Zero Punctuation: Monster Hunter Tri

[krgskks]

To all the people saying that they don't want to play a boring tutorial: Fine. You don't have to!
Just go directly into the online mode for the game and go hunting. But then don't get mad when you don't know how to do stuff (because you sure as hell didn't bother to read the manual) or people get mad at you for sucking.
What is it you say? Yahtzee doesn't like online multiplayer and so do you? Fine, solo that shit! Because... you know, you can if you want to!

As I said earlier, I like the game. I like Zero Punctuation. But this was just crappy and unfunny work. I could've written a much better episode, because there is oh-so much stuff you can make fun of. You can easily ramble about the flaws for 10 minutes and that's if you're Yahtzee.

 

[Addendum_Forthcoming]

Christ Yahtzee, did you even get past 2* village Quests?

Seriously, I can understand not spending more than 5 hours reviewing a turn-based RPG like FFXIII ... because what you see is what you get. But if you didn't even spend a couple of hours to take down the bigger monsters that's just a poor show.

I'm starting to get why Yahtzee doesn't like multiplayer in any game .... I think it has more to do with skill (or lack thereof) rather than a honest belief that a game should stand on it's singleplayer content.

Even if he truly believed that sentiment, the singleplayer campaign is fucking massive ... it is literally a game about boss battles over various multi-arena-d (to coin a word) battlefields. If that doesn't strike you as fun (as a gamer) then what the fuck is your problem?

'Game review' this ain't. Call me a fanboy, but I atleast give credit where credit is due. Monster Hunter Tri is a game of boss battles; challenging, unique, gnaw-on-nails frustrating boss battles. If that ain't enough for you then maybe you're not a gamer.

One of the biggest complaints I have against 'Portal' is the lack of a resounding feeling of success ... due to the fact that there is no climactic feel to overcoming a hurdle.

This is why Zelda (and the like) will always feel welcome in my heart and home as the archetypal puzzle solving-action genre game. Because it always had that boss-challenge epic at the end which is so necessary in videogames.

Well Monster Hunter tri is basically a game of Boss battles ... exhaustive, long, difficult boss battles that requires good timing, great reflexes and intelligent use of items. You know Yahtzee ... it plays like a fucking game.

If you can't appreciate it for that, or atleast tip your hat to a game that redefines classic gaming skills, I guess you're not much of a reviewer OR a gamer.

 

[Hipocracy]

There is a huge fan base for this game and there must be a reason for it right?

no, that is argumentum ad populum, also sight twilight.

 

[i don't know]

made my day like always

 

[Lawllerskater]

I think people are just /raging because Yahtzee doesn't like their stupid game. It's a stupid game. Get over it, you like a stupid game that is crap.

 

[Limos]

God Yahtzee. Usually I like you but I have to say this review reveals to me just how much of a biased prick you can be. Yes we get it, you don't like Japan, and you really don't like the Wii. You can stop beating a dead horse now and get over yourself. Monster Hunter is indeed very difficult, and clearly from your description you never bothered to progress past the the very first set of village quests. That was the tutorial. This is not a game for children Yahtzee, this is not some casual piece of shovelware.

This is Monster Hunter. The kind of game that will kick you in the balls repeatedly with hob-nailed boots just because it wants you to know just how much of a worthless prick you are.

That sea monster you mentioned is called the Lagiacrus. If you had bothered to keep going you would know that literally the very next thing you would be doing is Being sent to kill it. The gathering and hunting quests are maybe 1/3rd of the game altogether. They are filler designed to give you quick easy ways to get the bits you need to make your big shiny weapons and armor. And you need those big shiny weapons and armor because literally everything in the world can and will kill you at the drop of a hat.

You are not playing some pansy FPS where you can shrug off a salvo of bullets with nothing but your gritty facial hair and a one liner. You can't just crouch behind a rock and wait for your health to regenerate. If you stand still, if you screw up, if you come unprepared then the monster is going to take that rock and shove it up your ass. That monster you were so scared of is literally a miniboss in the lowest power bracket the game has to offer. If you go online then everything gets upgraded, and there are a dozen monsters bigger and badder than the Lagiacrus just waiting for you to come fuck with them. And then once you do that you get upgraded to Plus rank where you have to do it again except now they are even stronger than before, they have new attacks, and there are yet MORE giant baddies who make the last ones look like a bunch of prancing sissies having a tea party in the rose garden.

