Zero Punctuation: Nintendo 3DS

Worgen

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Whatever, just wash your hands.
it was rushed out a bit quick, Im annoyed the online store isnt even up yet but its launch titles are about as good as any system launch, almost no modern system has launched with a strong line up of games
 

Deus mortuus est

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Yep, I probably won't be buying the 3DS. Didn't like the DS much, and this doesn't seem like much of an improvement.
 

Sethzard

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I didn't think he would be able to review portal till next week. Good points if a bit flamebateish.
 

Tireseas_v1legacy

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Yahtzee Croshaw: Soon-to-be-banned from the local playgrounds and preschools. The country is a safer place for this.
 

Deminobody

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It's always funny to watch the video and then come back to look at the people who rushed to make a comment and inadvertently asked about something covered in the video they were in too much of a hurry to watch. *cough* Portal 2 requests *cough*
 

Assassin Xaero

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Every time they have a success it is followed by a failure? Which was the last failure? I didn't think the Gamecube did that bad, especially with Metroid Prime.
 

BlueJoneleth

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I've got one and am happy with it. But I agree there is not much on it for the moment. Well the DS didn't have much at the start either and got tons of good games later, so let's be patient for now.
 

Fusioncode9

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Have no interest in the 3DS. The 3D aspect doesn't appeal to me, the launch lineup is pathetic, and the only that game announced that seems worth getting is Ocarina of Time. I am excited for the NGP, as long as it doesn't require me to have to get a second job.
 

CrazT

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Expected Portal 2 (like everyone else), but I think it was interesting to see something a bit different (as in, a console "overview", in a sense) rather than another review of just a game. Great nonetheless!!!
 

DJDarque

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HankMan said:
Fitting that the 3DS has such an in-depth critique.
You absolutely love making puns, don't you?

OT: Yeah, I wasn't impressed by the 3DS either.
 

repeating integers

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Portal 2 should be an interesting review - "Hey! Let's see how much I can praise this game without losing my fanbase!"

Also I couldn't stop laughing at the 3DS in the top hat who "didn't want to associate with riff-raff".
 

CyricZ

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I got it simply for the point of getting the "getting of it" over with. I knew I'd be getting it sooner or later and price drops likely won't happen for at least a year, and I didn't feel like risking the chance of it being the next sliced bread and being impossible to find. Obviously that didn't happen, but whatever.
 

Shameless

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Assassin Xaero said:
Every time they have a success it is followed by a failure? Which was the last failure? I didn't think the Gamecube did that bad, especially with Metroid Prime.
It was the least selling Nintendo console, which is probably the reason that made Nintendo change it's direction towards casual players.
 

ZZoMBiE13

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Jamaicob5 said:
Damn you, we want Portal 2!
I was actually hoping more for Mortal Kombat. He'll probably like Portal 2 despite it's being a sequel. And there's nothing less fun than watching a Yahtzee video where everything is peachy.

I was hoping he'd hit MK and then make fun of everything having a letter K instead of a letter C. Ah well, maybe in 2 weeks. :)
 

Xman490

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Dammit, Yatzee! Not only do you hold off on Portal 2 (not a surprise, really, with your 2-week schedule), but you tease us by mentioning ARGs, "The Cake is a Lie", and the moon!
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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It looks like the 3DS will be no different then the normal DS except with more gimmicks.

I guess YC won't be reviewing Homefront considering that its now been weeks since it was released, but perhaps that was to be expected seeing as Homefront is basically just a 6 hour long CoD clone.
 

SckizoBoy

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Surprised he didn't make comments to the effect of 'literal head-fuck'.

Less than an hour on 3DS = splitting headache... not impressed.

Oh yeah, and, holy shit, that flying game was Aus$60?!
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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subtlefuge said:
I'm sorry, but Majora's Mask and Wind Waker =/= Ocarina of Time.
True, Majora's Mask took the franchise in a much darker direction, which I would love to see them do again in a future installment.
 

yourbeliefs

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Maybe as with most Nintendo products, the second version will be the one actually worth buying. I have little use for handhelds in general though since I see no real reason to play a device with a screen that small when I have 3 modern consoles attached to a 50" Plasma, and because on long trips I'm always the one doing the driving unless I've become blindingly inebriated.
 

ColdBlooded

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I actually think he could be quite funny even praising a game like protal 2. Then again, I'm hopelessly optimistic.
 

roostuf

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Oh come on! why cant i go on the big chair, you're not going to gloat enough for it.
 

Mxrz

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The best thing about the DS was the cheaper development costs, I wonder if that'll be true for the 3DS. - Beyond that, 3D just doesn't work for some people, and even gives some headaches. I hate the idea of having to pay extra/more for a game because of a gimmick that doesn't work for me.
 

JoJo

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Hardcore_gamer said:
I guess YC won't be reviewing Homefront considering that its now been weeks since it was released, but perhaps that was to be expected seeing as Homefront is basically just a 6 hour long CoD clone.
He might just be waiting until there's a spot where not much else has come out, Fable 3 took a couple of months for a ZP review to appear.
 

FiveSpeedf150

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They should really just give up and re-release the N64, and the entire library of N64 games, with modern graphics. Maaaaybe improve the AI a bit, but I doubt they could do that without being tempted to meddle with the shit that made the games fun in the first place.

I'd buy it, which is more than I can say for any other nintendo product.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Well, I was kind of expecting Portal 2 aswell, but I enjoyed this Review nonetheless and want to read a Extra Punctiation about it. By the way, who else thinks he won't like Portal 2 quite as much as Portal 1?
 

Eternal_Lament

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Good review! BTW I think this is your first official console review unless you count the retrospective from 2007.

Also, yeah I don't think I'm going to get a 3DS either (this video didn't influence me, but it did touch on points that make the system not worth it for me). For one thing, it says something about how useful the main feature actually is when the company says that it wont be a necessary feature to play games. Which begs the question: whats the point for paying extra money for a feature that has no bearing on gameplay? And yeah, while I would say any console has a bad launch line-up, at least other consoles had some (not all) of the things people were interested in come out close to about 2-3 months after launch, not 8 months to a year (also, does anyone else notice that the most anticipated games for the system are remakes?)
 

Trogdor1138

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Good job Yahtzee, I was surprised that you were doing a system review and it was the first one in ages that genuinely made me laugh out loud a few times. I haven't been hearing much on the 3DS due to nobody around here giving a shit about it. I was just curious to how their glasses-free 3d worked and wanted to test it out, I'm in no rush though and I will not be buying one until there's a substantial library of good games and the price drops significantly.
 

AlissaX70

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Portal 2? I don't give a shit, I'm joining the "where-the-hell-is-the-Portal-2-review" bandwagon. Mostly because it's the perfect paradox: a Portal game, but a sequel.

As far as this review goes... at least he called out Nintendo; we don't want another gimmick, we want more games! And I don't mean "more Mario or Zelda" games. The Nintendo 3DS sounded stupid anyway, it makes sense that it doesn't have any groundbreaking (or even good) games yet...
 

NightmareTaco

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Thrust said:
Assassin Xaero said:
Every time they have a success it is followed by a failure? Which was the last failure? I didn't think the Gamecube did that bad, especially with Metroid Prime.
It was the least selling Nintendo console, which is probably the reason that made Nintendo change it's direction towards casual players.
I guess Virtual Boy didn't make it onto your list of Nintendo consoles? Lol.

I think the 3DS will be a good purchase... next year. :) For now I'm excited for their silly ports.
 

dkyros

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the 3DS holds no appeal to me, so even if he is being his usual self I more or less agree with it. Nintendo has been on a spiral downwards in quality and when my gf bought me a Wii for my birthday I made her return it.
 

Enlong

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OhJohnNo said:
Portal 2 should be an interesting review - "Hey! Let's see how much I can praise this game without losing my fanbase!"
Only if the game was good enough to overcome the deadly sin of being a sequel.
 

Mr. Omega

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Next week is going to be an interesting balancing act. He needs to be negative enough to stop most of his fans from complaining, but he needs to still give Portal 2 lots and lots of praise lest there be lots of complaints from this site's biggest fanbase, the Church of Freeman. Either way, the comment section next week is going to be almost as fun to watch as the video itself...

OT: Honestly, as funny as a lot of it is, his reviews for anything Nintendo-based have become... predictable. VERY predictable. It's still funny, but when you know all the jokes that are coming, it loses something.
 

dragongit

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Like everyone I was hoping he'd have gotten to Portal 2 already. But he did take a while to review Bulletstorm when we assumed he would love the game. Good insite on the 3Ds though, I tried it at target and my eyes hurt after a couple of minutes
 

DoctorPhil

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Can't remember the last time I saw such a funny ZP.

As for the 3DS, I'm waiting for the next version wich will actually be complete, like the DS lite and Advance SP.
 

repeating integers

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Enlong said:
OhJohnNo said:
Portal 2 should be an interesting review - "Hey! Let's see how much I can praise this game without losing my fanbase!"
Only if the game was good enough to overcome the deadly sin of being a sequel.
But it's made by Valve. Of COURSE he'll like it.
 

tryfan

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I have a lot of disposable income, and buying the 3DS would have been easy for me. Problem was, I didn't see a single reason to buy the thing. I only have one working eye, so that's a bit of an annoyance from the 3D perspective. Having said that, the launch titles weren't that good, with pilotwings being the only decent one of the bunch from what I've read and heard. I'm one of the few people who hasn't beaten ocarina of time, and I'll wait until that comes out to grab the hardware. I'll also hotglue the 3D slider to off.
 

