Zero Punctuation: Top Five Games of 2016

[sagitel]

so lordterminal still manages to get replies out of you guys? when will you guys learn that he is just a troll? a good one, but a troll nonetheless

 

[Sheo_Dagana]

so lordterminal still manages to get replies out of you guys? when will you guys learn that he is just a troll? a good one, but a troll nonetheless

It's pretty easy to dismiss someone as being a troll, but that's not what's going on here. Have you even read some of his past posts? He loses his cool and explodes when his back is against the wall. Trolls don't do that. Trolls are the ones who try to provoke a reaction, and when they get backed into a corner, they just disappear. So if he is a troll, he's definitely not a good one.

I've been following Yahtzee on the Escapist for a long ass time and I've seen a ton of Nintendrones come through here; they're all exactly the same.

 

[Fox12]

Puts Metroid in Worst instead of Star Fox and puts Color Splash in blandest. More proof that Yahtzee should be blacklisted from Nintendo because he doesn't know what he's talking about.

I played Color Splash and can tell you he clearly stopped at the goddamn first chapter and didn't even bother to play the whole way through or he'd know the writing from the older games is still in.
And that's just one example of what's wrong with his review.

He clearly wants the company to only make what he wants.

Then again he also put Mankind Divided in the bland spot which tells me he should be blacklisted from reviewing in general.

I now officially hate everything on his good list because of this tripe.

His decision made perfect sense to me. If Nintendo doesn't want to be on this list then they should make better games.

 

[immortalfrieza]

Doom? Is this 1993? Also, 2016 was awesome year and Yahtzee clearly didn't play the right games. Especially if Doom is #1 on his list.

I got the same feeling. Doom 3 improved upon every DOOM game that came before it in just about every way it could have and then DOOM comes along and it throws just about all of those improvements out of the window to turn it back into the bland generic shooter that the previous DOOM games were, yet somehow it get praised to high heaven all the time. Doom 1 and 2 were only popular in the first place because they pioneered a lot of those conventions at the time which have now become generic.

There's a big difference between a game being in a genre and making no attempt to even FAKE that it's trying to make all the generic crap it's doing look new. If there's anything in DOOM 2016 that hasn't been done in dozens of shooters already just the past decade it's been eclipsed by the mounds of generic shooter conventions present.

 

[sagitel]

Doom? Is this 1993? Also, 2016 was awesome year and Yahtzee clearly didn't play the right games. Especially if Doom is #1 on his list.

I got the same feeling. Doom 3 improved upon every DOOM game that came before it in just about every way it could have and then DOOM comes along and it throws just about all of those improvements out of the window to turn it back into the bland generic shooter that the previous DOOM games were, yet somehow it get praised to high heaven all the time. Doom 1 and 2 were only popular in the first place because they pioneered a lot of those conventions at the time which have now become generic.

There's a big difference between a game being in a genre and making no attempt to even FAKE that it's trying to make all the generic crap it's doing look new. If there's anything in DOOM 2016 that hasn't been done in dozens of shooters already just the past decade it's been eclipsed by the mounds of generic shooter conventions present.

I disagree about doom 3 improving upon every aspect of the franchise. doom 3 was a fundamentally different game than doom 1&2. it was slower, it had horror elements, etc. so it wasn't just improvement it was taking it in a new direction. so it wasn't liked by a lot of doom fans. because doom in its core wasn't a horror game. doom 1&2 didn't have any horror element. now doom 2016 went back to its root. to the fast paced, gore filled, action. then there is a fact that we haven't had one of these shooters in a quiet long while. serious sam bfe was 5 years ago. and in between we didnt get any game in the same vain as doom, serious sam, quake,... (even then serious same is fundamentally different from doom too). also if we accept that the game is generic and overdone, (i dont believe that. shooters like doom are really rare now) doom did everything it did really good.
did the game have problems? of course. the whole "now the doors close and demons" is stupid. it could do with bigger fights,...
was the game darn good? yes.

 

[Elvis Starburst]

Oh I'm a Nintendrone for seeing Yahtzee for what he really is? Nevermind that Yahtzee has decreed actual good Nintendo products as shit for retarded reasons. That is not what a critic does. That is what an elitist does. And elitists are a cancerous tumor on the industry.

I'd say so, seeing as any time Yahtzee criticizes anything Sony develops, it's all "HAH, serves them right for being shit!" from you, but when Yahtzee rightly criticizes a shit Nintendo game, it's "He should be BANNED from doing his job and he is a hypocrite and he's SCUM!" So... You tell me what's going on

 

[Dalisclock]

Puts Metroid in Worst instead of Star Fox and puts Color Splash in blandest. More proof that Yahtzee should be blacklisted from Nintendo because he doesn't know what he's talking about.

I played Color Splash and can tell you he clearly stopped at the goddamn first chapter and didn't even bother to play the whole way through or he'd know the writing from the older games is still in.
And that's just one example of what's wrong with his review.

He clearly wants the company to only make what he wants.

Then again he also put Mankind Divided in the bland spot which tells me he should be blacklisted from reviewing in general.

I now officially hate everything on his good list because of this tripe.

