Zero Punctuation: Transformers: War for Cybertron

[Lucane]

Actually on a side note, since i only had the original toys. Optimus Prime and Megatron, i am not sure if its bad memory or me remember the original toys being made of metal as being superior to the lame plastic versions in later years. Also i remember them being complicated to transform from robot to truck where as the newer versions were more simple. Is this true or just my bad memory?

The Toys varied in material some had metal others just plastic the rest had both.Also the whole G1 series of toys was remodeled from exsisting Japanesse toys from Takara before being rebranded as Transformers by Hasboro (Which means alot less spent on concept design and product testing) Which the second Generation didn't get any shortcuts on and needed full development to produce.

 

[kaosboy13]

I think I have to agree with you here, yahtzee, as this may be the best Transformers game ever made, and that's kinda like saying "the most polished turd". They have never been great. I was hoping more for a Twisted Metal style free-roaming war zone, but instead I get Gears of War in highly indistinguishable outfits in an environment that has the character of said turd. I played it a couple of times and then wondered why I spent 60 bucks on something so forgettable. Throw away the toy line names and it's a mediocre shooter no one would care about. And that has nothing to do with the fact that I never liked FPS games unless they had a sense of humor. Bring on Timesplitters 4 or Duke Nukem Forever and I'll get interested in toting a gun again.

 

[DanHibiki]

Michael Bay should make a movie based on those weird Eastern European Commie cartoons. It will be an awful, awful movie, but people love it when Michael Bay makes shit. So enjoy.

Are you kidding? I'd love to see Micheal Bay's version of Mister Twister or Nu Pagodi.

And, oh man... I can just imagine an adaptation of Kin Dza Dza.

 

[The Seldom Seen Kid]

I wish he'd stop insulting people just because they aren't him.

 

[cp.06]

My avatar and I feel very out of place now XD

Personally, I enjoyed the game but I'm a fanboy. Ah well, hilarious as always.

 

[ZZoMBiE13]

Thank God someone finally said it. I got this game from Gamefly when it was still bright shiny and new and I'd read a half dozen glowing reviews so I was so excited to play it.

Then I played it.

On a good day this is nothing but an average game wrapped in fanservice and nostalgia.

 

[Aisaku]

That first part about how how toys and videogames are money milking machines was brutal... And completely right. I'm sure it was a pretty nice surprise for the accountants in those fields when once the kid demographic grew up they'd still be loyal consumers... even without children of their own. D:

Nice one, Yahtzee.

 

[SAMAS]

Well it was, but nonetheless this was a fairly well-made criticism, unlike some other reviews I could name.

 

[acidk44]

this sucks I can't see it. it wont load. Man i missing the fun you guys (and girls if any) are talking about...
I feel like tossing the computer out the cunting window if only to see it suffer... ad then get arrested for attempted murder to the occasional passer by. :[

 

[estoria-etnia]

I never got Transformers. Maybe this is why I always gave the cartoons funny looks as a child and just stared blankly at the screen while I tried to figure out what was going on. I still don't get it now.

 

[olfelix]

From a person who liked the game, this review was fantastic. Good points and really funny.

 

[Lucane]

Also how come some of the TF's don't seem to have their respective abilities, or had them severely altered? Starscream's famed Null-ray cannon, an all-purpose phlebotinum-powered blaster with stun-locking abilities, becomes a sniper rifle anyone can wield. Sideswipe doesn't have his trademark shoulder cannon or jetpack, choosing instead to spin around like a mad robotic top of death. Worst of all, Soundwave only deploys the cassettes when he's a boss; as a playable character his powers are a shield and a static drone. WTF? They should've made the cassettes his powers: deploy Lazerbeak or Ratbat for mobile recon drones, and Rumble/Frenzy as attack drones.

Seriously, how can you fuck this kind of shit up, Activision?!? To think the developers actually called themselves TF fans.

My guess would be when (If it wasn't an idea from the very start.)they planned out the multiplayer of the game ever character model can't have it's own uniqe special ability or sets of them be animated to do specialized moves like ejecting cassettes from there chest without looking like a Soundwave/Blaster rip-off or endup with parts that don't do anything like Sideswipes shoulder rocket that wouldn't have a purpose in the alternate mode. Here's hoping the sequal (If one is made) adds a little more flare and indivuality to them all for at least the storymode/Co-op multiplayer.

 

[Lt.Snuffles]

"my lawn is corrupted by dandilions"
Love it.
Not even a that good-er line but made me laugh.

 

[savageoblivi0n]

great review as always....however i just feel that this is truly called for at this moment..

Spoiler: they might be giants - the death of optimus prime

R.I.P my 18-wheeled friend...

 

[XenoPenumbra]

Great Review. Enjoy your holiday! I am curious though if you will review the scott pilgrim game, Probably not.

 

[carpathic]

Man, I used to dream about the awesomness of Omega Supreme.

Being a kid was awesome!

 

[SatansBestBuddy]

To be honest, the only Transformers cartoon I thought was at all worthwhile was Beast Wars, and even then it didn't get properly good until they started killing each other while quoting Shakespeare.

 

[OceanRunner]

It was my nostalgia that made enjoy the game as much as I did, but I think that's a good thing. It was awesome to see the faithful but still unique designs of Omega Supreme, Trypticon, Bumblebee etc., and having Peter Cullen and Johnny Yong Bosch among the voice cast was all the better. Oh, and Stan "The Touch" Bush doing a song over the end credits^-^

 

[flaming_squirrel]

Transformers was and always will be loveable shit (excluding the modern films which are just shit). The dialogue was crap, characters were dubious and action was laughable but we all love it for the nostalgia value.

It's not exactly alone in this, all cartoons made in that period of time were equally as bad with perhaps one or two exceptions.


But then on the other hand compared to He-man it's a masterpiece...

 

[Secret world leader (shhh)]

HAHA! absolutely brilliant. as soon as i thought that the magic was lost, you hit back with this hilarious episode.

I think i want to watch it again now.