Since you have mentioned before that you hate people and have no friends you clearly didn't even bother to try the online portion. I can see why you would be discouraged by the game then since it is ultimately not a single player experience. This is not a matter of "Oh Yahtzee the single player game may suck but the multiplayer makes up for it!" No, this is a game designed to be played cooperatively. You and three other pricks versus a giant beastie from the dawn of time. The quests online are entirely different. You have to kill giant burrowing rock creatures that fling mud around and charge like a freight train, you have to fight off enormous living mountains while protecting the wooden ship from it's attacks using only ballista and cannons, you can climb on it's back while in mid fight and attack the thing from the inside after smashing your way through the armor on it's back.

As much as you may deride casuals and declare yourself the all seeing master of video games in this case you are blind. You just didn't have the stones to get involved in a game you were never going to admit could ever have anything going for it. You would not allow yourself to find a single good thing about a system that refuses to suck up to you.

So I say to you Yahtzee. You are a coward. Monster Hunter was too hardcore for you to handle.

No Yahtzee, you are the casuals.

 

[Potato21]

I think people are just /raging because Yahtzee doesn't like their stupid game. It's a stupid game. Get over it, you like a stupid game that is crap.

No, you`ve never played a great game and are basing your opinions off of others. Don`t be so stupid as to comment on something you`ve never tried.

 

[FreaK367]

Single platform games suck , do more multiplatform games please , so the review can appeal to more people, the Wii will never be a serious gaming system, and will never have games that are great.. it doesn't have the processing power to do anything useful. I think it goes PC > PS3 > 360 > Wii. I just wish more games were made for the PC.

Another one? Really?

Single platform games suck , do more multiplatform games please , so the review can appeal to more people, the Wii will never be a serious gaming system, and will never have games that are great.. it doesn't have the processing power to do anything useful. I think it goes PC > PS3 > 360 > Wii. I just wish more games were made for the PC.

*cough* fanboy *cough*

There are plenty of 'hardcore' games for Wii.

[sub]Ewww, I used 'hardcore'...[/sub]

I hate that word as well.

When it comes to gaming, I think these days, for new games, graphics should complete the package, a game needs to look great, with good textures clean edges, High Definiton.. the Wii fails miserably when it comes to graphics, they put little effort into that aspect of the console due to the unique controllers, whereas the PS3 and the 360 both pimped their consoles for nice high definiton gaming.

Wii games can be fun, but for me, they will never be complete when they look that bad.

I put the PC before all consoles because they have the ability to easily surpass the consoles if you're willing to put the money into it, like proper gamers do.

And, the PS3 and 360 both have better games, a bigger choice.

 

[Lawllerskater]

I think people are just /raging because Yahtzee doesn't like their stupid game. It's a stupid game. Get over it, you like a stupid game that is crap.

No, you`ve never played a great game and are basing your opinions off of others. Don`t be so stupid as to comment on something you`ve never tried.

I've played it. I don't like it. It was stupid and boring. Quit whining, and so will I.

 

[milskidasith]

Single platform games suck , do more multiplatform games please , so the review can appeal to more people, the Wii will never be a serious gaming system, and will never have games that are great.. it doesn't have the processing power to do anything useful. I think it goes PC > PS3 > 360 > Wii. I just wish more games were made for the PC.

Another one? Really?

Single platform games suck , do more multiplatform games please , so the review can appeal to more people, the Wii will never be a serious gaming system, and will never have games that are great.. it doesn't have the processing power to do anything useful. I think it goes PC > PS3 > 360 > Wii. I just wish more games were made for the PC.

*cough* fanboy *cough*

There are plenty of 'hardcore' games for Wii.

[sub]Ewww, I used 'hardcore'...[/sub]

I hate that word as well.

When it comes to gaming, I think these days, for new games, graphics should complete the package, a game needs to look great, with good textures clean edges, High Definiton.. the Wii fails miserably when it comes to graphics, they put little effort into that aspect of the console due to the unique controllers, whereas the PS3 and the 360 both pimped their consoles for nice high definiton gaming.

Wii games can be fun, but for me, they will never be complete when they look that bad.

I put the PC before all consoles because they have the ability to easily surpass the consoles if you're willing to put the money into it, like proper gamers do.

And, the PS3 and 360 both have better games, a bigger choice.

The thing is, the wii games don't look bad. Monster Hunter doesn't look bad. Could it look better? Sure. Do the looks detract from the game? No.

Maybe I just have terrible eyes, but when the only difference I can tell between high definition games and SD games is that HD games have better looking wavy grass/background objects and if you get close enough, faces with a bit better shading, I just don't give a crap. I obviously don't want my games looking like early Xbox games or anything (Kotor, I love you, but you are ugly), but honestly, the difference is hardly apparent.

 

[Aura Guardian]

Single platform games suck , do more multiplatform games please , so the review can appeal to more people, the Wii will never be a serious gaming system, and will never have games that are great.. it doesn't have the processing power to do anything useful. I think it goes PC > PS3 > 360 > Wii. I just wish more games were made for the PC.

