Zero Punctuation: Splinter Cell: Conviction

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dmcc85

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Feb 18, 2010
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i'd like to know when the ZERO PUNKTUATION LOGO MUG will be available again!?
i am waiting for more than 3 month now°!
 

LesIsMore

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Jul 22, 2008
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Another very sharp review. I've been on the fence on whether or not to get this game, and this helps push it back onto the "rent or wait four months until it's cheap" pile, where it can keep company with "Dante's Inferno" and "BioShock 2."

An interesting note as well - after a few offhand references in reviews like "Velvet Assassin," this is the first confirmation that Yahtzee likes the Hitman series, a favorite of mine in years past but one I've always thought had some flaws as a game. Any chance we could see a retrospective review as the summer games drought begins?
 

sazzrah

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Dec 21, 2008
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Oh how did I know a load of Americans were going to be butt-hurt whiners about the America joke. Christ, the clue is in the name - JOKE.
It's a testament to how insecure some Americans are about their country, that's for sure.
 

beema

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Aug 19, 2009
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oh jesus this one had me laughing! Your taking over the US analogy was brilliant. Savages you every time you try to give it health care... hahahaha
Shaved Bear! that was fantastic.
Although you must admit, Agent 47 sticks out like a sore thumb too.
Steamed professor of pigshit... lol
oh man
Montreal does totally explain it
haha
and yes. the last drop of urine down your leg, that happened to me like 20 mins ago
 

deplorable

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Feb 29, 2008
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i like sam fisher, i loved when he got it on with paris hilton....

wait... that wasn't sam fisher? but the green.. the nightlig... not sam fisher... oh.. well then...

damn.

lol@americans whining about someone mocking their country... relax hey you live in a country where you're convinced you have 50 states, even though it's 46 states and 6 commonwealths. Americans have managed to count the same guy twice as president, so while obama is the 44th president, he's actually only the 43rd person TO be president.

hehe.. got to love yanks :)

so glad the health care reform went through though, i mean jeez... some of the media were reacting like it was the black plague.

I wouldn't feel so bad, the only country that can't take a joke as much as americans IS england... i mean that's an even easier target for jokes. Me i'm Scottish, you can mock me until the walls in your house fall down, i'd still buy you a drink.. it's what we do, we've heard them all :)

if you wanna wind up the english, though... just talk about the year they won the world cup.. when they were no 1.. and ask them how much Scotland beat their world cup winning team the year after... man that gets them everytime ;)

italians are pretty bad at not taking a joke too, but they're corrupt.. you can pay them off to like it. The french well they just surrender, hell they even surrendered at Afganistan a few years ago when they heard the germans were on their way...
 

DurianBlink

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May 5, 2010
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sazzrah said:
Oh how did I know a load of Americans were going to be butt-hurt whiners about the America joke. Christ, the clue is in the name - JOKE.
It's a testament to how insecure some Americans are about their country, that's for sure.
Oh look, someone else missing the point.

As a few others have stated before, the America jokes are getting old. We understand it is a joke. I've been watching Yahtzee since he started with these reviews and this is the first time I felt I needed to say something. It's kind of annoying to get fed up with jokes about your country when you always have the constant HUR WHY YOU SO INSECURE? The joke wasn't even posed in a way that would make an American laugh. I always find it funny when Yahtzee will show Americans in cowboy hats in all that, but this was just harsh. Also, I just really don't see why he has to constantly make fun of America in every other video, as the people from it are paying him to complain into a microphone for five minutes every week.
 

mptothedc

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Jul 23, 2009
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I found this game to be fun to play through, but not a game I would play again and again.

The machine gun and the silent pistol were both useful for me, too.
 

Sifer2

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Mar 5, 2009
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Was mostly pretty funny. Does seem like a lot of games are so dumbed down these days. That's the thing though Stealth games are for people who WANT a game that isn't just dumb shooting an requires some thought an tactics. Apparently that was lost on Ubisoft.

As for the America joke I don't really get it who is trying to give us free Health Care? If your talking about Obama's plans I think that's going to cost a whole hell of a lot. In fact last I checked if I don't want Health Care i'll be fined 1000 dollars just for not being a team player lol.
 

Audioave10

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Mar 24, 2010
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Funny review, as usual. I don't care if he jokes about America. As most people not living here, if all they know is our government and the press, those two ARE a big joke.
 

1nfinite_Cros5

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Mar 31, 2010
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I think the reason why it's so easy to take out enemies is because you are controlling a highly-experienced agent who's dealt with these kind of guards before.

In contrast, the Silent Hill series has terrible tank controls and sluggish combat because you are controlling normal human beings who can barely fend for themselves.

Granted, the function where he automatically shoots out several enemies still feels like cheating.
 

Elle-Jai

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Mar 26, 2010
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Loved the U.S. Health Care reference, nicely worked in :)

Watching ZP has become a weekly bonding routine in my group, and every week it gets better.

Oh, and the little man smacking Sam on the head? Beautiful....
 

tkwelge

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May 13, 2009
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deplorable said:
relax hey you live in a country where you're convinced you have 50 states, even though it's 46 states and 6 commonwealths. Americans have managed to count the same guy twice as president, so while obama is the 44th president, he's actually only the 43rd person TO be president.

hehe.. got to love yanks :)

so glad the health care reform went through though, i mean jeez... some of the media were reacting like it was the black plague.
What president was double counted? I don't get it. What makes those "commonwealths" not states?

