Zero Punctuation: The Elder Scrolls Online - We Can MMO Too

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Aug 8, 2007
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The Elder Scrolls Online - We Can MMO Too

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews The Elder Scrolls Online.

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Evonisia

Your sinner, in secret
Jun 24, 2013
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Ugh, I got bored of Kung Fu Panda jokes about Mists of Pandaria, oh wait I never found them funny. Granted if anybody has actually played the thing they'd realise that the Pandaren are much more than that and it has a rather grim tone, albeit poorly written.

Still I've never really understood the point of TESO. Yes I do like the idea of being able to see some friends when I'm walking about in Cyrodiil but in truth always having to see them would be a pain in the arse. I guess I'll give this one a miss, and wait until I can return to Cyrodiil for two missions in TES VI: Valenwood or the Khajit place. Oblivion is almost painted in a positive light in this video which is a bit odd, but I guess time and TESO have improved Oblivion in one's graces.
 

ImBigBob

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Dec 24, 2008
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I've never played an MMO before, but even I have to ask why the hell you'd do the whole "destiny" thing when you're not even the only player in the world.
 

Something Amyss

Aswyng and Amyss
Dec 3, 2008
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Oh, the great Stargate Expansion. About a thousand games promised, about zero delivered.

Not just the MMOs (yes, there was more than one), but a first person shooter, a First/Third person action game, and about two dozen adventures.

Damn it, thios video has made me nostalgic for the hope I once had for a decent SG-1 game.

Also, I eagerly await the solitaire MMO. Seems to be where things are going.
 

Something Amyss

Aswyng and Amyss
Dec 3, 2008
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ImBigBob said:
I've never played an MMO before, but even I have to ask why the hell you'd do the whole "destiny" thing when you're not even the only player in the world.
Because new ideas are hard and actually frowned upon in MMO land.
 

WildFire15

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Jun 18, 2008
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Yet more stamping of the 'MMO' badge on random IPs in desperate hope of success and still paling in comparison to everything, City of Heroes especially.
 

rasputin0009

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Feb 12, 2013
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When I think Elder Scrolls multiplayer, I think 2-4 player co-op. You know what would be fun? Exploring this dungeon with a close friend! Not 50 strangers.
 

Gameguy20100

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Sep 6, 2012
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So that's another mmo that isn't as good as World Of Warcraft.

*looks at my copy of Mists Of Pandaria."

You and I are going to be together forever aren't we?
 

PuckFuppet

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Jan 10, 2009
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You're... reviewing an MMO?

Different I guess. It is amusing though that S&B seems to be considered the best possible weapon skill.
 

synobal

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Jun 8, 2011
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Pretty good criticism by yahtzee anyone who wants a longer more in depth review should check out Angry Joe's review of ESO. Needless to say it has a lot of basic problems an MMO shouldn't have today.
 

Roofstone

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May 13, 2010
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This sounds like the most boring accountant simulator ever.

And yes, I too fell for the "run off in a random direction and find adventure" tip. My arse was swiftly handed to me.
Really, nobody wanted this, did they? Why did they?
 

Evonisia

Your sinner, in secret
Jun 24, 2013
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Gameguy20100 said:
So that's another mmo that isn't as good as World Of Warcraft.

*looks at my copy of Mists Of Pandaria."

You and I are going to be together forever aren't we?
One of us! One of us! But World of Warcraft is the MacDonalds of MMOs don't you know? You gotta get out there and play all the greats pasts and present /sarcasm.
 

DarkhoIlow

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Dec 31, 2009
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I know you probably won't be reading this Yahtzee, but Pandaren were in Warcraft 3 (especially Chen Stormstout the main pandaren hero) before Kung Fu Panda was even made so your joke about that part falls rather flat.

Of course there are few that actually know this, but hey..all in good fun right? Right.
 

Grumman

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Sep 11, 2008
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People wanted Skyrim you could play with your friends. They did not want World of Warcraft wearing Skyrim's skin. Zynax or whatever they're called of course wanted World of Warcraft wearing Skyrim's skin, so that they could farm TES's fanbase for $15 per month + $60 + $microtransactions.
 

duchaked

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Dec 25, 2008
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I did want an ability for a co-op buddy in future Fallout or Elder Scroll games (but only so far as to replace your NPC followers)?but an MMO is a bit much lol
doesn't work the same either
 

Chinchy

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Aug 7, 2009
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I actually really like ESO the PvP has a DAOC feel, I haven't seen a MMO that has Semi good controls IE Not tab target garbage, and quests that are fully voiced with interesting backgrounds. I'm not delusional the game has its issues latency comes to mind with the occasional issue with there being to many people in 1 area, but I am having a lot of fun and it only seems to get better as I get higher in level. I'm veteran rank 3 and the mobs and puzzles seems to only get harder and more obscure its getting interesting to see the select few that has what it takes to fight the mobs at the level I'm at, there is no more than 200 of us.

PS The Vet level dungeons are extremely hard and require coordination beyond the scope of a normal human group stuff like that is refreshing to see, unlike WoW which is only getting more "Accessible" with every expansion they come out with.