100 Things learnt from video games
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Nobody can see you sitting in the shade right in front of them
Plastic Bags are deadly
Cops will let you speed and drive the wrong way ( GTA )
Women love Farting
Plastic Bags are deadly
Cops will let you speed and drive the wrong way ( GTA )
Women love Farting
It is possible to steal absolutely ANYTHING, including national landmarks, provided you are a woman in a red trenchcoat and matching fedora. (Any Carmen Sandiego game)
Even if you're loaded with magnums, shotguns, rocket launchers, handguns are much stronger in cutscenes.
If you wear a helmet that covers your face, you are expendable and will likely die within the first battle cutscene (exception: Halo). Not wearing a helmet/having a face makes you invincible.
If you wear a white hood, you look exactly like a scholar and will be completely ignored, despite the numerous swords and other weapons on your person (Assassin's Creed).
The vicious insect with stingers longer than its body will attack the small red lizard in front of it instead of simply stabbing and killing the person controlling said lizard (Pokemon).
If you wear a white hood, you look exactly like a scholar and will be completely ignored, despite the numerous swords and other weapons on your person (Assassin's Creed).
The vicious insect with stingers longer than its body will attack the small red lizard in front of it instead of simply stabbing and killing the person controlling said lizard (Pokemon).
The best things ever learned: "personally"
1) If your a nerd, your going to rule the world. Period.
2) If your an angst ridden scrawny kid, your going to overthrow a nerd someday.
3) The only people you can ever count on in war are short haired tough looking white men who sound like they smoked too many cigars.
4) When your perforated with lead and your spine is wrapped around your leg find the nearest glowing item shaped like a cross, Regeneration will take absolutely no time and be permanent.
5) If you can't carry 500 pounds of ammo and still jump and dodge, your not going to survive the apocalypse or war.
6) War never changes.
1) If your a nerd, your going to rule the world. Period.
2) If your an angst ridden scrawny kid, your going to overthrow a nerd someday.
3) The only people you can ever count on in war are short haired tough looking white men who sound like they smoked too many cigars.
4) When your perforated with lead and your spine is wrapped around your leg find the nearest glowing item shaped like a cross, Regeneration will take absolutely no time and be permanent.
5) If you can't carry 500 pounds of ammo and still jump and dodge, your not going to survive the apocalypse or war.
6) War never changes.
1. You don't actually have to speak to get by in the world, when people ask you to do something either do it or don't do it (Half Life 1 & 2 and all other silent protagonists)
2. You may have a shotgun, a crow bar and various other implements that could splinter wood with ease yet the ONLY way to open a timber framed door with a simple lock is with the proper key (Resident Evil series).
3. After you have killed another man in cold blood the only proper thing to do is to crouch down an rub your gentiles in their face (Halo)
4. If you fail it is not because you suck or because you need more practice... it's because your opponent cheated.
5. Bullets travel in a perfectly straight trajectory, instantaneously and with no drop or influence of gravity at all.
6. A whole army of elite super soldiers covered in enough armour to survive 10 shots from an assault rifle... are no match for one guy with a combat knife (Killzone 2)
7. Don't worry if you get shot, just lie down for 10 seconds and you'll be completely healed
8. Grenades are not that loud, one going off only a few feet away and you won't be deafened at all.
2. You may have a shotgun, a crow bar and various other implements that could splinter wood with ease yet the ONLY way to open a timber framed door with a simple lock is with the proper key (Resident Evil series).
3. After you have killed another man in cold blood the only proper thing to do is to crouch down an rub your gentiles in their face (Halo)
4. If you fail it is not because you suck or because you need more practice... it's because your opponent cheated.
5. Bullets travel in a perfectly straight trajectory, instantaneously and with no drop or influence of gravity at all.
6. A whole army of elite super soldiers covered in enough armour to survive 10 shots from an assault rifle... are no match for one guy with a combat knife (Killzone 2)
7. Don't worry if you get shot, just lie down for 10 seconds and you'll be completely healed
8. Grenades are not that loud, one going off only a few feet away and you won't be deafened at all.
1) Life would be easier with unrealistic physics.
2) After hefty combat, you will be faced with a room full of see-saws, buttons, and weighted cubes.
3) Getting launched through the windscreen of your car isn't the end.
2) After hefty combat, you will be faced with a room full of see-saws, buttons, and weighted cubes.
3) Getting launched through the windscreen of your car isn't the end.
The second you pick up a weapon you know will know exactly how to handle it.
If a man grins smugly at you,in the future he will either sell you out to your enemies or save you from them.
