Zero Punctuation: Ninja Gaiden 3

catalyst8

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Oct 29, 2008
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1:45 'A spunky professional single mother'? Ah ha ha ha! Well that explains why she's had a kid - she's full of spunk!

CAPTCHA: Pampers. describe this brand with any word(s)
Prophetic as ever Escapist Captcha Oracle!
 

rabidkanid

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Mar 26, 2008
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Ninja Gaiden 3 is NOT EASY!
There's this thing called a *gasp* difficulty setting in the options.
I've watched 2 people stream this game online. They were dying constantly and were pretty much ready to toss their controllers into their TV's due to how difficult it was.
 

DarkhoIlow

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Dec 31, 2009
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I didn't even realized it's Wednesday,guess I was too busy raiding that I didn't notice it.

I heard from the reviews and other sources that fans of this franchise are really pissed because of the mainstreaming of this third installment.I can't say anything for myself,because I haven't played any Ninja Gaiden game.The only ones close with ninja's that I played was Onimusha and Ninja Blade.

Regarding this particular vid,I had a very good laughs which I was expecting.
 

Therumancer

Citation Needed
Nov 28, 2007
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Hmmm, well I think the problem is that "curses" are subjective. A curse that say maims you with an uncontrollable killing arm would really suck for 99% of the world, but if your say a Ninja who from that paticular moment on has very little going on except to kill several hundred dudes, it doesn't much matter. This is why curses like lycanthropy, or a demonic mage of uncontrollable bloodshed (Splatterhouse) don't work too well in video games.

To put it into perspective, Elric's sword "Stormbringer" has a nasty habit of killing everyone around him whenever he doesn't toe the line and do exactly what "The Lords Of The Higher Worlds" want him to do (and sometimes even then). Sure, it's awesome when he's hacking his way through small armies of semi-divine monsters, but less cool when it decides to say munch the soul of his true love, or kill almost everyone who ever tries to help him and watch his back (the exception being the incarnation of the Eternal Companion: Moonglum, who is pretty much favored by the same force empowering the sword).

The point being that I don't disagree with it being a curse, just that it's not much of a curse in this context. I agree that you'd think this is the kind of curse you'd put on a relatively normal sort, as opposed to a loner Ninja who has already decided to make it a personal crusade to kill you, and pretty much everyone else you've ever been remotely aquainted with.

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That said I think people getting on games for not being politically correct is going overboard. Complaining about the game being racist for say portraying Muslims as the bad guys (which they are from a certain point of view held by a lot of people for good reason) is EXACTLY why we see so many bloody zombies in games, because as soon as people show up we start having critics scream "OMG, your not treating the brits even handedly" or "OMG, you can't show the Muslims as the bad guys". It's even greater hypocricy when you look at people making arguements about parts of the western world being far more concerned over sexuality than violence, and then having people scream "OMG, female characters in kinky and/or revealing outfits, we need to stop those", which undermines the whole arguement people make about the lulzworthy nature of a society that gets concerned over say bear breasts but doesn't mind the sadistic disembowelment of opponents.

The point here I'm making is that critics need to be careful about what they say, in this review alone a lot of Yahtzee's own snark has pretty much discredited a lot of the criticisms he's made in his other columns. You can't have it both ways, and if you wonder where a lot of this garbage comes from, well look at the criticisms made in this week's Zero punctuation, and conider this is supposed to be the irreverant game review. It's been going on for a while but Yahtzee seems to be slowly but surely turning into my grandmother.
 

minuialear

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Jun 15, 2010
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MatsVS said:
Aiddon said:
Note the "actual" next to challenge. Dark Souls, while very good, had a really bad habit of finding the right amount of challenge...and then arbitrarily sticking three or four extra things in that shoved it the realm of "cheap." The Four Kings, some sections of Anor Londo, Blight Town, Sen's Fortress, and the Capra Demon were particularly bad in that regard
I, and so many others, found that by simply reconsidering our approach and using everything the game had given us so far, those challenges also became quite surpassable. But while I honestly think that every internet thread ever becomes better by being about Dark Souls, I really only wanted to point out this inconsistency, not hijack the discussion.
The idea is that there's a difference between a game being hard and a game being challenging. While ingenuity helps in Dark Souls, it's undeniable that Dark Souls also requires either a fair bit of luck or a lot of repetition in order to complete missions the first (or sometimes even second or third) time around, and that the game is made so that one has to do the latter a fair amount of times in order to progress. A game that tries to make sure you can't figure out how to do something the first time around as frequently as Dark Souls does it (regardless of whether one actually ends up repeating every section or not, the game is clearly built with that sort of process in mind), removes itself from the category of "challenging" that Yatzee (or others) would refer to, and just makes it hard. Just like how adding more bad guys to every Final Fantasy battle doesn't make it more "challenging" just because it makes it more difficult to win. Making a game "challenging" is more complicated.
 

Xman490

Doctorate in Danger
May 29, 2010
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Stabbing people with inhumanly large arms caused by something that should normally leave someone dead, and then using said power to occasionally do an overpowered "fuck you" move?

