Discuss and Rate the Last Film You Watched

[XsjadoBlayde]

Keanu
Not enough Keanu.

Which may seem an insignificant niggle.

But I assure you.

I promised a niece a film with kittens.

And while this kitten was very cute.

They appear only at the beginning and end of this film.

The rest is a Jordan and Peele sketch.

Who are both lovely, watchable humans.

But they are not an adorable kittens.

Nor are they the title of the damn film.

Plz more Keanu.

Any new Keanu scene gets another star added to the score.

It's presently: 2/I'll take this as far as you're willing to go.

 

[Bartholen]

See I didnt know the historical lore going in. It was just a Viking movie to me. And this movie proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that no matter how muscles, harry and manly man you are, howling like a wolf will always, ALWAYS, look ridiculous and be a comedic bit.
Seriously the audience was laughing their asses off, and I dont think it was meant to be funny.

I didn't think the howling bit was necessarily funny, but neither did it register as entirely serious either. I think it was a part of the movie conveying how mad, alien and strange the world of the film was. Imitating ferocious animals was clearly a part of the berserk rite where they worked themselves into a frenzy before a battle, so it made sense that the main character would do it when enacting his grand revenge.

 

[Agema]

The Northman, 8/10

Robert Eggers' hotly anticipated Viking epic is about as good as you'd have expected.

Well, I watched the trailer.

Not sure I like the look of the combat: seems very Hollywoodised. That strike he does at the end of the trailer is awful. Why on earth would you move your sword all the way behind you like that to make a strike when your opponent can just step forward and stab you in the face? Is a guy shot in the shoulder by an arrow really going to draw a sword with that arm so easily? Those wooden palisades around the settlements look strangely shit (the Norse were surely much better at construction). Where is all the goddamn farmland? Why build your fortified village in the the middle of nowhere?

Avoids the worst tropes of everyone (even the nobles) looking dirty. Gear looks pretty decent: mail shirts, swords, nasal and spectacle helmets not bad for about 9th-10th C. or so. There's some guy in lamellar armour: even that looks reasonably historically accurate, and it could plausibly have got to Scandinavia from the Byzantine Empire.

 

[Bartholen]

Well, I watched the trailer.

Not sure I like the look of the combat: seems very Hollywoodised. That strike he does at the end of the trailer is awful. Why on earth would you move your sword all the way behind you like that to make a strike when your opponent can just step forward and stab you in the face? Is a guy shot in the shoulder by an arrow really going to draw a sword with that arm so easily? Those wooden palisades around the settlements look strangely shit (the Norse were surely much better at construction). Where is all the goddamn farmland? Why build your fortified village in the the middle of nowhere?

Avoids the worst tropes of everyone (even the nobles) looking dirty. Gear looks pretty decent: mail shirts, swords, nasal and spectacle helmets not bad for about 9th-10th C. or so. There's some guy in lamellar armour: even that looks reasonably historically accurate, and it could plausibly have got to Scandinavia from the Byzantine Empire.

Almost all of this can be chalked up to the fact that it's not just some Viking story, it's a loose adaptation of the legend of Amleth, which was the inspiration for Hamlet (btw real original Shakespeare, not even changing a letter in the name but moving it). It's not supposed to be realistic, it's going for a heightened, mythological atmosphere. There's a lot of mysticism and fantasy in the film, hence the artistic license with historical accuracy and realism. It's similar in tone and style to the 2015 adaptation of Macbeth with Michael Fassbender, which I also love.

Spoiler: A list of stuff that happens in the film, read at your own discretion

- a talking severed head
- a sword that can only be drawn in the dark of night
- a witch with no eyes delivering a prophecy to the protagonist
- a fight against a revenant
- two men fighting on the side of a volcano where the fumes alone would make them choke and splutter within seconds
- crows pecking apart the restraints of a captured man

And that's just some of it. Some of the aforementioned is "did it really happen", while some of it is very literal.

 

[BrawlMan]

I'm sure some poor alt-right LARPer is going to see as aspirational, and it took me out of the film for a bit.

Norse code: are white supremacists reading too much into The Northman?