If a man grins smugly at you,in the future he will either sell you out to your enemies or save you from them.
if you eat a flower, you can shoot fireballs out of your hands
if you wear a racoon costume you can fly
you can destroy tanks with pistols (Metal Slug series)
all upgrades look the same, they just fire different things (see above)
if you see a blinking red light, you're fucked (StarCraft)
MY LIFE FOR AUIR
you can miss with a gun point blank (KOTOR)
apparently, if theres zombies running around, people will just leave weapons lying around, or on the walls, or theres a magic box that will give you a random weapon (Nazi Zombies and L4D)
never,EVER, trust a man in a business suit (Half Life series)
mounted guns have unlimited ammo, but their unmounted counterparts don't (CoD4 and Halo 3)
you can kill someone by shooting them in the foot (AWP in CS:S)
if you wear a racoon costume you can fly
you can destroy tanks with pistols (Metal Slug series)
all upgrades look the same, they just fire different things (see above)
if you see a blinking red light, you're fucked (StarCraft)
MY LIFE FOR AUIR
you can miss with a gun point blank (KOTOR)
apparently, if theres zombies running around, people will just leave weapons lying around, or on the walls, or theres a magic box that will give you a random weapon (Nazi Zombies and L4D)
never,EVER, trust a man in a business suit (Half Life series)
mounted guns have unlimited ammo, but their unmounted counterparts don't (CoD4 and Halo 3)
you can kill someone by shooting them in the foot (AWP in CS:S)
1.) You will only faint if you are hit with a massive fireball/earthquake/tornado/etc.
2.) A full day is only about 20 minutes.
3.) Children either don't exist or are impenetrable to any attack.
4.) Everybody in your local village or city knows how to use any kind of weapon.
5.) Dead bodies laying in the streets are nothing out of the ordinary.
6.) Everybody in a town or city knows each other (Given that there are only about 20 people in each town or city.)
7.) It is completely ethical to capture wild creatures from their natural habitat to make them fight one another.
8.) You can carry five war hammers, two suits of armor, nine Claymores and five-hundred arrows in your pockets. (Or a special horse named Shadowmere.)
9.) Breaking enough windows causes you to grow horns.
10.) Mistakes can be fixed by reloading a saved game.
11.) All scientists with underground experimental facilities are evil.
12.) Music plays in every intense situations.
13.) All homely-looking woman are smart and angry whilst their beautiful counterparts are bubbly and stupid.
14.) Racial stereotypes are completely true.
15.) Magical fairies float around your head telling you to "listen!" without...shutting...up...
16.) All armies are made up of the clones from Star Wars, only some of them are missing the cool armor.
17.) You don't have to go to the store to buy furniture. Just pause the game, switch to a different panel and place the furniture you buy wherever you want.
18.) Cars made by notable manufacturers cannot be damaged or destroyed.
19.) People say the same things over and over when talked to.
20.) Subsequently, nobody seems to think being interrogated by a stranger in town the least bit strange. ("Do you know where the sailors are?")
There are more, but I must get to class. =-)
2.) A full day is only about 20 minutes.
3.) Children either don't exist or are impenetrable to any attack.
4.) Everybody in your local village or city knows how to use any kind of weapon.
5.) Dead bodies laying in the streets are nothing out of the ordinary.
6.) Everybody in a town or city knows each other (Given that there are only about 20 people in each town or city.)
7.) It is completely ethical to capture wild creatures from their natural habitat to make them fight one another.
8.) You can carry five war hammers, two suits of armor, nine Claymores and five-hundred arrows in your pockets. (Or a special horse named Shadowmere.)
9.) Breaking enough windows causes you to grow horns.
10.) Mistakes can be fixed by reloading a saved game.
11.) All scientists with underground experimental facilities are evil.
12.) Music plays in every intense situations.
13.) All homely-looking woman are smart and angry whilst their beautiful counterparts are bubbly and stupid.
14.) Racial stereotypes are completely true.
15.) Magical fairies float around your head telling you to "listen!" without...shutting...up...
16.) All armies are made up of the clones from Star Wars, only some of them are missing the cool armor.
17.) You don't have to go to the store to buy furniture. Just pause the game, switch to a different panel and place the furniture you buy wherever you want.
18.) Cars made by notable manufacturers cannot be damaged or destroyed.
19.) People say the same things over and over when talked to.
20.) Subsequently, nobody seems to think being interrogated by a stranger in town the least bit strange. ("Do you know where the sailors are?")
There are more, but I must get to class. =-)