Zero Punctuation: The Witcher
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
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Um, no. I take it you paid as much attention as Yahtzee did? The attempted scrastic jab at PC-gamers' overinflated ego in this review is humorously ironic, because the review itself illustrates the reasons for it very well. The Witcher complex? Ludicrous.Aunt Wendy said:
If you enjoyed any CRPG, especialy any of the so-called classics, you'll probably enjoy The Witcher. It's also a lot more streamlined and fast-paced than most of the old timers, while equaly entertaining and with a story and characters easily surpassing anything Bioware and co have been able to show in the past couple of years. Most notably, it has been the only RPG to really give you meaningful choices.
I think the last bit also meant to poke some fun at the system specs for The Witcher. Another sign Yahtzee needs to upgrade methinks, and get rid of that ineffectual black monolyth.
And to boot, it wasn't even funny.
And because a lot of people seem to have gotten it wrong, the last bit did not feature Geralt or anything Witcher related.
"He was being sarcastic. The Witcher is a great example of why sometimes the simple controls and interface used in consoles can be better then a PC."
Actually, I thought The Witcher was geared towards console users to start with, considering the combat system being what it is. I thought no one would intentionally make such a boring and static system for a PC game if they didn't have to. But I guess I was wrong ~~
Also, remember that he discussed the over-simplification of game mechanics, and reffering to the "console tards" when dicussing BioShock. : )
"I seem to recall Yathzee saying positive things about Fallout and Torment, so maybe he doesn't hate rpg's in general, just the bad ones."
No... he hates those too : ) Haven't you checked out "www.fullyramblomatic.com" ?
"Did anyone else point out the irony that he mentions how The Witcher tries to make itself seem mature by having the characters curse up a storm and then after the review dub over a cutscene from Painkiller where that angel guy wants to suck off the boring Painkiller guy?"
In what part of that video was he trying to be serious? : )
Actually, I thought The Witcher was geared towards console users to start with, considering the combat system being what it is. I thought no one would intentionally make such a boring and static system for a PC game if they didn't have to. But I guess I was wrong ~~
Also, remember that he discussed the over-simplification of game mechanics, and reffering to the "console tards" when dicussing BioShock. : )
"I seem to recall Yathzee saying positive things about Fallout and Torment, so maybe he doesn't hate rpg's in general, just the bad ones."
No... he hates those too : ) Haven't you checked out "www.fullyramblomatic.com" ?
"Did anyone else point out the irony that he mentions how The Witcher tries to make itself seem mature by having the characters curse up a storm and then after the review dub over a cutscene from Painkiller where that angel guy wants to suck off the boring Painkiller guy?"
In what part of that video was he trying to be serious? : )
I usually enjoy Yahtzee's "reviews" but found this one disappointing. Kinda pointless reviewing RPG (or in this case "impressions")when the reviewer dislikes the genre in the first place.
For an RPG found the witcher quite good, had some great moments and story. Story, originally, depth is what Yahtzee's been saying there is a lacking in the current market, all of with the witcher has to varying degrees, all without the constant leveling of most RPGs.
Like Jeremy Clarkson's reviews, sometimes rubbishes a good car for a sake for a laugh. Cant please everyone I guess.
However keep up the good work Yahtzee!
For an RPG found the witcher quite good, had some great moments and story. Story, originally, depth is what Yahtzee's been saying there is a lacking in the current market, all of with the witcher has to varying degrees, all without the constant leveling of most RPGs.
Like Jeremy Clarkson's reviews, sometimes rubbishes a good car for a sake for a laugh. Cant please everyone I guess.
However keep up the good work Yahtzee!
Dagnabit what is so hard about this issue?
The PC comment was irony. Layered irony but irony anyway. YES, Yahtzee was jabbing overly complex PC games. But ONLY overly complex ones. Case closed. If you disagree with this then you're either a PC fanatic who can't countenance criticism of any kind of PC game or you're a consoletard obsessed with bashing PCs. Or you're Yahtzee and meant something else.
Why does this always happen every Yahtzee review? Some dill finds one comment yahtzee makes, completely misunderstands it and starts an argument that has just enough posts every page to be noticable and aggravating.
The PC comment was irony. Layered irony but irony anyway. YES, Yahtzee was jabbing overly complex PC games. But ONLY overly complex ones. Case closed. If you disagree with this then you're either a PC fanatic who can't countenance criticism of any kind of PC game or you're a consoletard obsessed with bashing PCs. Or you're Yahtzee and meant something else.
