Zero Punctuation: Turok

SpaceGandhi

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Mar 20, 2008
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I too love the film "Aliens" and would really appriciate it if the industry would stop molesting it. Also, the comment on the blindingly sensitive console controls couldn't be more true.
 

kibayasu

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Jan 3, 2008
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No more health bars is the reason I play Call of Duty 4 on Hardcore only. Seriously, give me a fother mucking health bar back. I haven't played a single recent game (except one made by Valve) lately that includes one.

What the hell started it? Was it Call of Duty 2? Or Halo's regenerating shield (but not health)?
 

NoPantsMan

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Oct 31, 2007
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Not since catching the gay,



have I seen a more extremely funny Yahtzee pic. Today I got multiple.







this is going in the history book. Well done!
 

m_jim

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Jan 14, 2008
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maxg said:
A+ on the intro music. isn't "good console fps" an oxymoron?
I'm with you on the music, but not on the FPS issue. Timesplitters (PS2) is a fantastic console first person shooter. No online play, but tons of characters and weapons to unlock, plus the ability to customize a ridiculous number of options for local multiplayer.
 

rougeknife

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Jan 2, 2008
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Indigo_Dingo said:
If Yahtzee hates games ripping off Alien, how';s he gonna react to Aliens : Colonial Marines? Before you react, consider this - its made by Gearbox, and theyhave fucking studied every nook and cranny of the films.
To be brutally honest, thats fucking stupid. Hes gonna react to Colonial Marines not as a ripoff(bad) but as spin off.
Thats potentially even worse...
 

ZippyDSMlee

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Sep 1, 2007
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Health bars I can live without but I can not live without good solid level design and fun weapons and AI.

Dev do not know WTF they are doing anymore you can crap out generic controls for a a FPS game they require far to many adjustments for individual player needs.

The console makers are too busy making money to give a damn the devs are to bust making money for the publishers and the publishers are too busy playing with themselves to care thus why I no longer buy new games, I can handle shtty games if the controls were ok boycott the industry till it wakes up, buy used!!



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SilentScope00
Oddworld:SW was a nice lil FPS/action game Another solid FPS game is Dark watch,Time Splitters is another quirky fun FPS.
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Joeshie
Bioshock is pretty fcked up IMO meek level and weapon design screwed up simplified equipment and ability melted into plasmids I just hate how BS was done tis a ok game but to watered down IMO, Dark messiah is a much better game in terms of build direction.

I been playing FPSs since DOOM,Duke,Blood,quake the mid to late 90s before corporate got into and ruined rich and fun shooters.

I liked Halo 1 it was nice but H2 and 3 are just rushed and under done,is as rushed no normal player mode, no picking up sht to distract the AI with the AI itself is a joke, if the AI was not antaqauited I could have handed the PC port being broken...
 

sshplur

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Nov 22, 2007
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Sgurd said:
Australia doesn't have No More Heroes yet?

That's a goddamn shame. I've anxiously been looking forward to a ZP review of it for almost 2 months now. Screw you Rising Star.
It's normal to get such late releases and, surprisingly, you can get used to it. The longest wait I've seen is 8 months (Valkrie Profile 2) and the shortest is 5 days (Heavenly Sword). Some games we don't get at all.

I heard MGS4 is supposed to be world wide simultaneous release. Doubt it, but good on them for trying.
 

Indrid Cold

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Jan 30, 2008
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Have to agree with this one. Turok was fairly bad. Not Turning Point bad, but mediocre enough not to waste more than an hour playing it. The controls are unresponsive, the screen blur when you take damage is overdone, the guns are weak almost to the point of uselessness and being knocked flat every time a dinosaur hits you gets very annoying very quickly. It also seems to take itself far too seriously for what it is. There are good console FPS games out there (Call of Duty 4 - which I didn't expect to like - Bioshock, even The Darkness was interesting, if flawed). This just isn't one of them.
 

dave.k

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Mar 7, 2008
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nightfish said:
One has to wonder though what the point of being a games reviewer is in Australia. I mean not only do you have the release date problems but a ridiculously strict censor board.
The basic problem is, that games in Australia _must_ be classified before they can be sold, and there is no "R" classification for games. The end result is that any game that are adult only, are refused classification and are effectively banned.

There is hope though. The new government is looking into establishing the "R" rating for games. Actually, the only person that opposes it is some conservative politician from South Australia. Let's hope he fails.
 

Arcticflame

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Nov 7, 2006
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David Cat said:
Firstly, you should stop taking the piss out of ctrl+alt+del also. If it is SO shit then why is it so popular?
Britney Spears is also popular.

Game, set and match.
 

ZippyDSMlee

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Sep 1, 2007
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While I am it I hate the new generic hollwoodized for the masses story, I fcking hate it when they must alter fiction to make it easier for the public to drink.
They are destroying the heart of gaming while forgetting not every player plays the same Gdamn way.