Oh, yeah, Prototype 2 is coming out in a couple of months! Also, The Darkness II came out a couple months AGO.

This "pure Gratification" (see the "Saints Row the Third" Extra Punctuation) side of gaming is becoming one of those trends Yatzee despises, along with chest-high walls and story being unlike gameplay.
 

jawakiller

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Jan 14, 2011
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Why does Yahtzee always depress me after a game review? Wait, don't tell me, it's not him, is it? It's all these mother fucking games that ruin my day as soon as I hear about them.

I mean, I used to love Ninja Gaiden for the sole reason of difficulty. It wasn't the violence, Mortal Kombat, everybody, and everybody's mother had that. It wasn't because of Ninjas; they were never that great anyway, at least not in Gaiden. If you wanted Ninja sword fights, there were other games. It wasn't for magic attacks either, so many games already have that. Oh boy, using a magic dragon to fight for you. I haven't heard of anyone doing that before. I mean, Pokemon may have been doing that shit for two decades now but hey, lets not focus on that.

Parkour running and whatnot? Well Assassin's Creed used to be entirely based on the premise and Mirrors Edge did that as well. We really don't need another third person action game using that mechanic as a main feature. Ubi-Soft did fuck up on AC (the last two) but hopefully they rectify their mistake in AC3. Not very promising but whatever.

Gaiden wasn't for stealth, Thief and Splinter Cell had that covered. I say had because Conviction (the last SC game) was so shitty at the whole open-ended stealth thing it made Gear of War look like Hitman. Not bitter but Ubi-Soft can go fuck themselves with a broken lead pipe. Seriously, that's two incredible games they made then absolutely destroyed with crappy sequels.

But yeah, Ninja Gaiden was that one game that made you contemplate rage quitting life or at least eating a half gallon of ice cream out of anger. But if Yahtzee says its easy? Wow, it must be pretty weak. He doesn't say that unless it makes Little Big Planet look like, well, Ninja Gaiden. Fuck everything, I'm out.

And I wonder why modern video games make me depressed...
 

BehattedWanderer

Fell off the Alligator.
Jun 24, 2009
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There's a Ninja Gaiden 3? I wasn't even aware this had come out. Or was supposed to come out. Someone failed their marketing exam, it seems. Huh. Maybe I'll get around to that, when I'm not busy playing through my back catalog for all the grand nothing else that has been coming out since Mass Effect 3.
 

abort_user

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Aug 4, 2009
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the first time he says the name he says it its proper Gaiden. he clearly used the Gayden throughout the rest of the video as a joke. funny stuff.
 

chadachada123

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Jan 17, 2011
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Aiddon said:
MatsVS said:
"What was one of the last bastions of actual challenge..."

But! Wait! What!? Nooo...

That's Demon's- and Dark Souls and Yathzee raged against that shit for being "too hard" and "unfair" and other such assorted nonsensical bullshit.
Note the "actual" next to challenge. Dark Souls, while very good, had a really bad habit of finding the right amount of challenge...and then arbitrarily sticking three or four extra things in that shoved it the realm of "cheap." The Four Kings, some sections of Anor Londo, Blight Town, Sen's Fortress, and the Capra Demon were particularly bad in that regard
I'd disagree with Anor Londo and Sen's Fortress, and with Blight the only problems I had were not quite knowing which areas were able to be walked on without slipping. I can concede the Capra Demon, although once you learned the patterns of the dogs and the demon, it becomes a far-more-manageable fight.

But still, overall, the game is really freaking good, and for the most part is incredibly fair. It teaches you how to play ITS way rather than just saying "nice try, here's a medal and cookie and cutscene" or define "hard" as being "give the shooting enemies a reaction time of .001 seconds" (Call of Duty, etc).
 

Yopaz

Sarcastic overlord
Jun 3, 2009
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MatsVS said:
"What was one of the last bastions of actual challenge..."

But! Wait! What!? Nooo...

That's Demon's- and Dark Souls and Yathzee raged against that shit for being "too hard" and "unfair" and other such assorted nonsensical bullshit.
One of the last does not mean the last.

I really wanted this game despite of all the things I've heard that I didn't like. However when a Ninja Gaiden gets easy then it lost what I enjoyed the most with the previous games.
 

Marik Bentusi

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Aug 20, 2010
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Ha, finally a game Yahtzee could get into again, really liked the jokes in this one (especially in the beginning)
 

MegaManOfNumbers

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Mar 3, 2010
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DVS BSTrD said:
Ironic that a game series about a shinobi has become a shadow, of it's former self.
OW; I think I just stabbed myself out of reaction from how bad that pun was. Oh god the blood is EVERYWHERE!

OT: I giggled like a schoolgirl during that cursed arm bit. It is oddly hilarious that Team Ninja royally fucked up the point of a NG game, Difficulty and skill!
 

Valagetti

Good Coffee, cheaper than prozac
Aug 20, 2010
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Gorilla Gunk said:
Damn, was hoping for a Downpour review.
Thank you!
I expect that to be the first comment!!!
But the review will be pretty predictable, whoo this game is not scary at all.
Personally I loved Downpour!