Zero Punctuation: The Witcher

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Ghandi 2

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Dec 5, 2007
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Quistnix said:
Dexter111 said:
Especially stay clear of highly medalled PC-RPG's with complexity and a great interesting story like Baldur's Gate, PS:T, Gothic-Series, Neverwinter Nights 2, Fallout 2, The Witcher
I seem to recall Yathzee saying positive things about Fallout and Torment, so maybe he doesn't hate rpg's in general, just the bad ones.
He just put Planescape as an example in the ME video. He said on his blog that he never got past the first section of that game either. I think he pretty much hates RPGs, he just hates western RPGs a little bit less.

The end bit was not funny at all, I don't know what you guys are on.
 

fugori

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Jan 23, 2008
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laikenf said:
Well said. But you have to understand that a lot of people (me included) go to review sites to get informed on games we consider to purchase, so while it's nice to read reviewers that inject a sense of humor and some sarcasm to their articles (believe me, Yahtzee is not the only one) the bottom line is that WE WANT INFORMATION, unbaised, legit information; and that's something that Mr. Yahtzee should dedicate a little more time to because when you look past the jokes and the sarcasm you're left with a very uncumfortable sounding human being that seems to be bothered by EVERYTHING ANY game throws at him, and very little information (proper info) about the game at hand; that, as I said in a previous post, could be VERY MISLEADING.
Thanks for considering my point.

I suppose my rebuttal would be that the very idea of a review being objective is a flawed one. We shouldn't treat games like we do new species - to be picked apart and examined, then to describe in a dry, soulless, complete manner.

A full-length commercial title would demand several pages of text for a full, fair picture to be obtained - that is, for the reader to completely understand everything the game has to offer without actually playing it himself.

Am I alone in thinking that this lofty goal is not only unreasonable, but disturbing? The established art forms understood a long time ago that description only goes so far. As does entertainment. A personal impression is not a bad way to go about things, and neither is it the only way, but it is A way, and one that brings something to the table that the opposite side of the spectrum desperately lacks and needs.

Think about it this way: if your reaction to this review is "I loved this game and can't believe that Yahtzee is misrepresenting it so!", then for a minute imagine the reasons that Yahtzee has provided. Obviously you would have a rebuttal to each of them, but I think it's absolutely fair to say that many people would not, and would in fact line up much more with Yahtzee's line of thinking than yours or mine. Now imagine that you're that person. Hasn't this been a helpful experience?

Personally, I have yet to play The Witcher, but I think this review has informed me just as competently as to the content of the game as any of the lengthy previews I previously checked out. With both bits of information in hand, I feel like I know what The Witcher is about. I feel intrigued. Not convinced, but I'd certainly like to play the game. I don't agree with Yahtzee all of the time - just like I don't agree with my favorite film reviewer, Roger Ebert (le gasp!) all of the time) - but I do understand his position, and it informs my choice, and entertains at the same time.

Asking game reviewers to be robotic summarization machines is born from a deep misunderstanding of what games are all about, in my opinion. That's all.
 

p0nda

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Aug 25, 2007
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I didn't really get the point of the Painkiller bit, but it brought me to a realization, so I am grateful for its inclusion. The revelation? Yahtzee sounds like Rik Mayall when he was Rick in The Young Ones. No wonder I approve of him so thoroughly.
 

fugori

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Jan 23, 2008
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Rubberband said:
If you don't like Planescape Torment, Fallout, Knights of the Old Republic or FFVII, don't review RPG's unless the sole reason for doing so is comedic value, rather than a real review couched in wonderful, hilarious metaphors.

Edit: To add to the 'relevance' debate too, I have found all of Yahtzee's non-rpg reviews to be 100% bang on and funny. I found Mass Effect and The Witcher to be funny, but they are critical of the quintessential nature of RPG's, which is counter-productive to a review, but not to comedy.
As far as the evidence that exists is concerned, I wouldn't say that he hates all RPGs at all. The vast majority of the individual games he reviews are ones that he hates. It's a part of his... shtick. I mean, how many FPSs has he reviewed negatively? Are we to assume that he just doesn't like FPS's and therefore shouldn't review them?

I agree that the humor works because its founded in truth. Definitely.
 

DarkElfa

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Dec 26, 2007
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He really needs to do a CoD4, just because I want to hear something bad said about it form someone who matters, lol. Great review of the witcher though.
 

defcon 1

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Jan 3, 2008
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The guys negative, but thats what makes him funny. After watching his reviews we go onto real sites and look for legit reviews, unless of course you're that thick. He gives his honest opinion at the conclusion, such as Mass Effect and Mario Galaxy. nuff said about that...
*The following might not apply to all*

I played a bit of the Witcher and I thought it was alright (not amazing). It did exadurate on the Action part of it

If you're really skilled, click twice
YES!!! AWESOME!!!

