Zero Punctuation: Ryse: Son of Rome
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
- Start date
Recommended Videos
It sounds like the devs took a page out of Stephen Colbert's game making playbook!
http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/428242/july-31-2013/stephen-colbert-s-super-coin-toss
http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/428242/july-31-2013/stephen-colbert-s-super-coin-toss
Is there any reason to buy an Xbox One or PS4?
Seriously, I would like to know.
I have a working PC that can play anything. It handles Crysis no problem. I have a PS3 that has a lot of good games on it, and a 3DS/Wii for whatever nintendo fix I want.
Is there any reason at all to go in on a PS4 or Xbone?
Seriously, I would like to know.
I have a working PC that can play anything. It handles Crysis no problem. I have a PS3 that has a lot of good games on it, and a 3DS/Wii for whatever nintendo fix I want.
Is there any reason at all to go in on a PS4 or Xbone?
Yep, just what I though "Ryse" would be from the scant mentions in gameplay trailers - an overpolished turd who only has the graphics going for it, doesn't do jackshit for actual gameplay, and fucks up even the graphics by draining the color out of it.
As for the story... WOW. I-I didn't think that a game story could be as incoherent and nonsensical than COD:Ghosts' "all of South America gangbangs North America with a satellite nuke station they hijacked", but JESUS H. TAPDANCING CHRIST this is a new low! I mean, the American armed forces getting *****-slapped by a coalition of third world countries is one thing, but Rome getting *****-slapped by barbarians (apparently LONG before the whole empire actually began to fall apart and fracture) is just roleplaying as Bullshitus Maximus!
Curiously, I see that Yahtzee only seems to indicate that the British barbs were the only enemies, while what little I've dug up indicated that Emperor Nero (yeah, the same "fiddle while Rome burns" Nero!) was the ultimate villain, along with his idiot son, Commodus (who is so much like the villain from "Gladiator" that his boss fight with Marius was in a freaking coliseum arena). Hell, it's because of their stupid antics (emphasis on STUPID) that the barbs are able to kick Rome out of Britain, and make their way up to Rome itself, not because the barbs suddenly became more powerful themselves.
Granted, the excuse that "the barbs beat Rome because the Roman Emperor and his kids were idiots (oh, and apparently Nero's manservant is a god wanting all of civilization destroyed - I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I'M NOT MAKING THAT UP!!! IT WAS ON TV TROPES, IT MUST BE TRUE!!!)" is still as stupid as the barbs pulling resources out of the writers ass, but it sure as hell isn't meant to make the Roman Empire good. Well, except for the "genius military commander" Marius, but like you've said, that's more a problem of not allowing any input from the player in the game than a problem of storywriting alone.
So, yep, one of the most overhyped "next-gen premier games" has gone off like a fart in church, and absolutely nobody is surprised (except for possibly the people trying their damndest to overhype the shit). Nice job ripping this sucker apart, Yahtzee. Now, if only you could do a review for "Killzone: Shadow Fall" or "Dead Rising 3" next...
Edit:
Regarding the "all games in the future only need to push one button, so the player can be free to jerk off" comment... "Bayonetta" already had the option to do that. And, considering the amount of sex appeal in the game, it probably was designed to allow jerking off.
So... Nice precedent you've set for the industry Bayonetta! Here's hoping the spunkgargleweewee games don't get the bright idea to steal that mechanic.
As for the story... WOW. I-I didn't think that a game story could be as incoherent and nonsensical than COD:Ghosts' "all of South America gangbangs North America with a satellite nuke station they hijacked", but JESUS H. TAPDANCING CHRIST this is a new low! I mean, the American armed forces getting *****-slapped by a coalition of third world countries is one thing, but Rome getting *****-slapped by barbarians (apparently LONG before the whole empire actually began to fall apart and fracture) is just roleplaying as Bullshitus Maximus!