Another one? Really?

Single platform games suck , do more multiplatform games please , so the review can appeal to more people, the Wii will never be a serious gaming system, and will never have games that are great.. it doesn't have the processing power to do anything useful. I think it goes PC > PS3 > 360 > Wii. I just wish more games were made for the PC.

*cough* fanboy *cough*

There are plenty of 'hardcore' games for Wii.

[sub]Ewww, I used 'hardcore'...[/sub]

I hate that word as well.

When it comes to gaming, I think these days, for new games, graphics should complete the package, a game needs to look great, with good textures clean edges, High Definiton.. the Wii fails miserably when it comes to graphics, they put little effort into that aspect of the console due to the unique controllers, whereas the PS3 and the 360 both pimped their consoles for nice high definiton gaming.

Wii games can be fun, but for me, they will never be complete when they look that bad.

I put the PC before all consoles because they have the ability to easily surpass the consoles if you're willing to put the money into it, like proper gamers do.

And, the PS3 and 360 both have better games, a bigger choice.

And that's where I draw the line.

 

[Aura Guardian]

No Yahtzee, you are the casuals.

Well said man. Well said.

 

[Limos]

When it comes to gaming, I think these days, for new games, graphics should complete the package, a game needs to look great, with good textures clean edges, High Definiton.. the Wii fails miserably when it comes to graphics, they put little effort into that aspect of the console due to the unique controllers, whereas the PS3 and the 360 both pimped their consoles for nice high definiton gaming.

Can I mention really quickly that I despise this argument. I cannot tell the difference between High def and normal def. I don't find it to be important in any way to how much I enjoy the game. Most of the time I actually find it detrimental. Crisis, Gears of War, all of those game developers who put graphics before gameplay. I don't find anything about them enjoyable. Developers who think like you do are idiots. They don't care if their game is fun, only that it is pretty.

 

[scaily]

[/quote]I was hook by 2*. 3* is freaking awesome though (except the Barroth. Fuck that guy).[/quote]

let me guess he choo chooed you more than 3 times in a row more than one hunt XD i know what ya mean i hated him to

 

[Daystar Clarion]

When it comes to gaming, I think these days, for new games, graphics should complete the package, a game needs to look great, with good textures clean edges, High Definiton.. the Wii fails miserably when it comes to graphics, they put little effort into that aspect of the console due to the unique controllers, whereas the PS3 and the 360 both pimped their consoles for nice high definiton gaming.

Can I mention really quickly that I despise this argument. I cannot tell the difference between High def and normal def. I don't find it to be important in any way to how much I enjoy the game. Most of the time I actually find it detrimental. Crisis, Gears of War, all of those game developers who put graphics before gameplay. I don't find anything about them enjoyable. Developers who think like you do are idiots. They don't care if their game is fun, only that it is pretty.

For me, animation is more important than pretty graphics. If the characters move the way they should, and don't look awkward, the game will stand the test of time for me. E.g. MH, Ico, SotC.

 

[The Random One]

Oh you silly Yahtzee, you should tie the triceratops to the top of the car! Everyone knows that!

 

[scaily]

[/quote]
For me, animation is more important than pretty graphics. If the characters move the way they should, and don't look awkward, the game will stand the test of time for me. E.g. MH, Ico, SotC.[/quote]

i agree with you animation is perfection graphic up grade every damn week thats not game play its not pulling enthralling of the imagination hell no one ask's oh my how the hell dose that guy fight with such a large wepon look it has such horrid handling no they say holy shit that dude just took down a a monster or set of monsters lager than 10 men and a hours combined!

 

[AxemRed]

You didn't even play the game. You didn't make it out of the tutorial and you think that's enough time to review the game? That would be like playing Fallout 3, without even making it out of the vault and complaining about how small the spaces are and how you don't get to shoot anything. There are legitimate reasons to not like Monster Hunter, but you didn't even make it that far to know about them. You based this entire review on 30 minutes of gameplay. Have you done this with other games, or can you just not stand to play Wii games?

 

[macacos2]

So... did the game have a plot? Was there any value to collecting anything and upgrading it? Or was it literally just a circle of upgrading to make it easier to collect so you can upgrade more?

Isn't that like
the point of MMOs?

 

[Darmort]

Yahtzee mentioned Pokemon for the first time ever? Shocking... '
*Wonders if there might be a Pokemon Review at some point in the next week or two about him reminiscing the old days of Red and Blue*


Still, I felt that Yahtzee was a bit bland this time around. The jokes made themselves and I thought they were a bit obvious, personally. Still, his overall opinion about the Japanese gaming industry hasn't really changed. No big surprise.