Zero Punctuation: Velvet Assassin

Sayvara

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Oct 11, 2007
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"Introducing Mr Juggular to Lady Fossington-Switchblade", "Failing to make friends"... subtle, and funny euphemisms for snuffing people. :)

/S
 

Gerazzi

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Feb 18, 2009
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Jesus, it's annoying to have the first five posts be completely idiotic.


but yeah, didn't want the game, wouldn't buy the game, and yes...
COMMUNITY SERVICE FOR WAR CRIMES.
I wanted you to review something else but I can't think of any actually good games out now...
On a side note, I can't think of any really bad ones either...
Just wait, Drake's Fortune will come back and so will Bioshock and you can go cuddle the FPS genre again like a jaded war veteran returning to his family.
 

bodyklok

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Feb 17, 2008
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Oh man that line at the end was hilarous, it's nice to see a reture to form and some real origionality again.
 

calelogan

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Jun 15, 2008
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Cheesebob said:
calelogan said:
Thewarlordc said:
Mr. Yahtzee,are you sure it's Hitman Blood Money and it's not Hitman Contracts the game you compared this one to? I'm no big Hitman fan, but i can guarantee you that Hitman Contracts' story is told from a perspective similar to Velvet Assassin and not Blood Money... my 2 cents.
I think Yahtzee actually wanted to reference to "Hitman: Contracts" instead of "Blood Money" when he mentioned the whole "mission flashbacks while lying on the death bed" scenario. I know that Hitman is lying inside a casket in Blood Money, but I don't see the game as a series of flashbacks.
Actually Blood Money was about Flashbacks, thats why the dates were getting more recent, the man in the wheelchair was discussing 47's assinations with that guy from the press thus Flashbacks
Makes sense. I take that back, though I still think "Contracts"'s storyline structure is more similar to "Velvet Assassin" rather than "Blood Money"
 

Wyatt

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Feb 14, 2008
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first review in months that made me laugh, i might have to buy this game if only for that reason.
 

Vlane

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Sep 14, 2008
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As somebody from austria I have to say that the last joke was almost too offensive. Awesome but still....
 

Joey245

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Jan 29, 2009
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Odd that Yahtzee is reviewing so many WW2 games right around the time I'm studying for my WW2 test in World History at school. That last line was pretty funny, though.
 

whaleswiththumbs

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Feb 13, 2009
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lmao girtty enough to park your driveway on.

Hey yahtzee i think the message is that nazi were evil, but the soldiers didn't want to die. Which doesn't explain kamikazes, ltet me change it then. i think the message is that nazi were evil, but the soldiers didn't want to die, except for the Japanese.

EDIT, ythe hel1 does every other person get banned for watching the video then wuickly replying, if it's because of the speed of it, maybe you should bann all of them who post early, instead of which ever one farts and looks at you funny(hope all of you got that)
 

L4Y Duke

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Nov 24, 2007
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Sounds like the Morphine feature is yet another in a long line of "WTF?" gameplay mechanics.
 

GoblinOnFire

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Jul 28, 2008
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Old Ben has returned! This smells of victory, I tell ya!
Funny and cruel AND politically uncorrect at the same time. What's not to love?

I promised myself I wouldn't post here, because of the 140 posts before me. I didn't read them, I just figured they'd all be "w00t first!" "w00t second!" "w00t 140th!" ya know

Then I convinced myself that they'd all be banned and posted anyway.