Zero Punctuation: Two Worlds II


New member
Jul 22, 2010
Aeshi said:
Was kinda hoping it'd be Bulletstorm but oh well.

The Doodle-God style magic thing sounds interesting but doesn't Magicka (Magika?) do the exact same thing?

Calibanbutcher said:
WTF, Yatzhee reads articles?
My world is shaking.
Where does he mention/reference Cracked?
It the end credits.


New member
Oct 21, 2010
Bulletstorm is horrible!

Shooting zombies as space marine Jack Black in post-apocalyptic wasteland while flock of scores and achievements cover your screen is not that original nor oldschool!

Something Amyss

Aswyng and Amyss
Dec 3, 2008
I was hoping they'd call it Two Worlds: The 40th Day.

It worked for Army of Two Two.

Did they seriously not cover the "Two Worlds" bit? I've never played the full games. The first because the demo was bad and it was poorly reviewed. The second because I was pretty sure if it had any quality to it they probably wouldn't have attached the "Two Worlds" franchise to it.

Not that it's inherrently bad, but there's a purpose to sequels, and since it's only vaguely related to the first at best, the other option is they wanted to create association by franchise. And while you can get some good franchises that way (GTA, for example), when the first game is bad it makes the title a deterrent. you probably wouldn't name your innovative new retelling of Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" "Springtime for Hitler 2."

Also, one of the things that amuses me most about the "sidetracked by sidequests" deal is how readily your character will go along with them in most games. It's one thing if they're tangentially related, but once you're doing a favour for the local peasant whose friend asked you to help so she would offer you the key you need to use to get into the dungeon where the mayor's son is locked up, so you can rescue the son and get the mayor to give you the golden flute of okanon, which will free the fairy spirit who will tell you how to find her long lost lover, the only person who has ever successfully cast the grand spell "Deus Ex Machina" so you can bypass the defenses of the enchanted castle, rescue the princess, so her father will offer to help you in battle against the great king of Slightlyevilopolis, it starts to get a little silly.


New member
May 9, 2009
o_O I was reading Cracked just before I watched this...I am significantly more freaked out now.


New member
Dec 1, 2009
well Fable isn't cynical and gritty.... gotta give it that at least

anyways, i was looking forward to the bulletstorm review, not some game that was shit before and is just as shit now.

Kebabas McSauce

New member
Mar 23, 2010
I'm surprised he didn't mention the awful crafting system (especially where you break down equipment). One of the reason I quit playing the game after roughly 10 hours in is because my fingers hurt like FUCK from doing "right click for drop down menu , left click to select break down equipment , left click again to confirm selection" EVERY FUCKING TIME for every item. And you'd usually get about 100 useless pieces of weapons and armor after a few fights which you kinda need to break down to upgrade your armor/weapons. Boy is that fun without any shortcut to do it in one click.
He could've made a lot of fun of the so called "sneaking" mechanic in the game which was so pathetic it made me laugh. It only works on enemies which are facing away from you , so you'll occasionally see enemies staring into a wall with a sign "please stab me in the back" over them.

Also you get one shotted most of the time if you don't hold down block during the whole fight.

Still , the game is pretty fun If you can get over the awful inventory system...


New member
Dec 30, 2010
Why all the surprise that he reads Cracked? I'm pretty sure it's not the first reference he's made, and certainly no less likely than, say, TVTropes. Humourists need reference material...

Bors Mistral

New member
Mar 27, 2009
Nice, as always, but...

Yahtzee, if your laptop is made from a rotting horse head, maybe you should get one (laptop, not rotting horse head) that's actually capable of playing games... or just go desktop.

Canadamus Prime

Robot in Disguise
Jun 17, 2009
All that talk about dark fantasy made me think of Quest for Glory which I've recently dug up out of the ancient annals of gaming. Now there was a lighthearted fantasy adventure/RPG type game. Oh Sierra where art thou?


Zombie Specialist
Apr 16, 2009
Srdjan Tanaskovic said:
............................a laptop?


you play a demanding game on a laptop?


Also go play Trine. The wizard seems to be a happy dude in that game
My laptop can handle a lot of games on high settings.

Then again it is sporting an i7 and other powerful features (including a 100% vestigial dedicated sound card with 1gig dedicated to sound) but still, don't underestimate laptops.

I'm in college, so it's great to have something I can bring to class yet plug in at my dorm and use like a desktop with an external mouse and keyboard.

I love my 18 inch monster laptop.

RJ Dalton

New member
Aug 13, 2009
I wrote a story with a happy wizard in it. In fact, very few of the wizards in my stories are angsty. Usually, they're just dicks.