Zero Punctuation: Splinter Cell: Conviction

[johnzaku]

But splinter cell chaos theory WAS open-ended... there were literally dozens of ways to proceed through a level, and they aren't always anticipating you. that was only in conviction. you were supposed to get in and out without killing everyone. that was the point. This new one is the first one where you actually HAVE to kill everyone and I thought that kind of stole from the game's original charm.

 

[sazzrah]

Oh, har har. I looked it up and Cleveland was counted twice. I couldn't think of any other tidbit of information less important, though.

THe whole commonwealth vs State thing is pure semantics, though. Their is nothing more annoying than people who believe that they are intelligent for knowing seriously unimportant fun facts.

I'm not really sure what your argument with 'deplorable' is; all I know is that he got what he knows from a BBC TV programme in the UK called QI (stands for Quite Interesting). It's basically a show built on obscure facts and myth busting. I personally find it bizarre to mock someone for not knowing something about their country when the information came from watching a TV show exclusively about information that hardly anyone knows. In short; I wouldn't get too stressed about it.

Here's an example of the TV show QI anyway: it's an interesting extract - and particularly interesting to British audiences because this is something very few foreigners understand about the US (and I suspect there are many Americans who didn't know this stuff either).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwT6CisM0mU

 

[Jed Petty]

not all Americans are fat lazy slobs nor are all of us stupid and everything else Europeans say about us...get tired of being generalized.

 

[DoomBlackDragon]

I will agrea the SC series has been very weak on it stealth game play. As you said it only one thing to do in the game not very big on options and Sam does play very sluggies. Great review. Glad I am not the only one wjo has a brain and can see the flaws in the game as clear a day.

I disagree. Splinter Cell does a lot more for stealth than some people give it credit for. It takes into account not just line of sight but "sound" and "lighting" as well. Obviously cover plays a factor in it.

And by "flaws", you mean by your bias and preferences which, by the way, you are entitled to but by no means law or fact. Some people will disagree with you and they have every right to. Doesn't mean you're wrong but it definitely doesn't mean you are right.

FYI you or anyone should every quote to what I say cause I do not care what dripple comes out of your mouth. It just a pain to go in my mailbox and delete your message with out reading it. So no one reply cause I do not care.

 

[TylerC]

There is so much wrong with this video. Redd never planned on becoming the president...he wanted the VP to be the president after he had killed the president. He did this because he had the VP under his control, and "Megiddo's."

Tom Clancey doesn't even write Splinter Cell, he just endorses it.

"Free" Healthcare isn't free.

 

[Ohlookit'sMatty]

Im thinkin about pre-ordering the book its just that well . . Im lazy and poor, mostly lazy thou

-M

 

[ethaninja]

Wait, so in this one, you press a button to go stealth? (Like the focus jump in the latest AvP game?)

 

[akaplan84]

Wow, Yahtzee, congratulations on your novel ya diligent bastard! Very impressive.
I most definitely might buy it, maybe.

 

[SantaClouse]

This is one of the few i didn't agree on, to me this was the best SC so far. It felt more like Metal Gear stealth gameplay. the kind that you don't want to alert the guards but if you do, you're still enough of a bad ass to take them down anyway. i completely agree on the gun thing because it didn't make any sense to have a shotgun in a stealth based game. the Iraq level is the only one where you don't want to be completely silent. can't wait to get a copy of Mogworld!

 

[AllLagNoFrag]

Anybody getting the DLC pack for co-op for this game? And I agree with everyone that said this game was way too easy, but personally I enjoyed it.

 

[Corohan]

Oh how did I know a load of Americans were going to be butt-hurt whiners about the America joke. Christ, the clue is in the name - JOKE.
It's a testament to how insecure some Americans are about their country, that's for sure.

Oh look, someone else missing the point.

As a few others have stated before, the America jokes are getting old.

Maybe to you, Americano, but I smarmily laughed at the little jest.

 

[Riven Armor]

Watched this review before playing Conviction, thought it was funny. Played Conviction, came back and watched the review, found Yahtzee was wrong about almost everything he said...but it was funny, and that's what he's here for.

Your America joke is too good to pass up on, though. You know the part about the ape eating all the money? That's kind of what "free" health care does.

 

[Hidden_Agenda]

I agree with most of what he said about the game.
The AI seemed to be completely thoughtless when it came to a guy TRAINED in STEALTH to dealing with some flunky who happens to be armed.
Guard A: "Well lets insult him as he takes aim and is well hidden."
Other guards: "Sounds alright."
Guard B: "Hey, Fisher....You suck!"
*Guard B, guard C, guard D, and lastly guard A are shot in the head*
Guard E thinks he has his team still alive, until he's grabbed and "interrogated" by Sam. Then, he gets a "present" in the form of a bullet in his head.

