Zero Punctuation: Top 5 Games of 2014

Kitsune Hunter

What a beautiful Duwang!
Dec 18, 2011
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Johnny Novgorod said:
LordTerminal said:
You're biased against Nintendo and you don't like fighting games so why touch something you obviously aren't going to like other than to deliberately piss people off?
He liked Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, Super Paper Mario, EarthBound and Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon. He's just biased against games that are bad and/or boring.
Implying that Smash Bros. 4 was a objectively bad or boring game
 

daxterx2005

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Dec 19, 2009
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Im shocked you didn't give the worst game of the year to Sonic Boom.
Everyone seems to be hating on that game saying its even worse than Sonic 06.
 

WhiteNachos

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Jul 25, 2014
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You know Yahtzee not everyone who likes Smash Brothers likes it for the nostalgia, some people just enjoy the mechanics.

I grew up on the Playstation franchises and I bought Smash Brothers Melee because I heard good things about it and I thoroughly enjoyed it. To give you an idea, I had no idea who Samus was when I first played the game (or Captain Falcon or Ganondorf)
 

Steve the Pocket

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Mar 30, 2009
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Yahtzee rubbing his face on that big-ass cracked me up and TV made my day.

Wolfenstein: The New Order is on sale on Steam right now... if it weren't for the absolutely massive download (50GB?! The entirety of GTA V's game world fit on two DVDs; what could you possibly be keeping in there?) I might consider the $20 price tag to be worth getting it now rather than waiting for the next sale. As it is, I think I'm going to have to wait until I've moved someplace with a much faster Internet connection and upgraded to a 2TB hard drive. Also I still haven't played Return to Castle Wolfenstein, which I probably should get around to doing.
 

Aiddon_v1legacy

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LordTerminal said:
Funny considering that Smash Bros. is neither.
And what's funny is Nintendo clearly had the most interesting software this year between stuff like Mario Kart 8, Hyrule Warriors, Bayonetta 2, Smash Bros., etc while the newfangled "next-gen" consoles with their shiny new IPs floundered for one reason or another. It just goes to show that a lot of the time the young upstarts are just that: upstarts who are second bananas for a reason. Often it's the old masters who bring things forward, proving why they're in charge and the upstarts should stick to serving coffee for awhile.
 

Evonisia

Your sinner, in secret
Jun 24, 2013
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Aiddon said:
LordTerminal said:
Funny considering that Smash Bros. is neither.
And what's funny is Nintendo clearly had the most interesting software this year between stuff like Mario Kart 8, Hyrule Warriors, Bayonetta 2, Smash Bros., etc while the newfangled "next-gen" consoles with their shiny new IPs floundered for one reason or another. It just goes to show that a lot of the time the young upstarts are just that: upstarts who are second bananas for a reason. Often it's the old masters who bring things forward, proving why they're in charge and the upstarts should stick to serving coffee for awhile.
With the exception of Smash, wouldn't this just mean that we should stick to refining old ideas rather than just giving old ideas new names?

Bayonetta 2, Hyrule Warriors and Mario Kart 8 didn't exactly do much new, just tried refining what was already fine. Not exactly the best attitude to have especially in a new console generation.
 

Kenjitsuka

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Sep 10, 2009
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Yeah, Shadows of Moredoor(s) was really great!!!! ;)
The review too, incidentally...

Crappy shoe year too, mate.
Thanks for now 8 years (almost) of a weekly laugh.
Got me through some very, very tough times and I always wanted to tell you that.

For real.
I rewatch episodes every night to relax before bed...

Yes, I'll stop being a bit creepy now.
 

Kenjitsuka

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Aiddon said:
LordTerminal said:
Funny considering that Smash Bros. is neither.
And what's funny is Nintendo clearly had the most interesting software this year between stuff like Mario Kart 8, Hyrule Warriors, Bayonetta 2, Smash Bros., etc while the newfangled "next-gen" consoles with their shiny new IPs floundered for one reason or another. It just goes to show that a lot of the time the young upstarts are just that: upstarts who are second bananas for a reason. Often it's the old masters who bring things forward, proving why they're in charge and the upstarts should stick to serving coffee for awhile.
No offense, but all the interesting stuff above are sequels.
And not just part 2 either; MK 8, Dynasty Warriors 8 or 9, SB part 4 AND 5...

Also not really doing anything too new as far as I can gather from reviews either.
One might even wonder if expansion packs in the old days would not contain the same level of new stuff as these sequels.
 

shtoops

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Sep 1, 2013
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Not at all surprised that Thief got the number worst game spot. Considering how hard he is for the original, and how extremely bitter he was in the review, it makes sense that it's his least favourite.
 

Lightknight

Mugwamp Supreme
Nov 26, 2008
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The way the top and bottom games were portrayed was perhaps the most confusing way Yahtzee has displayed them. I would have preferred to see them all at one time in relation to one another. This video in general was a bit on the confusion side but I suppose he was just fitting it all into one spot.

I've got to watch it a second time to be sure of what I saw or missed.

EDIT: Ok, after watching it a second time I guess that makes sense. You top-hatted beautiful bastard, you. Haha.
 