Enlong

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DoctorPhil said:
Can't remember the last time I saw such a funny ZP.
Really?

I mean, it was OK, but as someone else said, his Nintendo-based reviews are becoming kinda predictable. It's always "Nintendo is cashing in on weak stuff when it's not failing hard", "Motion Controls are a dying breed", "sequels are horrible", "HAHAHA Zelda", "I'll be proven right" in some order.

I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't biased, but I kinda prefer ones where he's not banging on about Nintendo. Because, whether I agree with them or not, they're more funny.
 

Archonic Energy

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hurricanejbb said:
I laughed way too hard at "Senor Koquonfaes".
as did i...
i wonder how many "Senor Koquonfaes"es i'm going to see in the next few weeks...
i know i'm tempted to make one!
 

Chiefwakka

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I was rolling when he was like "jackpot" then "what is wrong with me". That was good stuff lol.
 

GeorgW

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Love Señor Koquonfaes. Brilliant! Very funny ep, feels like you're in the zone right now. And looking forward to Portal 2 next week!
Will you change your mind about the 3DS if it actually gets software? Like in 2 years?
 

GrungyMunchy

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I love how there are always exactly two idiots who feel the need to post before they saw the video.

Also, I lol'd at the class conflict of the 3DSs.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Really really getting pushy with the "vote for us" Advertisements now, and honestly it has the opposite effect...
 

Enlong

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Draconalis said:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pilotwings_64

Pilot wings is a port too.
I haven't played either one, but it sounds like it's a sequel. A port would be the exact ''same'' game, possibly with updated graphics. Same levels, same characters, etc. Is that the case?
 

kuolonen

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Evryones waiting for positive portal review?
People please, Yahtzee himself said with bioshock 2 review that a good sequel transcends the original while a bad sequel wallovs in original crap. Other than new story 1 new character and couple of new gimicks, how exactly does Portal 2 differ from the orginal? Im calling a disappointed review.
That said it's not a bad game. Had a bundle of laughs with it.
 

Plurralbles

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yahtzee should review every console that comes out...

Oh and it was weird, the first time I played the sound kept playing after I told it to stop and I told it go and it started from the start with that later one still playing... very, "row row row your boat"-esque. :D
 

mjc0961

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Yeah. Nintendo probably should have waited until May and just released the 3DS the internet browser/eShop/other stuff functionality in it straight away and also worked on getting more games at launch. Making people wait two months before it does everything it's supposed to and then even longer to get some games that are quality ports instead of shitty Ubisoft ports wasn't their smartest idea.
 

Oblarg

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So, I had the opportunity to use a 3ds for a few minutes this morning, and the viewing angle really is absolute shit. Yeah, parallax-based selective pixel blocking is clever, but it simply doesn't fucking work when you have to keep the goddamn thing absolutely still because the viewing angle spans all of ten degrees. Add to this the fact that 3d gaming will never be particularly immersive until it's effectively paired with head tracking (something the narrow viewing angle does not allow) and I think I'll pass on this pocket console.

Also, why the hell did they feel the need to have a depth slider? The distance between human eyes doesn't vary that much...
 

Draconalis

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Enlong said:
I haven't played either one, but it sounds like it's a sequel. A port would be the exact ''same'' game, possibly with updated graphics. Same levels, same characters, etc. Is that the case?
Given the content of the game, (it completely lacked a story to my recollection, it's been a few years though) I'm more incline to say it's more of a port than all the Zeldas after OoC
 

Jonluw

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Positively hilarious video. The best one in a while.

The elementary school segment literally had me bend over laughing.
 

Rag Doll

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Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2! Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2! Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!Portal 2!

Just sayin'. I'm interested.
 

C14N

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Good enough review but I can never understand Yahtzee's insistence that all the Zelda games are the same. The major home console releases change greatly from one game to the next, especially when put beside a series like Call of Duty or even GTA.

Ocarina was the first 3D one.

Majora's Mask had the "masks" thing and the "3 days" thing added so much to the depth of the game, especially for things like side quests. It wasn't just a time limit on dungeons like I had expected.

Wind Waker had a completely different art direction and overworld (lots of tiny islands with a few big ones instead of a field with a few towns). Once again, it totally changed the way of doing sidequests compared to MM or OoT.

An Twilight Princess, while looking a bit like OoT again in terms of art direction was still very much its own game. It was probably the most like a bigger OoT but there were still the wolf/twilight sections to add something new.

Even the plot changes greatly between the games when you look at it closer than "kid saves world, there's a princess in there somewher". I think Yahtzee just gets annoyed because the standard weapons (sword, bow, boomerang and bombs) show up in every one but even then, every game has introduced a few weapons/items of its own.
 

Enlong

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Draconalis said:
Enlong said:
I haven't played either one, but it sounds like it's a sequel. A port would be the exact ''same'' game, possibly with updated graphics. Same levels, same characters, etc. Is that the case?
Given the content of the game, (it completely lacked a story to my recollection, it's been a few years though) I'm more incline to say it's more of a port than all the Zeldas after OoC
Well, I agree with you that the whole "Zelda's exactly the same" thing isn't quite true.
 

dalek sec

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hurricanejbb said:
I laughed way too hard at "Senor Koquonfaes".
Same here, I laughed my ass off at that joke and his reactions to finding a bunch of kids of his 3DS to get a bunch of hits off of.

First: Fucking Jackpot!
Second: What the hell is wrong with me?!

Those two lines just slayed me.
 

iron skirt

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well this is all veary non portal2 i hope yuore next episode will be more portal 2 then this one.
still funny though
 

Thaluikhain

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Great review, had me laughing which has been rare for alot of his recent stuff, started to get a bit samey after the first year or so.
 

DoctorPhil

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Enlong said:
DoctorPhil said:
Can't remember the last time I saw such a funny ZP.
Really?

I mean, it was OK, but as someone else said, his Nintendo-based reviews are becoming kinda predictable. It's always "Nintendo is cashing in on weak stuff when it's not failing hard", "Motion Controls are a dying breed", "sequels are horrible", "HAHAHA Zelda", "I'll be proven right" in some order.

I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't biased, but I kinda prefer ones where he's not banging on about Nintendo. Because, whether I agree with them or not, they're more funny.
True, but the parts about Señor koquonfaes and gobulcoque had me in stitches, but maybe that's just my juvenile sense of humor.
 

Jman1236

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I showed my 3ds to my brother(who moved out a year ago and recently got married in DEC) this past easter and he said while it's cool, the 3d gave him a headache.

FYI Yatzee please post the QR code for your Mii I will be eturnally greatful.
 

Enlong

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willychong8921 said:
where's portal 2, he should review it, and see whether its up to its reputation compared to the first game.
Did you read the stuff in the credits? It's next week.
 

siNwrath

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I'm a little disappointed with this one. I'm not all that big on the 3D myself, though it did influence my decision in my purchase, but the real kicker is that I don't actually care. Its more than just 3D, and I'm convinced the games will come in time. Some might even use the 3D well, if at all possible.

The thing is, while the Wii was essentially all motion control, the 3D on the 3DS is entirely optional, and not integral to the experience. Its just a nice aside that the marketting department jumped on.
 

The Artificially Prolonged

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HAHA great review of 3DS. I had a go of my brother's 3DS and after a few minutes had to stop because it was hurting my eyes so much. I cannot see the point of a handheld device that requires you to stare at the screen at certain angle in order to get the benefit of it's main feature.
 

eNTi

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i only bought that device, because i can now play FUCKING STREET FIGHTER anywhere... i just love street fighter. nuff said, i turned off the 3d after an hour of trying to find it's appeal.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Personally I see nothing wrong with presenting your game in 3d anaglyph (red/blue) but I do find it strange with the way Nintendo has done it.

Having to place the console/controller in just the right way and on such a small screen... I don't know; Just doesn't seem fiscally valid.
 

Dutch 924

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"Portal 2 will be next week"
That might (big might) shut those bloody fanboys up
 

Unhappy Crow

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Good thing I'm waiting to get a 3DS by Xmas this year. That way, we'll get some good games in store and hear some of the upcoming games later this year and next from E3 2011.

And I want to add this: Why the hell is half the people here raving for Portal 2? I don't have the game(yet), but I would rather be anxious to play it more than wait for Yahtzee to talk about it.
 

WaderiAAA

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Sorry, won't join you on your planet. I've gotten used to putting up with all the shit (most of which at least isn't bundled with the console) and ocassional evilness from Nintendo as long as the console will have a Mario game, a Mario Kart game and a Zelda game (and Paper Mario and Kid Icarus doesn't hurt either).
 

vviki

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Great one Yahtzee! Bash that 3D with all your might and I hope it will disappear soon! I saw the news for 2D glasses and as soon as those hit the shelves in Germany, I'm getting a pair.

