Zero Punctuation: Next Gen Buyer's Guide

[Callate]

Yyyyyyyeah.

I tend to give Sony the benefit for seeming to have announced the console with the most avoidable/ignorable new "features" (heavy scare quotes) of the three. But I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop- to find out that Sony is also, as has been hypothesized, planning on taking an axe to the used game market, or plans on interrupting your gameplay to show you advertisements, or... whatever nightmarish anti-consumer malevolence a clever marketing department can come up with that challenges my own limited imagination.

But then, Microsoft seems to have gone all-in on the idea of re-arranging the world so everything you want to do on the hardware and software you foolishly thought you bought because you gave them a bunch of money for it has to go back through them as some sort of Middleman God. And that, my friends, is an idea that needs to be taken out to a field and shot before it gives anyone else ideas. Or possibly rabies.

Nintendo's fumbling about seems almost cute by comparison. But as I said, that's where we are: it's not a generation of "wow, it will do that?" so much as "who will @$#% us over the least?"

 

[Blunderboy]

*insert clappy man gif here*

Spot on old bean.

 

[KarmaTheAlligator]

Well, you managed to sum up my feelings about the whole gen so far pretty well. Only an exclusive that I desperately have to play will make me buy one.

 

[Aptspire]

I already have 500 set aside for a next gen console, I'm just waiting for E3 to see weather I should give my 500 to sony or microsoft. If I had to choose now I've give it to sony since they are no where as big a-holes as microsoft is at the moment.

500? I hope you mean 500 pounds for Microsoft, because it's set to cost 599 pounds (or a little over 900 US$)

 

[Requia]

It occurs to me that Yahtzee might have even more reason to *****. He's imported games before to get around fucked up Australian release dates, but it suddenly occurs to me that used games shenanigans may prevent imports altogether...

 

[Jabberwock King]

I say that Sony looks to be the strongest contender so far, as I figured the "share" button could be utterly ignored and notifications for it could be turned off the same way my Xbox lets me turn off notifications. Glad to see someone else here gives weight to that idea.

 

[E-Penguin]

I wonder what sort of LPs Yahtzee watches.

He's written an Extra Punctuation on it before [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/extra-punctuation/8703-Lets-Talk-About-Lets-Play], and he does his own LPs with his friend Gabriel. [https://www.youtube.com/user/yahtzee19/videos] EDIT: The Blood on the Sand one he mentions in the article was particularly amusing for me, got me to watch all of the other LPs Chip & Ironicus do.

I've watched his LPs already, but thanks for linking me the article!

Too bad he hasn't uploaded a new one recently, though.

 

[templar1138a]

Well put. Whenever I see anyone attempting a console war with this new generation, I sigh a little more than usual.

Captcha is "red herring." That does appear to be what the next console generation is in regard to gaming.

 

[Decabo]

His criticisms of the PS4 seemed rather forced, IMO. He basically talked about optional features as if they were manditory, and gave no credit to it not needing to be online to play games, not blocking used games, and already having some strong exclusives lined up. (Such as Infamous Second Son, a series he really likes) But whatever, bashing things is what pays his bills.

 

[Aiddon_v1legacy]

I'm getting the feeling that Nintendo has the best chance of doing well mostly because Sony and MS have forgotten that they're making GAME consoles. Nintendo's problem is that, once again, they trusted backstabbing third parties to actually take advantage of Nintendo holding back their big titles. If Nintendo had REALLY wanted to they could have released quite a few first party titles to fill in the release holes, but then 3rd parties would throw a tantrum and stamp their feet about their games not selling because of Nintendo's titles.

And the thing that makes me laugh the most is this: people whined and moaned about NEEDING a new generation and now it's come to bite them. MS is stumbling, backtracking, and flip-flopping on what the XBone is doing while Sony has cemented the fact that the next generation is NOT going to be a gigantic leap like the PS2 to the PS3 was. And no, PCs aren't going to be THAT much more powerful either. Heck, I barely think it matters when I very much doubt devs are going to use all that power for legitimate game innovation

 

[Flaery]

IT suck that I already bought a Wii U, it's just that Wind Waker HD is that one game I really really want to play. Why not just play the original Wind Waker you ask? Because my GameCube is breaking and my copy of Wind Waker is already broken.

 

[Gearhead mk2]

I'd think he'd be somewhat looking forward to Ps4, after all he always seemed to like InFamous which is just one of the launch titles set for Ps4.

One of the reasosn he liked inFamous 2 was that it had a clear, desicive ending. It story wasn't stretched out to become a big franchise zombie, it was tight, and it had a satisfying ending that tied everything up so we wouldn't have to buy a sequel just to see what was happening.