Alphadude007

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Dec 15, 2013
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If Wolfenstein:TNO wasn't on the Top 5 list, I would have been severely disappointed. Thankfully Yahtzee shares my liking for the game too. It's a game about killing world-ruling Nazis, yet it makes me feel guilty for vaporizing them with a laser gun. The morality of it screwed with my head the entire way though, but that made killing the morally-bankrupt final boss all the more delightful. Having completed it yesterday, it has definitely earned a spot in my top 10 games list.
 

MeisterKleister

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Mar 9, 2012
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I knew Yahtzee liked Wolfenstein:TNO before, but now I really got interested in playing it and it's on Steam sales. ...Unfortunately since I live in Germany it turns out the only version available here is completely butchered and locked to mediocre German voice acting on top.
 

Scorpid

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Jul 24, 2011
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Jman1236 said:
A worst 5 game list without COD? It's a mircle!

Actually yeah 2014 has be a low point for gaming in general with AAA games shooting themselves in the foot time and again:Looks at destiny:
Well I'm not surprised. CoD is just white noise, its the highest mark in the bell curve, if CoD had a name it would be James Smith and he'd live in a large metropolitan city and have 2.5 kids. Its not interesting to anyone worth a damn in Games criticism besides clickbait for the review or perhaps Devs wanting to see the secret of how to get their own steady IV drip of money. BUT its not bad, just very well polished to its slightly blemished dull beige.
 

JUMBO PALACE

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Naming Thief the worst of the year is fine by me. I got it on sale despite what I'd heard and got maybe 3/4 of the way through it before I couldn't take it anymore. I hated that game. I hated how generic and grim it was. I hated how arbitrary some of the time I got caught seemed. I hated the stupid QTEs to open windows and move beams to move from one part of the "open" world to the other. It was boring and I uninstalled it without ever looking back once.
 

Johnny Novgorod

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LordTerminal said:
Johnny Novgorod said:
LordTerminal said:
You're biased against Nintendo and you don't like fighting games so why touch something you obviously aren't going to like other than to deliberately piss people off?
He liked Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, Super Paper Mario, EarthBound and Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon. He's just biased against games that are bad and/or boring.
Funny considering that Smash Bros. is neither.
That is of course your opinion. There are a lot of people who think otherwise. But even if it's neither bad or boring, there's nothing much new to it to call it Best Game of the Year. Probably the reason why he didn't pick Bayonetta 2, a game he ostensibly enjoyed, but felt essentially "more of the same".
Kitsune Hunter said:
Johnny Novgorod said:
LordTerminal said:
You're biased against Nintendo and you don't like fighting games so why touch something you obviously aren't going to like other than to deliberately piss people off?
He liked Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, Super Paper Mario, EarthBound and Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon. He's just biased against games that are bad and/or boring.
Implying that Smash Bros. 4 was a objectively bad or boring game
Bender has laughed so hard at so many things at everyone's convenience, it's become rather meaningless :) Case in point:

 

Aiddon_v1legacy

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Nov 19, 2009
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Evonisia said:
With the exception of Smash, wouldn't this just mean that we should stick to refining old ideas rather than just giving old ideas new names?

Bayonetta 2, Hyrule Warriors and Mario Kart 8 didn't exactly do much new, just tried refining what was already fine. Not exactly the best attitude to have especially in a new console generation.
Well, then be prepared for that attitude to persist for the indefinite future, because there is a 90% chance that it's going to stay that way. This is what happens when designers try to rely on brute force instead of actual designing and lateral thinking. Destiny, Sunset Overdrive, Watch Dogs, The Crew, Drive Club, Knack, basically every attempt to try and sell the new generation has failed for one reason or another. It just goes to show that a new name doesn't mean much when your lack of competency shows through in the final product.

Kenjitsuka said:
No offense, but all the interesting stuff above are sequels.
And not just part 2 either; MK 8, Dynasty Warriors 8 or 9, SB part 4 AND 5...

Also not really doing anything too new as far as I can gather from reviews either.
One might even wonder if expansion packs in the old days would not contain the same level of new stuff as these sequels.
And....? They're sequels, but yet those still held my interest a helluva lot more than all the other stuff coming out. Sure, they stick to the same established skeleton that they always have, but that's like complaining that sharks haven't really evolved in the past million years; no need to improve that much when you hit it out of the park from day one.
 

Xman490

Doctorate in Danger
May 29, 2010
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daxterx2005 said:
Im shocked you didn't give the worst game of the year to Sonic Boom.
Everyone seems to be hating on that game saying its even worse than Sonic 06.
The thing about Sonic and Spider-Man is that they had already been in bad games, but the Thief trilogy kept its acclaim.
Actually, I think people still agree that Sonic 06 is still the worst. Sonic Boom is more bland, but at least it wasn't ruined by load times, sudden deaths, no auto-saves, and an undertone of bestiality.
 

VladG

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Aug 24, 2010
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Jman1236 said:
A worst 5 game list without COD? It's a mircle!

Actually yeah 2014 has be a low point for gaming in general with AAA games shooting themselves in the foot time and again:Looks at destiny:
CoD was actually not shit this year. It could even have been good if they didn't fuck up the matchmaking 2 weeks after launch and the netcode wasn't written by a dyslexic 10 year old.

But 2014 was far from a low point. Sure, AAA sucked, but smaller devs and indies more than made up for it. In fact I can't remember a year with so many awesome releases: Wolfenstein, Shadow of Mordor, Shovel Knight, South Park, Divinity Original Sin, Wasteland 2, Transistor, Titanfall, Hearthstone and probably a few others I'm missing right now.