Recent content by SpaceCop

"None of this would have happened if you had just stopped." The Line gives us situations where we know we'll have to do horrific things to progress. So why do we continue? And after we blunder from atrocity to atrocity, why are we surprised that our actions aren't vindicated? "We didn't...

Running away, hiding in closets, crying like a little girl? Being incredibly lucky? Having helpful friends/canine companions? Knocking furniture over? Being guided along by forces beyond their comprehension? A hallmark of plenty of horror games is characters who survive through cowardice...

A bold statement, friend; and really, a premise worth thinking about. Well, how can any work of fiction be scary if its protagonist must overcome every obstacle they encounter in order to survive and carry the narrative to its conclusion? Games give us a more transparent version of...

Abe of Oddworld fame. He's a hapless, clumsy, cowardly, gross, unlucky schmuck. In addition to being portrayed as such via cutscenes and backstory, he plays that way too: his gameplay centres around avoiding enemies and running the hell away from things. He becomes saviour of his people by...

BioWare can end the series however they want, and we can't get mad because ART--what kind of an argument is that? Since when has appeal to artistic integrity precluded criticism of a piece? If that's an acceptable defence why the fuck do art critics still exist? And the idea of a DLC...

Mass Effect 2 had a large, diverse cast of well-written characters, with the opportunity to get to know them over the course of the game. The story itself had several instances where player choice had direct, visible consequences. Mass Effect 3 gave us a handful of Flanderized...

Undead Nightmare is the DLC high-water mark in my books. It took settings, characters, and gameplay we were familiar with and used them for something that stands up entirely on its own. Its familiarity means that it works in tandem with the main game, but because it is separate from Red Dead...

I've always loved the series for its settings; historical authenticity meets aesthetic appeal--and its gameplay; a uniquely fluid way of exploring said settings. AC, though padded with travel sections, weirdly paced, and weakly cast, was a fresh new experience. ACII gave us a colourful new...

Ehhh. It's a school--an elementary school. Stuff is gonna get banned. I went through primary school in the UK, and we couldn't use proper soccer balls at lunch either. PE class, yes. Lunch break, no--foam balls. It seemed idiotic at the time. But fuckit, I've got no current problem with...

Mass Effect 2's thermal clips... 1) A reloading mechanic makes Mass Effect's technology less functionally unique from other sci fi settings. 2) From a narrative standpoint thermal clips' ubiquitousness makes no sense. Are we expected to believe that every shoestring mercenary operation on the...

I'm really sorry; Half Life 2. I'm not totally sure why I think such heretical thoughts. Sure, it was a little weird how the NPCs Valve so desperately wanted me to like would continue their chipper monologues while I'm in the corner smashing their lab equipment and ignoring the shit out of...

I'm curious how The Imperium is still beset on every side by foes when 90% of the 41st millennium's population appear to be loyal to the Emperor. Imperial Guard, Sisters of Battle, Witch Hunters, Demon Hunters, Grey Knights, Inquisitors, The Deathwatch, The Assassin Cults... And of course...

Dead Rising. The zombies aren't caused by a virus or evil sorcery or some shit; it's wasps that parasitically infect and control their hosts? That's actually pretty inventive and cool. So, where'd the wasps come from? A US government experiment? Well, that's a little cliche, but at...

I've just started re playing X-Com, and to track how long my hapless squaddies survive I've been naming them in themed waves; world leaders, famous painters, Victorian authors, Silent Hill characters, Boondocks characters, etcetera... Captain Gandhi was recently blown up by a Cyberdisc, leaving...

Bring her along on the Quest For The Sacred Ashes. If you side with the cultists and defile the ashes in front of her she's all "Nooooooo" and attacks you. You've gotta straight up murder her, OG style. Whoa, you romanced Isabela? I mean, I did too at first. Until Act 2 rolled around...