Curiously, I see that Yahtzee only seems to indicate that the British barbs were the only enemies, while what little I've dug up indicated that Emperor Nero (yeah, the same "fiddle while Rome burns" Nero!) was the ultimate villain, along with his idiot son, Commodus (who is so much like the villain from "Gladiator" that his boss fight with Marius was in a freaking coliseum arena). Hell, it's because of their stupid antics (emphasis on STUPID) that the barbs are able to kick Rome out of Britain, and make their way up to Rome itself, not because the barbs suddenly became more powerful themselves.
Granted, the excuse that "the barbs beat Rome because the Roman Emperor and his kids were idiots (oh, and apparently Nero's manservant is a god wanting all of civilization destroyed - I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I'M NOT MAKING THAT UP!!! IT WAS ON TV TROPES, IT MUST BE TRUE!!!)" is still as stupid as the barbs pulling resources out of the writers ass, but it sure as hell isn't meant to make the Roman Empire good. Well, except for the "genius military commander" Marius, but like you've said, that's more a problem of not allowing any input from the player in the game than a problem of storywriting alone.
So, yep, one of the most overhyped "next-gen premier games" has gone off like a fart in church, and absolutely nobody is surprised (except for possibly the people trying their damndest to overhype the shit). Nice job ripping this sucker apart, Yahtzee. Now, if only you could do a review for "Killzone: Shadow Fall" or "Dead Rising 3" next...
Edit:
Regarding the "all games in the future only need to push one button, so the player can be free to jerk off" comment... "Bayonetta" already had the option to do that. And, considering the amount of sex appeal in the game, it probably was designed to allow jerking off.
So... Nice precedent you've set for the industry Bayonetta! Here's hoping the spunkgargleweewee games don't get the bright idea to steal that mechanic.
So, people who have played and completed Ryse, is this the plot twist in the last five minutes of the game?
Because if so, I guessed it as soon as I heard that the basic plot was "Bodyguard locked in room with Emperor during a battle, Bodyguard starts telling the story of how he has spent his life seeking revenge."
Nero was responsible for the death of Marius' family, and Marius spends the game telling the story of his life as a way of explaining how he knows this, and then kills the Emperor as the final act of the game?
Because if so, I guessed it as soon as I heard that the basic plot was "Bodyguard locked in room with Emperor during a battle, Bodyguard starts telling the story of how he has spent his life seeking revenge."
Seriously. They're a massive threat, Hannibal would've made an awesome villain, you could've had multiple campaigns with one in Rome and one in the invasion of Spain, you could've had appearances by characters like Fabian, and imagine playing as a soldier caught in the blood bath when Hannibal encircled the entire Roman army and being one of the few to escape.Mangod said:
And know that I'm talking at a brick wall that likes to hit me in the mouth a lot, wouldn't the game have made more historical sense if it was about the Scottish destroying the Romans and then Hadrian's Wall? If you make the decision to have a bunch of Italians in skirts, why not just top it of with a mass of angry, naked Celts? It seems to fit that "serious gamer" mantra that the Xbox has tried to carry.
From what I've heard, the game was originally nothing but QTEs, and when people complained, they reduced it to just the finishing moves.MonkeyPunch said:
Well, no. Quite a bit of that is the mandatory day-one patch, which is like a gigabyte. Yes, you read that right.Jman1236 said:
He didn't use the exact word, but he pretty explicitly stated that it was. Did you watch the video at all? He described in great detail why it's a Rome-ified Modern Warfare-alike.Dempy said:
There is never a reason to buy a new console at launch. Unless you've already played through every single game from the last generation and are absolutely desperate for more. Then again, I've always felt that there's never a reason to buy any game at launch either, since the price is only going to come down and it's not like it's going to start to stink if you leave it on the shelf too long. And if the multiplayer is so shit that nobody wants to play it anymore by that time, it probably wasn't worth it to begin with.tehweave said:
They should! Because anyone who knows what ZP is will know it's a hilarious joke and that this game is closer to 1/10DeadCoyote said:
But they'd probably write "The Escapist" instead, thinking they are mightely clever.