I didn't find it that hard to play but one thing that just pissed me off is how the inventory screen has no organization. It gets hard to find stuff after awhile. I guess I'd play every other game on my list before playing this. The voice-overs made me almost piss myself.
 

AsbestosKidney

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Dec 5, 2007
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It seems like The Witcher is a game people either love or hate.. I've not seen a whole lot of people take the middle ground. Personally I love it, even if the female models in the game make you question the quality of the developers' sex life if they couldn't complete the production without constantly having a screenful of tits in front of them...

I thought the game was quite intuitive though, but maybe it's because endless chains of mindnumblingly unintuitive RPGs have brainwashed me beyond saving :p

And yeah, I'm also one of those guys who liked Planescape: Torment due to my masochistic desire to be drowned in dialogue

P.S. the Painkiller thing was hilarious
 

viciousmaniac

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Oct 24, 2007
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Rubberband said:
We RPG'ers accept the dodgy interfaces, complexities and insipid dialogue because they are part of the genre.
Since when are these detriments (save for complexities, assuming they aren't of the needless kind) "part of the genre"?

By this logic, I have to accept bishie poofs as "part of the genre" of JRPGs, even though I clearly remember a time when JRPGs were more about better things than adolescent otaku wankfests.

Think about for example Ultima VI, where the Avatar meets the Gargoyle population for the first time.

In that game, your character has terse, blunt encounters with the NPCs whom are obviously upset at your slaughtering of their kin, should you choose to stop to talk to them. You realize on your own that the Gargoyles, however angry and paranoid, are not quite the menace that ponce Lord British made them out to be. It proves exciting from both a story perspective and a gameplay one.

Had that been, say, Mass Effect, every one of the red skinned bastards would've droned on and on and on and on and on and on in psuedo-deep babble in a manner so annoying and condescending, it'd make me want to kill them all over again, ruining the whole point of the sequence. And Lord help me if it were a modern-day JRPG game instead.

In my view, the Yahtzee RPG reviews are just upsetting complacency in a manner the fandom doesn't want to hear.
 

AsbestosKidney

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Dec 5, 2007
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Even though I'm a fan of The Witcher, I agree with Viciousmaniac ... I look through all the dodgy parts of many RPGs because I enjoy the rest of it, and I guess it's because I've grown too used to it all. I don't really like people who claim they're better for enduring uintuitive interfaces and at times dodgy game mechanics. And the standard has definitely fallen... Game developers are too busy jerking off to their own work and they seem to forget the point.

Even if stupid game mechanics are part of a game, the fact is that they shouldn't be. If you can enjoy the game in spite of it, good for you, but you still have to accept why other people don't share your joy. And when I listen to Yahtzee's review here, I can understand where he's coming from even if I don't see things the exact same way... I like controversial opinions no less for being different than my own.

Speaking of storylines, I think that many modern first-person shooters have much tighter storytelling than their contemporary RPG counterparts..
 

cavicchia

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Jan 19, 2008
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Feehl said:
Annom said:
I rather enjoyed the witcher, but I'm sure you'll hear that enough in the 100+ comments this will get.
It's true! And the story is nice.
if you want a good story go read a book, but I'm glad i didnt waste a good 50 bucks on this supposed porno
 

Lampdevil

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Dec 12, 2007
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I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that Yahtzee's reviews aren't just clever collages of clip art. Nor are they strictly reviews. They are little mirrors into the soul of each gamer that watches them. Everyone who gazes upon an episode of Zero Punctuation will see exactly what they want to see!

PC gamer who thinks console gamers are lame? "PRAISE YAHTZEE! HA HA!"
Console gamer who is tired of getting shat on? "HA HA OH YES YOU DID IT, YAHTZEE!"

...and so forth.

I just thought it was funny! I particularly liked the bits about how games seem to think that they can be mature by swearing a lot and showing lots of boobies. (See? We see our own issues!) And now I'm gonna giggle for the rest of the night.
 

shishikyuu

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Jan 1, 2008
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Who needs to actually play a game to review it? just jerk around a bit, cause some lulz and everything is fine.

Well played sir, you did your job well. I'll be sure to check back again after looking for an actual game review.
 

METALDRAG0N

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Dec 29, 2007
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I agree there is a ton of stuff you need to learn in this game, and the load times can be frustrating at times. But it is a damn good RPG game.