Zero Punctuation: Resident Evil 5

[J.E.T.]

this was right on the money I bought resident evil 5 and beat it before I bought (and beat) resident evil 4...And you know what save for the graphics RESIDENT EVIL 4 WAS BETTER the inventory screen was great [heck of a lot better than that RE:5 bull-shi*] and the pirate merchant dude was a great deal better than having to beat the level before you could sell the crap you have been piling up, and lest we forget fighting against a midget with a zombie horde at his command to save the presidents daughter, [I could have killed Leon at the end of the game he should have taken up her offer] though the AI wasnt that bad on RE:5, [you had to use the attack command to get sheva to use her big weapons] at least Ashley would stay in the place you told her too.

 

[hoov]

Is it just me or was this review out earlier than normal? Isn't it usually out at 5pm GMT? Or am I going mad?

Anyway I was so pleased that Sheva was nothing like Ashley who imho was worse than useless. And if you want Sheva to stop using the pistol then put her in Attack mode for crying out loud! It's not hard. I obviously disagreed with most of that review, but I'm not the famous one.

The last few weeks it's been out 4pm, I'm guessing it's to do with when australians put their clocks forward.

 

[Poisoned Al]

What, no mention of that epically stupid idea to not be able to walk and shoot at the same time?

 

[Giftmacher]

So another game falls for the "give em a sidekick" idea? Ok yes it's a good idea, but only when implemented properly; get it wrong and a sidekick becomes incredibly annoying.

Sometimes I wonder if developers play other games at all...

Gift.

 

[J.E.T.]

You have to give her the stupid attack command for her to use anything but the handgun. Wich sucks because you usually dont have time to do that when the horde comes after you.

 

[Duh]

your armor inside the pocket of your armor was possibly the most bizzre thing ever

i knew capcom were idiots as soon as they axed Clover studios and kept franchises they would never ever ever make sequals of, and if they did they would probably fuck it up, like giving Amaterasu gigantic boobs or making Joe emo.

 

[jdnoth]

I knew I could rely on Yahtzee to hate RE5 as much as I did.

Awesome.

 

[Radu889]

I think there was A captain picard statue,uhh.... an ak47 and um... I dunno. I forgot.

 

[SulfuricDonut]

What? no comment on the quick time events? Press X to not die, OR press B to not let your partner die.

 

[sirdanrhodes]

Wow, two weeks of awesome in a row, Yahtzee is back on form.

 

[damorton]

Not to mention that both forms of armor do absolutely nothing. I wish I had my 20,000 dollars or whatever back. It's like that Simpsons episode: "My eyes! The goggles do nothing!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juFZh92MUOY

 

[Tayrtahn]

It's funny how different my take on the game seems to be from most people's. I played through it the first time exclusively in splitscreen co-op (after my friend left, back in the box it went until next time), and entirely as Sheva. I've started a single-player run as Sheva now.

As such, I think Sheva is pretty cool. She's a lot less annoying than many female game characters. Chris, on the other hand, is a drooling idiot. He will happily grab rifle rounds (which he does not need), and ignore of a crate of shotgun shells (which I do not need). He also completely refuses to fire his shotgun unless I remove all other weapons from his inventory, prefers to use it at long range, and will move around an enemy right next to him (and biting me) to blast away at a distant sniper.

In other words, don't hate Sheva. Hate the AI. Chris is just as stupid when the AI is in charge of him. Both characters have equally stupid lines too.

Also, I went into RE5 with the low expectation of "like RE4 but you can play it with a friend". And I got that, pretty much. Perhaps the 360 already has a solid lineup of co-op titles, but as a PS3 owner, RE5 fills in that missing part of my library quite nicely.

 

[ElTigreNegro]

your armor inside the pocket of your armor was possibly the most bizzre thing ever

i knew capcom were idiots as soon as they axed Clover studios and kept franchises they would never ever ever make sequals of, and if they did they would probably fuck it up, like giving Amaterasu gigantic boobs or making Joe emo.

The reason Clover studios went down is that their games, sans Viewtful Joe, had low sales. Sadly, it was the consumers who pretty much killed that studio. But they sort of revived as Platinum, so not everything is lost.

 

[yourbeliefs]

Haha oh Yahtzee he seriously can't dislike RE that much. Original RE games (that is before RE4) are all masterpieces in their own rights. #1, the game that started the survival horror genre FOR REAL. 2, a super nice sequel with a much more thoughened up gameplay quality and experience with alternate routes in the story line making it last ALOT longer! RE3 was the one that offered the least IMO because it was just a lesser version of RE2, but it still had nice end-game modes to battle it out on! RE4 really changed the genre and made it into a more action oriented game which launched the context sensitive battle moves for real. Then everyone started copying it to hell! RE deserves so much respect as one of the absolutely best gaming genres ever in gaming history. And RE5 is basicly RE4, but better. In most ways anyways. The co-op gameplay is absolutely fantastic and reminds me why gaming is so good in the first place, to play with your buddies! And finally, since in what seemed forever, we finally had another game with the possibility to play through it with a IRL friend again! Then mercenaries mode which could be a game in its own rights. And then the upcoming vs modes... RE5, game of the year 2009, and the demo game of the year 2008!

Ummm....