Why does this always happen every Yahtzee review? Some dill finds one comment yahtzee makes, completely misunderstands it and starts an argument that has just enough posts every page to be noticable and aggravating.
You guys realise that he doesn't get to choose what games he reviews, so telling him to stop reviewing RPG's is a bit like telling the McDonalds serving man/boy/thing to stop servering bugers, he sort of has to.
So what if he doesn't like RPG's, that his opinion and i find it funny...and yes i am an RPG fan, i play many but it doesn't stop me enjoying his reviews. Also if you read between the lines he does give some decent info.
Finally has no-one else ever played a game and realised after 5 minutes if they play this any more they would get more enjoyment from beating themselves to death with any solid object that happens to be at hand? I think some of you take these far to literally and seriously, if the words of a generation...chill
peace
So what if he doesn't like RPG's, that his opinion and i find it funny...and yes i am an RPG fan, i play many but it doesn't stop me enjoying his reviews. Also if you read between the lines he does give some decent info.
Finally has no-one else ever played a game and realised after 5 minutes if they play this any more they would get more enjoyment from beating themselves to death with any solid object that happens to be at hand? I think some of you take these far to literally and seriously, if the words of a generation...chill
peace
Thank the gods that this scene didnt come from witcher, otherwise id hear 'outside, twenty minute; pufffish' all the time while playing.
Well, there's a bit of difference between "cursing a lot to be funny" and "cursing a lot because we are very mature and adult." The funny-cursing is, yeah, pretty immature. Twenty minutes! Out front! Puffer fish! Har har har blowjobs. But being purposely immature is good for a few yuks. Meanwhile, actual maturity would dictate that you lay off the dick jokes and the excessive swear words and try to be serious for a few moments while making really important decisions.MinionOfCthulhu said:
Where the boobies fit into this, I'm not sure.
Uhm I am curious about the Witcher, but I am not sure I want to buy a game at full price that is boring. And it might be. As much as I love RPGs I must admit that lately the RPGs are quite disappointing me. I am having MORE FUN with old RPGs like Neverwinter Nights 1 and the Baldur Gates series...
Lately I bought Dangeon Siege 2 (since I like the first one) but it was a great disappont ment.
Same for 2worlds... -_-
TES Oblivion also disappointed me a lot. I really LOVED Morrowind and I had great expectations, which were not met at all (although Oblivion is not a bad game, I liked it but it could have been better)
I am not sure to side or not with Yahtzee about the lenght of text and dialog in RPGs... it depends how interesting it is and how much to the point.
Perhaps I'll wait until they discount it... (and if it's as boring as Yahtzee says it won't take that long either)
In any case the witcher made me curious (especially the complexity of it makes me want to check it out)
Anyway Yahtzee you rule, and say hi to your dad for me LOL
PS: my favourite review is still the one about Clive Barker's Jerico (by Clive Barker). It must be because the game is as lame as an Uwe Boll movie... Although I still love all your reviews
Lately I bought Dangeon Siege 2 (since I like the first one) but it was a great disappont ment.
Same for 2worlds... -_-
TES Oblivion also disappointed me a lot. I really LOVED Morrowind and I had great expectations, which were not met at all (although Oblivion is not a bad game, I liked it but it could have been better)
I am not sure to side or not with Yahtzee about the lenght of text and dialog in RPGs... it depends how interesting it is and how much to the point.
Perhaps I'll wait until they discount it... (and if it's as boring as Yahtzee says it won't take that long either)
In any case the witcher made me curious (especially the complexity of it makes me want to check it out)
Anyway Yahtzee you rule, and say hi to your dad for me LOL
PS: my favourite review is still the one about Clive Barker's Jerico (by Clive Barker). It must be because the game is as lame as an Uwe Boll movie... Although I still love all your reviews
As much as I love Yahtzee as if he was some holy gift from the gaming Gods, and I'll admit he does spear the game for some valid points, namely Geralt's rather incongruous botomless libido, and the over-reliance on fetchy quests; and there are some points I'm surprised he didn't pickup on, like some wildly inconsistant voice acting, but all the same you should follow up on his advice in his Mass Effect review and ignore this review's conclusion completely if you happen to be a fan of RPGs. The fact he says nothing whatsoever about the story, even the impressive Hot-Fuzz-esque ending of the first chapter, should be a dead give away. The man has speared several different games for moving your character up and down a slider between saint and skeletor, and fails to give the game enough of a chance to see how this game deals with that. Admittably, those omissions do come from a genuine flaw in the game, that it has both a lengthy tutorial and a starter chapter of doom before you get into the meat of the story,but I could name plenty of other RPGs where that is the case to some extent. Hell,even fallout had the dull-as-dishwater "kill the Radscorpions" village before you got rolling. This wasn't a bad episode, because it was very amusing and had Yahtzee being Yahtzee. But you are not necessarily Yahtzee.
