Zero Punctuation: Sonic Unleashed

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Honkytonk

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Jul 30, 2008
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There are some reviews that I agree with complitely and there are the ones that I wanna punch Yahtzee in the face for... with a big hammer.

I bet he never actually played a 3D game. Otherwise he would know that the first 3D Sonic games, Sonic Adventure 1 & 2 were f*cking awesome!

I can understand that people don't like recent games that much but why they are sooooo hated even though they're not thaaaat bad is beyond me.

Hell, I was able to love all and last time I checked I wasn't any kind of deranged creature living in a cave.

Ishinken said:
Hahahahaha! Yes any 3D sonic game stinks soggy balls. It's true.
That's what I mean. People saying how bad they are even though they maybe just heard about one or so.

And even if you can't stand recent games like Sonic The Hedgehog, Sonic Unleashed certainly isn't a bad game. The Wii version is good and the other version is even better.

So I'll just F*CK YOU ALL!!

Ima go play Sonic Heros now and hell I will have a great time!


t(>.<)t
 

MB202

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Sep 14, 2008
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SecretTacoNinja said:
MB202 said:
SecretTacoNinja said:
MB202 said:
I happene to be a huge Sonic the Hedgehog fan, yet I agree with everything he just said.

BTW, how long until Yahtzee reviews Mother 3?
Why? Is it coming out outside Japan anytime soon?

'Cause that would be fucking awesome...
No... But the Fan Translation is finished:

http://mother3.fobby.net/
Awwww... you nearly got my hopes up there. I want it on my Gameboy so I can play it at college and not have too worry about it getting deleted...

...Which it has...
When you say "deleted", you mean by accident? I've downloaded the game onto my own computer, and it's just fine...

But, sorry to get your hopes up there, but odds are, Nintendo's never going to release Mother 3 overseas, so this is as close as we're going to get for the time being.
 

li-ion

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Dec 19, 2008
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Flared said:
I am not defending the franchise but these reviews are becoming more like only Yahtzee's opinion.
Have they ever been something else? In the end of the day a review always represent someones opinion about something. That's why reviews in different magazines differ, since everyone has a personal favourite taste and playstyle. If you don't find yourself in line with the ideas of any given reviewer you should just look for someone else's opinion to value.

And yes, you are defending the franchise ;-)
 

ProfessorLayton

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Nov 6, 2008
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For anyone who might have thought this game would be any good, have you seen ANY good Sonic games in a very long time? Also, has any good classic game franchise not been milked to death?

The sad thing is, even though these games are terrible, people will still buy them. I was like that, once, when I would buy any game for the GameCube if it had a character I recognized on it. And just like those stupid people who made Disaster Movie, no matter how bad it is, people will still pay for it and then they will make another one.
 

Eruanno

Captain Hammer
Aug 14, 2008
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Although I have to say I already suspected this game to suck balls, I didn't actually know it was going to suck this much. Thank you for saving me, Yahtzee! (Not that I was going to buy this flippin' game anyway...)

Also - Yahtzee & Friends has a show together? MUST! WATCH! *drool*
 

Chadling

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Oct 8, 2008
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From listening to Yahtzee get so worked up on this review, I'm guessing that he used to be a big Sonic fan. And that he'd personally love to desecrate the Sonic Team offices in retaliation for repeatedly defiling what was an awesome platforming series.
 

Lightknight

Mugwamp Supreme
Nov 26, 2008
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Alright! Another vote for Sonic's death. It's gotta happen if enough people want it, right?
 

acebrainbuster

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Oct 13, 2008
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god the little hyperactive bastard is at it again when i played the shit it went straight of the crapo meter when i dide the first day mission and my first night mission first of it has the fast ass bugger but its like being in hell every step you take you stub your toe and it screws you up and when i did at least 4 trial-errors to get to the finish line and i thought i did perfect the game just goes and says" i'm not feeling like it today i'll just say you sucked now fuck off" and the night missions just seem like god of war was raped by a freaking cartoon ALL THOUGH its fun to smash some enemys no and again but i just did the simple crap and played a level over and over till the grade system went sick and finally gave me a good grade and i had enough money to go POINT> IS sonics been dead for years we all know that and even if semi-tubial tards make the best one in the whole univeres and everyone gets it we will still remember the years of blue balls sonic gave us the most entertainment he'll give now is iuf you catch him chain him and directly inject red-bull into his vains so he runs at the speed of sound for a day or to and when you come to get him he is spazzing all on the ground foamming from the mouth and spewing coins he's had from who knows where
 

TheZaius

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May 7, 2008
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Heh, apparently, only Gollum would like Sonic Unleashed.

