Zero Punctuation: Top Five Games of 2016

[The Dead Singer]

Well, the main question on the 2017 body count is who do we have left?
Morgan Freeman, Ian McKellen, Michael Gambon, Sean Connery, Martin Sheen, Michael Caine and Donald Sutherland?

So in order of character that are well known from them.
God, Gandalf, Dumbledore, King Arthur, The President of the USA, Charlie Croker and Oddball.

Yeah, we're starting to run thin on famous old actors that are still alive.

2016 killed: David Bowie, Pierre Boulez (Don't think anyone here has heard of him but he was an extremely important conductor and influenced a lot of people like Frank Zappa), Leonard Cohen, Prince, Lemmy Kilmister, etc


So up next we have: Bob Dylan (Gonna be the next one, I'm calling it), Iggy Pop, the remaining Beatles, the remaining Beach Boys, the guys from Black Sabbath, the guys from The Rolling Stones etc

 

[Ambient_Malice]

Homefront actually managed to patch itself out of shitville, its actually enjoyable now even if it doesnt break any new ground.

And I quite liked Quantum Break. Its very much like Alan Wake in that the characters and setup are interesting enough to make you play through the game, plus it has great production values in a more artistic mindset, so not exactly how cool the setpiece is but how gorgeus it looks.

Both games began development in 2011, and like FFXV or Watch_Dogs, they ended up suffering from the inevitable lack of clear design direction that long development tends to bring.

Quantum Break is the love child of Max Payne and Alan Wake. It's a decent time-based shooter. To me, though, the use of 110 minutes of live action footage throughout the story felt more like a spiritual successor to Enter the Matrix than anything particularly good, bad, or innovative. The game's story is outstanding, though. And it's mechanically solid.

Homefront: The Revolution STARTED as a sequel to Homefront but two years into development they decided that they didn't like Homefront very much and instead rebooted the project using an "open world Half-Life" pitch. The end result is a game that was released unfinished, but is a genuinely good game after 8 months of patching. While it has almost peerless atmosphere -- walking around in the rain is the best experience since Perfect Dark's Chicago --, it suffers from a lack of innovation because over the course of 5 years, it lost any clear direction. It doesn't even have clear narrative direction. There are scattered bits and pieces of the original "back when this was actually related to the old Homefront game" narrative in the game. Newspaper clippings that are clearly from the original storyline, for example. A narrative designer was bought onto the project 6 months before release to try and improve things. Results were mixed. The DLC is much more clearheaded, though.

And speaking of 5 year development, Mankind Divided was also in development for five years, and it is genuinely bizarre to look at Homefront and Mankind Divided side by side. They have the same realtime Crysis-derived weapon modding system. They have the same vaulting system. They have the same style of running animation with deliberately heavy footsteps. They even share the same iconography of police oppression right down to 4-rotored scanner drones and passive-aggressive police manhandling people. Games that have long development periods tend to absorb undue outside influence because developers lose faith that their game will be "current" and "relevant" when it releases.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Puts Metroid in Worst instead of Star Fox and puts Color Splash in blandest. More proof that Yahtzee should be blacklisted from Nintendo because he doesn't know what he's talking about.

"I don't agree with this critic, he shouldn't be allowed to criticize"?

I played Color Splash and can tell you he clearly stopped at the goddamn first chapter and didn't even bother to play the whole way through or he'd know the writing from the older games is still in.

He streamed Color Splash some weeks ago on Twitch, he'd already beaten the game.

He clearly wants the company to only make what he wants.

You don't?

 

[maximalist566]

Not sure if I agree with your rule Yahtzee. I mean if that's the case, you can never nominate games in the future like Last of Us 2 because it's like the first game but probably better. While I understand where you're coming from, disqualifying Dark Souls III for that silly reason seems unjustifiable. I'm going to just pretend you listed DS3 as your 5th best game of 2016.

First, Yahtzee didn't like Last of Us. It wasn't even on the list in 2013. Second, Dark Souls 3 has less of an impact than 1/2. It doesn't innovate, the design is pretty lazy and leans dangerously close to fanfiction (and they would have gone there if they included Solaire). Why should From Software be awarded for doing thing they always do but slightly worse this time instead of S&S who copied the mechanics yet had to create the stuff from scratch? S&S is more noteworthy, even if DS3 is technically a better game in vacuum.