It genuinely annoyed me when someone mentioned he'd skip this game for Torment and Fallout 2. Guess what,Yahtzee hates Torment too. The whole reason he's great is that he never tries to deliver a detailed, neutral analysis, he lets fly with his opinion and is hilarious doing it. However, that also means you've got to consider if what he says applies to you. The Witcher ain't perfect by a long shot, but if you like RPGs, it's worth it to pick it up.
Having actually played Painkiller,I found the "intro-theatre" very funny, but was vaguely disquieted by the fact this made a LOT more sense than the original cinematic. And was better acted. And it has only just occured to me that, coincidentally, both of these games were Polish made, as your total irrelevancy of the day.
It genuinely annoyed me when someone mentioned he'd skip this game for Torment and Fallout 2. Guess what,Yahtzee hates Torment too. The whole reason he's great is that he never tries to deliver a detailed, neutral analysis, he lets fly with his opinion and is hilarious doing it. However, that also means you've got to consider if what he says applies to you. The Witcher ain't perfect by a long shot, but if you like RPGs, it's worth it to pick it up.
And for guys like this, what Yahtzee desribed was equivalent to Irenicus' Dungeon in BGII. If you're like me youprobably installed Dungeon-Be-Goneto by pass that mind numbing bit of rubbish on your hundredth play-through, but it was worth going through once.
Having actually played Painkiller,I found the "intro-theatre" very funny, but was vaguely disquieted by the fact this made a LOT more sense than the original cinematic. And was better acted. And it has only just occured to me that, coincidentally, both of these games were Polish made, as your total irrelevancy of the day.
Wow, sounds a lot better than Antiques RoadShow: Return of The Witch King's Watch.
Also Yahtzee I kinda got a request, even though I know requests are done by email. I think you should do a review of 'In The Name Of The King.' Yeah, it's a movie, but it features the guys from The Transporter, HellBoy, Power Rangers (no lie), and someone who had the godchild of Joey Lawerence and Shawn Michaels from the WWE. Plus Uwe Boll directed and produced the film, so it's no surprise that 'suck' should be on the title...along with 'balls.'
Also Yahtzee I kinda got a request, even though I know requests are done by email. I think you should do a review of 'In The Name Of The King.' Yeah, it's a movie, but it features the guys from The Transporter, HellBoy, Power Rangers (no lie), and someone who had the godchild of Joey Lawerence and Shawn Michaels from the WWE. Plus Uwe Boll directed and produced the film, so it's no surprise that 'suck' should be on the title...along with 'balls.'
If you're like me, you watch Yahtzee to get a sense of the game's flaws. The serious reviews tend to concentrate on the positive. But he missed many of this game's real flaws.fugori said:
1. Not enough inventory slots for all the crap you can collect.
2. Tiny item icons, making it hard to tell just what all those twigs and berries are.
3. No at-a-glance means of telling what secondary properties those leaves and guts have.
4. Somewhat confusing talent tree (can I take Slashy II without having Slashy I? Looks like I can! I wonder if it actually does anything, though). You can probably pick talents at random and do fine.
5. Not nearly enough character models! Too many people look alike. The models aren't bland, they're just over-repeated. I guess if the models were generic it wouldn't matter as much. No, you have some really interesting character models (tall, shirtless guy with tattoo of naked woman on this chest, or an obese man with a bell around his neck) that are repeated for both scrub NPCs and main characters (look, another fat man). Not good.
6. Staging the first boss fight after a lengthy cut-scene exchange. Come on. Almost everyone will die, usually repeatedly. Don't make the players click through the cut-scenes every darn time!
7. Ill-timed spell ("sign") acquisition. By the time you pick up the other signs, you'll have Aard and Igni developed to the point where spending points on the others doesn't make sense.
8. Bland side-games. Not as bad as Bioshock's single flow-puzzle they use for everything, but boxing and dice kinda suck. Should have just ripped off Puzzle Pirates for good diversionary games. On the plus side, I guess, the NPCs are so retarded at playing dice that you never lack for funds.
