I'm a programmer too but this arrogant statement made me throw up a little. Ugh...Hyakunin Isshu said:
Zero Punctuation: Portal 2
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
- Start date
I've heard that due to the fact that some people found his name offensive, Moby Dick is now calling himself Moby Penis.
Strangely enough, that hasn't stopped people from snickering about his name.
Strangely enough, that hasn't stopped people from snickering about his name.
but without the puzzle your essentially in a corridor game, sure you can move off into a corner and do nothing. but it's not helpful it's just there.Pacerman said:
My issue was that i never really felt like i had met a challenge between the infuriating loading screens that appeared approximatly every 15 seconds.
There was no point in the game where i felt i'd actually achieved anything, even the boss fight was insanely easy.
Hey, thanks. Thats a pretty sweet wallpaper. Not too cluttered.arc1991 said:No memes?
Oh Yahtzee, you lier...
Yahtzee, you are nothing if not honest and balanced. Well... you're also merciless and fucking hilarious.
I prefer Portal 2 to Portal, on the sole basis of architectural interest (it IS what I'm studying...). This would be trivial in any other game, but the environments are so critical to the gameplay that I need to give props for ingenuity and execution here.
I'm also a music nerd - the "Exile Vilify" easter egg and the Turret Opera seal the deal.
Your qualms are a general issue with sequels to well-done games. Maybe it's a problem that we judge them as if they're in quality-competition with each other. It's akin to comparing Beethoven's symphonies on a quality basis - you could do that, of course, and people do. But you probably gain more from appreciating the unique strengths, weaknesses and thematic focus of each, as if they are coherent and self-contained unit...
Fuck, I'm going to fail my midterm. But thank you for the review anyhow.
I prefer Portal 2 to Portal, on the sole basis of architectural interest (it IS what I'm studying...). This would be trivial in any other game, but the environments are so critical to the gameplay that I need to give props for ingenuity and execution here.
I'm also a music nerd - the "Exile Vilify" easter egg and the Turret Opera seal the deal.
Your qualms are a general issue with sequels to well-done games. Maybe it's a problem that we judge them as if they're in quality-competition with each other. It's akin to comparing Beethoven's symphonies on a quality basis - you could do that, of course, and people do. But you probably gain more from appreciating the unique strengths, weaknesses and thematic focus of each, as if they are coherent and self-contained unit...
Fuck, I'm going to fail my midterm. But thank you for the review anyhow.
Yahtzee then: The first game was too short!
Yahtzee now: This game isn't as short and sweet as the first one!
Yahtzee now: This game isn't as short and sweet as the first one!
I'd say...
- The original was more ground-breaking, much like the original Half Life was more ground-breaking than HL2.
- Portal 2 was definitely more fun. I really enjoyed the speedy/bouncy/portaly liquids.
- The humour was great.
- The characters were all awesome. Including the coop robots.
- The coop was immensely fun, but I do agree that it would be pretty pointless to play again with someone else. Needs some DLC.
- Why are people complaining about the loading screens? My computer isn't particularly fast, and it flew through them in seconds.
- The end boss fight was pretty much the easiest ever. That seems to be a trend lately. The end boss in Mass Effect 2 was similarly ridiculously easy.
- I personally enjoyed exploring the facility. It basically shifted me from "puzzle mode" to "story mode". Pretty good mix, I think.
- Overall, a fucking awesome game. One of the best I've ever played. I'd apply that to the original as well.
- Looking back, I'll inevitably view Portal as a series, instead of individual games. And I'll always conclude that it rules. Unless they make a third one that really sucks. Not very likely, though...
- The original was more ground-breaking, much like the original Half Life was more ground-breaking than HL2.
- Portal 2 was definitely more fun. I really enjoyed the speedy/bouncy/portaly liquids.
- The humour was great.
- The characters were all awesome. Including the coop robots.
- The coop was immensely fun, but I do agree that it would be pretty pointless to play again with someone else. Needs some DLC.
- Why are people complaining about the loading screens? My computer isn't particularly fast, and it flew through them in seconds.