There is no excuse for Turok to have a space marine theme,Q4 and Halo I can give them some slack on.(no slack for Q4s level and weapon design and H2/H3s lack of polish tho)

And another thing tis call a Button toggle where you hold one button down and the others change momentarily,I would rather have the choice to carry all the weapons and flip through them as I see fit than sue a quick menu or a carry limitation...its called options people give them to gamers they will enjoy the games a bit more.
 

infinitysend

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Mar 20, 2008
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Y'know Yahtzee, this will prove if you're a genius or not.

The most ironic thing about your review is that you blatantly depicted Metroid Prime as how FPS controls on a console can be done right. Metroid Prime was made by Retro Studios, which was formed by former members of Iguana Entertainment, which in turn created the Turok games on the Nintendo64. So we have come full circle now, haven't we?

...or were you just using Prime as a shining example and had no idea about that... o_O
 

Stratigo

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Mar 19, 2008
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Quite honestly complaining that all FPS are the same is a bit faulty. An FPS is an FPS. They are all essentially going to be shooting things with guns. That is what an FPS is. You don't get fancy platforming or anything else. You're shooting things with guns. Now a few games (Like Half Life 2) throw in some awesome physics fun.

I usually have very little patience for an FPS that handles badly, mostly because the controls of an FPS should not ever change. If an FPS works really well in a certain way, why bloody change it? Its not like you're going to stop running around and shooting people. that is what an FPS is. Keep the controls simple and easy.

Now as for story line, there does tend to be a trend of gruff buff heroes in space fighting alien hordes. Of course space presents unlimited story oppurtunity because it is undefined. We don't know whats out there. It not like the endless march of WW2 shooters. We all know what happenned in WW2.


Oh and kuudos for the picture of an Ultramarine. Best chapter (Because i play them)
 

flak_towers

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Nov 8, 2007
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I am not prepared to read all 137 comments before this one to see if anyone has made the same point I'm about to make and I realise that makes me lazy but I just can't help but feel that The Escapist could quite easily fork out for a UK or US version of the big 3 consoles and order the games in the mail from Play or amazon or whatever. Perhaps those nice people at Valve could Fed-Ex them over so Yahtze can review all those lovely games that people are howling for him to review without suffering so much from the fact that Australian time is half a year behind everyone else. Christmas in summer... the nerve of that country.
 

ZippyDSMlee

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Sep 1, 2007
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Stratigo said:
Quite honestly complaining that all FPS are the same is a bit faulty. An FPS is an FPS. They are all essentially going to be shooting things with guns. That is what an FPS is. You don't get fancy platforming or anything else. You're shooting things with guns. Now a few games (Like Half Life 2) throw in some awesome physics fun.

I usually have very little patience for an FPS that handles badly, mostly because the controls of an FPS should not ever change. If an FPS works really well in a certain way, why bloody change it? Its not like you're going to stop running around and shooting people. that is what an FPS is. Keep the controls simple and easy.

Now as for story line, there does tend to be a trend of gruff buff heroes in space fighting alien hordes. Of course space presents unlimited story oppurtunity because it is undefined. We don't know whats out there. It not like the endless march of WW2 shooters. We all know what happenned in WW2.


Oh and kuudos for the picture of an Ultramarine. Best chapter (Because i play them)
This is true, but it dose get tedious when you have 5 versions of the same setting with the main theme is large human males and bad dialog fighting in cramped levels with overtly realistic bland weapons... it gets worse when the controls are all fcked up.


infinitysend said:
Y'know Yahtzee, this will prove if you're a genius or not.

The most ironic thing about your review is that you blatantly depicted Metroid Prime as how FPS controls on a console can be done right. Metroid Prime was made by Retro Studios, which was formed by former members of Iguana Entertainment, which in turn created the Turok games on the Nintendo64. So we have come full circle now, haven't we?

...or were you just using Prime as a shining example and had no idea about that... o_O
I do like MP but I dislike the lack of control options no left/right swaping no button mapping and no free aim mode.

I will admit put MP1 and 2 on a disc for the WII and give it full FPS aiming and I am sold for 79.99.

Turok for me is a great series,1is simple but solid 2 is near perfect 3 while buggy and and unpolished was fun and interesting, EVO was just rushed and unpolished,"Turok" is just a safe modern cash in.
 

Deatre

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Dec 5, 2007
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ctrees said:
But wait... Gordon Freeman wore powered armor...

*GASP*
Yeah, but that wasn't the size of four brick shithouses stacked together. Harr.

Arcticflame said:
Britney Spears is also popular.

Game, set and match.
I see your Britney Spears and raise you a Paris Hilton. (I suppose it's popular... or maybe love to hate?)

infinitysend said:
Metroid Prime was made by Retro Studios, which was formed by former members of Iguana Entertainment, which in turn created the Turok games on the Nintendo64. So we have come full circle now, haven't we?
Then again, wasn't that Turok actually good? (Compared to the multiple crappy sequals)
 

MikePhilbin

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Mar 15, 2008
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a-----hahahahahahahahahahaha!
it's about time, Yahtzee - f***ing FPS game makers are asleep
http://mikephilbin.blogspot.com/2006/05/fps-game-makers-are-asleep.html

:)