The Time Games Helped Me Come Out

[thatsthespirit]

The Time Games Helped Me Come Out

Games can help you explore which you like better, a posture collar or a dog lead.

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[Thaluikhain]

Nice article. Many people like to forget or dismiss the importance of diversity in various media, including videogames, but it is actually important as things stand.

 

[V8 Ninja]

It'd be like saying you preferred Digimon to Pokemon; you'd get your head kicked in.

If that was the case, I think us surviving Digimon fans need to make a Digimon revengence crackdown squad.

 

[Robby Foxfur]

Now unsure of what to write i'd like to congratulate you on having the ____ to write this article being what it means and having it set in such a public form, and with you name attached. I like how you summed up a lot of your experiences as I did this here because i wanted to try it without the world judging you for it. Which is what i think more of use need even when it comes to different things. This is semi inspirational to me it makes me feel good that someone else struggled with their life in a similar way

But before i go off on a tangent i'll stop right there. Thank you for the interesting article and a great read, i hope Christmas isn't too awkward this year but if it is, just remember you have more courage than most.

 

[an annoyed writer]

Thanks for writing this article. As a transgendered gamer, I too found solace in games, especially ones like the aforementioned Mass Effect. I guess it's one of the reasons I want to get into game design: I want to give something back to the medium that helped me keep it together in some of the most turbulent times of my life. Thank you.

 

[KriticalKiwi]

Good on you mate. Obviously video games have quite a ways to progress, but it's nice to see what effort has been made is having a positive effect

 

[Draxz]

My... This was... Unexpected. At least someone's speaking out for recognition of a new "norm'".

 

[unacomn]

"Some people look at porn, others go to nightclubs - I played GTA III."
Reminds me of my high-school years, though for different reasons.

You do bring up an interesting idea. Romance and sexuality in general tend to be marginalized as a side thing, some sort of gimmick, a mini-game even. I don't recall any games that deal with that, properly (properly properly) as their core concept. That's not only an untapped idea, but an untapped market, were I to judge by the the appeal of romance movies.
Unfortunately, making something like that a reality would be difficult, for a variety of reasons, like repeating the whole "sexbox, debby does star wars" media frenzy.

 

[hazabaza1]

"Some people look at porn, others go to nightclubs - I played GTA III."
Reminds me of my high-school years, though for different reasons.

You do bring up an interesting idea. Romance and sexuality in general tend to be marginalized as a side thing, some sort of gimmick, a mini-game even. I don't recall any games that deal with that, properly (properly properly) as their core concept. That's not only an untapped idea, but an untapped market, were I to judge by the the appeal of romance movies.
Unfortunately, making something like that a reality would be difficult, for a variety of reasons, like repeating the whole "sexbox, debby does star wars" media frenzy.

Various dating sims and stuff like Catherine seem to look into this a bit more. You'll probably be hard pressed to find a western game that actually looks at relationships and sex that isn't just smut.

 

[Jamous]

It'd be like saying you preferred Digimon to Pokemon; you'd get your head kicked in.

If that was the case, I think us surviving Digimon fans need to make a Digimon revengence crackdown squad.

I love how, after all that was talked about in the article, -this- is what makes the comments. Well played, my friend, well played. I personally, happen to be one of those perverts who plays both sides.

I'm very glad you wrote this article Ed. Thanks; I know I went through something reasonably similar when it came to developing my sexuality (Even if I didn't really realise that's what it was at the time.). Another note; even if it's not something you're personally into, having features like that in games (like you spoke of in the Sims and also, more surprisingly, Saint's Row) it also can help teach acceptance. It's really not a big deal no matter what you do. It's your stuff. Particularly something I noticed in Saint's Row 3; it's good, surprisingly so, at just overlooking stuff that would be seen as taboo or whatever. Now maybe that's because it's trying to get some 'shock factor' or whatever but it comes across quite nicely I think. Or maybe I just got too into it. I don't know. :/

 

[Epic Fail 1977]

I get that the discovery of some aspects of sexuality (fetishes for example) might be, well, just that - a discovery.

And I get that coming out as gay or bi must be really difficult.

But I really don't get how someone over a certain age (like, say, 14) can be unaware of something as basic as their own preference of males vs females, at least not if they are male. Doesn't the average 14 year old boy-man get a near-instant erection at the slightest visual stimulation? I know I did, and comedy sketches like Kevin and Perry make me think I was far from unusual in that regard. So then I have to imagine that if said stimulation is in the form of another male then, well, wouldn't that be a pretty big fucking clue?

 

[thatsthespirit]

It's not unawareness, it's suppression. People can know what they like but because parents, peers, TV etc. tells them it's something grubby or weird they do these mental contortions to try and keep it buried.

 

[an annoyed writer]

It's not unawareness, it's suppression. People can know what they like but because parents, peers, TV etc. tells them it's something grubby or weird they do these mental contortions to try and keep it buried.