Robert Eggers’ Viking blockbuster has already been hailed by white nationalists keen to exploit European mythology. Can Hollywood tell historical tales without unwittingly appealing to toxic ideologies?

www.theguardian.com

 

[Casual Shinji]

Godzilla vs. Kong

It felt like a past-his-prime Roland Emmerich movie, which yes, makes it worse than Godzilla '98. I mean, nothing about it was mind-bogglingly awful, and it didn't have the cringe humor of Godzilla '98, but the whole viewing was the most flat and saltless pile of nothing I've seen in years.

I also saw Apollo 10 1/2, the new Richard Linklatter movie which sports the same artsyle as A Scanner Darkly, but is certainly a lot less gloomy. I was a expecting a lot more plot based on the trailer, but it's really just a stroll through Linklatter's youth, making it feel more like a documentary. The artstyle and the editing really carries this movie. It has a tempo that just keeps you invested as it talks about all this old kids stuff, and I'm just old enough (and was also part of a large family) to semi feel the nostalgia.

 

[SilentPony]

I didn't think the howling bit was necessarily funny, but neither did it register as entirely serious either. I think it was a part of the movie conveying how mad, alien and strange the world of the film was. Imitating ferocious animals was clearly a part of the berserk rite where they worked themselves into a frenzy before a battle, so it made sense that the main character would do it when enacting his grand revenge.

I mean there were so many odd comedic bits. Like when the King is like "Son do as I do" and gets on all fours and starts barking and howling, and he and his son have to fart and burp to prove they're not werewolves.
Or the attack on the town when all the wolf dudes are barking and howling and slitting throats and raping women, and then smash cut to them all just sitting around, covered in sweat and blood, just looking exhausted like the Avengers eating shawarma.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

The Green Knight

Between this and The Northman I'm on a roll for macabre adaptations of cryptic medieval sagas with a flair for awesome photography and creative visual storytelling. Can't recommend either enough. Green Knight leaning more heavily on fantasy (albeit very matter of fact) while The Northman bakes the fantastic elements into literal diegetic visions fueled by superstition and bizarre rituals. Ordinarily I hate using visions as shorthands for where the character is at the moment, emotionally or psychologically (ie. The Revenant) because they feel so trite and phony. But they totally work here as the story itself is concerned with how mythology rules reality and everyday life.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

I mean there were so many odd comedic bits. Like when the King is like "Son do as I do" and gets on all fours and starts barking and howling, and he and his son have to fart and burp to prove they're not werewolves.
Or the attack on the town when all the wolf dudes are barking and howling and slitting throats and raping women, and then smash cut to them all just sitting around, covered in sweat and blood, just looking exhausted like the Avengers eating shawarma.

Maybe that's the problem, your point of reference are Marvel post-credit stingers that have more in common with publicity stunts than actual filmmaking.

 

[SilentPony]

Maybe that's the problem, your point of reference are Marvel post-credit stingers that have more in common with publicity stunts than actual filmmaking.

I mean a comedic timing bit is a pretty universal thing. Marvel is hardly the first studio to put comedy in movies. And it wasn't just me, the entire audience I was with was laughing the whole time during Northman.
Like the scene where the maid is going to be sacrificed and gets saved and scurries off - we laughed. Because where do you think you're going? You're a slave maid and its been determined you die.
Or the Valkyrie scene where she has braces on. Again, big laugh line in my theater. The scene where the son jumps on Hamlet and starts stabbing him in the back, people are laughing because its like Austin Powers fighting MiniMe.

It has nothing to do with some vague concept like "filmmaking" and "films" vs "movies". That's just Hollywood non-speak for "Im smarter than you". It means nothing.
and intentional or not, Northman is a black comedy, much closer to Harold and Maude than Gladiator.

 

[Specter Von Baren]

I'm currently watching the new Fantastic Beasts and... Why couldn't this series have just been about fantastic creatures? This movie is at its best when it's focusing on Newt and the weird creatures of the wizarding world, the whole political and familial plot stuff is just poorly done and didn't need to be there.

Stop putting in "save the world" plots all the time! Stakes don't need to be super high to keep interest and if you aren't good at it then it'll just make your story worse!

 

[Specter Von Baren]

And low and behold, the only part of the movie I really like is when Newt is trying to save his brother who's being held in a dungeon full of scorpion monsters and he starts doing this silly dance so they don't attack him. Both me and my father questioned why the whole movie and series couldn't be about that.

