100 Things learnt from video games

[LeQuack_Is_Back]

-tank shells will not kill infantry unless you hit them in the face (Valkyria Chronicles)

-dualwielding does not inhibit your accuracy in any noticeable way, ever

-Shotguns take 2 shots to kill, even if the barrel of the gun is touching your target (Metal Gear Online)

 

[300lb. Samoan]

You always run faster with a knife. (I didn't need FPS Doug to tell me!)

If it looks like wood, you can shoot thru it. If it looks like steel, you cannot. If it looks like tin, you just have to try it. (CS)

Every locked door has a button or key card located somewhere in a completely remote part of the facility that will open it. (Doom)

The people you are trying to rescue, no matter how dangerous the situation is, no matter how many times they say "OK I'll follow you", they will always have trouble following you. You can usually blame artificial intelligence for this (even when this happens in real life). (Half-life)

If a barrel is on fire, it will explode when you shoot it. Same if it's painted with red stripes. (Doom, Half-Life 2)

Only bitches talk shit. (OK so I actually learned that from Lil' Jon, but I found the song in my CS Sounds folder originally.)

 

[Evil Tim]

You always run faster with a knife. (I didn't need FPS Doug to tell me!)

To make an important distinction, you run faster with a knife in your hand. That rocket launcher on your back only weighs something if you're actually holding it.

 

[ahiddenfigure]

If the world is ever threatened by an extra-terrestrial/dimentional being, the world will be saved by a bunch of kids with awful hair

Or, lacking said kids, a physicist who never speaks.

 

[300lb. Samoan]

You always run faster with a knife. (I didn't need FPS Doug to tell me!)

To make an important distinction, you run faster with a knife in your hand. That rocket launcher on your back only weighs something if you're actually holding it.

Oh yea, I almost forgot!

If you intend to fight your way out of a city or moon base, don't forget to bring a back-pack big enough (and with specific slots for) a shotgun, chaingun, rocket launcher, big experimental laser-fuck-gun, plasma blaster, and two tons of ammo. As long as you have this, nothing will weigh anything.

 

[Korey Von Doom]

Anything that can go wrong WILL HORRIBLY GO WRONG (Dead Space)

 

[DocLock]

You never have to pee.

You never have to drink.
--A lot of games that have a human protagonist.

 

[GuerrillaClock]

Never leave explosive barrels scattered around the place.

 

[Repulsionary]

Oh, some more that I've learned from WoW.

Never EVER assume that the people in your party know how to play their class.

Edit: But NEVER assume that the person you're dueling doesn't.

Recount does not lie. The warlock really IS doing 14 DPS.

The boss will never drop the gear that you need.

When he does, you will most definitely lose the need roll to the druid who can't even USE those chain shoulders.

When taming a boss as a pet, never assume that those around you know how taming goes. Better to be anal and get the pet than be nice and wind up having to run Sunken Temple again with one less warlock.

/2 and Barrens chat are more often than not interchangeable.

There are no such things as tanks.

Edit: You can always identify the twinks in the battlegrounds using two simple questions: is it a gnome, and is it a rogue?

 

[GhostXIII]

A cardboard box is possibly one of the most effective stealth devices known to man.....

 

[Duke Flipside]

A plasma rifle kills you just as dead as an AK47 (TimeSplitters)
Driving motorbikes is *really* dangerous (GTA4)

 

[Christemo]

dont mess with Captain Falcon.

 

[Spitfire175]

There in so such thing as pain inflicted by gunshots.

 

[Hamster at Dawn]

People leave roast chicken in phone and mail boxes. If you teabag the chicken then it cures you.

 

[Iron Mal]

1- No matter where a person stabs you (even if they just slash the air next to you) you will instantly die, this is because most people who join the military have a deadly fear of pointy objects (CoD4/WaW).

2- If you are on fire, jumping into water will not help you, the correct course of action is to apply bandages and disinfectant to your still burning wounds (AVP).

3- Despite being the Private/rookie/FNG you will always have clearance to call in support while your commanding officer sadly does not have this authority (CoD4/WaW).

4- Driving a tank seriously only takes one person, and it's like riding a bike, everyone can do it! (CoD:WaW)

5- All front line soldiers have had advanced genetic engineering since WWII that not only enables them to fight with no degredation in performance (regardless of fatigue or injury) but also means that what were once fatal wounds will seal up and heal before your eyes!

 

[FallenJellyDoughnut]

On enemys, ammo is unlimited until they die and magically lose all their ammo to the ammo fairies.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

No matter how bad an injury is, your health will replemish in a few seconds (Some FPS')

Don't startle anything that seems to be PMS-y, It will kill you (L4D)

Young Japanese girls with magic cameras are what you need to exorsize ghosts not the Ghostbusters or a priest (Fatal frame)

 

[AwesomeNinjaPowers]

Small children should be avoided at all costs as they most likely have cosmic death powers and a huge mad about something (F.E.A.R) or a big scary friend who's going to take offence to the fact you looked at them (Bioshock)

Sometimes girls are actually guys (every Final Fantasy and JRPG ever)

Condoms are perfectly allright even after being buried for who knows how long (Fable 2)

Big corporations are evil (umm almost every game ever for example Resi Evil)

Princesses are always in another castle (Mario)

Small and furry woodland creatures on crack are very marketable (Sonic)

Being called a n00b has no effect on my ability to function or indeed to whup your ass and does not make me feel the need to cry and listen to NIN.

 

[Distorted Stu]

Burgers and other greasy foods restore health.
There is no such thing as a common cold or other popular illness.. just horrible killing/mutating ones.
Noone can see you if you stay in shadows, even with 3 green lights glowing on your face.
There are no good little girls, all are evil/devil/mutated/revengfull/demon.
Health restores if stood still.
We don't feel pain and heal quickly (far cry 2)
Never question anythign and just do it
If you cannot talk, everyone takes your silence as a yes and that you do want to go kill aliens, save someone, risk you life or enter an extreme sport.

 

[FriendlyPossum]

Everyone has a halo shield unless your hit in the back.

Even if you die you can come back as long as you have a fairy in a bottle (zelda)

In the grip of death, blood gushing from you like a water fountain you can come back to a full bill of health as long as a friend runs up to you pushes X and say 'get up'. (gears2)

You will always win a race if you strafe