Zero Punctuation: The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings

CommanderKirov

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Oct 3, 2010
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You know, from all of this there is one thing I'm interested the most.

Does Yahtzee have just a general dislike for PC gaming now days, or does he just do not enjoy the way that PC gamers treat console gamers.
 

Poisoned Al

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Feb 16, 2008
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You can't deny that some games are dumbed down for console gamers, there is a difference between "dumbed down" and "streamlined" that a lot of people don't seem the grasp.
 

ImprovizoR

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Dec 6, 2009
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It's official, Yahtzee sucks at video games. He trashes every video game that he finds to difficult :D
 

Giest4life

The Saucepan Man
Feb 13, 2010
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OMG! Finally, a Yahtzee review filled with pure, delicious hate. Good job on this one--shows that you aren't getting rusty from all the big piles of money you made from Mogworld and the Manabar.
 

Worgen

Follower of the Glorious Sun Butt.
Legacy
Apr 1, 2009
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Whatever, just wash your hands.
Im surprised he didnt figure out how to skip cinematics, I think its like space bar then right click, or just right click twice, its not hard
 

mrhateful

True Gamer
Apr 8, 2010
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The Ultimate 2 said:
This is precisely why I'm a console gamer, console games don't take all day and I don't have to reduce the graphics to 1st grader quality to actually play. Good review Yahtzee you faustian king amongst us mere mortal squishies. Just remember to have fun with Brink He he he.
Nope console games comes pre-factored at lowest grade quality.
 

Shamanic Rhythm

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Dec 6, 2009
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That was a fantastic ZP. I haven't laughed so hard at them for a while.

Of course, ladies and gentlemen, let's all sit back now and watch as people arise from the murky depths of the internet and try to tell Yahtzee why he's wrong about thinking he doesn't enjoy this game.
 

Zhukov

The Laughing Arsehole
Dec 29, 2009
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Y'know, I'd say he made that sound worse than Dragon age 2.

...

Fanatic fan squad, sic 'im!
 

Estelindis

Senior Member
Jan 25, 2008
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I agree about most of the game's weaknesses (particularly the overly difficult prologue with little explanation of the combat system), but the review missed out on pretty much all of the strengths.

I particularly liked the little side quest with the elven girl, by the way. The approach Yahtzee took made it seem like a grand "feck you anyway," but my Geralt didn't take either side and I liked how that worked out - the guilty just seemed to punish themselves. Anyway, I agree that the fight against the chapter 1 boss was tough, but the initial cutscene *is* skippable. Just click RMB. Also, if you don't know how to use a particular feature, you should just look at the manual that comes with the game.

When it comes to fighting groups, by the way, different tactics are needed than just blocking or dodging (as you clearly won't be able to avoid everyone if they're all around you). Make bombs and traps during down-time and use those; use Yrden to trap foes magically if you didn't prepare any traps and Igni to, you know, ignite foes if you didn't prepare bombs; put up Quen to deflect damage (though you should really have that up in all fights but the weakest); use Aard to knock foes down and Axii to bewitch foes to fight on your side.
 

esliang

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Nov 18, 2009
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I'm really not sure how seriously to take this review...Yahtzee's pretty insightful but can this game really be that tedious? I've always kind of wanted to try it.
 

Nimcha

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Dec 6, 2010
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Jandau said:
Worst ZP in a while. Can essentially be summed up as "I think PC gamers suck and I don't posses basic cognitive functions or an atention span longer than 5 seconds". I know ZP isn't supposed to be taken seriously, but this one just rubbed me the wrong way...
Hahaha.

Sorry about that.

Anyway I tried getting into this game myself but the combat just makes it unplayable for me. I don't mind needlessly complicated inventories and obscene amounts of loot and all that stuff the usual 'classic RPG' whiners love. I even kind of liked the setting and the characters and the graphics are absolutely amazing. But the combat, ugh.
 

Danial

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Apr 7, 2010
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God this will end well, will be full of PC nuts getting mad for no reason, Console nuts getting smug for no reason and the rest of humanity wishing people cared about actual important things with the same passion people seem to care about what platform you play use to conduct your hobby.

Fact, Neither PC gaming nor Console is better, if you genuinely believe that you are a better human being than someone who uses a differing system than you... then... wow...


PS funny review.
 

emusega

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Jan 17, 2011
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Yeah controls and difficult learning curve was already a point in the escapist review. So is there anything new to say? Well, don't bother, this game wasn't on my to buy list anyway.
 

WouldYouKindly

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Apr 17, 2011
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PunchedBarbecue said:
Another bad point is the braindead AI and NPCs that stand absolutely motionless when talking (not even the occasional sway, just nothing), like mannequins with mouths
Yeah, that's one thing even skyrim decided to fix, as evidenced by the blacksmith that can't be arsed to stop sharpening his axe when you start talking to him.
 

Ridgemo

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Feb 2, 2010
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CommanderKirov said:
You know, from all of this there is one thing I'm interested the most.

Does Yahtzee have just a general dislike for PC gaming now days, or does he just do not enjoy the way that PC gamers treat console gamers.
I think he just knows that attacking PC gaming is an easy way to get alot of people butthurt.
 

Nimcha

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Dec 6, 2010
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CommanderKirov said:
You know, from all of this there is one thing I'm interested the most.

Does Yahtzee have just a general dislike for PC gaming now days, or does he just do not enjoy the way that PC gamers treat console gamers.
He just hates the self-entitled twats that claim PC gaming is superior. And for good reason. :p
 

Dana22

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Sep 10, 2008
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Liar Liar ! Ive heard maybe 2 or 3 'fucks' in the game ! People generally prefer to 'plough' !