Each "boss" tends to be some idiot who can't fire his assault rifle straight or he is completely unarmed. What a joy that is. Oh my your guards are powerful and yet you suck....Why are you still in charge again?
They could've bloody shot the bugger and taken his place for all I cared. Would've been one less guy for me to toss around the room...

Hate to sound like a purist, and sure they were quite linear. Splinter Cell seemed to be going on the right track while in Montreal's hands, and now this. It's as if they thought no one had common sense left, and somehow common went to uncommon. So, we were given a dumbed down AI system and enemies a child with 1 arm missing could've taken out in a day.

Maybe they just said, "F*** this!" when it came to programming the AI, after everything else just to prevent another "They're late again!" rant thread.
Speaking of too much ranting, maybe this is enough for me, on this game at least.

 

[Cyberjester]

wowa lothate of america in this one

If you just ban everyone who posts in the first 5 minutes of the thread, why not just lock the thread for 5 minutes?

smart, creating a new account to say that comment
until they block your IP address completely

It's really not that hard to change IP.

Comes in useful when dealing with the 'tards that is wiki.


On topic, this is the first Yahtzee vid in ages which I've actually laughed at.

Either it's improved or the cold is producing a fever...

 

[Cyberjester]

relax hey you live in a country where you're convinced you have 50 states, even though it's 46 states and 6 commonwealths. Americans have managed to count the same guy twice as president, so while obama is the 44th president, he's actually only the 43rd person TO be president.

hehe.. got to love yanks

so glad the health care reform went through though, i mean jeez... some of the media were reacting like it was the black plague.

What president was double counted? I don't get it. What makes those "commonwealths" not states?

I believe 'deplorable' has been watching too much QI. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QI

Oh, har har. I looked it up and Cleveland was counted twice. I couldn't think of any other tidbit of information less important, though.

THe whole commonwealth vs State thing is pure semantics, though. Their is nothing more annoying than people who believe that they are intelligent for knowing seriously unimportant fun facts.

How about snobs who think they're so awesome insulting the intelligence of someone who's bothered to learn odd facts?

No-one we know of course..

 

[The Cheezy One]

wowa lothate of america in this one

If you just ban everyone who posts in the first 5 minutes of the thread, why not just lock the thread for 5 minutes?

smart, creating a new account to say that comment
until they block your IP address completely

It's really not that hard to change IP.

Comes in useful when dealing with the 'tards that is wiki.


On topic, this is the first Yahtzee vid in ages which I've actually laughed at.

Either it's improved or the cold is producing a fever...

ouch mate i just had a week and a half cold.
lost a load of weight, and im still overweight damn this attraction to food
but yeah, its not hard to change, your only hope is getting people who are too lazy or scared to change it

 

[Dfskelleton]

Well, the Splinter Cell series is my favorite stealth series I've ever played, because it's the ONLY stealth series I've played. I enjoy it, but a very funny review. I'll wait until I can find SC:C cheap, because 60 bucks is a bit much.

 

[Spydiggity]

I love splinter cell conviction. with that said, this review nails it. one of the funnier reviews this year.

 

[Ange1ofD4rkness]

First of all, big NO NO on the America part. Yeah the country is full of idiots (including in office) but it's still my country. Also the wall jump thing leading to the door opening. Yeah I almost had the achievement to complete one of those game types that has 10 enemeies in each part undetected. Also done (and this is taking awhile) and I go to jump on a wall, the moran runs to a door, opens it, I get spotted, achievement ruined. ALSO for anyone who ordered the collector edition got screwed. The USB credit card doesn't work, all the collectors item (the in game items) have been unlocked to everyone, the only gun that hasn't is the silenced shotgun for preordereing. Problem is you have to put a scope on it to fully upgrade it, who puts a scope on a shotgun? and what sucks more, I can't take it off. But play chaos theory that was the fun one, it had a light and sound meter to show how dark you really were and how much sound u were making compared to how much sound was being made around you, made you want to replay over and over, and try and be a stealth as possible

 

[M4A1Sopmod]

I agree with you, in part, on your review. Splinter Cell Conviction is probably the worst Splinter Cell game to date, as it abandoned every thing that endeared me to the first games. Sure the Splinter Cell series may not be as open ended as say Hitman or Thief and the combat may suffer from what I like to call "suck" but there are usually enough stealth options provided for you to enjoy the games many times through. (In my humble opinion of course)As an added side note I have never enjoyed taking brain dead terrorists hostage as much as in the Splinter Cell series. In order from best to worst I would rate the Splinter Cell games as follows: Splinter Cell Chaos Theory, Splinter Cell Pandora Tommorow, Splinter Cell, Splinter Cell Double Agent and Splinter Cell Conviction.