Very true. Unfortunately we still live in a world where those who don't fit into the "normal" boxes are suppressed, abused, and looked down upon because they're different. I had to hide my identity for a long time, because the punishment for being different around here was nothing less than death.

 

[Zen Toombs]

It's not unawareness, it's suppression. People can know what they like but because parents, peers, TV etc. tells them it's something grubby or weird they do these mental contortions to try and keep it buried.

Exactly. Good 8th post. ^_^

OT: Good article, it's nice to see someone talking about the many different sides to gaming. While videogames didn't affect my entrance into bisexuality (Angelina Jolee/Keira Knightley/Natalie Portman and Johnny Depp/Brad Pitt did that for me just fine), I'm glad they helped the author.

Spoiler: Captcha

sausages
Stay classy Captcha. Stay classy.

 

[Proverbial Jon]

What an interesting (and amusing) article Ed, thanks for sharing.

I'm 25 and I've had very little experience in the world of sexual exploration. To be honest I couldn't confidently tell you my orientation although I typically side with heterosexual because it's most prominent. I could be interested in men but I haven't had the opportunity to... put it to the test, as it were.

Then there's the question of whether or not I'm denying certain feelings because I'm simply making them up or because preconceived societal norms dictate that I must suppress them? The world can be quite the confusing place.

Additionally, I know being a furry isn't considered a sexuality, but finding out that I was one was an interesting part of life. Thank the maker for the internet, that's all I can say. It's so much easier to find like minded people and gain that reassurance that you are not a freak.

It'd be like saying you preferred Digimon to Pokemon; you'd get your head kicked in.

If that was the case, I think us surviving Digimon fans need to make a Digimon revengence crackdown squad.

People prefer Pokemon over Digimon? What is this sacrilege? Burn the heretics! Everyone knows Digimon is the superior franchise.

 

[Twinmill5000]

I agree, but working a low end retail job has taught me something even more important. While on the internet, at least, being gay is literally the farthest thing away from a big deal ever...

in real life, at least where I live, people are still very judgemental.

But I think it will get better. As society progresses, we'll be more open minded to sexuality as a whole and shun something else instead. I really can't say much here without sounding like I should be on an episode of 'Dis Troper, but, I will say that, hey, I think there's a reason alot of guys choose female characters in MMOs; it's not that they want something to look at; it's much deeper rooted, and we'll see a massive change in the open-mindedness to transgender people in the near future on the internet, and in real life too when people don't have to fear getting the shit kicked out of them in the real world while they're not that... convincing.

Not saying I will actually do that. I'm just saying I weigh 130 pounds and work a shitty job and express myself through playing strictly female characters in games.

I can also bench 140 and have 6 years of experience on guitar, which I'm, sadly, much more happy to share in the real world than the paragraphs above that statement. I hope to eventually live in a society where that is just not the truth, where I can be open, and actually go through with certain things. Until then, I have you, internet.

 

[tzimize]

Fantastic article, with good points made all the way.

I'd like to say that articles like this might change the public opinion on games, and their importance/uses...but I'm afraid that close-minded people just cant be educated.

Still, congrats for having the balls to write this, it was a very enjoyable and thought provoking article, and I'm glad its posted on the escapist. It should really also be required reading for most adults.

 

[Callate]

I've a feeling I may take some crap for this, but... here goes.

I understand to some degree what it feels like to have something that is inherent to who you are, something you can't change, be held against you. Whether it's sexuality or sexual identity or race or handicap (or whatever), it's deeply hurtful to be pre-judged by people who know one thing about you, barely know that, and yet feel that because of that they know you and can condemn you.

And yet, well... My experience is informed by this. I knew a young woman in college I'll call "M". And her thing was that she might as well have introduced herself as "Hi I'm bisexual. My name is 'M'." Being bisexual was almost literally the first thing she wanted everyone to know, and how hard it was to be bisexual, and how judgemental everyone was about her being bisexual, and... Well, you get the point.

A lot of people I knew in college were going through one form or another of coming to terms with themselves, sexually or otherwise. (Including myself.) A couple of close friends and a couple of girlfriends were openly bisexual, but they were both a lot quieter about it, and as far as I could tell, a lot happier about the fact as well.

"M" wasn't happy about it. She was unhealthy about her fixation with being bisexual, and she was incredibly tedious to be around a lot of the time as a result. She grew up in a setting where her bisexuality was undoubtedly more controversial and painful, and simply couldn't get it that she was now in a setting where that controversy was hardly a factor.

I guess what I want to say is that our sexuality will unquestionably inform on who we are, and I'm glad the author's experiences allowed him to understand an aspect of himself more fully. But I don't think it's ever "healthy" to make something like one's sexuality the central aspect of who you are. It may be hard to overcome the desire to "push back" if you feel something important to you has long been repressed; it's possible such a reaction is all but inevitable. But it seems to me that many people develop less as people for making such a reaction a central tenet of their lives.

I'm a lot of things, good, bad, and indifferent, some more fully realized than others, some that I'm still coming to terms with, some that I'm working to overcome. My sexuality is only one of them.