota]

You fucking idiot. How can you complain about the story when you didn't even finish the fucking game?

You don't have to eat the entire turd to know that it's not a crab cake.

 

[HandsomeZer0]

It seems like a horrible version of second sight..

 

[Cecilthedarkknight_234]

I have played it, square made a brown/gray bad looking game. Dear lord it's the end of the world, at least final fantasy 13 was pretty to look at.

 

[Kurt Horsting]

And this was picked instead of Marvel vs Capcom 3? I feel robbed.

I know that MvC3 wouldn't be his thing at all (with mvc3 being a competitive multiplayer game with almost no story, and having Nolan North voice work for the title) but it would be fun to see him rip into it.

Imho, Mvc3 is the most pure fun game made this year. It is extremely silly and colorful, everything in the game is over the top, the game mechanics are inclusive without sacrificing depth, and has one of the most diverse casts in fighting game history. Also, a majority of the cast on the Capcom side he has done reviews for, so it would be nice to see what he thinks of their translation into a fighting game (Spencer, Ameterasu, Chris, Wesker, Dante, Trish, etc) . Same goes for Spider-man how his web swinging mechanics work in a 2d fighter or what he thinks. I'm just saying it would be interesting.

Instead, this week's review goes to a game no one heard or cared about. And turns out this unknown title is a piece of shit. It was fun to watch, but the review felt like a waste of time. At least I won't make the mistake of buying a shitty 3rd person shooter that I had no intention of playing anyway.

 

[FallenMessiah88]

This game seems very...dry! Yeah i don't know how to explain it, but just by looking at footage from it i can feel my soul slowly being drained.

 

[Therumancer]

The abillity to jump into someone's single player game and cause havoc seems like it was lifted from "Demon's Souls", just not well implemented. I wouldn't even give them points for being unique there.

That said, the game does sound pretty bad, and I'll definatly be avoiding it. Shooters aren't my genere of choice anyway, and when I get in the mood to next play one, this almost definatly won't be it.

 

[Dfskelleton]

I'm glad I've never heard of this. You've made it pretty clear that I don't want to play it. Besides, I've never really enjoyed anything by Square Enix.

 

[Producer]

That one was good. It's been a while.

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

Damn. This looked interesting.

Oh well. Another game I don't have to try to realize it sucks.

 

[Nacimota]

FUCKING HELL YAHTZEE WILL YOU STOP USING SUCH SHIT TERMS AS 'WELP' AND 'HURP DERP' THEY ARE THE MOST FAIL TERMS ON THE INTERNET AND YOU'RE JUST BECOMING A JOKE

Yeah it's almost as bad as people who post in all caps.

 

[Gothproxy]

Thank God for Yahtzee. If not for him I probably would have gone out and gotten this game due to the fact that I actually enjoy most SquareEnix games. Too bad that even great publishers can let a giant turd slip through...

 

[bobainia]

I wouldn't even say the multiplayer idea is all that original. Didn't Demon's Souls do a very similar idea, except instead of taking on the enemies' body, you jumped in as a phantom?

 

[Zechnophobe]

Someone spoil it... is the Twist really that you play someone else mindjacking the main character? If so, that IS a cool twist. (Even if they did it horribly wrong).