9. Clunky fight mechanics. This is the Aurora game engine's fault, but sometimes when you click to do something it doesn't "take." Very annoying.
10. Auto-sheathing of weapons. Almost guarantees you'll be caught flat-footed at the beginning of every encounter. That also causes you to pause during that animation. You can loot items before and after, but not while precious Geralt is adjusting his accoutrements.
11. Infinitely-respawning scrub creatures at higher levels. Gee, I can take out a half dozen Drowners with a single sword swing in Act V, so why torment me with the little buggers? At least let me kill them all so I don't have to deal with them anymore.
12. Little or no foreshadowing that you're about to enter a boss battle. Let alone any idea how difficult or easy it might be. You go from slaughtering hordes of thrall with a sharp stick and disapproving glance to "die if you open that next door without a half-dozen potions streaming through your bloodstream and Oil of Ickiness on your silver sword" without warning.
You get the idea. There are real faults with what is, overall, an excellent game. Those are the kind of things I watch Yahtzee to have illuminated for me. All I got was "oooh, it's so complicated my head hurts" when, in fact, the Witcher is one of the most simple RPG games I've ever seen. Simple enough to be a console game. (heh)
I liked the Irenicus Dungeon, and I have not replayed BG 2 after finishing it. Since I already know how the story evolves it does not excite me anymore. In a game for me the story itself is the most important thing. And like with books after you finished it you are not really compelled to replay immediately. Although I do read the same book more then one time I do it on intervals of several months of years.RabbitDynamite said:
I bought only recently Neverwinter Nights 1 ( I am actually still playing it I am only at Act 3.. I do not have that much time for games), since it was not so expensive and I was not sure to buy NW Nights 2 (which I still haven't) Of course the all'Dangoun & Dragons rules' in NW Nights and BG does not appeal too much to me but they are fun to play for an hour or 2 after a long busy day. What I meant is that I usually have MORE FUN after buying an OLD game with perhaps less atractive graphics than the new ones. I do not say they are 'Fantabulous' and that you can play them 10 times without getting bored... but they at least do their job the first and maybe second time you play them.
The point is that, while the games improve graphically and have maybe physics engines build into it and other gadgets, the FUN they deliver instead of improving, it gets worse.
As a matter of fact no RPG yet can top Morrowind in my list of favorite games. It is the only RPG I played completely through twice, actually.
Perhaps now that we have such great graphics and sound and gadgets, we should get back at writing interesting plots and quests.
I actually watched a few trailers of 'the witcher', being my curiosity stimulated, and some youtube movies of it... it makes me think that the writers of the game also write porn... The dialog was pretty cheese and lame. It was not too funny to me, in any case.
I have not played the game, but from what I have seen it looks like it targets the sexually frustrated population.
All in all it might not be so bad... perhaps one day I'll give it a shot and it might surprise me... or perhaps future RPGs will be so bad that The Witcher will seem like 'the shit' by comparison and not by true quality...
I've played NWN1 and all its expansions. Just started NWN2 co-op with a friend.entropy3ko said:
I liked the Witcher much more than either as a single-player CRPG. After playing the Witcher, NWN looks like a game of Peggle (and WoW, heaven forbid, looks like it should be pink with the words "Hello, Kitty" stenciled on its side). There's a grittiness that goes beyond the sex scenes and "your momma" comments.
Even though it's based off the engine used in NWN1, it takes a lot of iron to run Witcher.
On the contrary - the game is great despite such flaws. That is, if you like story-based games. One could just read the books, I guess, if you can read Polish.Enspik said:
Which brings up a meta-flaw of the game: people who have read the books in their native tongue acting smug on the boards because they know more of the story and background than you, a mere player of the game.* No less annoying than the Tolkein freaks who'd point out NPCs in LOTRO who were dressed in the wrong shade of green. I'm looking forward to WAR, but I just know that the boards will be filled with decades-old Warhammer hobbyists who'll nit-pick the game because on page 32 paragraph 4 of compendium VII it stated the Hammer of Oog is a two-handed weapon and the game represents it as a hand-and-a-half weapon.
* {Edit: not referring to uanime5, who posted while I was writing}
But the Witcher is not "a broken piece of trash" as much as it's imperfect - unless those imperfections ruin your enjoyment of the game (then it's a broken piece of trash). Thankfully, there's a demo that takes you through the prologue and most of Act I. If you don't like it by then, you're not going to like the retail version.