The Time Games Helped Me Come Out

Drake Winters

New member
Aug 9, 2012
This was a good article. Now I dunno about everybody being a perv in SL but about like 95% so pretty much I guess. Shame the picture of the article is a human though, So much better looking furries in that thing.


New member
Feb 27, 2010
Interesting article, and it's nice to see a positive comment on Second Life in the wider gaming media, for once.

thatsthespirit said:
We need to ignore this kind of scared bullshit.
I get what you're saying, but we really can't ignore it. SL was the centre of a major shitstorm back around 07/08 when some news station (from memory I think in Germany) ran a story on ageplay in SL.

i.e. cybersex between two or more avatars, at least one of which has a blatantly childlike appearance and is RP'd in that manner.
Linden Lab is based in the USA, and governed by US law. Simulations of sex with children could - almost certainly would - draw unwelcome attention from the law - even if all concerned are over the age of 18. Responding to the tv story Linden Lab had to make some changes - such as moving all adult/sexual content off of the mainland to the adult continent of Zindra (or private islands) and making ageplay a bannable offence.

Now... I'm not suggesting that your situation was anything like that. To the best of my knowledge actual underage SL users are far more likely to portray themselves as adults, as I believe you did, in avatar appearance.

Regardless, if you were under 18 you shouln't have been on the adult grid - that's why the teen grid existed. Personally - and I'm saying this as someone who has been on SL for close to 5 years, and in that time I've moved in some similar circles to what you allude to - if I learned I was speaking to someone under the age of 18 in SL in any even remotely sexual context I'd stop contact with that person instantly, and quite possibly report them to LL, depending on the circumstances. You have the right to express yourself. I have the right not to get perma-banned and/or investigated by the police.

SL remains a fantastic and unique example of hands off management and freedom of expression, but that freedom is precarious as hell. This isn't a case of kow-towing to right wing reactionaries, this is a case of SL not being shut down by the FBI.

Miss Layton

New member
Feb 18, 2013
My God, I love this article. I can relate.

For me, in most RPG's, I almost always went for a female avatar. I wanted an outlet for that side of my life that - growing up - I wasn't exactly allowed to express. Even today, I almost always prefer playing female than male, but that's less "because I have no outlets for my femininity" and more "personal preference." Nowadays, yes, I live as often as a woman as I do as a man, and I get a kick out of assuming either identity.

But I have so many games to thank back then, growing up as an alienated gamer with extreme gender issues, that allowed me to try things out. It always felt so natural.


New member
Oct 31, 2008
This article got me thinking about a lot about the things I saw earlier in my life. My oldest sister is a lesbian, she says she has been one since the end of elementary school. My family and I found out in her second to last year of high school. She was one of the people who was one of the guys, with mostly male friends when we grew up. She went through some really hard times because she was unsure about this. She had a friend in middle school who was her best friend, my sister doted on her and was always around for her. That friend got a boyfriend and my sister saw less and less of her. She thought it was weird that at her age she still hadn't had a relationship with anyone. She was and still is a gamer, her friends she goes to anime conventions with introduced her to this guy. They dated for a few months and got around well, but it was like friendships she had had with guys when she was younger, she would invite me to come with her sometimes. I realize now that me being there gave her an escape plan in case she felt uncomfortable. Eventually the two had sex, and she didn't feel anything from it. Things became strained and they broke up. It was at this time she became a lot more involved in anime conventions and she found that she liked to do cross-play, and is very convincing. She met who became her first girlfriend at an anime convention, my sister as Naruto and the other as Sasuke. Yaoi-fangirls being into there slash asked her to kiss a person cosplaying as Sasuke, the other person agreed and the rest became her first invested relationship. They eventually broke up, but my sister eventually got over it and has been in a happy, stable relationship with her girlfriend for the last 3 years.

As all of this was going on I was just starting to go through puberty myself. Other people around me were dating, but for myself I never seemed to meet anyone who I want to be in a relationship with. I didn't even think about sex etc. I didn't think anything was weird about it, when people would brag about stuff related to it I'd ignore it and everything was fine. When I saw people regardless of how attractive they were I didn't feel a physical draw to them. I meet women I liked and never thought about myself in a sexual way at all. I thought I was just a person who didn't think about it. During this time period I was online a lot and was linked to tvtropes. I realized I like to read romance and shoujo, I like fantasy and coming of age tales, I also came upon the page about asexuality []. It was like every question I had about myself made staggering amounts of sense. I became a lot more comfortable with myself. It seems I also became a more affectionate person, I spent a lot more time with my older sister and it didn't seem awkward at all even when her girlfriend was there. I am now 21 and still yet to have any sort of sexual relationship with anyone, but it doesn't bother me. I am kind of a hopeless romantic, but frankly I don't mind it. I look forward to just having a person I am comfortable with and who is comfortable with me. Its annoying how I am a person who loves personal contact and being all cuddly, but not wanting more than that is weird to people; does everyone else in the world only do that when they want in someones pants?