 

[ToastyMozart]

God what did they do to Paper Mario?

They applied the "New Super ____" formula that cuts out any story, characters, locational continuity, and discovery/backtracking to a series that is fundamentally reliant on those elements to work.
Because I guess they didn't have a local 5-year-old on hand to tell them that sucking out everything people liked from a series was a terrible fucking idea.

 

[Elvis Starburst]

He streamed Color Splash some weeks ago on Twitch, he'd already beaten the game.
You don't?

And yet he still badmouthed the writing as not being funny simply because of that one line after Bowser kidnaps the princess. No mention of the fight with the steak, no mention of the musical starring Birdo, nothing. There's a difference between hyperbole and flat out lying.

Humor is subjective, not objective. Someone could tell me a really stupid joke I'd find hilarious, or an equally stupid joke I don't find funny. He simply didn't find it funny. You did, he didn't. People experience things in life differently than you

 

[Yuri Gregorian]

The homefront series could have been good if they just took some risks and hired a writer. Maybe make the bad guys likeable?? Figure out a reason for them to invade or made the average soldier a little home sick or something other than "masked arsehole what hates freedom and shoots women" also, they should have had you fighting Americans, hunting down a sympathiser, fighting other liberation groups and a few acts of terrorism......like regular insurgents do.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

He streamed Color Splash some weeks ago on Twitch, he'd already beaten the game.
You don't?

And yet he still badmouthed the writing as not being funny simply because of that one line after Bowser kidnaps the princess. No mention of the fight with the steak, no mention of the musical starring Birdo, nothing.

It's a 5 minute video review, not a checklist of every waking second of gameplay.

There's a difference between hyperbole and flat out lying

What part of he "played the whole game and there's even footage of it if you bother to go to Twitch" is eluding you?

 

[Ambient_Malice]

The homefront series could have been good if they just took some risks and hired a writer.

The first game had "input" from John Milius. But it's important to understand Homefront isn't really a "series". Homefront: TR is like Prey 2017. It uses the name of the old game, but has (intentionally) pretty much nothing to do with it.

Dambuster hired a narrative designer during late development named Stephen Rhodes, best known for a quest writer on The Witcher 3.

Maybe make the bad guys likeable??

They're based on the Combine from Half-Life 2, who were faceless and largely worked behind the scenes as local puppet governments handled things. Most of the game's narrative decisions seem to stem from it wanting to be as much like HL2 as possible.

Figure out a reason for them to invade or made the average soldier a little home sick or something other than "masked arsehole what hates freedom and shoots women"

In Homefront: TR, the KPA/ApeX Corporation peacefully invades because America owes them a shitload of money. They offer to rebuild America and stabilise the government. They instead spend all their time harvesting natural resources to make awesome new "A-Pads" and such, and engaging in "counter terrorism operations" to deal with dissent. This is very similar to how in HL2, the Combine are harvesting natural resources while oppressing the population "for their own good".

also, they should have had you fighting Americans, hunting down a sympathiser, fighting other liberation groups and a few acts of terrorism......like regular insurgents do.

Homefront: TR has side quests where you photograph collaborators to mark them for death, and before long you see collaborators being murdered in the street. The second DLC involves you being sent to kill the hero of the resistance because he seems to have been turned by the KPA.

 

[OuendanCyrus]

I also really enjoyed Doom myself, maybe it would have made my top 3 list if I weren't such a JRPG nut and named Persona 5 my GotY. >.>

 

[gyrobot_v1legacy]

The homefront series could have been good if they just took some risks and hired a writer.

The first game had "input" from John Milius. But it's important to understand Homefront isn't really a "series". Homefront: TR is like Prey 2017. It uses the name of the old game, but has (intentionally) pretty much nothing to do with it.

Dambuster hired a narrative designer during late development named Stephen Rhodes, best known for a quest writer on The Witcher 3.

Maybe make the bad guys likeable??

They're based on the Combine from Half-Life 2, who were faceless and largely worked behind the scenes as local puppet governments handled things. Most of the game's narrative decisions seem to stem from it wanting to be as much like HL2 as possible.