First off, "Alone in the Dark" was the originator of the Survival Horror genre. It may not have been as successful or credited, but when RE1 came out everyone mentioned how it was like AITD. RE3 was forgettable at best, not nearly as good as "Code Veronica." RE5 is NOT RE4 but better. It's RE4 but WORSE. Aside from looking a LOT better, nothing that RE5 added enhanced the experience that RE4 gave me. The added co-op partner was unnecessary, and the insanely limited inventory just adds frustration. Any inventory system that assigns an arbitrary size for various objects (egg = AK47?) and doesn't allow full functionality between the two inventories (Why do I have to bring all the herbs to Chris in order to MIX them) is NOT good game design. And as far as having a friend to play with, that's a luxury not afforded to everyone. I don't have any friends to play RE5 with, let alone maybe have a 360. I'm not going to deal with XBL because I'm not relying on someone I don't even know to watch my back and progress in a game. Maybe I will when I beat the game the first time, but it still means I'm stuck with a bad partner. Granted, her AI could be a lot worse, but they REALLY should have put some customization in to allow us to tailor her to be the kind of partner that we want. If we could tell her WHEN we wanted to be healed or which weapons we preferred her to use, it would be MUCH more tolerable. But we don't have that option. Capcom just seemed to assume that we'd like whatever scheme they threw at us, but clearly many of us DON'T!

 

[thejackyl]

Oh, and to his point about Sheva wasting all the handgun ammo during a boss fight. Switch her to attack mode. She'll use her strongest weapon.

But yeah, if it weren't for the fact that most people online are MORONS, I would play with some random person, but the AI is usually smarter than most people i know.

 

[bjj hero]

Cracked me up. I hate RE games with a passion, I didnt play 4 but I downloaded the demo hoping things had improved... OH... DEAR...

Controls were shit, cant move and shoot, very bad but could be explained, your aiming I guess. Cant move with a knife drawn. WTF?

The inventory is a bag of shit and doesnt work at all plus Shiva is a complete moron. I was crying laughing when he was talking about running away from her in terror.

On the plus side, I cant think of anything better than an inventory full of cream eggs. Nom nom nom.

 

[ElTigreNegro]

Haha oh Yahtzee he seriously can't dislike RE that much. Original RE games (that is before RE4) are all masterpieces in their own rights. #1, the game that started the survival horror genre FOR REAL. 2, a super nice sequel with a much more thoughened up gameplay quality and experience with alternate routes in the story line making it last ALOT longer! RE3 was the one that offered the least IMO because it was just a lesser version of RE2, but it still had nice end-game modes to battle it out on! RE4 really changed the genre and made it into a more action oriented game which launched the context sensitive battle moves for real. Then everyone started copying it to hell! RE deserves so much respect as one of the absolutely best gaming genres ever in gaming history. And RE5 is basicly RE4, but better. In most ways anyways. The co-op gameplay is absolutely fantastic and reminds me why gaming is so good in the first place, to play with your buddies! And finally, since in what seemed forever, we finally had another game with the possibility to play through it with a IRL friend again! Then mercenaries mode which could be a game in its own rights. And then the upcoming vs modes... RE5, game of the year 2009, and the demo game of the year 2008!

Ummm....

First off, "Alone in the Dark" was the originator of the Survival Horror genre. It may not have been as successful or credited, but when RE1 came out everyone mentioned how it was like AITD. RE3 was forgettable at best, not nearly as good as "Code Veronica." RE5 is NOT RE4 but better. It's RE4 but WORSE. Aside from looking a LOT better, nothing that RE5 added enhanced the experience that RE4 gave me. The added co-op partner was unnecessary, and the insanely limited inventory just adds frustration. Any inventory system that assigns an arbitrary size for various objects (egg = AK47?) and doesn't allow full functionality between the two inventories (Why do I have to bring all the herbs to Chris in order to MIX them) is NOT good game design. And as far as having a friend to play with, that's a luxury not afforded to everyone. I don't have any friends to play RE5 with, let alone maybe have a 360. I'm not going to deal with XBL because I'm not relying on someone I don't even know to watch my back and progress in a game. Maybe I will when I beat the game the first time, but it still means I'm stuck with a bad partner. Granted, her AI could be a lot worse, but they REALLY should have put some customization in to allow us to tailor her to be the kind of partner that we want. If we could tell her WHEN we wanted to be healed or which weapons we preferred her to use, it would be MUCH more tolerable. But we don't have that option. Capcom just seemed to assume that we'd like whatever scheme they threw at us, but clearly many of us DON'T!

Calm down there, you shouldn't have any problems finishing the game alone, also, if your online partner sucks just quit that game and find another one. The game was also released for the PS3.

I do agree that the game lacks the creativity of 4, but it's still fun to play. Regarding Sheva, just switch her between attack and cover mode, and you be the one who manages the healing items, as simple as that.

 

[JonnWood]

EDIT: That said, very funny. It's pretty obvious Capcom are morons, I mean they only made Mega Man 9 in 8-bit NES graphics LAST YEAR when Mega Man 8, released sometime around the late 90s if memory serves, was done in at least 32-bits.

ITT: Someone completely missing the entire point of Megaman 9.

Resident Evil 5? Same trash except it's just not the same as RE4.

Are you...are you even listening to yourself?

 

[Brotherofwill]

What's up with the way he pronounces Bowie?

 

[Sirducki]

The best laugh I've had from that beast of a man yahzee in a while, Looking forward to next weeks