Also, you rule in creating avatar names. I almost died laughing at SENOR KOQUONFAES! I'm so naming myself that way in some game :D
 

Dana22

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"The thing about 3D is that I stopped noticing it until it fucks"

Well that only means it works as intended, right ?
 

lord.jeff

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I did try the 3DS in a best buy it is crap, chances are it'll go the way of the DSi.

That being said I am still a huge fan of Nintendo because despite their many cock ups they still have some very good titles and are a major force in pushing gaming forward.
 

Shameless

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NightmareTaco said:
Thrust said:
Assassin Xaero said:
Every time they have a success it is followed by a failure? Which was the last failure? I didn't think the Gamecube did that bad, especially with Metroid Prime.
It was the least selling Nintendo console, which is probably the reason that made Nintendo change it's direction towards casual players.
I guess Virtual Boy didn't make it onto your list of Nintendo consoles? Lol.

I think the 3DS will be a good purchase... next year. :) For now I'm excited for their silly ports.
I was talking about about home consoles, but yet again I should have been more clear =p
 

CopperBoom

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SckizoBoy said:
Surprised he didn't make comments to the effect of 'literal head-fuck'.

Less than an hour on 3DS = splitting headache... not impressed.
I worked with the 3DS using it daily for nearly a year and I never got headaches so it just depends on the person.

Games used to be *WAY* more 3D, so consider yourself protected.
 

Moriarty70

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I don't know, if 3D could slap me in the face, I'm afraid of what it'll slap me with. For those not aware, the earliest adoptors of new tech is usually the porn industry.
 

scw55

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I tried a 3DS in a shop and I felt travel sick. I have normal vision.
I won't be playing the DS in 3 dimentions when I eventually get one for Pokemon.

It feels like you're looking at a magic eye.
 

DanDeFool

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And this whole 3DS thing is triple-y lame because now Mega Man Legends 3 is going to be cancelled (probably) due to the fact that nobody wants to buy this gimmicky piece of crap.

For my part, Nintendo has been sliding steadily downhill ever since they decided to release the N64 with a cartridge slot instead of a CD-ROM drive.
 

TheRealCJ

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Enlong said:
OhJohnNo said:
Portal 2 should be an interesting review - "Hey! Let's see how much I can praise this game without losing my fanbase!"
Only if the game was good enough to overcome the deadly sin of being a sequel.
Uh, yeah, except he's said that a good chunk of his favorite games are sequels; Half-Life 2, Thief 2, Silent Hill 2...
 

Stammer

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I like the 3DS. I'm probably going to buy one at some point before the next handheld generation. But I totally agree with Yahtzee on at least one thing:

Having a platform that requires motion controls and the user to remain completely motionless simultaneously is a really, really poor design choice! lol

(Also this episode was hilarious. I actually laughed several times out loud, particularly when he started talking about running into groups of schoolchildren.)
 

KDR_11k

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Yahtzee always needs at least two weeks after a game's release to create a review, one week for playing, one for creating the video. No surprise then that Portal 2 didn't get reviewed this week.

I agree that the launch lineup is lame. My game of choice was Samurai Warriors Chronicles which reviewers appear to be allergic to. I like it but since Yahtzee is a reviewer it would likely cause internal bleeding for him.
 

PixelKing

Moderately confused.
Sep 4, 2009
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Am I the only one who got the old zp reference in his little paragraph during the credits?
 

Xander_VJ

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C14N said:
Good enough review but I can never understand Yahtzee's insistence that all the Zelda games are the same. The major home console releases change greatly from one game to the next, especially when put beside a series like Call of Duty or even GTA.

Ocarina was the first 3D one.

Majora's Mask had the "masks" thing and the "3 days" thing added so much to the depth of the game, especially for things like side quests. It wasn't just a time limit on dungeons like I had expected.

Wind Waker had a completely different art direction and overworld (lots of tiny islands with a few big ones instead of a field with a few towns). Once again, it totally changed the way of doing sidequests compared to MM or OoT.

An Twilight Princess, while looking a bit like OoT again in terms of art direction was still very much its own game. It was probably the most like a bigger OoT but there were still the wolf/twilight sections to add something new.

Even the plot changes greatly between the games when you look at it closer than "kid saves world, there's a princess in there somewher". I think Yahtzee just gets annoyed because the standard weapons (sword, bow, boomerang and bombs) show up in every one but even then, every game has introduced a few weapons/items of its own.
Not only the major console games, but almost every single entry in the franchise.

Yahtzee hatred for the "Zelda" series seems to come from somewhere else, because when you really look the games, that kind of claims he does about the franchise are pretty irrational.

Maybe because its a popular AND respected series?

When something you dislike is praised like that, you tend to hate it even more and your mind over exaggerates the flaws it sees.
 

DSQ

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Assassin Xaero said:
Every time they have a success it is followed by a failure? Which was the last failure? I didn't think the Gamecube did that bad, especially with Metroid Prime.
Did we buy the same Gamecube?

But your kinda right. The gamecube only bad but wasn't awful until you compared it to how much fun you were haing on the ps2.

As for the 3DS, i think of it as an upgrade for the ds. I'm really only buying it because i want Pheonix vs Layton and the rest the the new games i would have been getting on the DS if it wasn't for the 3DS.
 

Aptspire

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Heh, I also thought PilotWings was more of a bundle game :p
and also, hurray! Portal 2 review next week 8D
 

Colinmac93

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I wonder how long it'll take for someone to go out and make Senor Koquenfaes on their 3DS.
Hell, someone's probably already done it (excluding Yahtzee himself, of course).
 

yanipheonu

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Jan 27, 2010
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Toasty Virus said:
It did seem like they rushed it out before...you know

ALL THE GOOD GAMES CAME OUT.
Because remember all those great games the first DS came out with...oh...

Actually I'd say the 3DS had a better launch.

I really didn't want Yahtzee to review this so early, it's not really accurate. By that mentality, the PS3 was the worst console ever because it had a terrible launch line up.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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C14N said:
Good enough review but I can never understand Yahtzee's insistence that all the Zelda games are the same. The major home console releases change greatly from one game to the next, especially when put beside a series like Call of Duty or even GTA.

Ocarina was the first 3D one.

Majora's Mask had the "masks" thing and the "3 days" thing added so much to the depth of the game, especially for things like side quests. It wasn't just a time limit on dungeons like I had expected.

Wind Waker had a completely different art direction and overworld (lots of tiny islands with a few big ones instead of a field with a few towns). Once again, it totally changed the way of doing sidequests compared to MM or OoT.

An Twilight Princess, while looking a bit like OoT again in terms of art direction was still very much its own game. It was probably the most like a bigger OoT but there were still the wolf/twilight sections to add something new.

Even the plot changes greatly between the games when you look at it closer than "kid saves world, there's a princess in there somewher". I think Yahtzee just gets annoyed because the standard weapons (sword, bow, boomerang and bombs) show up in every one but even then, every game has introduced a few weapons/items of its own.
One thing I'd say is art style doesn't count as keeping things fresh. If you pay full retail to see the new Pirates of The Caribbean and it turns out to just be the first one but everyone's wearing fake moustaches you'd be pretty pissed.
 

Swifteye

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Apr 15, 2010
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Man that having to keep your head completely still thing is such a bummer cause I don't stay still when I'm playing my games.
 

Atmos Duality

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It's a nifty piece of hardware, sure, but I just wanted some good titles on it. Sadly, we're still in the aftermath of the Casual Schlock Revolution, where every title has to be a colorful collection of stupid minigames. (yes, it's a generalization, but fuck me if my Wii isn't the most useless electronic device I own right after my PSP)
Every other title of note are remakes. *Sigh*

Perhaps a new strategy game or something that doesn't require a dedicated 3D environment camera to play. Incidentally, the 3D effect gimmick is the part I care the least about.

Watching Yahtzee ***** about how much of a headache the 3D effect gives is amusing; it paints him as a pretentious masochist who is incapable of finding the little slider that turns the effect off.
Alternatively, I'm reminded of an analogous scene where a movie critic is bound to his seat by chains while the rest of the movie-going audience leaves in utter disgust.
 

MB202

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Just one thing: while Majora's Mask has the same controls and playstyle of Ocarina of Time, and the same Young Link and copies of characters from Ocarina of Time, I'd like to say that everything else is completely different, as it stands along with The Adventure of Link as one of the black sheep of The Legend of Zelda series.
 

jpoon

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Mar 26, 2009
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Haha, that was great. Pretty damn spot on too!

The 3d effect on this thing did make my head hurt when I played it so yeah, he's right about that one for damn sure.
 

Cat of Doom

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Jan 6, 2011
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Belive me I have been sitting in the big chair on planet "Nintendo is poo" before you Yahtzee.
 

DJShire

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DJDarque said:
HankMan said:
Fitting that the 3DS has such an in-depth critique.
You absolutely love making puns, don't you?

OT: Yeah, I wasn't impressed by the 3DS either.
We could just say his humor doesn't have many dimensions
 

jawakiller

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Jan 14, 2011
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I definitely agree with his diagnosis of Nintendo. It now sucks. First the gamecube,then the Wii and now a shitty handheld console that is more or less the same as an older one (that was shit).