Figure out a reason for them to invade or made the average soldier a little home sick or something other than "masked arsehole what hates freedom and shoots women"

In Homefront: TR, the KPA/ApeX Corporation peacefully invades because America owes them a shitload of money. They offer to rebuild America and stabilise the government. They instead spend all their time harvesting natural resources to make awesome new "A-Pads" and such, and engaging in "counter terrorism operations" to deal with dissent. This is very similar to how in HL2, the Combine are harvesting natural resources while oppressing the population "for their own good".

also, they should have had you fighting Americans, hunting down a sympathiser, fighting other liberation groups and a few acts of terrorism......like regular insurgents do.

Homefront: TR has side quests where you photograph collaborators to mark them for death, and before long you see collaborators being murdered in the street. The second DLC involves you being sent to kill the hero of the resistance because he seems to have been turned by the KPA.

My issue with Homefront The Revolution was it took the only good part about Homefront where you played as a desperate insurgent in a divided resistance against an army with zero qualms on committing an atrocity, the sequel was straight up popcorn movie action flick.

 

[Ambient_Malice]

The homefront series could have been good if they just took some risks and hired a writer.

The first game had "input" from John Milius. But it's important to understand Homefront isn't really a "series". Homefront: TR is like Prey 2017. It uses the name of the old game, but has (intentionally) pretty much nothing to do with it.

Dambuster hired a narrative designer during late development named Stephen Rhodes, best known for a quest writer on The Witcher 3.

Maybe make the bad guys likeable??

They're based on the Combine from Half-Life 2, who were faceless and largely worked behind the scenes as local puppet governments handled things. Most of the game's narrative decisions seem to stem from it wanting to be as much like HL2 as possible.

Figure out a reason for them to invade or made the average soldier a little home sick or something other than "masked arsehole what hates freedom and shoots women"

In Homefront: TR, the KPA/ApeX Corporation peacefully invades because America owes them a shitload of money. They offer to rebuild America and stabilise the government. They instead spend all their time harvesting natural resources to make awesome new "A-Pads" and such, and engaging in "counter terrorism operations" to deal with dissent. This is very similar to how in HL2, the Combine are harvesting natural resources while oppressing the population "for their own good".

also, they should have had you fighting Americans, hunting down a sympathiser, fighting other liberation groups and a few acts of terrorism......like regular insurgents do.

Homefront: TR has side quests where you photograph collaborators to mark them for death, and before long you see collaborators being murdered in the street. The second DLC involves you being sent to kill the hero of the resistance because he seems to have been turned by the KPA.

My issue with Homefront The Revolution was it took the only good part about Homefront where you played as a desperate insurgent in a divided resistance against an army with zero qualms on committing an atrocity, the sequel was straight up popcorn movie action flick.

It's a little more complex than that because the KPA are at least pretending to be a peacekeeping force. It's not like they're running around murdering people for fun. They're primarily reacting to acts of terrorism and things that threaten their interests. It's something of an analogy for American activities in the Middle East where America pretends it is helping countries when it really just wants their resources. You're the terrorists. You're the ones murdering the brave peacekeepers who've come all the way from utopian Korea to "help" the dirty unwashed masses in the violent, poverty-striken shithole that is America. The KPA see the resistance movement as little more than animals because they fight with no honour. You read diary entries from KPA soldiers talking about being ambushed by resistance fighters and losing squad mates and how they want to go back to Korea because America sucks so much.

And it's not like America hasn't committed human rights atrocities in the fight against terror. On top of that, you've got the APEX Corporation being quite typically "corporationish". So be a bit hyperbolic, it goes something like...

Stage 1 - If we ignore the problem, it will go away. We're just here to mine America's national parks, anyway.

Stage 2 - The most wanted terrorist in America, Benjamin Walker, is here. Fortunately, we caught him. This should help.

Stage 3 - If we raid a few houses, rough up a few potential terrorists, the "Free Walker!" problem will go away.

Stage 4 - The problem isn't going away. Need more drones. Drones fix everything.

Stage 5 - Things are getting out of hand. They just murdered the Mayor on live TV. We should just kill them all. Not killing them all was clearly an ineffective strategy, so killing them all will fix everything.

Stage 6 - Well, the "kill them all" plan fell through. We forgot drones can be hacked. Can we possibly blame the whole "use of chemical weapons on civilians" thing on the dead Mayor so we look like the good guys who risked our lives to save America?

