Zero Punctuation: Split Second: Velocity

greatgreybeast

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Jul 9, 2008
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I love this game! And it does actually change the course layout as he suggests. And the best part is using large explosions to actually alter the track during the race! Like any race game, I'm sure it gets repetitive once you've learned all the possible course configurations and all the possible detonations and how best to use them - but you can't possibly do that on one playthrough. And, of course, being the misanthropist that he is, he doesn't mention the split-screen co-op.

Still, funny video, especially the grammar rant.
 

Sonicron

Do the buttwalk!
Mar 11, 2009
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Not bad. I played the game some time ago and the review covers all the good stuff. I like how he continuously takes shots at the game's target audience... heh. Even though I'm bad at racing games myself and would never consider actually buying this one, I do want a disco ball now.
The foetus joke was over the line, though (imo). I don't know why, but this one just came off as too tasteless.
 

Nostalgia Ripoff

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Sep 2, 2009
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meepop said:
Ok I'm sorry for asking but is that really the title? I picked up the game Split/Second in June, and didn't know whether it was a different game or the same one. Other than that, spot-on with the review and good job! I was hoping he'd review it and my hopes have been answered!
Don't worry, they're the same game. Disney just decided to add Velocity in the title for the PAL regions. Don't know why, though.
 

Xyliss

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Mar 21, 2010
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I thought this was a great review and funny, even though I have the game and do understand the points he makes, i still like it.
 

Formica Archonis

Anonymous Source
Nov 13, 2009
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So, they make a big map, and only put one course on it? Really? I'd think it'd be easier just to flesh out a few more streets and put down a second course than it would be to make a whole new map.

Also, I wonder if there's any truth to the comment about the driving test, because I have a depressingly large number of acquaintances who have similar experiences. "I was driving on the wrong side of the street for a half a block and the instructor refused to let me drive him back to the testing site. It's not like there was traffic or anything in that lane."
 

Locrian

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May 28, 2010
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ForensicYOYO said:
What the hell! Probation? all I did was post the number1 to save my spot so I could come back after I watched it and edit my message. Was that so wrong? O and I got 7 days for it!?! what a load of crap.
OT: I liked your review as usual.
Your tears... so delicious
 

Loonerinoes

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Apr 9, 2009
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This one had a lot more content in it than usual, so twas ace!

And you're not the only one with that sort of drive school experience, I can assure you.
 

rubysoho18

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May 30, 2010
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I liked the review as usual, but the D&D huge banner thing was a bit strange. Preferred it to the pre-video ad for a game though, those never load right.
 

AfterAscon

Tilting at WHARRGARBL
Nov 29, 2007
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I'm going to be really super geeky tomorrow and drive around those fake courses Yahtzee drew on that map since the red one goes past the village I'm in. I'll record the lap times, although the blue one may be a bit too long.
 

SamElliot'sMustache

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Oct 5, 2009
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Kekon3 said:
... so wait, did you like it?
The constant stream of insults and criticisms of the game's core mechanics didn't clue you in?

hawk533 said:
I'm pretty good at racing games. I've gotten the S Class license in Gran Turismo 2 and 3.

Yahtzee, you failed your driving test? Here in Michigan you're not a man unless you can drive a car.
Hey, a fellow Michigander :).

I thought we weren't men here until we ramped a car off the Mackinac Bridge in December...while wearing only our underwear.

Oh, and yeah, I think Yahtzee reviewing this game is about the most only interesting thing related to it. Sure looked dumb from the commercials.
 

ForensicYOYO

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Jun 12, 2010
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Freebird. said:
ForensicYOYO said:
What the hell! Probation? all I did was post the number1 to save my spot so I could come back after I watched it and edit my message. Was that so wrong? O and I got 7 days for it!?! what a load of crap.
OT: I liked your review as usual.
And crying about it will make it better?

Anyway, the episode was pretty good. The Thatcher comment was hilarious.
O ya you're real cool. Well Im sorry if I find the reasons for getting put on probation on this website to be pointless. Like grade school teachers sending you the principles office for not having your shirt tucked in. I was wondering if anyone else on this website felt the same. Not to cry. I sware it was dirt in my eye lol.
 

migo

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Jun 27, 2010
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Don't worry, you were a prick before touching Split/Second, but now you have something to blame it on. Or you can fall back on delayed Australian release times. That said, I think you could have gone more into the slash, it makes me twitch every time I read it.
 

jordanwb

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Apr 19, 2010
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I laughed through the entire thing. Fantastic review Yahtzee. I wonder if he'll review Blur.
 

orangeapples

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Aug 1, 2009
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ForensicYOYO said:
What the hell! Probation? all I did was post the number1 to save my spot so I could come back after I watched it and edit my message. Was that so wrong? O and I got 7 days for it!?! what a load of crap.
OT: I liked your review as usual.
haha. yes. it is very wrong, because its against the rules. posting without watching/reading is a violation, and especially if you only did it to be first.

and yes, I always thought that whole "watch your enemy explode" thing would get distracting especially in a game where at any split/second you yourself can die if you're not paying attention >_>