I used to love Nintendo, they broke my heart.

Fucking Japanese bastards. Bring back the good games!
 

rembrandtqeinstein

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Sep 4, 2009
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Yes the launch titles sucked and the 3d is meh. Street fighter is really good though and the over the shoulder view takes advantage of the 3d.

Nintendo really needs to take metroid back in house. Other M was a catastrophe.
 

Loonerinoes

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Apr 9, 2009
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The last tag by Yahtzee: "I will only be impressed by 3D when it can literally slap my face."

Like so?

 

Marik Bentusi

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Aug 20, 2010
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Felt like filler for some reason. Maybe because he didn't say anymore than other people had already stated.
 

I forgot

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Jul 7, 2010
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jawakiller said:
I definitely agree with his diagnosis of Nintendo. It now sucks. First the gamecube,then the Wii and now a shitty handheld console that is more or less the same as an older one (that was shit).

I used to love Nintendo, they broke my heart.

Fucking Japanese bastards. Bring back the good games!
Where have you been the last decade?
 

SckizoBoy

Ineptly Chaotic
Legacy
Apr 5, 2020
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68
A Hermit's Cave
CopperBoom said:
I worked with the 3DS using it daily for nearly a year and I never got headaches so it just depends on the person.

Games used to be *WAY* more 3D, so consider yourself protected.
3D films, 3D gaming, done it, no real problem, but 3DS really got at me. In any event, 3D doesn't do anything for me, experience wise, especially gaming (being colour-blind does not help, either...).
 

pepitko

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3D doesn't work properly on smaller TVs, so on a cell-phone sized screen it's abysmal, IMO. I don't like 3D even in movies that much, because I personally can't notice it too much, so it doesn't really alter the experience for me. So meh 3DS.
 

bloodmonkey

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Your friend needs to accessorise =\

Plus why didn't you give any credit for picturing/inventing the Earth? VALVe did
 

Danpascooch

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Apr 16, 2009
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I still have yet to pick up a game for my new 3DS, and yeah, I thought Nintendo was fucking up ever since the start of the Wii, can we share the big chair? Please? ......fine!
 

Danpascooch

Zombie Specialist
Apr 16, 2009
5,231
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0
pepitko said:
3D doesn't work properly on smaller TVs, so on a cell-phone sized screen it's abysmal, IMO. I don't like 3D even in movies that much, because I personally can't notice it too much, so it doesn't really alter the experience for me. So meh 3DS.
Totally different technologies, those "small TV's" don't use parralax barrier.

If you can't notice 3D in movie theaters, it's possible you're among the 10% or so of people who can't see 3D
 

brinvixen

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I suppose, like many, I was expecting Portal 2, but this was enjoyable as well. Sadly, I was never interested in the 3DS (I think the whole "3D" trend needs to die off in all mediums everywhere), and this review did nothing but enforce that feeling ..... not that that's a bad thing! Cause I still had quite a laugh!
 

NathLines

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*clears throat* Whine-whine-whine-Portal 2-whine-whine-why didn't you review it-whine-whine-I'm entitled to it-whine-whine.

Holy shit? 60 bucks for that? More like 6 bucks. What the heck.
 

StriderShinryu

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lol So much truth and so much hilarity all in one video. And let me say that I particularly loved the jab at Nintendo for simply remaking OoT over and over (and over) again.
 

Mantonio

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Dana22 said:
"The thing about 3D is that I stopped noticing it until it fucks"

Well that only means it works as intended, right ?
This! The fact that he DIDN'T NOTICE IT until it fucked up meant that Nintendo is DOING 3D PROPERLY.

3D that just makes objects jump out at you is terrible, and destroys immersion. 3D that gives games a sense of depth - as well as letting materials appear more realistic because of said depth - are how it's supposed to done. And the thing about that sort of 3D is that you don't notice it if it's working as intended.
 

xPixelatedx

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3D does more for gaming then motion control. What I mean by that is it helps games, particularly Nintendo games, when you can actually tell how far away something is rather then imagining it. I was quite surprised how different it was playing Pilot Wings on a 3Ds vs. wii sports resort on a wii. It was like the first jump to the third dimension games made during the era of the PS1/N64/Saturn. I am very excited to play Zelda/StarFox/Mario on this thing. Just for the record, I hated the wii, and never saw a bright future for it, but hopefully things will go well for this hand-held.

Also, a new console is only as good as it's launch list? So tell me, what decent games came out with the Xbox 360/PS2 when they launched?
 

ace_of_something

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1) I think it's a bit too early to make judgments based on release titles.

2) This was the funniest ZP in a long time I laughed out loud quite a bit.
 

Frizzle

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You know that pilot wings was a game for the SNES, right? and the jetpack was unbearable to control then too.
 

Crazie_Guy

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I've said it before, but the 3D was really not the best thing for Nintendo. The 3DS itself is a great system with a vast amount of potential, albeit currently untapped. It's just that the dialogue surrounding the device is almost exclusively centered around the 3D. People just can't see past it for some reason. And while that isn't entirely bad from a marketing perspective, it remains that the 3D itself is a mixed bag and to many underwhelming.

It's unfortunate that this seems to draw attention away from the fact that it is still the DS 2. It is still the next generation handheld, powerful and and waiting to show off. I can't help but think it would have been better off dropping the 3D and just being the DS 2, plain and simple. Of course, an Xbox 360 playing Halo 1 isn't very impressive, and likewise the 3DS has nothing to show for what it is. Yahtzee is entirely correct about the current titles being horrible, but the system will come into its stride.
 

CriticalQuit

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Three things that will redeem the 3DS.

Final Fantasy V 3DS.

Final Fantasy VI 3DS.

and best of all:

Cave Story 3DS.
 

Electrogecko

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Wow, this video had very little substantial criticism.

And I have a feeling he won't be as head over heels for Portal 2 as everybody seems to think he'll be.
 

Electrogecko

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Seems to be some confusion about the price of 3ds games. To clarify, they are $40 USD.

I found the jetpack easier to maneuver than the other 2 vehicles after about an hour of practice. To say it handles badly is asinine- you simply are a bad driver.

And I'll say it for about the 1000th time- The Zelda games have more variety between them than just about any major videogame franchise in history. Exactly how can he review about 30 games from this generation that are the exact same concept (shooters) then rip on Zelda for being unoriginal is beyond me.

Oh and the streetpass feature works fine. I don't know what he's going on about during that segment.
 

CriticalQuit

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40 USD is the price of some DS games (ex Pokemon HG/SS) so that's not so bad.

I still say Cave Story 3DS is going to kick ass. I don't have a 3DS yet, that's what I'm waiting on.
 

srpilha

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true, less in-depth criticism in this vid than others, but I LLOL'd (litterally LOL'd) with Señor Koquonfaes and everything that followed. brilliant piece of toilet humour, and probably the only time paedophilia has been made fun of in an adequately funny way. so yeah, all good. :D
 

Sicram

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Awesome video! The "Koquonfaes" and kids parts made me to laugh but I held it back so I giggled instead, which made some people look at me like if I were high.

For me any handheld is "utter bollocks". Why? Because I have no interest in them at all and there's no single game I find interesting. I also like to do other things than stare at a screen when not sitting at my computer.

Hell, I barely even watch TV so I have no idea what's even going on in that TV world. Looking forward to Portal 2 next week!
 

siNwrath

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DanDeFool said:
And this whole 3DS thing is triple-y lame because now Mega Man Legends 3 is going to be cancelled (probably) due to the fact that nobody wants to buy this gimmicky piece of crap.

For my part, Nintendo has been sliding steadily downhill ever since they decided to release the N64 with a cartridge slot instead of a CD-ROM drive.
People are buying it...
 

Fusionxl

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OhJohnNo said:
Portal 2 should be an interesting review - "Hey! Let's see how much I can praise this game without losing my fanbase!"
The thing is, the game really does deserve it. Portal 2 is easily my GoTY and they're going to have to try hard to knock it down from its rightful throne.
 

WilliamRLBaker

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yeah...Very much disliked the whole webby popup its actually the video you better wait till it loads since your not a subscriber and the site is generally slow with all its ad's no don't close the window because you cant get the video to load in the main page just wait dammit.
just for that you are out of my consideration for webby award voting escapist *actually I was never going to sign up for an account on an aol website anyways*
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Quizza said:
Someone's butthurt
Butthurt? No. Just tired of Yahtzee forcing the same elitist viewpoint into every Nintendo related review and people not seeing how much of biased drunkard he really is. I will admit right now that Nintendo does make mistakes (The Virtual Boy, the GC Bongo Controller and E3'08. There I just gave you 3 examples in which they fucked up) but I do not watch Yahtzee to act basically like the Seth McFarland of game critics which is basically what he's acting like every time he's reviewed something from Nintendo.
 

Yopaz

Sarcastic overlord
Jun 3, 2009
6,092
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Assassin Xaero said:
Every time they have a success it is followed by a failure? Which was the last failure? I didn't think the Gamecube did that bad, especially with Metroid Prime.
Well, the GameCube did do terrible, I think it was a good console, but worldwide it was a flop beeaten by everything but DreamCast.