- The end boss fight was pretty much the easiest ever. That seems to be a trend lately. The end boss in Mass Effect 2 was similarly ridiculously easy.
- I personally enjoyed exploring the facility. It basically shifted me from "puzzle mode" to "story mode". Pretty good mix, I think.
- Overall, a fucking awesome game. One of the best I've ever played. I'd apply that to the original as well.
- Looking back, I'll inevitably view Portal as a series, instead of individual games. And I'll always conclude that it rules. Unless they make a third one that really sucks. Not very likely, though...
this is pretty much the review i expected from you. not the overall critique of the game but rather a spiteful i hate portal fans pestering me with all the cake nonsense that you just handed us. granted portal fans are among the most annoying and retarded of the lot, but to begrudgingly search for flaws just to spite them is just childish(just how many e-mail have you been getting asking you to review this anyway by your review my guess is an overwhelming number). while i still laughed quite a bit at this review i am slightly disappointed in the route you have chosen. as a reviewer you have now put yourself in the catagory of those elitist snob who snuff any form of a sequel no matter how good it may be and just reply "well the original was better".(although i 100% agree with you about the play testers)
Is Portal 2 excellent? Yes.
Could it do with about 50% more hard puzzles? Yes.
Does it feel like Valve didn't think people wanted MORE puzzles? Yes.
Does it feel like Valve thought we'd value a longer story and less puzzles? Yes.
Does this make Portal 2 bad? No.
Would I like to see someone bring out a Director's Cut/mod that adds challenge rooms in, snuffing the quickly-move-you-along-then-plod-around-a-while-plot? Yes.
Could it do with about 50% more hard puzzles? Yes.
Does it feel like Valve didn't think people wanted MORE puzzles? Yes.
Does it feel like Valve thought we'd value a longer story and less puzzles? Yes.
Does this make Portal 2 bad? No.
Would I like to see someone bring out a Director's Cut/mod that adds challenge rooms in, snuffing the quickly-move-you-along-then-plod-around-a-while-plot? Yes.
Portal 2 was in the position that being great wouldn't be good enough. And it is great. That's enough for me.
You absolutely nailed it when you said that it has no replayability. This is a game where you have to enjoy it for what it's worth, and then set it aside long enough for you to forget the solutions to the puzzles. Only thing that could change this is a level creator, which I don't see happening.
4:06 to 4:18
HELL YES!!
It's been my most passionate gripe with TF2 as of late, and I'm VERY glad that somebody else shares that opinion.
HELL YES!!
It's been my most passionate gripe with TF2 as of late, and I'm VERY glad that somebody else shares that opinion.
The reason I made up such a "gluttonous", hypothetical idea was because I didn't want to say that "I wanted a destructible city", then have someone else come and say "we already have that in RTS games!". Or how about if I asked for "real water Physics"? Someone else would just point at Cryostasis, Hydrophobia, or even Mindcraft‎. But that's not the point I'm making; I just don't want water physics in a game, I want it to be easily added to a game, so I can work on the gameplay itself! If I were to work on a game on the PS3/360 and try adding water physics, it will take 1 to 3 years to get it right. Even worse, the water physics could come out bad. The game could end up like MindJack!rsvp42 said:
AS for the part where you said: "but if it's wrapped around a Crysis or Call of Duty clone, what's the point? What have we gained?" We could gained the power to experiment on any type of gameplay we want! A game like Portal could have never been made without processing power and physics of todays computers. Could you imagine Portal without physics? Or take Angry Birds: It looks just like a Super Nintendo game. But the SNES could never create the same physics, because it was made in 1990.
Right now, despite what Mr. Croshaw says, games need to be good looking, for them to sell, and we can't just make a game with great gameplay and ugly graphics.