Oh shit guys, LordTerminal is coming through with "The Truth" again! Stop the fucking presses.

Take it from me folks - don't bother to try and talk sense into them. They are just another Nintendrone that wants to argue until you give up on trying to have a rational discussion with them, or threatens you with physical violence and gets suspended. Whichever comes first.

Oh I'm a Nintendrone for seeing Yahtzee for what he really is? Nevermind that Yahtzee has decreed actual good Nintendo products as shit for retarded reasons. That is not what a critic does. That is what an elitist does. And elitists are a cancerous tumor on the industry.

He doesn't like most nintendo games. He also doesn't like most games. That's his opinion. Feel free not to watch if it bothers you so much.

 

[bjj hero]

Did anyone else notice Yahtzee actually come very close to breaking character and laughing at the "chihuahua/spiral staircase" joke?

He is only human. I spat my tea at the screen when I heard/saw that parting joke.

 

[RisenStorm]

Titanfall 2, COD: IW and Battlefield One were *all* crushingly mediocre, if for wildly varying reasons.

 

[Metalix Knightmare]

Speaking of which i'm really surprised Star Fox Zero was nowhere to be found on this list.

Eh, the only thing Zero did that was really that bad was have a rather polarizing control scheme and the very boring Gyrowing. Besides that, the game was alright. Its average 7/10 score is what it deserves for the most part. It probably fell off Yahtzee's radar, or the games that were on the list were simply worse

Not to mention Yahtzee DOES tend to take it easy on games that try something new or interesting, even if it doesn't turn out right.

 

[Neurotic Void Melody]

I still need to finish Salt and Sanctuary and Furi. Got distracted. Anyway, just came to say I DISAGREE! Not sure why, feeling a little contentious and/or lonely. Haven't even played these entertainments, but i'm almost certain that the fact that you are a human and not me, gives you an 87.92% chance of being unacceptably wrong and i cannot let that stand. Even with the 12.08% chance of total agreement, i've played enough Xcom to not trust those chances. Until we next cross opinion-blades; Good-day to you, fine sir!

 

[TheScorpion]

I haven't yet seen his review of Mirrors Edge Catalyst but I'm kinda shocked that he isn't put that on the worst of list since I thought he hated the first game and I don't think anyone liked Catalyst.

 

[Rangaman]

Because I'm the only one who sees through Sony's facade and can tell that all they've made this console generation is mediocrities. I want Sony to go back to what made them great in the PS2 era, not pander to these easily impressed graphics whores with no taste by doing the laziest of work.

I'll just leave these here:

Besides that, Nintendo has been the worst company for laziness this entire generation. Most of their games have been cut-and-paste sequels (Super Mario 3D World, Mariokart 8, A Link Between Worlds) or remakes/remasters (Majora's Mask 3D, Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire, Twilight Princess HD). The only original game I can think of (off the top of my head) is Splatoon, and even that was pretty lazy. I mean, five maps? Really?

 

[RedDeadFred]

People keep saying it was a really bad year, but I suspect everyone will look back and consider it just as average as the others.

Or maybe that's just me because I've lost a couple hundred hours to Stellaris already and Overwatch and Doom got me to enjoy shooters again for the first time in years. Also, Dark Souls 3 is IMO, the best game in the series, so that also helped the year quite a bit.

Anyway, as for Yahtzee's choices:

Can't argue with Doom.

Furi is on my radar, but it seems a bit overpriced. I'll wait for the summer sale.

Stardew Valley.... I get that it's very good for the people who enjoy these games, but I can't help but think I'd find it incredibly tedious and boring.

Titanfall 2. Well the PC version has aim-assist for controllers, so that kind of murders any interest I'd have in the game. Maybe I'll get it for really cheap at some point and only play the campaign.

Salt and Sanctuary is another game I've been wanting to play. I'll probably pick it up during the Summer Sale. It didn't go quite cheap enough for me to get it.

Edit: Wow.... I think I found the best reason to primarily be a PC gamer, you get to be much farther removed from all this incessant dick measuring about whose console is teh supreme and whose pushing their agendas. Sorry if this is coming across as overly smug, but... really, guys?

 

[Covarr]

Homefront: The Revolution kinda felt to me like the devs were trying their damndest to make a game better than Ride to Hell: Retribution, and... well, they succeeded. It is, indeed, better than one of the worst games so far this decade.

P.S. Thanks

 

[Rangaman]

So LordTerminal got suspended, but called me simpleton for thinking that 3D World and MK8 were cut-and-paste sequels. So yeah, he's definitely a troll.

 

[Programmed_For_Damage]

Glad to see Titanfall 2 on the list. Its campaign was among the best I've played in quite a few years, and just like the original the controls and game mechanics are rock-solid.

 

[paulbnet]

It would be nice to see a reviewer punish Doom for patching in "always on DRM" a month after release. Dicks. It broke the game for me as the DRM servers were as reliable as they always are. This is not an explicitly a criticism of Yahtzee, I have been bitching about this in the forums of every review I come across.

I did love the game whilst I was allowed to play it when I wanted, Now I will never buy a Zenimax published game again, and I hope the go bust from a debilitating bout of cholera.

Carry on.