Great review, though I actually like the 3DS.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Lordofthesuplex said:
Quizza said:
Someone's butthurt
Butthurt? No. Just tired of Yahtzee forcing the same elitist viewpoint into every Nintendo related review and people not seeing how much of biased drunkard he really is. I will admit right now that Nintendo does make mistakes (The Virtual Boy, the GC Bongo Controller and E3'08. There I just gave you 3 examples in which they fucked up) but I do not watch Yahtzee to act basically like the Seth McFarland of game critics which is basically what he's acting like every time he's reviewed something from Nintendo.
You can get a cream for that, you know.
 

esliang

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Nov 18, 2009
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I was considering getting one of these too...I feel like Yahtzee hit the nail on the head.
 

Aiddon_v1legacy

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yes Yahtzee, let's foresee doom after the thing has only been out for two months. His bizarre vendetta once again continues

Lordofthesuplex said:
Butthurt? No. Just tired of Yahtzee forcing the same elitist viewpoint into every Nintendo related review and people not seeing how much of biased drunkard he really is. I will admit right now that Nintendo does make mistakes (The Virtual Boy, the GC Bongo Controller and E3'08. There I just gave you 3 examples in which they fucked up) but I do not watch Yahtzee to act basically like the Seth McFarland of game critics which is basically what he's acting like every time he's reviewed something from Nintendo.
That's actually how I'm feeling. His material regarding Nintendo is just, well, STALE at best. Thing is Nintendo's going to have the last laugh with him anyway.
 

ZetaZeta

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Oct 23, 2007
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Portal 2's review will be about Load Screens and Puzzle Difficulty (or the lack thereof).
That'll probably be it though.
 

Yopaz

Sarcastic overlord
Jun 3, 2009
6,092
0
0
Electrogecko said:
Seems to be some confusion about the price of 3ds games. To clarify, they are $40 USD.

I found the jetpack easier to maneuver than the other 2 vehicles after about an hour of practice. To say it handles badly is asinine- you simply are a bad driver.

And I'll say it for about the 1000th time- The Zelda games have more variety between them than just about any major videogame franchise in history. Exactly how can he review about 30 games from this generation that are the exact same concept (shooters) then rip on Zelda for being unoriginal is beyond me.

Oh and the streetpass feature works fine. I don't know what he's going on about during that segment.
A: He didn't say that all Zelda games are the same, but that Ocarina of Time has been released on every console following a different Zelda release. Ocarina of Time was bundles with Wind Waker, and released on the virtual console.
B: He constantly rips on shooters for being generic, gritty, boring and often cover based.

He's not the only one who's had problems with Streepass either.
 

DoctorPhil

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PixelKing said:
Am I the only one who got the old zp reference in his little paragraph during the credits?
I certainly didn't get it(though I laughed at that part harder than any other). Enlighten me.
 

PixelKing

Moderately confused.
Sep 4, 2009
1,733
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DoctorPhil said:
PixelKing said:
Am I the only one who got the old zp reference in his little paragraph during the credits?
I certainly didn't get it(though I laughed at that part harder than any other). Enlighten me.
Gareth Gobblecock was his character in a mmo he reviewed when he first got the job, he apparently gave him bright pink armour. I think the game was called tabusa something.
 

DoctorPhil

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Lordofthesuplex said:
Quizza said:
Someone's butthurt
Butthurt? No. Just tired of Yahtzee forcing the same elitist viewpoint into every Nintendo related review and people not seeing how much of biased drunkard he really is. I will admit right now that Nintendo does make mistakes (The Virtual Boy, the GC Bongo Controller and E3'08. There I just gave you 3 examples in which they fucked up) but I do not watch Yahtzee to act basically like the Seth McFarland of game critics which is basically what he's acting like every time he's reviewed something from Nintendo.
It's meant to be taken with a grain of salt. I'm kind of a Nintendo fanboy but I can laugh about it because there's a core of truth in there. Don't take it too seriously. He's only trying to entertain us, he's not trying to be an uber witty bawler.

PixelKing said:
DoctorPhil said:
PixelKing said:
Am I the only one who got the old zp reference in his little paragraph during the credits?
I certainly didn't get it(though I laughed at that part harder than any other). Enlighten me.
Gareth Gobblecock was his character in a mmo he reviewed when he first got the job, he apparently gave him bright pink armour. I think the game was called tabusa something.
Thanks. I'll look it up sometime, sounds like fun.
 

Electrogecko

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Yopaz said:
Electrogecko said:
Seems to be some confusion about the price of 3ds games. To clarify, they are $40 USD.

I found the jetpack easier to maneuver than the other 2 vehicles after about an hour of practice. To say it handles badly is asinine- you simply are a bad driver.

And I'll say it for about the 1000th time- The Zelda games have more variety between them than just about any major videogame franchise in history. Exactly how can he review about 30 games from this generation that are the exact same concept (shooters) then rip on Zelda for being unoriginal is beyond me.

Oh and the streetpass feature works fine. I don't know what he's going on about during that segment.
A: He didn't say that all Zelda games are the same, but that Ocarina of Time has been released on every console following a different Zelda release. Ocarina of Time was bundles with Wind Waker, and released on the virtual console.
B: He constantly rips on shooters for being generic, gritty, boring and often cover based.

He's not the only one who's had problems with Streepass either.
You're right. He didn't say all Zelda games are the same. He said they're all Ocarina of Time. He didn't touch on the fact that OOT has been released on multiple consoles.

And the cover system is one of the biggest innovations the shooter got this generation. The fact that he rips on it is pretty narrow-minded, but my point remains that he uses this "Nintendo rehashes everything" as the crux of all his anti-Nintendo arguments (along with way too many users of the Escapist) when they are in no way deserving that criticism.

I think there's confusion over the initial setup of Streetpass and the requirements for it to initiate, but neither me nor anybody I know that owns the system has had any trouble with it (not that I've heard of anyway) and I just don't think it's a legitimate criticism. It's not rocket science- you have to have streetpass enabled for w/e titles you want, your wireless switch needs to be on, and it needs to be in sleep mode. (closed w/o being shut down)

I think people put waaaaay too much faith in Yahtzee's words. I'm sure the man is well aware that several of his points are bullshit and there for comedic effect, but the majority of his viewers don't seem to understand this.
 

Wintermoot

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no Portal 2?
does this mean he think,s it,s perfect? (he said he really like Portal and Portal improves on the things he likes.)
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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deadbeat503 said:
Ya, the 3DS release was kind of underwhelming.
That's the understatement of the year. THE only thing hyping up the 3DS is the Megaman Legends 3: Prologue game, which is being released via the 3DS shop when it starts in May whenever. That's like... $2-3 to justify a $250 brick, that can't handle DS games worth crap at that. My fat DS is still working so no reason to drop it.

And Yahtzee, can I join you on the planet now please? I've been facepalming for Nintendo since they changed the original name of the system to the "Wii", and I always get stopped at the gate by a space monkey. Is it because my dad bought a Wii and I played a game or two with him of Wii Sports to be nice?
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Lordofthesuplex said:
Quizza said:
Someone's butthurt
Butthurt? No. Just tired of Yahtzee forcing the same elitist viewpoint into every Nintendo related review and people not seeing how much of biased drunkard he really is. I will admit right now that Nintendo does make mistakes (The Virtual Boy, the GC Bongo Controller and E3'08. There I just gave you 3 examples in which they fucked up) but I do not watch Yahtzee to act basically like the Seth McFarland of game critics which is basically what he's acting like every time he's reviewed something from Nintendo.
Whenever someone is, inarguably, smart and he offends you; call him an elitist!
ALWAYS!

(Seriously, people say the same shit to the Escapist's community, but it doesn't make it true.
 

Nostalgia

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Enlong said:
DoctorPhil said:
Can't remember the last time I saw such a funny ZP.
Really?

I mean, it was OK, but as someone else said, his Nintendo-based reviews are becoming kinda predictable. It's always "Nintendo is cashing in on weak stuff when it's not failing hard", "Motion Controls are a dying breed", "sequels are horrible", "HAHAHA Zelda", "I'll be proven right" in some order.

I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't biased, but I kinda prefer ones where he's not banging on about Nintendo. Because, whether I agree with them or not, they're more funny.
Pretty much this.
His Nintendo related reviews are so predictable and old now that they're not funny anymore, hell, if they ever were. After being on here for so long, the hate towards Nintendo kinda makes any "criticism" towards them seem like a religious chant. Step into a thread and recite ten "Hail HD," three "Glory be to the DLC," two "Our Achievements," and one "FPS' Creed."
 

Yopaz

Sarcastic overlord
Jun 3, 2009
6,092
0
0
Electrogecko said:
Yopaz said:
Electrogecko said:
Seems to be some confusion about the price of 3ds games. To clarify, they are $40 USD.

I found the jetpack easier to maneuver than the other 2 vehicles after about an hour of practice. To say it handles badly is asinine- you simply are a bad driver.

And I'll say it for about the 1000th time- The Zelda games have more variety between them than just about any major videogame franchise in history. Exactly how can he review about 30 games from this generation that are the exact same concept (shooters) then rip on Zelda for being unoriginal is beyond me.

