Zero Punctuation: Portal 2

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SmilingKitsune

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While I loved Portal 2 I couldn't agree more with the complaint concerning the numerous gargantuan areas in which you spend upwards of ten minutes simply trying to find where in the world you're actually meant to be going.
It hurts the pacing a lot, and feels almost as though Valve were afraid people would complain if the game was too short, and so threw in a load of road-blocks to stall you.
 

ImBigBob

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Dec 24, 2008
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Yopaz said:
ImBigBob said:
I'm surprised you didn't mention the frequent and annoying loading screens.
You know if you play this game on a PC like you should that cuts loading times a lot, never had an issue with them.

Great review, I was surprised to see that he like it this much, I would even say it seemed like he loved it, just not as much as the first one.
All I have is a laptop, which can't run anything more advanced than Torchlight. For a game like Portal, it lags like hell, so I'm playing it on PS3, thank you very much.

Besides, Uncharted 2 was a hell of a lot better looking than Portal, and I don't think there was a loading screen in the entire game. Every new locale was completely seamless. Meanwhile, Portal 2 has you exploring interesting locales and just when you're getting interested, -LOADING-.
 

Cenequus

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Jan 31, 2011
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Finally a honest review which is kinda weird since it comes from yahtzee who usually does shock jokes. Atleast confirms my idea on how buttkissing were the others I've seen so far on escapist, for a moment I thought they we're made by staff of IGN.
 

FallenMessiah88

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Jan 8, 2010
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To me, just the fact that we can even have a game like Portal 2 in todays market, counts for a lot.
 

Couch Radish

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Steve the Pocket said:
Very, VERY surprised he didn't complain at all about the shameless retconning of the first game. Given how he feels about shameless sequels, even if Portal 2 doesn't qualify as one by a wide margin, I would think yoinking away a happy ending in a patch, just so there can be a sequel, would be on his top-ten list of biggest dick moves a developer can pull.

That, and
the guy with the British accent becoming a villain
...something he's raged against very loudly in the past.
Technically, he wasn't a villain...

Don't read it if you don't want to be spoiled.
Just that as GLaDOS said he was designed to be a moron, and the power of being in charge of the facility probably went to his head.
 

Spider Expert

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Mar 6, 2009
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I am so so glad he mentioned the fanbase and the fact that 90% of the game is just looking for white tiles in a big derped up room. Seriously both games are mildly good but fucking hell am I sick of hearing about them.
 

TiefBlau

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I definitely felt Portal 2 was better than Portal 1. Here I was wondering if it they could manage to follow up the original with something of equal caliber, and they did. Miraculously.

What's lost from Portal 1 would have been lost no matter what sequel you tried to make. Valve knew that, and compensated for it with so much more.

The humor wasn't as good, but I'm pretty sure the majority of that problem stems from expecting so much from it. A really good joke comes unexpected, and in contrast I was squeezing every last word for comedic value as if it were the last bit of toothpaste in the tube.

Also kudos to the co-op for making a light bridge level with the most awesome level design I've ever seen.
HankMan said:
When it comes to decent sequels, Portal 2...
Takes the Cake!
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
You win.
EcksTeaSea said:
Anyone else hear a donkey braying for about 5 minutes? Yeah, thats all I heard too.
That's one ghetto desktop.
 

callmegreen

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Jan 29, 2011
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He's definitely right on the whole Too big thing and on the Humor.. Imean Cave and Wheatley were funny but not PORTAL pitch black stingy humor.. But when you wake glados SHE'S funny... also SSSPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCEE
 

Flauros

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ANybody?

Is there spoilers in this review?

Im going to play it, but obviously i like Zero Punctuation
 

sarok5

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Aug 26, 2010
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I completely agree with Yatzee on most counts, however, I did find that the multiplayer feature had one redeemable quality as far as replay was concerned: when my boyfriend and I replayed it to get the achievements, we did excellently working together and managed to wrap them up nicely in a very short time. It was enjoyable and we worked well together because we had played it before. I know this is probably a small thing, and if you didn't have achievements, then you wouldn't have this luxury. Nor would I want to play co-op with someone who hadn't played (I have zero patience and the bf and I raced to solve puzzles before the other one did). I thought it was worth mentioning because I wasn't sure if Yatzee was a secret achievement hunter, or if he's jaded enough by games to not give a $h*t about little electronic trinkets and sound effects pronouncing his awesomeness... Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, he probably gets that enough by reading these posts.

That said: Portal 2 was great, not because of the puzzles, but because of the story development. I've wanted to know more about Glados since the first game came out, and Valve was kind enough to supply while giving us several other lovable characters to appreciate. I have to agree the single player sequence lacked quality, but it made up for it by giving us a story that fleshed it out and helped pave the way for a delightful Portal 3 that hinted at everything from Glados taking over the world with giant turrets, to portals in space, to freedom on a desolate planet with only a portal gun and your wits and I, for one, cannot wait!
 

sarok5

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Aug 26, 2010
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Well, it doesn't tell you the end or anything like that, but it does mention about some content either being there, or not being there. Nothing intense.
 

LordGarbageMan

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Jul 24, 2009
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like the little flameshield he put up at end ; still havent played the sequel but i dont think id be able to sit through it if it's much longer than the first
 

carpathic

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Oct 5, 2009
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I actually agree. Good game, but I played Co-op with my brother and almost beat him up because he kept telling me how to solve the puzzles. Part of the fun, of fun is figuring them out...
 

venn2011

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Apr 15, 2011
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It seems like most people who already beat the coop just rush through when someone new joins in, thus ruining the fun the newbie. Am I only one who's not doing this? I already beat the whole coop at least 3 times already, but I just loooooooooooooooove being in the world of Aperture Science.

If I team up with someone who still hasn't finished all the puzzles, I just sit back and dance & let them figure it out. To me, it's whole lot more fun seeing someone stumbling around & only lending hands when they ask me to.

If I team up with someone who also beat the whole thing, I still try to sit back & watch-- so I can compare how he/she solves the puzzles, versus how I remember doing them.
 

SilentChief

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Dec 27, 2010
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So the moral of the story is that Yahtzee likes short games with no story that aren't sequels. Each day I get closer to finding out exactly what kind of games he likes.
 

Individuo

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Oct 19, 2008
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My one niggle with the review is Yahtzee mentioning that the original Portal's only fault is its fans. It's not like Valve purposely set out to market the game to fan boy twats, that's just how it fell. Valve marketed the game, then fan boy twats accumulated (not saying that every fan of Portal is a twat, just a collective of voices).