Zero Punctuation: Splatterhouse

sumguitardude

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Jan 20, 2010
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"Make the start and ending first and just ad the middle afterwards"
That`s would be great, shame not most developers think like that, looking at u fable 3.
Bloody hell now that was a(SPOILER) boring end boss=_=

I was expecting some big and flashy super boss like that shriveled kondom that attacked sir whuzhisname. But noooh, i just get some(SPOILER) pathetic old half dead man instead.

That said great review.
 

BlackIceDraco

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Feb 22, 2010
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that game must of bored the living day lights out of you, yahtzee. that was the first review you have done that made ME want to go put the washing out. thanks for the heads up on the game i will not be buying.
 

Lasituas

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Oct 18, 2008
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k-ossuburb said:
Copy and paste the script used in this ZP and replace the word Splatterhouse with Duke Nukem: Forever and I don't think you'll be able to notice much difference when the real DN:F review comes around.
This Could possibly be true. But the fact that DN:F has been waited for, for so long everyone is going to love it obviously. So if people are going to love DN then why cant people like Splatterhouse? Maybe its not to everyones taste. But to some, this game could be awesome. Not that iv played it personally.. YET!
 

PinkiePyro

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Sep 26, 2010
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meh i wish he would review Epic mickey
i wanna hear his option on the craptastic camera
but I suppose with the delay in releases there he might not have it yet
 

k-ossuburb

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Jul 31, 2009
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Lasituas said:
k-ossuburb said:
Copy and paste the script used in this ZP and replace the word Splatterhouse with Duke Nukem: Forever and I don't think you'll be able to notice much difference when the real DN:F review comes around.
This Could possibly be true. But the fact that DN:F has been waited for, for so long everyone is going to love it obviously. So if people are going to love DN then why cant people like Splatterhouse? Maybe its not to everyones taste. But to some, this game could be awesome. Not that iv played it personally.. YET!
I got it a while after release, it's not that bad.

I mean, the controls are shit and make me jump into saw blade on a 2D plane, the camera has A.D.D. and prefers to swish around and look at the pictures on the wall instead of what the hell is ripping my arm off, it's got more bugs in it than Zoldar The Lizzard King's refrigerator and it does feel a little repetitive after a while, but it's a snack game.

It's not all that satisfying, it's great in small portions but horrible when you have too much and it's a nice break away from the colossal brown-tinted mega-titles we're used to, but I kinda love it for that. It's immensely flawed, I'll admit fully to that, but there's some fun to be had in it if you're willing to look past those flaws and just enjoy something that doesn't offer any more than you'd expect from it.

On a side note: shouldn't the "like God Of War, But:" label have been "Like Devil May Cry, But"? I'm sure DMC was doing this kind of thing way before God Of War popularized it.
 

LizzySledgeHammer

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Dec 4, 2010
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I played my first Splatterhouse on Sega... Can't remember which one. Mainly because it was forgetful.
Honestly, the first playthrough NEARLY scared the crap out of me, but after a while of beating up rediculously hard bad guys through repetative gut shots and a series of roid rages, it got a little old. I love my gorey games, but Yahtzee has a point, if you keep doing it over and over again it gets repetative. At least with the L4D series they switch things up, make the AI spawn different things at different times. I'd rather just play Half Life 1 on PC and beat the shit out of screaming scientists with a crowbar.
 

likalaruku

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Nov 29, 2008
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I don't know what YMCAs are like where you live, but where I am, they've been reduced to daycamps where people dump off their hyperactive children.
 

Dore914

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Jul 2, 2008
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well I got Splatterhouse and I found it to be rather good. Yes the QTE kills were repetitive but im not petty, they worked. Id prefer this to GOW any day. It amuses me when the "milking the brand name" is mentioned because God Of War, Halo, Call Of Duty and anything by Nintendo are the biggest milkers of the lot. Splatterhouse seems like a game where they sat down a said "lets make a games that's just pure fucking metal... but nobody let Jack Black get word of this." The mindless violence was awesome, the story made me want to carry on to find out what's next, the soundtrack's awesome made the fighting whole lot better. I personally didn't find ANY bugs or glitches at all...

And the people saying about there being no God of war references, there's is just bin stuck in cleverly, the "Wad of Gore" bit.
 

Solo-Wing

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Dec 15, 2010
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During the part where he says that splatterhouse is selling itself off with gore makes it hopelessly quant and a little backwards am I the only one who likes Yahtzee with the overcoat? It makes him even better then normal.