Then they made a sequel of it anyway.

*head-desk*

 

[Doom972]

He's complaining now and says that people shouldn't buy the next-gen console, but he already has a WiiU and he will get an Xbone and PS4 for his reviews, if not for himself.
I agree with him, but I'd like to see people taking a stand - especially known game critics.

Consoles have held games that I like hostage before, but I never got those consoles because I know that I shouldn't have to use multiple gaming platforms - I have one, my PC, and that's enough.

That's a silly idea. How can game critics call a console and/or its games shit without trying them? The ultimate insult would be to only give critics these games consoles and then have them stomp so hard all over them that no-one else buys them.

Because we already know that they're shit (except for maybe the PS4, of which we know very little about at the moment).
We keep complaining about bad business practices by Microsoft, Sony, Nintendo, EA, Activision and Ubisoft, but how do we expect them to get better if we keep acknowledging them and giving them money?

The ultimate insult would be critics ignoring those consoles and not acknowledging them as legitimate gaming platforms, with only sites like IGN and Gamepot giving away 10/10s for advertising money.

 

[medv4380]

Well the WiiU actually does have one game that I absolutely had to have, and that was ZombiU. It also happens to have the best web browser I could imagine to let me play youtube videos on my TV. The Virtual Console also has made Ghost and Goblins actually playable with a save state feature. They've actually been having sales on their store too so that's been a nice change of pace.

However, the WiiU really should have had Tomb Raider. I've banned the game from my home because of it. My PC has an Nvidia Card and Linux so the chances of getting it to work there is zero, and the latest and greatest stuff gets to go on the new console not my old PS3. The PS3 is busy with all the last gen games I skipped. I can't buy every title at 60$ after all.

I suspect that Square choosing to not put Tomb Raider on the Wii U, and EA choosing not to put games on the WiiU is some kind of attack on Nintendo. I suspect there was some conversation that was presented to MS, Sony, and Nintendo regarding "used" games. Nintendo said "status quo", and Sony said "It's your choice", and MS asked "How High?". They then proceeded to attempt to, as Yahtzee put it, burn the Nintendo bridge.

As for games. The WiiU has most of the Titles that Nintendo promised; save for Aliens(thank god), and a couple of title delayed. Everyone just expected EA and others to do more by now.

When and If the PS4 is out I might get it if and only if it has a game I want. Probably some NIS title when they pick their next gen horse.

 

[Rakor]

You know what I'm going to buy when all the new consoles come out? A PS3.

Because it'll be cheaper, and let me get around to playing all those PS3 exclusive jrpgs that I wouldn't be able to play on the next console anyway.

.......and probably a 3DS....because Pokemon and Shin Megami Tensei.

 

[kogane]

I thought the entire video would be Yahtzee going dooooooooooooooooon't for 5:37 minutes, but this way it was funnier.(But also scarier: violence and misogyny will probably be the actual description for the social button.)

 

[Andy Shandy]

I was expecting a "Don't" at some stage, although I was expecting it to be right at the start and then cut to the ending credits.

Really enjoyed this episode, some fun jibes at all of the big three.

 

[newwiseman]

My sentiments exactly though spoken in the Queen's English...

After the success of getting Dark Souls ported to PC and the ease of developing for PC along side the next gen PS4 and XBone I don't see exclusives being much more than get it here early and if it's good you have to wait for it on PC, and I'm fine with waiting.

 

[timboo_drow]

As far as I can tell the WiiU is the only console that is consumer friendly. It has social networking via MiiVerse, but you can completely ignore it if you want. It also does TV, but again, not a huge part of package, easily forgotten.

What they do offer is backwards compatibility with all the games you bought last gen, as well as all the stuff you downloaded, and all your saved games (via the Wii import app) and a fairly easy to use and convenient digital download system. And Super Metroid for 30 cents! The big release games are not there yet, and the 3rd parties are walking away, but I have faith in the first and don't care about the latter. All console releases are a bit deserted for the first 12 months or so, and who buys a Nintendo system to play Call of Duty anyway? The 3DS had the exact same growing pains, but is in full swing now, and even has immense 3rd party support.

Say what you want, but the WiiU is the console actually promising and giving Nintendo fans what they want, and it's a relatively cheap console.

 

[hermes]

In other words: act like you should in the beginning of every generation of hardware and never, NEVER buy something shortly after it was released. You will be less disappointed by the lack of content and the abundance of "features" they forgot to mention to the press and public (both things get better over time)