Oh and the streetpass feature works fine. I don't know what he's going on about during that segment.
A: He didn't say that all Zelda games are the same, but that Ocarina of Time has been released on every console following a different Zelda release. Ocarina of Time was bundles with Wind Waker, and released on the virtual console.
B: He constantly rips on shooters for being generic, gritty, boring and often cover based.

He's not the only one who's had problems with Streepass either.
You're right. He didn't say all Zelda games are the same. He said they're all Ocarina of Time. He didn't touch on the fact that OOT has been released on multiple consoles.

And the cover system is one of the biggest innovations the shooter got this generation. The fact that he rips on it is pretty narrow-minded, but my point remains that he uses this "Nintendo rehashes everything" as the crux of all his anti-Nintendo arguments (along with way too many users of the Escapist) when they are in no way deserving that criticism.

I think there's confusion over the initial setup of Streetpass and the requirements for it to initiate, but neither me nor anybody I know that owns the system has had any trouble with it (not that I've heard of anyway) and I just don't think it's a legitimate criticism. It's not rocket science- you have to have streetpass enabled for w/e titles you want, your wireless switch needs to be on, and it needs to be in sleep mode. (closed w/o being shut down)

I think people put waaaaay too much faith in Yahtzee's words. I'm sure the man is well aware that several of his points are bullshit and there for comedic effect, but the majority of his viewers don't seem to understand this.
OK, I see was wrong with Zelda, and you are right when you say he gives unfair criticism that isn't meant to be taken seriously, but is. Really, I love the 3DS, but he does have several valid points here.
I also mentioned the fact that he complains about cover based shooting because you said he NEVER complains about shooters, when he complains about just about everything. There are actually quite few games he doesn't complain about. You seem to want to disagree with him which makes you just as bad as anyone who wants to agree with him. I agree with him when he makes a valid point, that doesn't mean I share his opinion.
Also, one more question. How is hiding behind a cover, getting up to shoot, hiding, waiting for your health to regenerate, then repeat the process the biggest innovation? You could hide behind covers in Half-Life, that's not a new game.
Also, how stupid do you think I am? Of course I carry the 3DS in sleep mode while walking around in places where there should be someone else with a 3DS while having wi-fi turned on. Having IQ over 80 I understood this as soon as I understood there was something called Streetpass on the thing. It gives you a tutorial that explains everything to you in so much details that you would have to be an idiot not to understand it.
 
Nov 12, 2010
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Bleh, 3D. The most useless gimmick since "smell-o-rama". At least in its current state. Not to mention all those migraines a certain percentage of the population get just by watching it.

The first and last 3D movie I ever saw was "Avatar" and it was supposed to have the best 3D around, yet it actually wasn't that good, not to mention the movie was as good as a monkey's arse.

I am yet to play a 3D game though, since I am an Nvidia hater and thus an ATI (now AMD, Intel beats it in the CPU department though) fanboy. Still even if I were an Nvidia fanboy I would still give 3D a pass, since I absolutely despise those retarded 3D glasses! But seeing how looking at the same spot from the same distance is not that much of an improvement, who gives a monkey's arse about it?

Still, I might reconsider on two conditions. First: no stupid 3D glasses! And second: being able to experience 3D from a wide variety angles and at a reasonable distance. The first one is already realized by Nintendo. And the second one probably wouldn't be that hard to engineer: all you need is a sensor badge that calibrates 3D on the fly relative to your position. Well of course it would be hard to engineer, but my idea might be worth looking into, and I'm not even an engineer. That idea has one serious drawback though, only you would be able to enjoy that 3D and a spectator behind your back would only see a pixelated smoothie. But for us gamers it's not that important, especially not for DS users.
 

Louzon

New member
Apr 9, 2009
115
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0
I have one and I like it a lot. I don't know what the headache talk is about, I've played Samurai Warriors: Chronicles for over an hour (to finish one level, you know how that goes with that game, lol) and never had any eye strain, so maybe it's a "happens to certain people but not everyone" thing.

And, what the hell, Australia? $60 for Pilotwings? EVERY game in the states is $40.
 

Ddgafd

New member
Jul 11, 2009
475
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0
Why the hell are people complaining about the 3D? Not only can you turn it off, you can adjust it so it won't cause headaches nearly as often.

Oh wait, I forgot. This is The Escapist. Ignore my previous statement because it actually makes sense, and sense has no place here.
 

AlexWinter

New member
Jun 24, 2009
401
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0
What the hell did these guys get put on probation for?

OT: Nothing other than the obvious.
 

jsnfloyd

New member
Mar 24, 2011
16
0
0
Worgen said:
it was rushed out a bit quick, Im annoyed the online store isnt even up yet but its launch titles are about as good as any system launch, almost no modern system has launched with a strong line up of games
The 360 launched with Need for Speed: Underground, which was one of the best in the series, Perfect Dark: Zero, which was decent until you tried multiplayer, and Oblivion. I don't know if I missed anything else, but that's a pretty decent line up.
 
Nov 12, 2010
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Ddgafd said:
Why the hell are people complaining about the 3D? Not only can you turn it off, you can adjust it so it won't cause headaches nearly as often.

Oh wait, I forgot. This is The Escapist. Ignore my previous statement because it actually makes sense, and sense has no place here.
I was actually hinting at the 3D in the movie theaters in the first half of my post. You can't turn it off there, obviously. And if 3D one day dominates the theaters, it won't be pleasant for the folks suffering from migraines. That problem isn't as uncommon as you think. Besides, you usually go see a movie in a group, what if the only one suffering from migraines is you? Then either you have to suffer, or others that want to watch a 3D version will have to settle for 2D. That creates quite a dilemma, and it will ultimately alienate people suffering from 3D migraines. Here you go, sense on the Escapist is not against the law.

And what's with all the adjust part? "Nearly as often"? Something that's supposed to be fun (a game for example) isn't supposed to cause migraines, period. Does a migraine seem like much fun to you?
 

Soak

New member
Sep 21, 2010
139
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0
- Beware, this might be a statement of the obvious -
Most of your reviews are fun because you point out those little (sometimes a bit bigger) awkward mistakes made in a sarcastic way. In this case it's somehow very sad, because those are the huge horrible mistakes defining the 3DS.
I'm fascinated by the technology and the possibilities... maybe... someday... but the state of the art is "meh"
 

Mister Linton

New member
Mar 11, 2011
153
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0
Ddgafd said:
Why the hell are people complaining about the 3D? Not only can you turn it off, you can adjust it so it won't cause headaches nearly as often.

Oh wait, I forgot. This is The Escapist. Ignore my previous statement because it actually makes sense, and sense has no place here.
Main selling point of product can be turned off. Why complain? It's brilliant! Kinda like all the best wii games pretty much ignore the motion controls.

Make a gimmick, then have to work around it. Why haven't Microsoft and Sony tried thi-- oh wait...
 

DanDeFool

New member
Aug 19, 2009
1,891
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siNwrath said:
DanDeFool said:
And this whole 3DS thing is triple-y lame because now Mega Man Legends 3 is going to be cancelled (probably) due to the fact that nobody wants to buy this gimmicky piece of crap.

For my part, Nintendo has been sliding steadily downhill ever since they decided to release the N64 with a cartridge slot instead of a CD-ROM drive.
People are buying it...
Yes. Yes they are.

Apparently, I'm in denial, as I usually am every time a new game system comes out and people line up for hours to be the first ones to buy it, in spite of the fact that it makes no goddamn sense to do so, especially with as pathetic a launch lineup as the 3DS has.

But then again, objective reality does not have to make sense to me.

I suppose it would have been more accurate to say, "Mega Man Legends 3 is going to be cancelled because its continuation hinges on the success of a marketing ploy to push a feature that not many people will use on a system that there is virtually no good reason to own at this point, both because it is a gimmicky piece of crap, and because it barely has any games available for it, let alone any good ones."

Is that better?
 

Amaror

New member
Apr 15, 2011
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Everytime i click on the video, just the advertisement shows up. Maybe i am just an idiot but can somebody help me?
 

JWAN

New member
Dec 27, 2008
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Absolutely hilarious, especially the part with you waking past the kids and leaving deposits in their trousers.
 

JWAN

New member
Dec 27, 2008
2,725
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0
Ddgafd said:
Why the hell are people complaining about the 3D? Not only can you turn it off, you can adjust it so it won't cause headaches nearly as often.

Oh wait, I forgot. This is The Escapist. Ignore my previous statement because it actually makes sense, and sense has no place here.
because we still need to PAY FOR IT. and paying for things that dont work is stupid.
 

WildSeraph

New member
Jan 5, 2011
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It seems like the ONLY thing he cared about was the 3D and StreetPass. There are many upcoming titles that aren't tech demos or ports, so give it a chance.

Also, is it just me, or was the horrendous opening and closing music especially loud and obnoxious this week?
 

coolkirb

New member
Jan 28, 2011
429
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0
Im not to worried the DS dident have that strong of a line up and I think Nintendo just wanted to give 3rd party developers a shot because whats the point of makeing a game for launch if everyone just buys the Zelda game
 

Tomster595

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Aug 1, 2009
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Great episode. I really enjoyed the part about him getting exited over all the school children haha.