 

[Headdrivehardscrew]

My lack of discretionary spending money is also a factor, since I will still get these two good shooters and The Witcher 3 eventually.

You can't go too wrong with Witcher 3, it offers tremendous bang for your buck. The Blood & Wine DLC alone offers more content than a number of contemporary, full-prized games.

If action-y rpg is your thing and you don't mind things getting a bit (very) Japanese, I would have to recommend FFXV. It's very well made and not everybody will choose to wrangle with the controls like they're a rabid bull kicking off a no-limits bath salts party. Yahtzee may be our deity of choice, but even he is not without fault.

 

[Headdrivehardscrew]

Doom? Is this 1993? Also, 2016 was awesome year and Yahtzee clearly didn't play the right games. Especially if Doom is #1 on his list.

The new Doom is really good, though. It offers just the same adrenaline rush like the original did, just in 64-bit and Full HD (where available).

I started out shunning it, because I expected the worst when I heard about the "NO REVIEW COPY" stance of Bethesda. Once I played it, though, I went out and bought it on PS4... and PC... and some more copies for Christmas and select birthdays. I really think it's that good. Excellent shooty shooty pew pew in a sci-fi horror setting where you're the only true gat out of hell. Very immersive, pumping out that adrenaline like it's free lemonade. Oh, and it has the best 3D map system of just about any game I can remember off the top of me silly head. There's no second-guessing here.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

That burn on No Man's Sky at the end...oh man, I haven't laughed that hard at one of his videos in a while.

I always enjoy watching Yahtzee's Top 5 videos. Reminds me of all the things that I've totally forgotten about, and I like the inclusion of Blandest now.

Yeah, No Man's Sky got what it deserved in this one. The top blandest list is an excellent addition. I feel as if its just as damning as Shitiest games but in a different sense. Is forgettable and completely unfulfilling at full price any less bad for consumers than a broken game? I'd say they're even.

 

[Blood Brain Barrier]

Doom? Is this 1993? Also, 2016 was awesome year and Yahtzee clearly didn't play the right games. Especially if Doom is #1 on his list.

The new Doom is really good, though. It offers just the same adrenaline rush like the original did, just in 64-bit and Full HD (where available).

Well, exactly. That's kind of the problem with it. Are we going to be satisfied with games that just do the same thing that they did over 20 years ago?

 

[Ambient_Malice]

Doom? Is this 1993? Also, 2016 was awesome year and Yahtzee clearly didn't play the right games. Especially if Doom is #1 on his list.

The new Doom is really good, though. It offers just the same adrenaline rush like the original did, just in 64-bit and Full HD (where available).

Well, exactly. That's kind of the problem with it. Are we going to be satisfied with games that just do the same thing that they did over 20 years ago?

The new Doom plays nothing like classic Doom. Doom 3 was more faithful to the original Doom formula than Doom 2016. It's more like the Shadow Warrior reboot than any other Doom game.

 

[Blood Brain Barrier]

Doom? Is this 1993? Also, 2016 was awesome year and Yahtzee clearly didn't play the right games. Especially if Doom is #1 on his list.

The new Doom is really good, though. It offers just the same adrenaline rush like the original did, just in 64-bit and Full HD (where available).

Well, exactly. That's kind of the problem with it. Are we going to be satisfied with games that just do the same thing that they did over 20 years ago?

The new Doom plays nothing like classic Doom. Doom 3 was more faithful to the original Doom formula than Doom 2016. It's more like the Shadow Warrior reboot than any other Doom game.

It's still running round shooting things in the face. I thought gaming had moved on from that, but I guess not.

 

[Mangod]

Doom? Is this 1993? Also, 2016 was awesome year and Yahtzee clearly didn't play the right games. Especially if Doom is #1 on his list.

The new Doom is really good, though. It offers just the same adrenaline rush like the original did, just in 64-bit and Full HD (where available).

Well, exactly. That's kind of the problem with it. Are we going to be satisfied with games that just do the same thing that they did over 20 years ago?

The new Doom plays nothing like classic Doom. Doom 3 was more faithful to the original Doom formula than Doom 2016. It's more like the Shadow Warrior reboot than any other Doom game.

It's still running round shooting things in the face. I thought gaming had moved on from that, but I guess not.

... "running around shooting things in the face" is pretty much the FPS genre in a nutshell, isn't it?