Zero Punctuation: Ninja Gaiden 2

[N-Sef]

Yahtzee is getting ok again, after watching his older videos and his newer ones I've concluded that all he wants to do is rant rather then review these days. This review was a little more fleshed out then his previous 5, which is good. I enjoyed this, I didn't really burst out laughing like I did with the Zelda review, nor did I really crack a smile. I knew some of it was funny, but it was kind of boring this review.

That's just what I thought anyway, but he's certainly on the rise again.

 

[MorkFromOrk]

OK I found Ninja Gaiden for the original Xbox frustrating in a way that made me want to constantly chuck my controller across the room but I was prepared to give Ninja Gaiden 2 a fair shake. Well I'm doing jolly well in the game at start, even though the game was quickly beginning to feel repetitious and my fingers were beginning to hurt, doing well that is until I come across the second boss fight (or is it technically the first REAL boss fight?) where all those bad memories of Ninja Gaiden of old crept back to me like the night I lost my virginity. This fucker had a counter move for every possible action I could make AND he had 3X my/Ryu's health. After spending over an hour trying to defeat him only to get WTFP0WNED! for the 40th time I thought to myself "Hey, there are a lot of other games I could play and actually ENJOY MYSELF (as strange as the concept is to TECMO) instead of grinding my teeth and trying to rip the game controller in half.

 

[Lord Doom]

The game is expected to be hard so it is hard to tell if certain things are problems or not. I find that the CIA lady is totally unnecessary. She is just there to be a walking pair of boobs. Her love interest with Ryu (you did say it right) makes her look like a retarded puppy. Since Ryu does not show any affection back, she is just this dumb blonde who is following him around. In the last game it made more sense. Rachel helped Ryu with information so they know one another now. Ryu save her several times and her sister, so she comes after him to repay the favor. There is a noticeable relationship. In the new game, the CIA agent appears to be a very retarded blonde with a crush. They could have easily left her out of the story. Also, Ninjas rule.

 

[guyy]

"Here's your story: Demons over there, KILL THEY @$$." Hilarious.

And look, even Yahtzee thinks the blood n' gore in games is getting to be a bit much. No more excuses.

 

[sequio]

It's bullshit and chips when certain normal enemy fighting sequences are harder than the boss fights, but after about the 2nd time through it's surprisingly easy. And yes, there are unnecessarily huge...tracts o' land.

 

[Opacic]

I have to wonder how many people saying "LOL UR SO RITE YAHTZEE BD" actually played the game, or are just agreeing with him because he's funny every now and again.

I didn't laugh at all this time around, what's happening Yahtzee?

 

[Heroic One]

I love how the ninja goes for the giant-titty imp at the end.

 

[Bmiester2008]

Great review as always =]

Love the lucas piss takes =]

 

[The9mm]

great review
i had a laugh
but i'm just going to play some real ninja gaiden on my nes
so fuck you new-age-gaming
old ninja gaiden = real hardcore!!!

 

[Hamster at Dawn]

congratulations on your 50th review.

 

[Pirate Brahm]

Umm, Vikings are pirates. Anyways, it's only fair if you review a pirate game - how about the old Sid Meyer one?

 

[MrBilzor]

So....did he like it? Or not?

 

[The Rusk]

good review. but i wonder what difficulty he played it on? because path of acolytes is easy, warrior is annoying, mentor is insane and master ninja gives me nightmares. and am i the only who had no camera trouble, and never had peoples arms fall off without a significant amount of work?

that being said the part where you get hit my an un-avoidable exploding shuriken made me laugh my ass of because of how true it was. i now have an urge to go finnish beating it on mentor, but i know if i do i will have to accept yelling at the TV for hours on end.

you're not the only one. i personally loved the game. sure its not too different from the first one but it didnt need to be. i just like the way it just gives you what you want, and thats minimal story and plenty of action.

i didn't come across any invisible walls or any bugs like that. i can understand the point about the camera but again its a bit too harsh seeing as its impossible for the camera to always be perfect when you leaping around narrow corridors. plus there's always the option of righting the camera immediately behind you.

all that said i loved the review, still funny as hell. for anyone who was considering buying this game don't be put off by this review, its nowhere near as bad as yahtzee makes it out to be.

 

[greyhairdgamer]

funny review Yahtzee, maybe a little on the harsh side though.

 

[madmax17]

Brilliant as usual Yahtzee, good to see you're not losing the sharp edge.

 

[ajk_1989]

wow that was possibly one of the more twisted endings i've seen yet. nice =D

 

[JackH]

@@@ @@@ @@@

Yo Yahtzee, I don't know if you'd like this but here's something I think you'll find interesting, it's not game related and I apologize for using this comment fourum but I can't reach you on fullramblomatic.com

~its intellectual stuff~

it's about art and the value of art and I believe it has loads to do with Games:

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=vmZLPnAAuLE


http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9rJsnB2ayY

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=XqTMWUk2inI

 

[JackH]

Game related topic: are you going to review Fable 2 when it come out? the in game trailer looks promising and I've always found something interesting about the family tree system in games. Cheers mate

 

[JackH]

and mates on the fourum, Sorry, it's kinda random, I've left my praise for the review on page 1 so if you'd like to blast me with accusations that I am a nerd or possess a different sexual preference, please keep in mind that I can also riddle you with an unconservative amount of viruses, I kid you not

 

[Xenon Pretzel]

You know what? I'm going to defend NGII.

Crappy story: So? The game tries to be more like an arcade game, meaning the story doesn't have to make sense. It's just an excuse to give Ryu stuff to kill, and I respect it for not giving a crap about the story.

Bad camera: Let's face it, if a game is 3rd person, it's going to have bad camera. And I noticed no real problems myself anyway.

Enemies attacking from a mile away: That's what the bow is for.

Enemies falling apart: Frankly I like this factor. They may die easily, but when you're slashing them with the kind of stereotypical ninja sword that Ryu has, it SHOULD slice an arm off. Plus they don't actually die even if they're a torso sometimes, which is brilliant.

Claws being the only useful weapon: No. No. No. The sword is useless, I admit, but the Sythe and the Lunar staff kick, fucking, ASS.

Now, I admit I have only played the demo, but I've played it 50 times over and it still isn't repetetive.

I agree with alot of the other guys. Ranting is replacing reviewing, there is no good games anymore according to you, when I know there are LOTS that you have and haven't already done.