Also, I think people really exaggerate the fact that the 3DS need to be held at a specific angle. I've played one, and the angle isn't THAT specific. You can tilt it a bit without the image getting messed up. Overall my opinion of the 3DS is that it's great hardware, but it fails in the software department right now. Hopefully it will end up like the PS3. Not too many games to start with, but over time gathers a totally awesome library.
 

Mr. Sparzy

New member
Aug 28, 2010
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I see that nobody saw that "Portal 2 will be next week, alright" in the credits of the video. Also, I wasn't surprised when he didn't do Portal 2 because he has said in his blog that he finishes all of his reviews a week in advance. This means we have to wait a week or two before he reviews any recent video games.
 

EBHughsThe1st

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Nov 18, 2009
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I figured he would start talking about Nintendo in a negative fashion.

It's like he's got a big list of re-wordings of a nintendo quip and he wants to shoe-horn it in every time the logo appears on the box.
 

Kermi

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Nov 7, 2007
2,538
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I've said this before, but not having used my DS for over a year and not having had at any point an interest in upgrading to a DS Lite, DSi or DSiXL, I can't imagine why I'd want a 3DS. I already hate the idea of stereoscopic 3D in gaming. If a bought a 3DS I'd disable the 3D all the friggin time. That would leave me with another $300 paperweight.

PASS.
 
Nov 12, 2010
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Aristotle Reed said:
I see that nobody saw that "Portal 2 will be next week, alright" in the credits of the video. Also, I wasn't surprised when he didn't do Portal 2 because he has said in his blog that he finishes all of his reviews a week in advance. This means we have to wait a week or two before he reviews any recent video games.
He probably needs to play it a 100th time before he makes a video. You know how much of a Portal fanboy he really is. Either that or "Portal 2" really broke his heart, since he was very skeptical about a Portal sequel in his original Portal review.
 

Rathands

New member
Oct 4, 2010
81
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0
Did anyone else see the dancing imp at the end? That was awesome!

I might get one of these if they can fix the headache issue... and release some decent original titles for it.
 

RottingAwesome

New member
Aug 15, 2009
137
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one of the funniest ZP in quite a while, well done
I literally spit at my screen from laughter at the "cock face" bit
 

TheAngryMonkey

New member
Nov 18, 2009
96
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Great ZP, laughed my ass off.
Your Zp's were starting to lean more to the angry side, then making jokes about their flaws.
Still I have liked them all.
 

Geminel

New member
Mar 29, 2009
40
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0
Hey Yatzee, I was wondering if you have ever tried League of Legends? I haven't really seen you mention it in the past and quite enjoy it myself. Doubt you'll ever even see this but if you haven't played it give it a shot, it's got the best free to play model I've seen and once you start learning the core mechanics it's a ton of fun.
 

siNwrath

New member
Feb 23, 2010
25
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0
CrawlingPastaHellion said:
Bleh, 3D. The most useless gimmick since "smell-o-rama". At least in its current state. Not to mention all those migraines a certain percentage of the population get just by watching it.

The first and last 3D movie I ever saw was "Avatar" and it was supposed to have the best 3D around, yet it actually wasn't that good, not to mention the movie was as good as a monkey's arse.

I am yet to play a 3D game though, since I am an Nvidia hater and thus an ATI (now AMD, Intel beats it in the CPU department though) fanboy. Still even if I were an Nvidia fanboy I would still give 3D a pass, since I absolutely despise those retarded 3D glasses! But seeing how looking at the same spot from the same distance is not that much of an improvement, who gives a monkey's arse about it?

Still, I might reconsider on two conditions. First: no stupid 3D glasses! And second: being able to experience 3D from a wide variety angles and at a reasonable distance. The first one is already realized by Nintendo. And the second one probably wouldn't be that hard to engineer: all you need is a sensor badge that calibrates 3D on the fly relative to your position. Well of course it would be hard to engineer, but my idea might be worth looking into, and I'm not even an engineer. That idea has one serious drawback though, only you would be able to enjoy that 3D and a spectator behind your back would only see a pixelated smoothie. But for us gamers it's not that important, especially not for DS users.
I think you're severely overestimating the problem there. Especially on a handheld system. Also remember that its still early days for 3D yet. This is even the first 3D consumer product of its type afaik (glasses free).
 

Worgen

Follower of the Glorious Sun Butt.
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Whatever, just wash your hands.
jsnfloyd said:
Worgen said:
it was rushed out a bit quick, Im annoyed the online store isnt even up yet but its launch titles are about as good as any system launch, almost no modern system has launched with a strong line up of games
The 360 launched with Need for Speed: Underground, which was one of the best in the series, Perfect Dark: Zero, which was decent until you tried multiplayer, and Oblivion. I don't know if I missed anything else, but that's a pretty decent line up.
oblivion didnt release till the 360 was out for awhile, I think like a year or so, also it didnt launch with need for speed underground, it launched with need for speed: most wanted and perfect dark zero was pretty crap compared to the first perfect dark game

the 3ds launched with a very good port of street fighter 3 and ghost recon (really good turn based strat game and some other stuff) as I said, it was a bit rushed, if they waited a couple months then it would have launched stronger, with zelda and res evil
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Aug 8, 2007
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DoctorPhil said:
Lordofthesuplex said:
Quizza said:
Someone's butthurt
Butthurt? No. Just tired of Yahtzee forcing the same elitist viewpoint into every Nintendo related review and people not seeing how much of biased drunkard he really is. I will admit right now that Nintendo does make mistakes (The Virtual Boy, the GC Bongo Controller and E3'08. There I just gave you 3 examples in which they fucked up) but I do not watch Yahtzee to act basically like the Seth McFarland of game critics which is basically what he's acting like every time he's reviewed something from Nintendo.
It's meant to be taken with a grain of salt. I'm kind of a Nintendo fanboy but I can laugh about it because there's a core of truth in there. Don't take it too seriously. He's only trying to entertain us, he's not trying to be an uber witty bawler.
Even with that logic, the review is still stale because he's made these same kinds of jokes towards Nintendo at least 15 times now. There's only so many times you can fall back on a running gag (ex: The whole "Every Zelda is the same" bit which is basically a criticism most fanboys rely on) before it gets old. So no, even if I don't take it seriously, I am still not amused. I think Yahtzee's just jumped the shark, plain and simple.
 

LogicNProportion

New member
Mar 16, 2009
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Assassin Xaero said:
Every time they have a success it is followed by a failure? Which was the last failure? I didn't think the Gamecube did that bad, especially with Metroid Prime.
Metroid: Other M.

B)

Awwwwwwwww, yeahhhhhhhh.


On topic though, great vid and I totally agree. Nintendo has been tripping up since the end of the Gamecube's life cycle methinks.
 

FallenMessiah88

So fucking thrilled to be here!
Jan 8, 2010
470
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*sigh* I think I'll stick with my DS for at least another year, before venturing into 3D land.
 

Lenin211

New member
Apr 22, 2011
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I was disappointing that this wasn't a portal 2 review, but at least now I know not to buy a 3ds.
 

SovietSecrets

iDrink, iSmoke, iPill
Nov 16, 2008
3,975
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Still kinda want the 3DS because I missed out on Zelda and really don't want to play it on an emulator. Also MGS 3 for the 3DS is a good enough reason for me.
 

CardinalPiggles

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Jun 24, 2010
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no nausea yahtzee? ive heard some people say it made them sick.

anyway i was never really interested in the DS, or 3DS. just another gimmick really, not worth all that money.

EDIT: i see alot of people complaining this wasnt a portal 2 review, i say you give it a bad one just to piss everyone off.

(personally i loved it, but you know)
 

Alphakirby

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May 22, 2009
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I'm honestly waiting till June,because most of the currently known heavy hitters IMO are coming out that month,like Devil Survivor Overclocked and Dead or Alive Dimensions...Oh wait,I think that one comes out in May
 

Airsoftslayer93

Minecraft King
Mar 17, 2010
680
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I laughed so much, just as i though zp was going down the drain along comes the good senor to put a smile on my face, brazo yahtzee
 

Venatio

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Sep 6, 2009
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Yahtzee at his best - this was great. I am also a little concerned about the trends from Nintendo, Yahtzee has a point about the lack of profanity protection.

But again, great episode.
 

Hiroshi Mishima

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Sep 25, 2008
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I didn't feel like reading all the pages, but I'm sure I could hazard a guess at most of the comments either being in total agreement with Yahtzee or people saying they don't agree with him. It's kinda sad, but anyways..

In regards to the 3DS, I said most of what Yahtzee himself said just the other day during an argument I had with some acquaintances of mine regarding both it and Nintendo's place in the industry.

I genuinely feel that Nintendo's starting to really worry me the last few years. I mean, it made some serious mistakes in the 90's, and by the time the GameCube had come out, I had really thought they'd learned their lesson. They'd been making some good games, and quality seemed on the rise... then we get the Wii and it's a mixed bag, and now the 3DS, and I personally feel it's the Virtual Boy all over again.. except for some reason now people are willing to accept it and not flame it to death.

