Zero Punctuation: Sonic Unleashed

[Alexadecimal]

Poor poor Sonic, he's sucked for a good number of years now, possibly because sonic team can't grasp what a good game is. I actually liked Sonic in 3D back in the Adventure days, but I guess it's nostalgia for my preteen Dreamcast days.

I picked up the 2006 Sonic game, hoping it would rekindle my love for that speed addict, how deeply wrong I was. Ever since then I have vowed never to buy a Sonic game again.

 

[Chrisos]

It has just ocurred to me that Sonic cannot be killed off...

With the current obsession with all things zombie, it would only make space for Zombie Sonic 3D or whatever crap the money men at Sega come up with next.

Kill him and bury him: Zombie Sonic 3D.
Kill him and bury him at sea: Zombie Pirate Sonic 3D.
Kill him and bury him in Japan: Zombie Ninja Sonic 3D.
Kill him and bury him at sea in Japanese waters: Zombie Pirate Ninja Sonic 3D.
Shoot him into the sun: Space Sonic 3D.
The list will never end!

As Yahtzee implies never underestimate the buying power of ill-informed grand parents or the people who are prepared to churn out crap products to sell to grand parents with a decades old character on it that even the grand parents will easily recognise.

These people will not stop until we hunt them down and stop them, it is the only option.

 

[SecretTacoNinja]

Is Sonic dead now? Or are they going to keep trying even if it's futile?...

"If"?

I would love to see the 90's Sonic make a comeback, that stupid big-headed clone has killed the series.

Actually, his head is proportionately smaller than the 2D versions. Compare! [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Sonic2_European_Box.jpg] Contrast! [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Sonic_Advance_3_Coverart.png] Contrast more! [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Sonic_Adventure_2.PNG]

Compared to the size of his body, it is huge, along with the longer legs it just looks ridiculous.

I happene to be a huge Sonic the Hedgehog fan, yet I agree with everything he just said.

BTW, how long until Yahtzee reviews Mother 3?

Why? Is it coming out outside Japan anytime soon?

'Cause that would be fucking awesome...

 

[iseko]

I don't think he hates this game unless you see hate as a eufimisme... Funny review but in content about the game not one of his best. Other than that he really really hates it I don't know very much about it. Either he didn't have enough time to bash on it all or he is just losing his touch.

 

[filthgrinder]

Actually I found Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood on the DS developed by BIOWARE to be surprisingly good, maybe the best Sonic game to come since the old days.

 

[PureChaos]

i knew he wasn't going say it was as good as Portal or Psychonaughts but i really didn't expect him to hate it that much. it was great!

 

[zheaven]

*uche*ollem *uche*ollem

 

[amodelmerol]

Poor Sonic, I want his games to be good

Yahtzee's gamedamage proyect looks interesting by the way....

 

[cartooner2008]

I have to say, Yahtzee, out of all your reviews that I've seen, this was by far the most harsh and negative (not that it's a bad thing, I'm just saying).

 

[rabidkanid]

OH MY SWEET CUCUMBERS! SOMEONE WHO PLAYS A SONIC GAME HAS A BRAIN AND CAN SEE HOW BAD IT IS!!!
Thank you Yahtzee!!! I am not worthy!!~bows~

 

[rabidkanid]

They did, he has a SWORD NOW!!!
Black Hedgehog = Gun
Blue Hedgehog = Sword

.....oh god......

 

[MB202]

I happene to be a huge Sonic the Hedgehog fan, yet I agree with everything he just said.

BTW, how long until Yahtzee reviews Mother 3?

Why? Is it coming out outside Japan anytime soon?

'Cause that would be fucking awesome...

No... But the Fan Translation is finished:

http://mother3.fobby.net/

 

[SecretTacoNinja]

I happene to be a huge Sonic the Hedgehog fan, yet I agree with everything he just said.

BTW, how long until Yahtzee reviews Mother 3?

Why? Is it coming out outside Japan anytime soon?

'Cause that would be fucking awesome...

No... But the Fan Translation is finished:

http://mother3.fobby.net/

Awwww... you nearly got my hopes up there. I want it on my Gameboy so I can play it at college and not have too worry about it getting deleted...

...Which it has...

 

[Mstrswrd]

Hey! The Sonic Adventure games were good. They're the only good 3D Sonic games... IMHO. Anyway, I did find this one to be, like the Fable II review, a bit more bile filled then usual. He wasn't kidding when he said he needed to unwind.

 

[zombifyme]

Sweet I dont have to play yet ANOTHER horrid game! I agree full heartedly and hope someone takes that little rat and only brings him out for the SSB series because everything else is just degrading (seeing as how this is my first comment and Im hoping someone will enlighten me on the top 5 games I wanted to say) I APRICIATE Yhatzee. His Top 5 Games I am actually trying to find them But so far I know Psychonauts and Portal are two of them and I am happy with these I just started playing portal and find it to be refreshingly amuzing. Thank God at least he isnt like every other Critic Telling us games like To Human and Eve online are good games because some Game designer decided they would suck his cock if he would give them a good review.

 

[McMo0^]

The last sonic game i enjoyed was sonic 3 & knuckles... seemed no point in having them as seperate games but meh....

Anyways i've bought this as an x-mas present for the niece and nephew as they thought sonic heroes was the bomb... more fool them but it keeps them happy.

It must be said yahtzee doing reviews of games that are inherently just terrible is a waste surely? I mean i know he needed a destructive review but come on, it surely isn't worth anyones time really.

I mean i'm trying to think of a good sonic game post s3&k... chaotix i think it was called was ok... but wasn't right in lots of ways. Sonic adventure wasn't for me. When the dreamcast appeared i had no want for it and i didn't want to rpg sonic. All i needed was sonic battling with robotnik for chaos ememerald and general style of level completion. I didn't need story... It was simple. Good quick fun, that always made you want more. The best part about the old games was the annoying high speed traps, cos they kept you on your toes. Now they just seem to be a slice of death with more anguish. Back in the day you didn't need all 3 lives... 1 or 2 would get through the toughest levels on a bad day, and you'd still end up with like 46 or more.

Anyways always nice to hear the words of yahtzee, now i just have to look into his tv show

 

[Kogepan]

Fabulous review. Classic Yahtzee. A couple of his more recent reviews have seemed sort of lackluster, but this one is one of my new favorites.

"Watashi washi bashi boshi." Lolz.

 

[DethFan666]

Your videos always make me lol.

 

[Snotnarok]

I must be the only one that likes Sonic unleashed, though I've figured out what most people are hating about it, the hub worlds are annoying at times, and the challenges are something to skip all together and honestly since I beat the game I've been running back to play the day levels only. Though if you don't mind poor grades from instadeaths the night levels are a 90% copy of God of War (360/PS3 version without shame, of course without blood, epic music or insane finishing moves. Then again this is as close to right Segas gotten it in a long time and the day levels are a lot of fun. Screw it I'm ordering an AV cable for my Genesis and I'm going to enjoy a time where Sega did it right 100%.