And for all those who missed it, here are some Tech demos of what can be coming in the PS4:
Physics:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuWuTc5agVA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bKphYfUk-M
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlcc9wJAzFQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grIVUDH4FIM:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87qdmuOesRs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsMjRmaJOqo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xrb8PSpkhkQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwoJ-upjeKo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JrM4ujLY_A
real-time ray tracing and path tracing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbokPe4_-mY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyoHvNpuaK4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnXW0CitlIA
real-time in-game graphics:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_YNR38H-kM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YjXCae4Gu0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GckOkpeJ3BY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvI1l0nAd1c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GmrdHxpYxk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBJIpQsecB0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THaam5mwIR8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5i_mgF7Vas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWZjzSQgBrg
So moral of the story: Valve as an entire studio hates puzzles, and that's exactly why I fucking love them.
Story + Gameplay > Puzzles.
Story + Gameplay > Puzzles.
I'm not arguing against better simulations or the power to handle more calculations at once. I think those are great things. But graphics will always improve. A big reason is because of VFX in film. The need for faster rendering of more complex simulations and lighting is always there and that need will be constantly filled. We can depend on computer power to keep increasing.Hyakunin Isshu said:
The problem arises when we rely on graphics as a stand-in for innovation. Along comes another console generation and instead of actually exploring more complex ideas and creating new gaming experiences, we're creating the same experiences again and again, but with higher resolution and more bad guys in one room at a time. I don't have a problem with that per se--I love mindless shooters and action games as much as the next guy--but we can't let the goal of higher fidelity come before the goal of creating better stories, exploring player agency in those stories, and exploring the breadth of human experience. Not to mention the goal of simply making fun and affordable games.
I just think games already look good. If developers want to make them look better and consoles come out that allow that, so be it, but if games get even shorter and start costing even more, then we all lose. I don't want to see studios dragged into some graphics arms race, where graphics become the standard for judging quality instead of... y'know actual quality. To turn your last statement on its head: we can't just make a game with great graphics and terrible gameplay. Or terrible story. Or terrible cost:value ratio.
Oh god, would people just shut up about space and lemons? These are the shittiest forced memes I've seen in a long time. The only reason anyone claims it's a meme is because they wanted so desperately to find something memetic in the game.
Not that these jokes aren't funny. They are. But they make terrible memes.
Then again, "the cake is a lie" was a shitty meme too. The only difference is that it wasn't forced, but that still doesn't mean it's not fucking retarded. I mean, it's not even the funniest joke in the game by a long shot, and not only that, the phrase doesn't make an ounce of sense repeated out of context.
I don't know what I'm trying to say here anymore. Maybe that Portal has always been a source of shitty memes. Whatever, who cares, it's just memes anyway.
Not that these jokes aren't funny. They are. But they make terrible memes.
Then again, "the cake is a lie" was a shitty meme too. The only difference is that it wasn't forced, but that still doesn't mean it's not fucking retarded. I mean, it's not even the funniest joke in the game by a long shot, and not only that, the phrase doesn't make an ounce of sense repeated out of context.
I don't know what I'm trying to say here anymore. Maybe that Portal has always been a source of shitty memes. Whatever, who cares, it's just memes anyway.
Exactly what I thought he would say, but honestly, I can agree.
While portal 2 did have obligatory filler, so much of the game and characters were fluid and believable that I cant really say they skimped out on quality.
Also, they added in so many new mechanics that you cant say the sequel wasnt completely justified in length.
But yes, they did lose a bit of the atmosphere and subtlety of portal1, but it was a different game. The whole reason portal1 was so good was its content to enjoyability equilibrium, so adding more of the same would not only hurt portal2, but also leave a bitter taste about portal1.
Honestly, I did enjoy portal 2 more, but portal1 is more memorable, so if anything, I would take both rather than one or the other.
While portal 2 did have obligatory filler, so much of the game and characters were fluid and believable that I cant really say they skimped out on quality.
Also, they added in so many new mechanics that you cant say the sequel wasnt completely justified in length.
But yes, they did lose a bit of the atmosphere and subtlety of portal1, but it was a different game. The whole reason portal1 was so good was its content to enjoyability equilibrium, so adding more of the same would not only hurt portal2, but also leave a bitter taste about portal1.
Honestly, I did enjoy portal 2 more, but portal1 is more memorable, so if anything, I would take both rather than one or the other.
So basically. you didn't like portal 2 because it did everything right as a sequel to portal 1. Comprehensive and logical! -.-