I actually quite enjoyed the Virtual Boy, but I think a lot of people who played it and had real problems were either playing it too damn much or didn't really get how it worked and were getting headaches out of lack of common sense rather than the hardware itself. But either way, it bombed and Nintendo seemed more than willing to place the blame solely on poor Gunpei.. who would later leave the company, pass away (on accident?) and then Nintendo proceeded to rape his children into the ground.

As if the bastardization of the Metroid series wasn't bad enough, now Nintendo's taken the very concept that spelled doom for Gunpei's career there, and tried it again themselves.. and I can't say it's improved all that much.
 

slashd

New member
Jan 6, 2010
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Hmmm.... not mentioning Street Fighter? That's the only good 3ds game at the moment.

I actually bought the 3ds just for this game. Every other good game (Zelda, Mario, Mario Kart, Kid Icarus, Metroid, Professor Layton) is just a bonus.
 

daxterx2005

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Dec 19, 2009
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Having not purchased the 3DS yet because of its lack luster launch titles.
They should have just waited till next year to release the thing...
 

Dexiro

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Dec 23, 2009
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Pretty good episode :3

Until the 3DS gets better games it's essentially just a gimmicky DS, I like to think it'll grab my interest as better games are released for it.
 

Aisaku

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Jul 9, 2010
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Since the 3DS was designed with japanese gamers in mind... Would it be too much to ask to access our contact list over the internet as if they were close by? That was my first thought when I heard of the early DS online capabilities...
 

Sabinfrost

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Mar 2, 2011
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That absolutely made my day. No I'm not going to comment on Portal, I read the disclaimer at the end, oh wait, didn't I just comment on Portal. Seriously Yahtzee, that was incredible, I totally agree and I don't care if you gloat at me as I'm too busy pissing myself laughing.
 

JohnnyDelRay

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Jul 29, 2010
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"The 3DS has been rushed out faster than a dog making retching noises at a brand new carpet"
Hahahahaha YES! Where the hell do you come up with these metaphors...pure magic.

I'm not all that keen on 3DS which keeps your head stuck in one position, and any implementation of motion controls to go along with that would be just...tedious, to say the least. One of those who is just waiting for the whole 3D fad to die, and quickly, hopefully. Even though I have enjoyed the odd 3D film at the cinemas.
 

Mydnyght

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Feb 17, 2010
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A grown man being happy about being with little kids?...
"If there isn't a law against this, CIVILIZATION HAS FAILED."

That. Nothing else needs to be said.

By the way, will we ever be graced by the presence of Senor Koquonfaes again?
 

rickicker

New member
Oct 26, 2010
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Aww, you're just lonely aren't you, Yahtzee? Don't worry, I'll be sure to befriend Senor Koquonfaes as soon as I got my very own 3DS.

Nope, not a Nintendo drone, I'm not. I'm just someone who's at that age where nostalgia reigns and wanted to play the new "Kid Icarus" one more time before I die. And if something good comes along the way, waheey, yippie ka-ya muthafucka! And if not, well, there's always the exchange counter at the game shops. X3
 

Dfskelleton

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Apr 6, 2010
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I admit: The prospect of naming someone "Senor Koquonface" and giving him genetalia where his face should be and making him go into other people's games made my day.
Well played, Yahtzee. I can wait for the Portal 2 review, which is probably because I haven't played it yet, shame on me for being hopelessly addicted to Mortal Kombat (I WILL REACH YOU CHALLENGE 300, EVEN THOUGH YOUR REWARDS ARE PATHETIC)
 

Pearwood

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Mar 24, 2010
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EBHughsThe1st said:
NGP- A Sony DS that someone sat on and decided to sell.
So long as it doesn't have region locking it'll be my next handheld of choice I think, I don't care what company makes something all I care about is the greedy bastards who won't let me import games from Japan/America :p
 

RJ Dalton

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Aug 13, 2009
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Nooooo! How dare you make me wait for Portal 2, Yahtzee? You are as evil as Gabe Newel.

. . .

Okay, I'm actually not bothered at all, but I felt like saying it just to mock people who get up in arms about what and how Yahtzee chooses to review. Does that make me a troll?
 

lady man lady

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Apr 1, 2011
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please don't do portal 2 yet! just give it like 2 more weeks! i really like watching your videos, but i want to beat the game and form my own opinions before seeing yours. this is probably just making you want to review it more, but please wait! portal 1 was perfect for me and i would like to play the second with that same mentality.
 

Zouriz

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Apr 28, 2011
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What really annoys me is the fact that the internet browser and online shop aren't out yet. How could they launch without either of those!? Ah well, it won't be very long until they are out(Like a month), and Nintendo is going to giving out Excitebike 3D for free! Pretty awesome.
 

Howling Din

New member
Mar 10, 2011
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Nintendo has it pretty good...
They make ludicrous amounts of money off marketing mindless gimmicks to Joe Dumb-face, and still have enough pull on Yahtzee that all they have to do to upset him is stay on their cozy, profitable, effortless course. Munching snacks on their golden throne within the ivory palace of Idiotland as Yahtzee rants about the shit-piles they leave outside.
 

SelectivelyEvil13

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Jul 28, 2010
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I wonder if Microsoft decided to give (sell) Rare back to Nintendo, and if that would cause some creative explosion that propelled Nintendo to do something other than rehash with one hand while tantalizing the crowd with some "twist" using the other. The games sound like such a throw-back to the N64 that they're basically saying "Look, that was the best it ever got, so deal with it."

*sigh* sorry, the Gamecube has left me bitter. :p

If I look back on those good ol' N64 days, as nice as it seems, I know that taking the same games now would feel rather empty because it still isn't new. Same old Ocarina of Time, which was great, but again? Really? Okay, maybe with more squinting this time, but really?
 

mysecondlife

New member
Feb 24, 2011
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Since I read that putting out content takes two weeks, it's no surprise Portal2 would come out two weeks after its release.

so I guess the guy actually has critiques for Portal 2 enough to make full content..

I personally think it's great.
 

J-Alfred

New member
Jul 28, 2009
608
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I've been on that planet with you since the beginning, Mr. Crosshaw. Can I hog the armrest or something?
 

AusGamer44

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Mar 24, 2011
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I knew Yahtzee lived in Australia,but I didn't realize he lived in my hometown of Brisbane.This makes Bris-Vegas 99% more cool now.If I'd known,I'd have begged him to join up with me for the 'Professor Portal' achievement.
So,Yahtzee,when ARE we going to get a Portal 2 review?
 

Nostalgia

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Mar 8, 2009
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SelectivelyEvil13 said:
I wonder if Microsoft decided to give (sell) Rare back to Nintendo, and if that would cause some creative explosion that propelled Nintendo to do something other than rehash with one hand while tantalizing the crowd with some "twist" using the other. The games sound like such a throw-back to the N64 that they're basically saying "Look, that was the best it ever got, so deal with it."
You do know that Rare's most recent game is Kinect Sports, right?
 

DarkhoIlow

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Dec 31, 2009
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After seeing this review I can say that I won't be buying a 3DS now or anytime soon.

Now,waiting one more week for Portal 2 review(maybe?).

Or is it bait like with Halo Reach :p
 

AusGamer44

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Mar 24, 2011
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lady man lady said:
please don't do portal 2 yet! just give it like 2 more weeks! i really like watching your videos, but i want to beat the game and form my own opinions before seeing yours. this is probably just making you want to review it more, but please wait! portal 1 was perfect for me and i would like to play the second with that same mentality.
It shouldn't take you too long.I'm the lousiest gamer in the world-and it took me longer than the supposed 8 hours of gameplay but over the course of about a week I finished the single-player campaign.If you want to finish the co-op as well it may take longer. Anyhoo,all of Yahtzee's vids are on back catalogue on The Escapist,so you won't miss his review if you stop visiting the site 'til you finish.Problem solved!
Oh,and not to give spoilers,but you are sooooo gonna LOVE the ending!!!
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Aug 8, 2007
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LMAO... this is one of my favorites in a while =P I especially love the thing about Zelda, haha. Mind you, I'm a big Zelda fan, but I'm not going to get nitpicky about the details. See that, internet? It's called taking a joke.
 

Nate-ndo

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Apr 28, 2011
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I understand that Zero Punctuation is more of a humor thing than an actual review series, but apparently a lot of users don't get it. When I see comments like, "Thanks for the review; I was going to get one but I guess I won't now" it really makes me question my faith in humanity.

Look, Yahtzee, we get that Nintendo murdered your parents and raped your kittens when you were young, but it's time to move on. You can't hate Nintendo products for simply being Nintendo products, which is the definition of a fanboy.

A lot of viewers understand not to take your work seriously, but a lot don't. Just as The Daily Show tries to get out of its responsibilities by saying, "But we're a comedy show!" or how Kotaku tries to shrug its journalistic responsibilities by claiming, "We aren't a news site, we're a blog!" you have the same problem. But you have a following, some of which will listen to whatever you say, even when it's misguided or even wrong.

Oh, and it's bad for business. As numerous other commenters have pointed out, there isn't much need to click on a Nintendo review anymore. The criticisms are always the same: motion controls, rehashes, etc.