Zero Punctuation: Wet

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teknoarcanist

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Jun 9, 2008
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The premise of this game--and others like it--doesn't even make sense at a basic level.

You're mimicking...what exactly? That era when videogames were played on drive-through screens, and featured sound skips, missing reels, and advertisements for 60's foodstuffs?

I wonder why I don't remember that...

Clearly one of us is an idiot.
 

TheGreenGoblin

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Jun 4, 2009
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Armored Prayer said:
"I do not advertise googling 'Wet Box' with the safe search off."

Note taken, I cant imagine the results.
The first hit is for www.uline.com, a shipping supply company. You'd have to look to like #3 or #4 to find the porn site, but who really does that these days?

Anyway, Yahtzee isn't wrong about Wet but I think he's forgetting that sometimes we play a video game for a psychadelic show. I liked the cinematic effects, possibly because I play games so infrequently that when I saw this I went "ooooh, nice."

I know Yahtzee makes his fortune being wordy, but my review of Wet is five words: "Quentin Tarrantino made a game." My friend beat me with his four-word review, "Max Payne with boobs." If any of those reviews sound like a bowl of Awesome Flakes for breakfast, go get Wet.

Granted, I didn't play Wet, I felt the demo explained everything in the game quite right and didn't need the full version. Rent it, don't buy it. It's one of those games that makes you think you need to play it when all you really want is naked pictures of Rubi. (ditto Heavenly Sword...Tomb Raider...God of War...umm...yeah that's right. Bikini Cratos. Unlock THAT.)
 

Naheal

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Sep 6, 2009
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Very nice review. Also, since you have a tendency to NOT review a game when it's requested, would you mind reviewing Halo ODST? I certainly haven't heard enough about that game yet.
 

The Noble Shade

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Dec 24, 2008
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Does this mean that the premise for "cinematic" games should just die?
When Susan Arendt reviewed this game, she said it felt unfinished, and would've been made loads better with about 6 months more development.

It seems inevitable that every game these days that has impressive visuals has to be marred by crappy gameplay elements. I won't buy Wet (I actually don't buy many games new these days anyway). Unless something godly comes out within the next 20 days, I'll be patient for Modern Warfare 2.
 

RTR

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Mar 22, 2008
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Great Review! Best one in a while, I might add. The story about Pillock and his boss was really amusing.
Also, I sent Yahtzee a message asking for his thoughts on cinemtaic gaming. I guess I have my answer. But still, I want to see his opinion about Uncharted 2, because its countless perfect reviews about how it's like an interactive movie made me go "Whuh?"
 

CastIronWin

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Sep 15, 2009
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i remember my brother playing the demo and praising it. then he bought the game and was all 'omg its fantastic fun' and when i saw it i just looked at him with immense disappointment and called him a twat.

the developers needed to spend at least another 6 months on this thing - 5 of which should have been dedicated to refining the rubi character into less of a generic, whiskey swilling, revolver weilding, sword swinging *****!
 

Talo_AML

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Jun 15, 2009
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I wonder how long Yahtzee going to be able to put off reviewing ODST...We'll wait and see I guess.
 

dudeman0001

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Jul 8, 2008
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That was a great review! I loved when he was ranting about rubi and that one line.
"When she's standing in an elevator with an expression of angry boredom neatly mirroring my own"
 

DanDeFool

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Aug 19, 2009
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Perhaps a bit off-topic, wasn't this game supposed to have PC release? Granted, I'm not as excited about that prospect after watching this review, but I'm pretty sure I saw it being advertised on Steam a couple months ago.
 

Boaal

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Dec 30, 2008
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Yeah I pretty much wrote this game off based on the title alone to be honest. It's clear it's intentions where:
"I'm going to aim a game at guys who are too busy being sad, and jerking it to the title and the very obvious innuendo, very poorly hidden behind a random turn of phrase which is convenient. This will give us enough excuse to say that we're legit and the games dosn't feature around arse and tit shots."

I have far too much self respect to give something named 'Wet' a second glance.
 

MuD3

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Jun 22, 2009
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birdman_91 said:
sweetness!!!!!!!
i was wondering if i should buy this or not
lol always come to Yahtzee to save you money on video games
well yes... i do suppose you would save money buying games based on his opinion, since he hates 99% percent of all games.
 

MuD3

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Jun 22, 2009
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crotalidian said:
"Inner ear disabling dove shitting medical condition" << lmao
hey, wobblydoveshititis is a serious condition that many of us face. it, good sir, is no laughing matter.
 

xmido

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Sep 12, 2008
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i played the demo, the game is fun if u like hack n slash games, but of course its not worth a full price imo
 

epsilon246

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Sep 18, 2009
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flaming_squirrel said:
I chose to ignore the advice given at the end and was unpleasantly surprised by what appeared to be bestiality, on the plus side though I'd already guessed this game would be wank.
"appeared" i'm a little worried to what it actually was if it wasn't bestiality.