Point is, not a good movie. Loose plot threads and stuff that makes no sense. Not the worst movie ever, but it's at best flat. Think of it as feeling like the big "camping trip" in Harry Potter in terms of how fun it is.

 

[BrawlMan]

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, 8/10

The Northman, 8/10

Between these two, I might see Northman first next weekend. I wanna see both though.

 

[Specter Von Baren]

Also, you can really feel how much it hurt this movie to recast Grindelwald. Depp wouldn't have been able to save this movie but he would have certainly made it a much better one. As I was watching the scenes with Grindelwald, I could see how much better they would have been if they had Depp playing them with his intense, unhinged persona with the character. The actor they got isn't a bad actor or anything, but he's not Depp, and he's just not up to the task of following up Depp's performance.

 

[Ezekiel]

The Fisher King (1991, Terry Gilliam)

Jeff Bridges' character feels he has to help disturbed homeless man played by Robin Williams, because of a tragedy he caused. Very good. Maybe slightly too optimistic, but I'll take that over so many dour filmmakers of today who seem incapable or disinterested in making anything uplifting or fun. Of quality, I mean. Has some of that heightened realism you'd expect from the director.

 

[Phoenixmgs]

AmbuLAnce - 3/10

I heard some good things about the movie so I checked it out and the concept could make for a good movie but this was really bad. There's just some editing and dialog that makes no sense. The movie just drags as it's basically a very very very long boring chase scene. The themes of the movie are just like all over the place and turning on a dime. This could have been a good concept for a movie as one of the bank robbers were a marine while they guy trying to stop them is like some expert at stopping people in such situations so it could've been a fun cat and mouse type movie where the marine guy is using military type maneuvers and hiding techniques while the other guy is doing his best to react and come up with some out-of-the-box strategies, but nothing really happens in that regard until the very end when the bank robbers' plan finally gets executed and it's laughably bad.

 

[Bob_McMillan]

The Batman again at home.

No new thoughts except that I was validated when my sister pointed out that Penguin (and by extension, Batman) just killed a shit ton of people during that car chase.

But what struck me the most was how much less impactful the movie was at home. Makes me really glad I got to see this in theaters.

 

[gorfias]

Venom 2, Let there be Carnage.

Stealing this statement: "Fun with Alcohol" B.

The Batman again at home.

No new thoughts except that I was validated when my sister pointed out that Penguin (and by extension, Batman) just killed a shit ton of people during that car chase.

But what struck me the most was how much less impactful the movie was at home. Makes me really glad I got to see this in theaters.

The part regarding taking a ... well... to the face... well... this is pretty on point.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Dr. No

I'd forgotten how cheap this movie feels. Very first scene you can spot the camera crew reflected off the car that drives away with Strangways. And then of course Dr. No's lair looks less convincing than Dr. Evil's, down to the tacky love hotel look. Dr. No himself shows up in the last 20 minutes of the movie and not really worth the build up.

For Bond girls you get Sylvia Trench, who shows up in the next movie and then never again (I think they wanted her to be a recurring romantic interest before they decided against it). Taro's great, Ursula's great, though I didn't remember her as such a feral-like character. I guess she's supposed to be a Good Girl Friday type against the other femme fatale characters. I also like this Leiter a lot though he barely participates in the plot.

Connery's great as always. He's my favorite just for being the most like in the books. I like it when the hero is having fun (as much as I like Batman, or rather Batman movies) and I'm a little bit tired of this weight-of-the-world-on-my-shoulders attitude in action movies.

Some thought on the more ridiculous parts:

Bond suspects his vodka may be poisoned when he finds his room broken into but not the coffee Dr. No serves him as a "guest". K.

A hitman goes to pick up Bond at the airport and James excuses himself for a second to go back inside and call his handler from a booth to double check if the driver's a hitman or not. Well that was easy. Nice that the hitman let him do that.

James isn't the best at interrogations. He lets go the photographer girl at the party without getting anything from her, even though she's been stalking him and may be part of the hit on him. Later he shoots Dent (who is unarmed) before he has a chance to give him any information, again.

 

[thebobmaster]

To be fair, the budget for Dr. No came in at under $1 million. Even in 1962, that's a rather cheap budget. Dr. No is far from my favorite of the Bond movies, for the record. Not the worst, but it's probably in the bottom quarter.