But anyway, I heard the Sonic Rush games were good.
 

ZEROindividuality

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Sep 21, 2008
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WTF!? this game is a rip off of a fan made creation sonic switch. have a look at deviant art and on google! The people at the sega and who ever else is making sonic run after shit for no real reason is getting awefully un original. infact they should just hand it over from bs fighting style to a game type that would actually be fun, like i don't know in stead of making sonic chase after rings .. i don't know try to impress amy or any of the overly stupid female characters that seem to be hanging around, or if you just wanna make it intersting have him try and fight shadow or some new guy, like a guy who probably has grey fur and an extreme dislike of the color blue. i don't know but's a start.
 

Liminal Dusk

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Dec 18, 2008
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Lightknight said:
Alright! Another vote for Sonic's death. It's gotta happen if enough people want it, right?
Actually (and I hate this fact), but the world works the OPPOSITE way. As long as people buy it it will stay. Those that hate it either have to live with it as is or influence it to make it better.

Honkytonk said:
There are some reviews that I agree with complitely and there are the ones that I wanna punch Yahtzee in the face for... with a big hammer.

I bet he never actually played a 3D game. Otherwise he would know that the first 3D Sonic games, Sonic Adventure 1 & 2 were f*cking awesome!
He'd have a field day with that statement since S.A.2 is shown in his vid. I bet he did play it but he was too caught up with problems about an anti-sonic and the aggrivating Mech and Hunting levels to call it "fucking awesome."

I agree though, the series was awesome until anything past Heroes (and Heroes required MASSIVE tolerance on my part). Shadow the Hedgehog would have been good without the whole "gun-revamping" thing, and that was the start of "lets see what we can throw in and STILL have fans buy it."

I do agree that the hate is unwarranted. Sonic shouldn't die, he should be revived in a non-zombified horrific fashion (oh god, I think I just gave them their next idea for a game...Sonic Undead...)
 

DefenderX

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Dec 20, 2008
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I grew up on Sonic 2, 3 etc. and I agree that todays sonic games suck major balls and they're just raping the customers for money, but I really love the old sonic series, the 2d gaming is the only thing that's good from the entire sonic series made till this day.

I hope they just replace the lead development designer with someone who has a sence of humanity and give us a decent old school sonic game, similar to what they did with Megaman 9.

That would attract a huge sum of money, though the designers don't agree, and fuck us over on this, so I haven't bought any of the shitty 3d games, because they're totally horrid.

I mean, it's so simple to tell which of the games 2d and 3d that are making money, and still the asswipped designers design games nobody wants...

Sonic Team died with 2d gaming, little hope they'll be revived to their former sanity.
 

Raregolddragon

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Oct 26, 2008
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To honest Sonic Adventure Battle 2 was fun. I liked the game was fun with the exception of the Knuckles type missions. Yea I like the Eggman and Tails shoot em ups.

If the guys at sonic team could just make something like that it could save him. But they need to rethink the plot. Forget the fucking magic stones. Get the guys at the Sonic comics to come up with the story. They keep that comic running because they guys there know that sonic can't have sonic save the day the same way ever fucking time. He dose not need to go Super mode the second the shit hits the fan.

My 2 cents. There you have it.
 

intergral

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Dec 18, 2008
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I lol'd at the 'were'hawg reference. Seriously Sonic Team, just stop making games. It's embarrassing!
 

Lord_Seth

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Jun 19, 2008
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agiganticpanda said:
He should play the DS versions... they're actually decent. Probably because they're sticking to 2D.
They're also made by different creative teams than the one that made the 3D Sonic games.

popdafoo said:
The sad thing is, even though these games are terrible, people will still buy them. I was like that, once, when I would buy any game for the GameCube if it had a character I recognized on it. And just like those stupid people who made Disaster Movie, no matter how bad it is, people will still pay for it and then they will make another one.
Disaster Movie was a disaster at the box office, so I'm not sure how your statement really makes sense.
 

Zelmor

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Jan 24, 2008
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I have never ever played a Sonic game in my entire life and I probably will continue with this remunerative habit of mine. The review was okay, not good, not bad. I wonder whether Yahtzee picked it for the single reason that people like listening to him curse at things or he had no other material at hand. I'd like to see a retrospective 2d adventure game review where he goes on nitpickingly praising games of the era where story actually mattered. It would be nice for a change.