Except it's a bit too late, since the boxes have been printed before Yahtzee ever got a copy.
Anyway, good video, made me lol a few times and that's all I demand each week
I wish Yahtzee would not have made a reference to Call of Duty. Now everyone wants the game and they won't stop milking it until they reach the space stage.
And another launch title that doesn't stand out of the crowd. Well, maybe in a few months something good will come along.
And another launch title that doesn't stand out of the crowd. Well, maybe in a few months something good will come along.
Having played it, completed it, and even tried my hand at some of the multiplayer gladiator stuff, I'll actually be in the minority here in these comments and say that I quite enjoyed Ryse. For me, while it wasn't perfect, it was about a solid 7.5-8/10. I'd agree with the Escapist's review of 4/5 stars.
Combat was a bit repetitive, but I honestly never got tired of the executions, especially after unlocking more via skill points. I realize it's not historically accurate, but I never really knock video games for that. I think games are allowed some creative freedom. It was fun to play and certainly had its fair share of epic-feeling moments. I really enjoyed every time you got to do a 300-esque shield wall and spear throw. The kinect integration didn't feel intrusive, and you don't have to literally yell at the TV - you can just speak like a normal human being and it picked it up every time for me. As Yahtzee mentioned, you can alternatively hold the left bumper (it doesn't take 5 seconds - that was an exaggeration).
I'll probably play through at least the campaign one more time on a harder difficulty. It was a worth-while purchase for me. Trying to appropriately break up my time between this and DR3.
I'm gonna wager a guess that most people here haven't played it and are just taking Yahtzee's word for it and considering his opinion to be 100% infallible truth. Since when has ZP ever been considered significant weight in someone's game purchase decision? He'll point out bad things about even super-highly-rated games because it'll get a laugh in the video. Not to say that some of the criticisms are without warrant, but it's still a decent game. It's not, in my opinion, a "shit launch title" as I've seen a few people alluding to. I think people are just getting more and more critical about what makes a "shit game" versus a good one. It's hardly a shit game. It's quite fun if you actually play it.
Combat was a bit repetitive, but I honestly never got tired of the executions, especially after unlocking more via skill points. I realize it's not historically accurate, but I never really knock video games for that. I think games are allowed some creative freedom. It was fun to play and certainly had its fair share of epic-feeling moments. I really enjoyed every time you got to do a 300-esque shield wall and spear throw. The kinect integration didn't feel intrusive, and you don't have to literally yell at the TV - you can just speak like a normal human being and it picked it up every time for me. As Yahtzee mentioned, you can alternatively hold the left bumper (it doesn't take 5 seconds - that was an exaggeration).
I'll probably play through at least the campaign one more time on a harder difficulty. It was a worth-while purchase for me. Trying to appropriately break up my time between this and DR3.
I'm gonna wager a guess that most people here haven't played it and are just taking Yahtzee's word for it and considering his opinion to be 100% infallible truth. Since when has ZP ever been considered significant weight in someone's game purchase decision? He'll point out bad things about even super-highly-rated games because it'll get a laugh in the video. Not to say that some of the criticisms are without warrant, but it's still a decent game. It's not, in my opinion, a "shit launch title" as I've seen a few people alluding to. I think people are just getting more and more critical about what makes a "shit game" versus a good one. It's hardly a shit game. It's quite fun if you actually play it.
I have actually felt the same, from the early rumors of DRM to the rumors of incomplete games requiring microtransactions I am liking the Xbox1 less and less. I have always loved Nintendo, but became a Sony fan with the PS2. Then the Xbox/Xbox 360 came and I leaned more towards them for gaming, going to PS3 only for exclusives. I have a Wii U for the kids (and myself lol), but will probably just pick up a PS4Jman1236 said: