Zero Punctuation: Oblivion

[EOr]

Woah! Yahtzee has finally reviewed a game I actually play! I generally love his panning of moronic first-person shooters, as I only manage a few hours on them before I am mind-numbingly bored.

But Oblivion--okay, I admit it. I've actually finished the game. And I still play it. Yeah, I have plenty of complaints, but they aren't the same complaints that a person who has spent two hours on the game would have. That is, unlike someone who has spent two hours on it, I actually know that all of the landscapes aren't alike. (C'mon, Yahtzee, I bet you didn't even get to the Plane of Oblivion and discover what the game was all about, did you?)

Here are the real issues with the game: (1) Anything less than a super computer and you will be running it with lousy graphics and it just doesn't look the way it should. (PC only.) (2) The leveling system. Nuff said. (3) The mind-numbing aspect of a whole bunch of dungeons and caves that look just alike and don't even have good loot. (But all TES games have this problem.) (4) If you want to play a cute little elf or magic user or something, you will find that you can't carry around enough loot.

But the plusses are that you can create your own character class, and there are lots of great mods out there for it.

 

[Feya]

Awesome as ever! You got yourself an ugly fanboy from Latvia! (This is the part when you dig up a world map or go to Wikipedia to find out where it is).
I trade 6 crayons and a moped pump for a skunk. Interested?

 

[oneball]

Good job on liking the kinks cause they're great, you should use their Australia song
Keep on bashing rpg's !!

 

[Portoparty]

Full Bleed IS RIGHT!

I agree alot with the review but the biggest plus with oblivion in my mind is the mod support, and there are alot out there.

dont like the arrow curve? there's a mod for that!

dont like the way guards act when you've comitted a crime? there's a mod for that!

dont like the leveling? There's a mod for that!

dont like the scenery? there is, infact, a mod for that too!

once you've loaded it up with player made content then you can really embark into Cyrodyll and experience the game that Bethesda MEANT to make.

 

[Communist_Tea_Party]

I totally agree with all the points raised here, especially the bland landscape.

Two games that Yahtzee should review though:
- Haze
- Killzone (The first one - it's awesome)

 

[PedroSteckecilo]

Has anyone ever heard the rumor that the Oblivion AI was at one point almost cutting edge advanced but the world kept imploding on itself. The story I heard was that AI subroutines kept following their goals way to strictly and would MURDER anyone who got in the way of them achieving their goals, so the game testers would come across towns completely depopulated because of this.

EDIT: I know this hurts the game on a review, since you shouldn't need third party modifications to make a game good, once you mod the hell out of PC Oblivion with the Graphics Fixes the game is down right gorgeous, even on a lower graphics setting. The Natural Environments, Natural Faces, Money, City Lights and Star Gazing mods are a MUST for this game.

 

[krashdummy]

I'm disappointed.
Zero Punctuation really isn't as funny as it used to be.
I've felt this for months, and this review just confirmed it. There's no doubt Yahtzee still has his artistic flare and all, but maybe - and it's just a thought - he's tilting further towards taking this reviewing gig of his slightly more "seriously" rather than feeding his reputation as an online comedian.
Either that or I've simply gone shit-garglingly mad.
Basically, I just don't enjoy it as much as I used to.

 

[Easykill]

I liked this review, and I'm a bit of a Morrowind fanboy, so I'm glad you didn't hate it.

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

Yep, this was a surprise to me. Then again, I haven't yet gotten around to writing my OWN review of Oblivion, so how can I criticize?

As someone who still plays Oblivion fairly regularly, I just have to say: Spot on, Mr. Croshaw. Every time I wanted to get "into" the game it sort of just shoved me away and told me it wasn't in the mood. (Kind of like my personal life, but I digress.) I found it troubling that you can walk half a mile away from Chorrol, then go to Cheydinhal (opposite side of the province, east to west), walk half a mile out and have everything seem exactly the same. Sure, there's snow on the ground near Bruma and lots of water and cattails past Leyawiin, but you don't get this sense that you're really somewhere different.

What really irked me was the sameness of interior areas. Caves, ruins and dungeons are all just sort of slapped together with a general theme- this one has water, this one has lots of traps- to where you have to start checking your map to be sure you haven't been here before. The Oblivion realms were particularly bad this way, and I started to dread having to go into them. And the voices got annoying as well, especially when you start overhearing necromancers in the depths of some corpse-strewn cave talk about how those with good hearts can be healed at a Temple. I really wish the actions of the separate questlines would have had more impact on each other (say, any at all); it's like most of these people live in a vacuum where everything that happens is just conversation fodder.

The quests also could have used a lot of tweaking. A lot of the "story" behind them feels about 30% finished, and for every one interesting or amusing quest ("Whodunit?", "Through a Nightmare, Darkly", Sheogorath's Daedric quest) there's three dozen others that devolve into simply "go here, kill this, bring back five of X". And for every epic-feeling buildup such as the last Thieves' Guild quest or tracking down an "old friend" in the Imperial City dungeon, there's a colossal disappointment like... the Arena.

And the ending of the main quest? Seriously, this is a case of deus ex machina that any Greek play would've been proud of. And what do you get for it? A suit of armor, and people calling you by a title on occasion. No rebuilding of Kvatch (or even the Bruma Mages' Guild, from that questline), no ongoing developments from the other provinces. Cyrodiil feels like a land frozen in time that depends on you to make anything happen, and that's not really all that immersive at all.

However, Oblivion does serve as testimony to why I prefer PC gaming. Mods plug in a lot of the holes that Bethesda left in ("Close shut the flaws of Oblivion!") and make for new and interesting experience. I hated the fact that there were absolutely no pitch-black areas in the game, but Ivellon and Bravil: Blood and Mud give you some nice ones to skulk around in. I don't understand how anyone could be satisfied with the plain vanilla gameplay.

And yes, Yahtzee, you're not the only one who had to do a reality check after a Thief bender. You have no idea how aware that game made me of the sound of my own footsteps. Now I scare people by coming up behind them silently.

 

[TheeSpongeman]

Ok, I'm not sure, but the Marrowind version of the game I had was on Xbox. I don't know if this makes a difference, but if so PLEASE tell me. Because, when I played Marrowind..... IT SUCKED ASS! Seriously! I would get so lost! As soon as you start the game, enemies are too strong pretty much everywhere you go! Nothing ever made sense, usually I'd end up walking mindlessly through the land, not really sure what the hell to do! And every time I thought I found something, it would bring me eventually back to the same damn landscape! Please, somebody tell me what went wrong?!

 

[Yokorose]

Yahtzee You Hand Some Devil. Love the video really good hope your going to do one on Mgs4 when its out.

 

[Rappletek]

I don't often reply in a thread about Yhatzee's cartoon reviews, well in fact I never do, this is the first.

Ok so the series is top notch, each episode a laugh riot of observational opinions.

However this particular was somewhat lacking, it was funny yes, it was an overview of the game yes, all for the points made were right on the mark, but for some reason I slightly lacked that tingly feeling in my testicles from amusement.

Sorry Y no Cigar.

 

[K.A.Z]

Another great review by yatzee. (cough,,,cough,,,HAZE REVIEW,,, cough,,,cough)

 

[Thediscoducky]

I actually agree with him on the whole "lack of immersion" the telling moment for me was when I actually got REALLY caught up in the game and came across a group of guards desperately fighting for their lives against a suddenly opened Oblivion Gate, there was only one survivor standing heroicly on the bodies of his fallen comrades, desperately trying to hold back the tide of demonic invasion. So I charge in, kill the demons, then go to talk to the guard and he promptly responds with...

"Good day citizen"

As if nothing had happened... that just broke the immersion factor right then and there.

Haha that's friggin' hilarious

 

[ReepNeep]

Most of these point's made only apply to the 360 version of Oblivion.

The PC version was made in such a way that people are encouraged to add there content, that's always been what TES is all about. The blanks in the story are there to be filled in by imagination. This allows players to add there own content to fill in the blanks, if TES told everyone everything, then people would complain the game had to much content (speech), and was linear as hell.

On the other hand they could just have lousy writers and that this was just a superficial, empty shell of a game. With that explanation you don't even have to bend over backwards rationalizing. He was far too kind to it in my not so humble opinion. It seems like I only disagree with him when he reviews a PCRPG.

 

[NezumiiroKitsune]

That... was... Orgasmic. I've been waiting, waiting beyond all hope, lost in a mirky sea of lost hope, hopeless like a hope berieved hopeless misanthrope, for you to review Oblivion. So therfor I thank you. Thank you for letting me finally die happy. This was a fantastic review, witty, amusing, constantly on topic and makes valid points. I still love Oblivion dont get me wrong, and if Immersion isnt thinking your the Breton youve been leveling for the past 2 weeks without sleep, food or toilet breaks, then trying to fry your best friend for his clothes, I dont know what is. But points made were valid, amusing and excellently well put. Oblivion can be bloody stupid at times, and (also the bit that made me laugh the most), you do see NPCs talking in identical voices about a shop an identical voiced NPc owns Never seen the "fine moustache" shop persay but it was hellishly funny. Only criticism, 1 tiny tiny flaw, I didn't think you made a very good analogy with Assassins creed, and could have worded that better, there may have been a couple of lost 1 liners that could have made it, but maybe thats just me. Thats all I ahve to say negatively. Otherwise BRAVO! Excellent, just bloomin spot on! Way your loins never give you a rash and may your manly reviewer beard of grunting and axes grow ever manlier. (Nord was my first character, about tha same as yours, but with sneaking abilities.)

Again, THANK YOU (We're trying everything to get to Melbourne to come see you. The cheapest return flight we can get is £800ish Per Person. Damn you England being so far away and such! I blame God on this one XD)

 

[NezumiiroKitsune]

Most of these point's made only apply to the 360 version of Oblivion.

The PC version was made in such a way that people are encouraged to add there content, that's always been what TES is all about. The blanks in the story are there to be filled in by imagination. This allows players to add there own content to fill in the blanks, if TES told everyone everything, then people would complain the game had to much content (speech), and was linear as hell.

The only point I have seen that I agree with is the immersion quality. In the story, you aren't saving the land. You're just helping the guy who will save the land to do it. You're the side kick. Which is boring and not something most people would play.

Quick point, I believe he reviewed the PC version He states so at the beginning in passing.

Also I like how TES leaves things to your imagination. Thats I think, how it immerses you, if it does at all. Apparantly he didnt see that, maybe we're just looking into it too deeply, maybe I think I'm a breton. Who knows.

The main story does leave you feeling a bit like a side kick. I prefer the term hand of the emperor. Same thing really, but it makes me feel like my balls are much bigger than say "Emperors *****".

 

[llamar]

This review features hypocritical elements. In Yahtzee's Assassins's Creed review he was complaining about walking down mountains and roads. In this hes changed his views to mention the awesomeness of walking in creatively made environments where the beggars and others interact creatively(ex latching on to you and begging) still entertaing