Assuming that the health care bill was good entails belief in a linear view of health care policy with a "free market" system at one end and a "socialized" system at the other. The truth is that there are more than two specific directions to go on health care, which is obvious when you look at the many differences between the so called "socialized" systems. The obama care bill was hammered together by special interests and is pretty close to being the worst bill that could have come about.

NOt to mention that we could have had several states experiment with different policies, but Obama wanted none of that. Instead he would rather foist a top down plan on 300 million people, more than half of whom didn't want it in the first place. Proponents of the health care bill pretend that the alternative involved raping babies.
 

brazuca

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Jun 11, 2008
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Hey 5' 8'' (that's 173cm for me) is pretty reasonable. Sam could not be as tall and heavy as Brock Lesnar. Now the part of the pistol is sooo true. I never user the secondary one. Infinite ammo for the pistol and 4 mark and execute for the five-seven commom guys!
 

sazzrah

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Dec 21, 2008
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DurianBlink said:
Oh look, someone else missing the point.

As a few others have stated before, the America jokes are getting old. We understand it is a joke. I've been watching Yahtzee since he started with these reviews and this is the first time I felt I needed to say something. It's kind of annoying to get fed up with jokes about your country when you always have the constant HUR WHY YOU SO INSECURE? The joke wasn't even posed in a way that would make an American laugh. I always find it funny when Yahtzee will show Americans in cowboy hats in all that, but this was just harsh. Also, I just really don't see why he has to constantly make fun of America in every other video, as the people from it are paying him to complain into a microphone for five minutes every week.
Oh look, someone else just proving my point. It's only his opinion, and he is a video game critic on a website on the internet, why do you care so much? People will of course think you are insecure about your nation because you felt the need to defend it when a single person out of the billions on this Earth made a joke at it's expense.

Look, I get it ok - Americans often get a big laugh out of mocking the Brits too; if it isn't some cheap giggle about our teeth, then it'll be some hoot about how our previous Prime Minister ran around after Bush like a lap dog. You know why these jokes don't bother me though? Because they're usually not true and based on stereotypes and misinformation.

Most Brits, and I suspect Yahzee included will concede the world view of Americans is very coloured by media and sensationalist journalism; and in moments of seriousness and clarity we'd probably say "sure, we know this stuff probably isn't true" but newsflash - the British national past-time is mocking/making fun of everyone and everything - ourselves included, and I suspect that's half of where Yahzee's colourful flair for sarcasm originates. I sort of think of Yahzee as a sarcasm Superman - here in the UK biting sarcasm and wit is commonplace, but add his particular brand of Britishness to the world of gaming and here we are - Zero Punctuation.

Yahzee probably won't make any apologies nor even comment on these jokes poking fun at America, because why should he? If you don't like it, you don't have to watch it - it's free, he doesn't owe you or any other complaining naysayer anything.

TL;DR version: Respectfully, get over it.
 

sazzrah

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Dec 21, 2008
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tkwelge said:
deplorable said:
relax hey you live in a country where you're convinced you have 50 states, even though it's 46 states and 6 commonwealths. Americans have managed to count the same guy twice as president, so while obama is the 44th president, he's actually only the 43rd person TO be president.

hehe.. got to love yanks :)

so glad the health care reform went through though, i mean jeez... some of the media were reacting like it was the black plague.
What president was double counted? I don't get it. What makes those "commonwealths" not states?
I believe 'deplorable' has been watching too much QI. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QI
 

Maulkin

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May 10, 2010
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Regarding 'free healthcare':

It's not exactly fair to bash us Americans for objecting to 'free' healthcare. For one, almost every other non-third-world nation already has some major government healthcare; we can't just move away, this is pretty much the last place that really supports and protects individual freedom and choice in personal healthcare. Second, we have very real objections to 'free' healthcare, not the least of which being that it is badly misnamed. 'Free Healthcare' is not free; at the very least, it takes money from one group of people and gives it to another, and the government takes a hefty chunk out of those taxes in the form of governmental overhead. And this is a best-case-scenario; red tape is almost always present in any sort of government institution, slowing everything down and making things generally less efficient. Fourth, the 'free' aspect will almost always severely increase the quantity demanded, and the government is NOT good at predicting and adapting to market forces. There WILL be shortages, and there WILL be rationing, and while rationing in the free market leads to incentive to innovate and move resources, there is NO government incentive to do this. And sixth, government is a rather bad employer; as said previously, it has little incentive to allocate resources efficiently (indeed, it may be smarter for government administrators to overspend - they can bribe your friends in the form of buying supplies/services, and then ask for a bigger budget because "we can't do it on just this amount!), and it generally pays less than private sector jobs. So, as a summary:

Government provided healthcare, in the US, at least, would:

-Increase costs by means of government overhead.
-Increased red tape, slowing down pretty much everything involved to a greater or lesser extent.
-Increases in quantity demanded.
-Decrease in quantity supplied.
-Shortages.
-Badly paid doctors.


Mind, this is by no means a comprehensive list of economic problems, and doesn't even touch on the personal liberty aspects of it.



So yeah; we have plenty of reason to object to 'free' healthcare.
 

funkzillabot

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Dec 10, 2009
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Ha-ha, I loved that Yahtzee episode, but I disagree, because I like the game. It was short and too the point. I tore through it in 3 days, and loved it. I wish more games were like that.